This episode was okay. Then we got to the last ten minutes or so, and I just sat there screaming internally. NOOOO. NOOOOOO.
Opening monologue: I feel alive when I’m touching you, blah blah teenage hormones blah.
We pick up where we left off. Vico’s about to pop one of Joaquin’s pills, because she’s so sad and so very alone, but Mia runs up and stops her. (By…throwing her phone at Vico’s head. Hee. Never change, Mia.) She gasps when she sees what Vico’s holding: “THESE ARE DRUGS!” Indeed they are, Mia! Mia clutches her pearls, then Mansilla shows up and notices something shifty is going on. Mia and Vico both cover and leave him confused in their wake.
The last time we saw Papa B, he was storming into school presumably to read Pablo the riot act for watching porn in the school lounge. Just kidding! Papa B’s all proud that Pablo’s growing up to be a perv just like he is. He’s like, “So what kind of porn was it? What kind of sex do you wanna have? What’s your dick like homie, what are you into.” I’m not actually making that up, God help me. He and Pablo dance around the subject of Paula, since Pablo thinks their relationship is on the DL, and Pablo says he’s already forgotten about Marizza. But…but…they danced under a disco ball in the sad trailer! That shit was ROMANTIC. Then Paula shows up at school (God, their security is lax), and Pablo hustles off to go mack with her.
Mia comes to Feli with her suspicions about Vico, and Feli is not down with helping, on account of Vico trying to fuck her over with Augusto. (And with Manuel…and with Mia…Feli’s got a fair point here, actually.) Mia snaps that Feli owes her for getting them busted with the cheat sheets. Plus like, all they have to do is stalk her and find out what she’s up to. Manuel does it, how hard can it be?
Papa C shows up to school, presumably about Mia’s cheating thing. Sonia shows up at the same time for Lujan, and they argue and put their faces too close together, as usual. Sonia sweeps off to the cafeteria, and Lujan spills everything about Marcos. Sonia’s like, omg, meddling in people’s love lives makes me feel young again! Marcos himself comes in, and Sonia’s like, “DAAANG girl, I can tell there’s a conventionally attractive guy under those glasses!” Lujan’s like, “Yeah, and he’s in love with Marizza, I Cyrano’d my way to disaster.” Maybe if she’d watched The Truth About Cats and Dogs she’d know this could only end badly. Sonia assures Lujan Marizza won’t be mad at her: after all, Marizza hatches wacky schemes that fuck up people’s lives all the time. Hee! She really tells Lujan this. Sonia agrees to help Lujan continue the charade, but they’ll have to slowly ease Marcos off the idea so when the truth inevitably comes out, it won’t be so bad. Then of course Sonia rolls up and squeals to Marcos that Marizza calls every night squealing about him. Sure, that’s easing him off.
Guido and Tomás’s mom have also been called to school over their sons’ inappropriate behavior. Guido’s mom is SO CUTE, you guys. Look at her!
Adorable!!!! She deserves a better son.
Tomás’s mom is also very cute, although she looks a little too young to be a mom. Tomás’s mom recognizes Guido’s mom, and they squeal and hug. Gloria’s like, the fuck, I thought all the parents here hated each other. Clearly not these two adorable moms! Tomás’s mom says that Guido’s mom used to be the maid in her house. Gloria’s like, “OH SHIT, that is some QUALITY GOSSIP.”
So cute!!!!!!!!!!
Pablo and Paula lock themselves in the map room. I love how they’re hooking up here but can’t get past second base in Paula’s sweet-ass apartment. Few can resist the lure of the map room, I guess. Paula makes fun of them for having a room entirely for maps, and Pablo says, “Hey, this is the most important room in the school!” “REALLY,” Paula says dryly. Hell yeah it is, Paula! Have you seen this show? They start making out and I swear to God, the cheesiest, porniest saxophone starts playing in the background. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING. But before this can go any further, Hilda knocks on the door and cockblocks them. Pablo manages to deflect her, and Paula’s like, “Being surrounded by reminders that you’re in high school is such a turn-on.” She invites him to make out at her house, again, which will probably go nowhere, again.
Classroom. Tomás has a bunch of poetry books open, and is trying to piece together a poem. “What rhymes with Lulu?” he doesn’t say. I mean, I guess he’s trying, and not just copying a Neruda poem like Guido did. Anyway, Guido’s hanging with him, and Gloria comes up and tells them their mothers are in the office. She’s all like, “And guess what, they know each other, because Guido’s mom is a maid!” Guido’s like, “WHAT, that’s IMPOSSIBLE, we’re not POOR…hahahaha let me go talk to them ALONE.” He blusters that he’ll take care of it, and poor dumb Tomás doesn’t pick up on anything weird about this.
Unnecessary scene of Papa C discipling Mia about cheating, Mia complaining about Mercedes some more. It does absolutely nothing for the plot, so let’s move on.
Back in the office, Guido’s mom is telling Tomás’s about how her maid service has grown and they’re doing really well. SHE’S SO CUTE. Guido doesn’t deserve her! Guido sees her from the doorway, and tells Gloria that that woman IS a maid, but she’s not his mom — she’s just crazy and thinks she is. And Guido remains the worst! Gloria leaves, and Guido quickly approaches his mom and tells her that she has to leave, because she’s harshing his cool. She does, but on her way out, she runs into Sonia and (cutely, as she does all things) wants an autograph. She tells Sonia to make it out to “Guido’s mom.” Mia, who’s also in the main hall after walking Papa C out, is like, “Whoa, that’s your mom?” Guido’s like, “No…it must be ANOTHER GUIDO.” Man, Guido impresses me with how much he makes me hate him. Then Feli runs up and is like, “Dude, I can’t find Vico! I failed at stalking her!” She and Mia run off to find her.
Mia looks in the bathroom first, and some rando girl comes in and they have a conversation about how much their boobs itch or whatever. It’s just a lame excuse for Mia to unbutton her shirt. Manuel pokes his head out and is like, “Oh shit, I missed episode one, now’s my chance to see her bra!” ICK. Mia catches him and understandably freaks out, and Blas immediately storms in to defend her honor. Am I surprised Blas was creeping outside the girls’ bathroom? “This bathroom is for everyone!” Manuel says. It is? Does that seem like a horrifically bad idea to anyone else? Well, actually, I’ve heard of multi-stall unisex bathrooms in some countries because they have doors and walls that go all the way to the floor (unlike the US, sigh), but it still seems like a safety issue. Well, whatever. Never being one to pass up an opportunity to mess with Manuel, Blas drags him off for discipline.
Teachers’ lounge. Vico’s sitting and emoing to Mansilla that everyone hates her. She didn’t go to her exam because she was too sad, and what’s the point of studying when she can just become a trophy wife or (more likely) a side piece? Mansilla’s like, “Or…you could have your own goals…” He asks if anything happened that might have made people turn on her, but just then Blas barges in with Manuel. He’s like, “This is an issue for Dunoff!” Mansilla’s like, “Whoa, I am way more competent than Dunoff. Also I need something to do, I’ve been fucking around for like five episodes.” Manuel blusters that he had NO IDEA that the girls’ bathroom wasn’t mixed-sex like…hasn’t he been at this school for a term already? Mansilla lets it slide, because who hasn’t seen a dude in the girls’ bathroom, amirite? It’s never a cause for alarm! Manuel snaps that Mia’s always trying to get him into trouble, so from now on, she’s DEAD TO HIM. “It’s not so easy to get someone out of your head. Or your heart,” Mansilla observes. Hee. He ships it so hard.
“You liiiiiiiiike her.”
Classroom. Hilda makes everyone partner up and share books and since half the class is off stalking the other, Nico has to share with Luna. Awkward! His hair’s looking pretty good, though. Usually it looks kind of permanently damp (probably from gel) and it’s a little fluffier looking here.
On a hair note, though, I should add they did not take my advice, and they cut the sides of Manuel’s hair but not the back. SIGH. Anyway, on the other side of the classrom, Guido, Tomás, and Pablo have learned absolutely nothing, and are passing around a porn mag. SIGH.
Vico goes back to Mia’s room, and Mia comes in too. “Did you follow me?” Vico asks. Mia’s like, “Yes, I’m a stalker now just like Manuel.” Just kidding. Vico cries and says she keeps hurting people she cares about. “I spread hate and I get hate.” “I knew another Vico,” Mia says. “Me too,” Vico says. Aw! They hug and make up.
Tomás finishes his love letter and slips it into Gloria’s outgoing mail tray. He “accidentally” knocks the tray off her desk and puts the letter in while he’s putting everything back. It’s a pretty slick move, for Tomás.
Mia’s room, this time with Feli. Mia’s getting ready for her picnic with Blas, while Feli wails that she doesn’t wanna make up with Vico. Mia’s like, you need to get over yourself so we can focus on more important things, like me and my picnic. Oh, Mia. She tells Feli again that she’s doing this to find stuff out about the Society, because she cares about Real Problems. “It’s like there’s been a change in me,” she says. No chaaaange of heaaart, a chaaange in meeee~*~ She’ll show Manuel that he doesn’t ~know~ her! Feli’s kind of like, whatever. Vico really should apologize to Feli, to be honest.
Casa Colucci. Papa C and Mercedes are all lovey-dovey together like whooooo caaaaares. He surprises her with the tickets to New York, because as anyone with a brain knew, he was planning to take her and not Mia. This will end well!
Mia and Blas’s Inappropriate Underage Picnic. It’s pretty fancy, actually — there’s fruit and cookies on plates and orange juice in wine glasses, as they do. I actually do remember them doing this in restaurants when I was in Argentina, although my host family served juice in regular cups. And they had milk in bags! I digress. Anyway, Mia strokes Blas’s ego and he whines to her about how he’s sooo tired of Mansilla cockblocking him when he’s on a power trip. Plus he really doesn’t like that Manuel is hanging around Mia. Mia assures him that she’d rather buy her clothes through a barter club than date Manuel. Heh. Blas starts leaning in (OH GOD NO), but Mia lunges back and presses him about the Society. He tells her that he has no idea what that is, and he didn’t even graduate from Elite Way. Can he has underage makeout now? Mia’s like, “Well in that case, I’m running away now.”
But guess who was spying on them and dramatically left before he could hear Mia ask about the Society? Manuel, naturally. He emos in the hallway while the video for “Te soñé” plays on the lockers. HEE!
“Dang, I looked good in this video.”
Embittered by Mia and Blas, he goes off to find Julieta. She’s just twisted her ankle while hanging out with her friends, and Manuel swoops in (elbowing Rodrigo out of the way) and carries her off. Rodrigo is Not Happy, but Julieta is. She and Manuel make up and he promises to stop stalking and obsessing over Mia. When he and Mia run into each other later, Mia’s all like, “Manuel, I asked Blas about the Society! I care about Real Issues!” but Manuel blows her off. Mia is sad.
Cafeteria. Nico comes up to Luna and is like, “Thanks for sharing your book with me, I bought you this bag of Chocoballs that everyone in this school is always carrying around.” Luna’s all twitterpated, but Sandra’s all Team Matías now and is trying to throw agua all over Luna’s fiesta. She’s like, “Maybe this thing with Nico can still end badly! Do you want Matías’s number?” Luna’s like, “Maybe I don’t want him! Maybe I want a Boy Detective with bad eyebrows!” She storms off, and Sandra dials Matías’s number. Jesus, I know Matías is pretty, but dial back the thirst there, Sandra.
Mansilla busts Pablo, Guido, and Tomás looking at the porn mag in the library. Aw, you guys, the library is sacred! It’s the only place in that school where actual learning occasionally happens! He hauls them off to the teachers’ lounge, and makes them cut out all the parts they like best to make the perfect woman. They note that they’ve made a Frankenstein monster, and Mansilla says, “A woman isn’t an object or just a body.” THANK YOU, MANSILLA. We were taking a very weird turn these past few episodes. He tells them they should have like, an actual emotional connection with a girl. They’re like, “That’s nice and all, but there are boobs right in front of us so…not listening.”
Mia complains to Vico and Feli about the picnic and Manuel not appreciating her detective work, and they’re like, “Forget Manuel, Blas is wayyyy into you.” Mia’s like, “Really? I thought he hit on all the underage girls.” They’re like no way, you should go for it, it’s not inappropriate at all! When Mia approaches Blas, though, he’s all pissy and passive-aggressive about her ditching their picnic. Maybe she was uncomfortable with a teacher hitting on her! Do you ever think of that! He snips that she shouldn’t be leading him on if she’s not ready. Uh, if maturity is what he’s after, maybe he shouldn’t hit on teenagers?
Pablo’s room. He’s like, “I can’t believe Mansilla was trying to get us to treat women like people, how am I gonna hook up with Paula now.” Tomás is like, “And me and Lulu!” and runs out of the room, for some reason. Guido takes it upon himself to help Pablo with Paula. This can only end badly.
Papa C comes by to see Mia and tells her he’s going to New York with Mercedes. Mia is not happy, to the surprise of absolutely no one.
Tomás goes to the office to see if his letter to Lulu was delivered, but it wasn’t. Gloria tells him Lulu’s on leave, which…she is? I thought she came back and apologized to the girls after an inspirational talk with Mansilla? Whatever. Tomás calls his mom and asks her to sign him out of school for a day so he can go give his letter to Lulu. Who is a teacher, and who took him on a pity walk once. Poor dumb Tomás.
Nighttime. Sloooooow-mooooo close-up of a tear rolling down Mia’s cheek, while “Pretty Boy” plays in the background. HEE! I’m sorry, it’s supposed to be sad, but the music is such crappy early 2000s pop that I can’t take it seriously. Mia gets up and walks to the library, where Blas is shelving books.
NOOO
NOOOOOOOOOOO
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
…well, that was horrific.
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