Am I only on episode 55? I love this dorky show, but I feel like I’ve been recapping it for literally ever. My fingers are going to fall off.
Previously on Rebelde Way: Pablo came back for good, and promptly shut down Marizza’s boner for Facundo. Blas stepped up his harassment of Lujan and Mia, and my God, even Mauro got fired faster than this. Papa C and Mercedes broke up, because she continued to be shocked that he like, had responsibilities to his teenage daughter. Lulu passive-aggressively flounced from the school. And Blas busted Manuel and Julieta making out, which I guess is a big deal? I find it hard to believe a boarding school full of teenagers has gone this long without incident, but whatever.
Opening monologue: The monologue this time is just a recitation of a Mario Benedetti poem. It’s nice to know this show is getting just as lazy as I am.
We open with Pablo in a mad rush to get Marizza to visit with his parents, as they’ve arrived with a gift for her. He bangs into her room and tries to make her come down, and she’s like, “Ha! What makes you think I’ll help you?” What? Come on, Pablo hasn’t been a douche for like six episodes. Granted, he was barely in any of them, but whatever. He begs her and says he’ll do whatever she wants. Yikes! With Marizza, that kind of open-ended deal can only end badly. Marizza says he owes her an apology, and he has to let her be in both bands and make out with Facundo whenever she wants. Pablo’s like, “If it’ll get you to deal with my abusive dad, then good enough.” Marizza has also decided to put a devil-horn headband on sometime between this episode and the last.
Marizza comes down and plays relatively nice with the Padres Bustamante. Their gift for her is…a bag? It’s kind of ugly, but it is bright orange, which seems to be Marizza’s (and Manuel’s) color of choice. What is with this show and orange? It’s not a bad color, but it doesn’t go with a lot. Unless the whole point of this show is to use clashing color schemes to communicate subliminal messages to South American teenagers. I’m getting carried away. Pleased that Pablo and Marizza are still fake-dating, Mama and Papa B ready for departure, but Marizza pulls Papa B aside and asks if Pablo had mumps as a child. He’s not sick or anything, but she’s read that childhood mumps is related to testicular problems in the teenage years, and Pablo’s having some issues in that area, you feel? Papa B is like, “My son is not a PARAGON of MANHOOD?” and storms off. Marizza is smug.
The next day, in chem class. The characters have referred to it as chemistry a few times, so that’s definitely what it is, albeit a chem class with a bizarre side focus on physics. The original chem teacher has disappeared and been replaced by a new one for no reason I can see.
I mean, the original teacher was terrible, but where did this lady come from?
The new chem teacher passes back everyone’s quizzes, except Marcos’s. He asks where his paper is, and she snaps that what he turned in wasn’t a quiz, it was a DISGRACE. O! Kay! She’s referring to him drawing the Rolling Stones logo on his paper, except while that might’ve been the same sub (I don’t have any screencaps), I do remember that definitely took place in the regular classroom, so it couldn’t have been chem homework. Whatever, I know nitpicking this show’s continuity is an exercise in futility. Everyone’s all like, “Oh snap, Marcos was REBELDE?”
Meanwhile, Mia’s tattling to Blas has gotten Manuel in trouble. Dunoff’s all worried that Manuel’s ruined Julieta’s virtue or whatever, and Manuel protests that he just got carried away. He’s in love! Surely Dunoff knows how that feels, seeing as he can’t resist the urge to shove his face into Sonia’s cleavage whenever she’s around. Just kidding, not that last part. Sandra, who’s there in her capacity as Manuel’s guardian, says that Manuel is a model student and they can’t kick out such a good kid. Dunoff’s like, you’d think a 17-year-old model student would make it past sophomore year. Also kidding. Nevertheless, Sandra makes eyes at him and Dunoff promises to rethink the expulsion part of Manuel’s punishment. As he leaves, Manuel wibbles to Sandra that it’s been so long since he’s had a parental figure to take care of him. Well, maybe you should call your mom, Manuel. She’s still alive, you’ve just like, forgotten she exists!
After class, Mia and her sycophants walk down the hallway. Feli chatters on that she heard that they might expel Manuel. Feli’s a little weird in this episode — you’d think she’d be upset that they’re kicking Manuel out, but basically her only role in her scenes is to overexcitedly impart gossip to everyone else. It’s weird. Anyway, Mia’s like, “Hold up, I just wanted to get him and his girlfriend in trouble, I still need him around to have sexual tension with.” She calls Papa C to intervene, but Peter takes a message for her. “Just tell him that it’s VERY IMPORTANT!” she shrieks. God, I hate people who leave messages like that. Say what your call’s about! It makes everyone’s work much easier! Anyway.
Mansilla meets Lulu at some cafe somewhere. It’s outdoors, which makes the dialogue a little hard to hear. Essentially, Mansilla wants to know why she took her leave from the school (the rest of the episode implies Lulu put in her own request; the girls didn’t make her leave), and asks if it’s because of “the girls.” “They’re not girls, they’re snitches!” she says. Mansilla’s like, “If you couldn’t handle a bunch of teenage girls, that’s your problem.” Dang. He’s not wrong, though. He’s like, I am Mansilla, Boy Detective, and we’re gonna sit down and figure out what you did to piss them off so much. Lulu’s like, “Do I have a choice?” Don’t be silly, Lulu, of course you don’t.
Gym. All the girls are waiting for their new dance teacher, when Gloria comes in. She’s not the new dance teacher, don’t worry. Although that would be hilarious. She tells Mia that she went out with Papa C, and all he did was talk about school and Mia. It’s almost like he doesn’t have a crush on her at all! Mia tells Gloria that Papa C’s just shy, and Gloria snips that he better be, or she’s going to passive-aggressively torture Mia even more. Way to not abuse your power, Gloria! All the girls are excited that they’ve successfully driven Lulu off.
Meanwhile, in the cafeteria, the boys are not. Someone mentions that they’re getting a new dance teacher, and they all gasp in shock. “It can’t be!” Pablo says. What? Pablo’s not even in the dance group! “Maybe she’ll be hotter than Lulu,” one of them suggests. “NOBODY IS HOTTER THAN LULU!!!!” Tomás shrieks. Heh. They all scramble off to the gym and horrified to see that the new dance teacher is MIDDLE-AGED and CHUBBY. She’s not fuckable at all! Who allowed her to exist! She notices the boys and snaps at them to start doing leg lifts, to their chagrin. I like her already! The boys, of course, are not into this. It’s almost like they don’t want to be in dance group if they can’t perv on the teacher. Hmm.
Afterwards, everyone whines that practice was too strenuous and they’re all in pain. Were they not expecting to work out during dance class? Anyway, Erreway meets up by their lockers and Marizza tells them that Pablo’s agreed to let her be in both bands. Pablo, however, has decided to add some conditions: Marizza has to commit to Erreway’s performance obligations, and if she misses a single rehearsal, she’s out. Marizza’s all offended, but everyone else, even Nico and Manuel, back Pablo up. Lujan hears the siren call of her lady love and shows up out of nowhere to defend her, but Pablo remarks that he’s merely trying to keep the band together.
Literally in one frame it’s the five of them and the next, Lujan is there. A LITTLE WEIRD.
Papa B and Mama B are still rolling around town in his car. I’m not saying they always have to be in their house, but they could borrow any of the eighty cafes they’ve used up to this point. Anyway, Papa B calls his doctor and make an appointment for Pablo to have his testicles checked out. Not awkward at all! Mama B remarks that Papa B can’t go messing around in Pablo’s sex life, and Papa B snaps that if Pablo’s impotent, it reflects badly on Papa B…somehow. He wonders if Pablo needs help getting it up, maybe he should hire a prostitute? Dude! That escalated quickly! Mama B’s like, that is the grossest idea I’ve ever heard, but Papa B’s like, “Stop saying words, woman.”
Papa C responds to Mia’s urgent and not at all specific call. She tells him that they’re going to kick Manuel out of school and Papa C needs to save him. Papa C’s like, “You want me to STOP them from kicking Manuel out of school?” Mia BSes that she feels bad for Manuel; he’s a total charity case and this school is probably the best thing that’s ever happened to him (sad if that’s true!), and it’s not because she likes him because she TOTALLY DOESN’T, so there. Papa C’s like, “Aw, my daughter’s turning into such a good person!” Mia lays it on even thicker and apologizes for not wanting to meet Mercedes; she’d be happy to come to dinner with Mercedes and Manuel now! Papa C sadly says that he and Mercedes broke up. Mia comforts him, and then as he leaves, smirks to herself. Oh, Mia. When I say you’re the least sociopathic of these kids, I’m clearly grading on a curve.
Meanwhile, Marizza, Luna, and Lujan hang out together in the hall. Camila Bordonaba looks a lot older in this scene for some reason. I can’t even put my finger on it, but it’s like she lost all her baby fat around her chin and cheeks in the space of five minutes.
Marizza tells them she hopes Nacho comes through for her, because he’s her last chance at getting out of the Italian trip. If Nacho is your last hope, I don’t know what to tell you. Lujan tells her he’ll come through, because that kid has balls. Blas overhears this and swoops in to yell at her for her language, and adds some insults about her hair and gum-chewing while he’s at it. In revenge, Marizza takes Lujan’s gum and shoves it in Blas’s hair. Heh. It doesn’t get brought up again, so I assume he’s just walking around for the rest of the episode like that.
Dunoff’s office. Papa C is like, “I will PERSONALLY ensure that Manuel never makes out with anyone on the school grounds ever again ever!” Good luck with that, Papa C. He doesn’t even last to the end of this episode. Then Julieta barges in and is like, “You can’t expel Manuel, being his girlfriend is the only way I get any lines!” She snaps that she WANTED Manuel to take her sweater off in the cabinet under the stairs, so they can’t expel him for ruining her virtue or whatever. Dunoff’s like, oh well that makes perfect sense, I guess he can stay. Like anyone ever believed Manuel was getting expelled. They already used that card with Vico thirty episodes ago. And by the way, how come the discipline at this school always goes straight to expulsion? They don’t have detention?
Cafeteria. Marcos is sitting with Marizza and Lujan, who are messing with his uniform and telling him how hot he looks without his classes. And nobody was surprised. (Which, for what it’s worth, I think Diego Garcia [Marcos] and Coco Maggio [Tomás] were probably the most conventionally attractive of the main male cast. Benjamin Rojas was really cute as a teen/young adult, but he hasn’t aged so well.) Gloria comes in and tells Marcos that his father’s here to see him about his recent ~rebeldía~, so he skedaddles off to the office. Lujan watches him go and sighs. Marizza, displaying some awareness of someone other than herself for once, asks if Lujan has a thing for Marcos. Lujan immediately flips out. WHAT A RIDICULOUS AND FRANKLY OFFENSIVE SUGGESTION! SHE WOULD NEVER! Marizza’s like, “Oookay.”
Marcos heads off to meet his dad, and I should mention that he got a haircut, although I think that’s obvious from the screencap. I don’t know, he had to cut his hair eventually, but it’s a little too short? It always looks a little stiff, like he just gelled it or something. Whatever. Papa Aguilar’s all like, “I can’t believe you fucked up one quiz! You’ll never bring honor to us all!” Marcos is like, “Well, I’m not sorry. How’s THAT for REBELDE?” Papa Aguilar says he has to apologize, and Marcos snaps, “For getting a bad grade, or because I exist?” Burn! Papa Aguilar’s all taken aback, and Marcos chickens out and says he’s sorry. Oh, Marcos.
Pablo’s gang hangs out in the hallway and hassles Manuel as he walks by, all “Go back to Mexico!” I can’t believe this show predicted in the 2016 U.S. presidential race. Just then, Papa C finds Manuel and tells him he saved him from expulsion, but he and Julieta gotta cool their hormones down. Manuel’s like, “For sure,” then immediately turns around and starts making out with Julieta. Papa B catches up to Pablo in the hall and drags him off to the doctor. They see Manuel and Julieta celebrating Manuel’s not-expulsion the only way they know how, by playing tonsil hockey. Papa B’s like, “Where’s YOUR girlfriend, and why haven’t you gotten past first base with her?” Pablo’s like, “Well, she’s off like…doing extracurriculars…and having a life separate from mine…” and Papa B’s like, “Haha, those silly women can’t have lives away from their men!” Not in so many words.
(“What does that Mexican have that I don’t?” Tomás sighs, watching Julieta. I mean, I love Tomás, but Manuel is much smarter than him, you gotta admit.)
Speaking of Marizza, she’s still hanging out with Lujan, although Belen has also joined them. Belen complains that the new dance teacher is even worse than Lulu, which I was finding hard to believe until I remembered that Belen said it, and the opinions of tertiary characters don’t count. Belen runs off to wherever the unimportant characters languish between scenes, and Marizza confesses to Lujan that she’s scared that she’ll end up going to Italy after all. Lujan says that Marizza’s never been scared of anything before, and they’ll figure something out. Then she switches subjects and asks Marizza what one might do if one, hypothetically, liked a boy that one went to school with. If one were to go to school, of course. Marizza’s like, “Dude, you’ve never had a crush before?” and Lujan’s like, “Hello, how was I supposed to meet guys when I was a HOMELESS ORPHAN.”
This next scene is absolutely horrible. It’s icky. I felt a little grossed out after I watched it. Blas finds another anonymous love note in the teachers’ lounge, and decides to bring it to Mia. He points out that it’s signed “MC”, but she denies writing it. She says it’s probably someone trying to get her in trouble, and then Blas leans in close and asks why this would get her in trouble. “It’s not a sin to be in love with a teacher…much less a teacher who’s also in love with you.”
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!!!!!!!!
Okay, I think I have my complete revulsion of Blas under control for the moment. Mia looks genuinely scared, and I think this would be an actually good representation of girls being creeped on by authority figures if she and Blas didn’t legitimately hook up later. I have to ration my gifs, because I know I’m going to be screaming internally for the entirety of that subplot. Thankfully, Papa C rocks up and saves Mia from her pervy teacher. Blas leaves, and Papa C looks perturbed. As you should, Papa C!
STEP AWAY FROM THE UNDERAGE GIRLS.
Sonia arrives just as Papa C’s leaving, and they exchange jabs as he goes. Mia comes down and tells Sonia that Papa C and Mercedes broke up. She’s so happy! However happy Mia is, Sonia’s even happier, to the point that Mia squints suspiciously at her.
History class. Hilda’s back, and she tells the class that she was suspended because she fucked up, and she knows that now. Fernanda offers to hand back everyone’s papers when Hilda calls for volunteers. I don’t know if that’s meant to signify that everyone’s cool with Hilda now, or if they’re just giving the actress something to do. Anyway, when Hilda catches Vico on her phone, she politely asks her to put the phone away instead of tearing her a new one. Predictably, being nice doesn’t get Hilda anywhere, and Vico goes on sexting Joaquin. Pilar notices, too, and asks Vico who she’s talking to. Vico motions to Mia.
The Bustamantes’ doctor meets up with Papa B at some cafe. What? I know they have a hospital-ish set that they’re not using. (In fact, they have two, if anyone remembers when Feli was in the school infirmary.) The doctor says that all appears well, although he can’t know if Pablo’s really having issues performing, penis-wise, as he’s not sexually active yet. Papa B’s like, “My 15-year-old son is a virgin? I AM APPALLED!” He’s like, what do you think I should do? Hookers and blow, y/y? Papa B’s really on a roll with this prostitute idea, isn’t he? The doctor’s like, “…man, I’m just here to make sure he doesn’t have the clap or some shit.”
After class, Joaquin waits for Vico at one end of the hall, while Mia waits for the other. Vico dramatically looks between them. After a suspenseful (I guess) pause, she chooses Mia. They try to talk out what happened with the two of them and Feli, and Vico immediately pins the blame on Feli for dating Augusto. Mia says that Vico should look at her own actions, which Vico does not like at all. “And now you’re messing with Joaquin! I’m right, aren’t I?” she asks. Man, Mia is a good girl detective. She’s like, “So you’re dating this douchebag just because he buys you things? Why don’t you have any respect for yourself?” I mean, she’s not wrong. Vico snaps that Mia wouldn’t know what Vico’s feeling, because Mia is rich and has everything she wants. She storms off and Blas, overhearing their fight, tries to swoop in to take advantage of Mia’s emotional vulnerability right now. Thankfully, she tells him their fight is between her and Vico and Blas can fuck off. God, I love Mia.
Dunoff’s office. He’s like dang, they’ve already chased away the new dance teacher. I guess she was too ugly to be on this show for an entire episode. Lulu waltzes in and says she’s ready to come back. Man, her flounce didn’t even last half the episode. Dunoff says she can teach again, but this time, the boys are forbidden from partaking in dance group. That doesn’t seem fair either? What if there were boys who really do want to dance? I mean, I know there aren’t because we’ve seen literally all of them perv over Lulu but like, hypothetically. Lulu seems to accept this, and she goes and apologizes to the girls. They all look sympathetic-slash-bored, so…I think that’s a look of forgiveness? Except maybe Mia, who still looks pissed. They all dance to “Bonita de más”, so I’m guessing all’s well. Unless they’re angrily dancing. It’s hard to tell.
Sonia thanks Dunoff for recommending Dr. Aguirre to her, and Dunoff’s like, “I’d love to take credit for anything that gets me on your good side, but I’m not smart enough to pretend I know what you’re talking about.” Suspicious, Sonia goes back to her theater and invites Dr. Aguirre over. She gives him a briefcase as a gift and coos over all the help he’s given her. Dr. Aguirre tells her she doesn’t have to give him gifts; he’s helping her as a favor to Dunoff. Sonia’s like, “We both know that’s a lie. Will leaning in really close to you help?” Dr. Aguirre’s like, “For sure, Franco Colucci actually sent me.” Sonia: “CULOCCI?!”
Mia looks at pictures of her and Vico in the not-library and cries. Julieta and Manuel walk by, and Manuel’s like, “Omg, she has FEELINGS.”
Hallway. Pablo’s trying to hit on some rando. She’s like, “Don’t you go out with Marizza?” and he’s like, “Pfft, barely.” Marizza ovehears this and comes storming up to yell at him. The rando skedaddles, and Pablo’s like, “Hello, we are FAKE dating. How come you get to go out with Facundo and I can’t date some girl who’s not even a tertiary character?” Marizza blusters that Facundo is different because he doesn’t go to Elite Way, and Pablo’s like, “Fine, let’s just fake break up!” Marizza’s like, “Fine, but we aren’t pretending to date in front of your parents anymore either!” Pablo’s like, “Whoa hold up,” but she snips that Pablo’s the expert at going back on deals. Pablo is not pleased. It’s hard to tell, by the way, if Marizza threw salt all over Pablo’s game just to mess with him, or if she genuinely doesn’t want him dating anyone else. A little bit of both, maybe. She definitely seems really thrown by the Facundo question.
Feli loses her voice, so Mia has to go to band practice for her. I’m guessing this contrivance comes about by way of Pablo’s one strike rule, although I was under the impression it only applied to Marizza. Anyway, Mia shows up in her stead and starts singing “Pretty Boy” with Manuel accompanying her. I like Luisana Lopilato, but you can tell they messed with her voice to make her sound better. Anyway, she sings a couple of lines while sneaking looks at Manuel, and eventually wails “I CAN’T” and runs away. Everyone stares after her like, “…she wrote that song, what’s her deal?” Manuel runs after her, and Marizza’s like, “Welp, if we’re not rehearsing, I’m out.” Pablo and Nico are left standing there. “That was the shortest rehearsal ever,” Nico deadpans. Heh.
Manuel walks outside the sad trailer to see Mia crying. He comforts her and asks what’s wrong, and she eventually gets out that she likes a boy who doesn’t like her back, and everything’s going wrong. Manuel says the guy she likes must be crazy, because Mia’s not really that bad, underneath it all. Like now! “You’re so fragile when you cry. It makes me want to take care of you,” he tells her. Then they make out. Weird! I mean, I’m glad they finally kissed again, but WEIRD.
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