Cold open of the final scene of last episode. If they make me watch Blas and Mia make out again, I’ll cry. I’m a good person! I don’t deserve this!
The credits are back for this episode, what the fuck. Opening monologue: There are lots of different types of love; relationships where we make up after fights and mature, relationships based on arguing then making out, etc. We have to find out which one is ~real~ for us.
Blas and Mia make out. ICK, GROSS, WRONG. Blas breaks it off and asks what the hell she’s doing, and she stutters out that she thought he was hella into her? “No,” he says. And for a second I was like, “He’s being responsible and backing off from the underage girl, praise Jesus!” I should’ve known not to put so much faith in Blas. He continues: “It’s more than just a crush.” Yes, I’m sure he’s really fallen in love with the intellect and life experience that a 15-year-old girl brings to a relationship. “I didn’t know,” Mia says. Girl, how could you not know? He has the word “PREDATOR” practically tattooed on his forehead. Anyway, Blas shoots her down because she keeps ~playing games with his heart~, but when she’s fully committed to a gross statutory relationship, she can hit him up anytime. She has to do it quick, though, before she turns 18 and ages out of his perv bracket. Then he kisses her.
Continuing with our inappropriate teacher/student relationships, Tomás shows up at Lulu’s apartment building with some flowers. He rings her buzzer, and some guy comes to the door. Tomás is like, “Omg, Lulu is not FAITHFUL to me”, and the guy immediately picks up that Tomás doesn’t live there. He beats Tomás up. Hee. Poor dumb Tomás.
Pablo’s gone to hook up with Paula at her apartment for the third time. Third time’s the charm? Paula asks if they’ll do anything “different” tonight and I’m like, “You’re making out to ‘Fallin” yet again, so…it’s not looking like it.” Pablo starts unbuttoning her shirt, but then he hears Mansilla’s voice in his head, all like, “Remember who you are, Pablo…you must like the whole woman…not just her boobs…” Pablo pulls away from Pablo muttering, “I’m going to kill him.” Fucking Mansilla, making Pablo respect women. What a downer. Paula asks Pablo what he’s afraid of, and he says he doesn’t want to disappoint her (with his penis). She assures him he won’t (because she’s getting paid to deflower him), because she’s known him for two whole days and she’s crazy about him. They start making out again and sink down out of the frame, which I’m starting to think is this show’s shorthand for “they totally have sex.”
Meanwhile, Tomás returns to Pablo’s room. He emos about Lulu to Guido, and Joaquin wakes up and tells them to knock their little therapy session off. I totally forgot Joaquin still roomed with them. Tomás and Guido tell him to get out of their room, and Joaquin actually does it. HEE.
Mia’s room. She’s pouting over Blas when she gets an anonymous text telling her to go outside and look for a present in the garden/courtyard/those trees in front of the school. She and Vico refuse to go, but Feli is all excited over it for no real reason, and runs off to investigate. She brings back a box with a magazine clipping inside. The article is from 15 years ago, and it’s about a band called “Power.” Mia thinks, given the date, that was her mom’s band. A clue!
The next day, Pablo hasn’t returned to school, and Dunoff calls Tomás and Guido in to interrogate them. “I’m tired of being cursed by you guys!” he tells them. Heh. He’s all like, “This is serious, Pablo could’ve been kidnapped!” “Why, did they ask for a lot of money?” Guido says. HEE! Okay, occasionally Guido is funny. They say they’ll only tell Mansilla, because he never punishes anyone ever.
Luna and Mia walk and talk about Luna’s love drama. Luna says that her aunt really wants her to get with Matías and Mia’s like, “I mean, he is better looking than Nico.” Heh. On the other side of the hallway, Manuel convinces Nico to fight for Luna. Nico asks Luna if they can talk, and they go off while Manuel and Mia awkwardly stare at each other. “SHE’S DEAD TO ME,” Manuel voiceovers to himself. “HE DOESN’T EXIST,” thinks Mia. So dramatic!
Paula makes breakfast while “I’m Gonna Soak Up the Sun” plays in the background. For those of you who lost your virginity in the early 2000s, is this post-coital music or not? I feel like not, but it was a little before my time. Then Pablo comes down in his underwear, and says he feels like he’s up in the air. Cut Paula a check! Pablo suddenly remembers he’s still in high school and runs upstairs to put his pants back on. An excellent time for Mansilla to show up! Pablo comes back down for contrivance purposes, and Mansilla’s like, “They don’t pay me enough to pick up truants in their underwear.”
Nico and Luna try to talk it out, but they end up fighting again. Then Matías rolls up all, “What up guys, I am still the most attractive person on this show.” He tells Luna that Sandra called him, and suggests the three of them all hang out together. Not awkward at all! Although I’m thinking Matías probably really isn’t that into Luna, if he’s always inviting Nico to third wheel with them.
Vico and Mia spy on Joaquin. He’s outside surrounded by sycophants/potential buyers. Vico tells Mia she’s over him, and says Joaquin is the one who gave her the pill. Mia immediately is all like, “Drugs won’t solve any of your problems! You know what really solved everything? The power of our friendship!!!” I swear to God, she says this. “IT WAS ONE PILL,” Vico doesn’t say. Anyway, they note a couple of younger guys hovering near Joaquin’s circle, and Mia sniffs that they’re probably Joaquin’s future clientele. They decide to bring Joaquin down to preserve the innocence of Elite Way’s youth. They have to fight for the future!
Speaking of pills, Gloria’s popping some when Papa B storms in looking for Pablo. Gloria chokes and there’s some back-and-forth about whether or not she’s going to keel over and die, which she doesn’t. Mansilla comes in with Pablo and says they went off campus so Pablo could visit “a very sick childhood friend,” which is laying it on more than a little thick. Papa B is not pleased. I feel like he’ll get over it once he finds out Pablo was out losing his virginity? Or maybe not. His abusive goalpost-moving keeps us forever guessing!
Tomás is emoing in the cafeteria over Lulu. He’s all like, “BRING ME ANOTHER SMOOTHIE, CATA, I’M SAD!” Hee. He cries to her that no girls like him, and Cata’s like, “There are girls who like you! I mean, idk who they are, but you know, I’m sure they exist.” Also hee. Tomás is like, “Give me NAMES, fool!” and eventually gets desperate enough that he asks Cata out. Cata doesn’t love herself enough to say no. Tomás departs and Sandra observes that she doesn’t trust him. Cata’s like, “I spend all day serving these douchebags, in this ugly orange shirt. LET ME HAVE SOMETHING.”
Marcos gives Lujan his reply to “Marizza”‘s last email, and tells her that it’s SUPER PRIVATE and VERY PERSONAL. And yet, he has no reservations about forking it over Lujan. Oh, Marcos. Lujan reads the letter and whatever Marcos has written, she is not happy with it.
Pablo meets up with Tomás and Guido and is like, “Tomás, the fuck happened to your face.” Tomás tells him he got beat up and Pablo’s like, “By who, Lulu?” Heh. Pablo and Guido make fun of Tomás for going out with Cata, and tell him they can find him a way better date than her. Aaaand Cata’s getting stood up.
Mia and Lujan both call Sonia in a panic, and she shows up all, “Man, I have to do everything around here.” First up, Lujan. She shows Sonia Marcos’s letter, and I guess whatever he’s written must be ~SCANDALOUS~ because even Sonia’s like, “DUDE.” She reminds Lujan that they agreed to head Marcos off at the pass, but Lujan’s like, “BUT HE’S SO FRAGILE!” The way she says it, it sounds like she’s kind of into that. Sonia’s like, oh, well in that case, let’s dig ourselves deeper and have Marizza accept whatever Marcos is proposing! Problem solved! Now onto Mia: she cries to Sonia that Papa C is taking Mercedes on the trip with him, not her, and Sonia’s like, “THE MONSTER!” Mia’s so desperate that she prays and swears she’ll be Guido’s girlfriend if God stops Papa C from going to New York with Mercedes. My God, Mia, don’t martyr yourself that bad. Sonia calls Mercedes’s law firm and says she has a very rich, very important client who wants to work with Mercedes, that is if Mercedes is around to accept the job. With that accomplished, Mia shows Sonia the magazine clipping about Mama C’s band, and Sonia says she knew them. Gasp! She promises to try and find something out for Mia, because “[Mia has] a right to know about her.” I’m saying! Nevertheless, Sonia is suspicious of the anonymous sender. Fair enough, but it’s probably like, Peter.
Sonia leaves, and as they drive off, Pepa observes that Marizza wouldn’t like that Sonia’s helping Mia. “Just tell her you couldn’t find anything,” Pepa says. “You’re going to be reincarnated as a TOAD,” Sonia snaps. Hee. Frickin’ Pepa. Sonia says she wants to help Mia because she pities her, and because Marizza never needs her help. Aw.
Sandra’s making things awkward for everyone by announcing her thirst for Matías to the entire cafeteria. Then she’s like, “Oh, we’re out of oil! Luna, go show Matías where the supply room is!” Nico’s like, “Dang, why you gotta hurt me like this, Sandra.”
Teachers’ lounge. Pablo comes by and asks if Mansilla has a moment. “Of course I do, I exist only to dispense advice because I never have papers to grade or anything,” Mansilla doesn’t say. Pablo’s like, “Bro, you were totally right about like, women not being objects and stuff…it’s crazy. Why were you giving me good advice?” Mansilla says, “L’Oreal Because you’re worth it.” Pablo’s like, OMG, someone who CARES. An excellent time for Gloria to pop in, and cheerfully announce that Papa B reported Mansilla to the board, and now he’s in tons of trouble.
Vico’s playing pinball on the computer. HEE! The memories!
Joaquin rocks up to her, and she asks if he can get her more drugs. Like a TON of drugs. Joaquin’s like, for sure, but then Pilar comes in and breaks them up. Mama D sees Pilar drag Joaquin off, and is like, “I hope you’re not hanging out with him, because we expressly forbade that like two episodes ago.” Vico goes back to Mia’s room, and tells Mia and Feli that she just ordered a ton of drugs from Joaquin, and she’s going to trap him and get him busted selling them. Feli doesn’t want any part of it, until Mia’s like, “You’ll be a hero and bring all the boys to the yard!” Oh, Feli.
Sandra apologizes to Cata and says she’ll doll her up for her date with Tomás. Under the ugly uniform, Cata is cute and conventionally attractive, like everybody on this show. Sadly, Tomás is standing her up with some chick named Pamela(?), who Guido called from this notebook full of girls’ numbers that he has. Why and how does Guido have this notebook? I demand an explanation. Anyway, Cata is left alone, sadly cleaning the cafeteria in her date outfit. Mansilla rolls up and is like, “Whoa, who the FUCK stood Cata up.” Yeah, I don’t think he’s going to be covering for Tomás. Then Dunoff comes up and is like, “What up, Mansilla! The board is super pissed with you, and you’re probably going to get fired! Best day of my life!”
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