Previously on Rebelde Way: Tomás tried to quit Joaquin’s drug trade, then Joaquin was like, “No” and Tomás was like, “K.” Nico’s family troubles continued. Mia and Marizza got into a fight, again some more. They might be suspended! I won’t hold my breath for actual consequences on this show, though.
No cold open this time, we’re back to acknowledging that this is barely a TV show. Straight into the opening monologue: Sometimes we get angry and fight, but we can recognize that we’re still friends and remember the good times.
Dunoff’s office. Papa C and Sonia are fighting, and Papa C wants the Rey-Spiritos to never darken the doorway of Elite Way ever again, etc. They’re about to rumble when Mansilla comes in and breaks it up, as he always has to. Sonia shrieks that Papa C is a liar and a douchebag, plus he seduced her lawyer! Papa C’s like what and Mia’s like WHAT. Sonia’s like, “Yeah, he is the worst. What if I kick THEM out? What publicity for this escuela!” That’s too much for Mia, who loses it and snaps, “It’s a COLEGIO!” Hee! Mansilla’s like, “Okay, hold up, let’s try to work this out before we expel anyone from this escuela…colegio…whatever.” Heh. Marizza barks that she wanted Mia to feel what Nico felt re: thinking her dad was dying. Sonia’s like, “How noble, how amoizing!” Mia says she thought Manuel was going to run off with the money, and Papa C’s all shocked like, “How could you think such a thing!” Mia gets super uncomfortable and apologizes. As usual, nobody believes Mia about Manuel being a total weirdo. Mansilla says that Marizza also behaved badly; she thought about Nico’s feelings but not about how thinking her dad was dead would make Mia feel. Run away with me, Mansilla! Mansilla asks if Papa C and Sonia would be willing to have some parent-teacher conferences with him to work out everyone’s issues, and they’re all horrified at the thought of spending time together.
Pool table. Joaquin sees Tomás and Guido having a chuckle together and is like, “Oh, I bet you’re talking about ME being GAY.” They’re like, “No, but we are talking about you banging Pilar!” Joaquin’s like, “Dang, that’s even more embarrassing!” and hauls off to go yell at Pilar. He’s all like who did you tell!!! I will kill the writer of this newspaper!!! Pilar’s like, YIKES.
Cafeteria. Nico’s all crying over leaving Elite Way and Luna’s like, “You gotta fight for your right to attend this crappy school!” Nico cries that he came to Elite Way because he wanted to ~be~ somebody, and now his dream is DEAD. Not in so many words. Luna’s like, “Hey, you have plenty going on here. You have lots of friends, plus a girl who’s super into you, if ya get my drift.” Nico completely slides by that and is all, “I gave up my family, I gave up WHO I AM.” Chill out, Nico. Luna’s like, “But if you leave you’ll just fuck up again at a new school.” Nico’s like, dang, that’s true, and they stroke each other’s faces and make out.
Mia catches Feli going through her clothes, and cutely tells Feli that she can borrow whatever she wants whenever. Feli tells Mia that she’s going out with Augusto, but Mia has to keep this TOP SECRET. You know it’s serious because “Bootylicious” starts playing quietly in the background.
Nico frets to Manuel and Marcos about leaving the school, and Manuel’s like, “What about being a man and shit” and Nico’s like, “I’m backpedaling, you know how I do.” Marcos raises his hand: “Can I say something?” My God, Marcos, this isn’t class, you don’t gotta ask permission to speak from frickin’ Manuel. Anyway, Marcos is like, “People were laughing at you anyway, your being Jewish doesn’t make a difference .” Helpful! Then Papa C comes in and Nico starts groveling and telling him that he’ll pay him back (so Papa C doesn’t set him up with a pair of cement boots) and Papa C’s all like, “Nah man I just want your dad to get better, and also to apologize for my daughter being a dick.” Nico thanks him and Papa C says, “Don’t thank me, thank Manuel.” For some reason? Papa C leaves and Nico’s like, “Why do you wanna kill him, he seems super nice!” Manuel crazies that Papa C only SEEMS nice, and he probably helped save Nico’s dad because he killed Manuel’s, or some crazyland logic like that. Nico’s like, “Oooookay.”
Mia catches up to Papa C as he leaves and is like, “I have come to apologize (it wasn’t really my fault though).” Papa C tells her she has to apologize to Nico and probably Manuel, and also that she really has to stop blaming other people for her issues. Mia changes the subject and wails that she never wants anything to ever happen to Papa C, and also what’s this about him dating Sonia’s lawyer? Papa C denies it, and Mia makes him promise that he won’t. He’s like, “I would never!”
Teachers’ lounge. Mansilla and Dunoff chit-chat about how they have to demonstrate the importance of the administration to the parents, since they’re running around and getting into fights with each other constantly. The econ teacher’s been sitting there and randomly scurries off in the middle of the conversation. Mansilla says that the parents are actually not their biggest problem right now, and shows him the pill he picked up from Hilda last episode. He’s like, “Hilda said it wasn’t hers, ergo, there are DRUGS on campus!” Oh, I thought the show was implying that Hilda was sick and lonely and lying about her life, but I guess not. Anyway, Dunoff’s like, “Yeah, drugs don’t exist here. Let’s pretend this isn’t happening.” Oh, Dunoff.
Joaquin catches up to Tomás in the cafeteria and is like, “Tomás! Why are you avoiding me and my drugs!” This is like the only thing Joaquin does anymore, isn’t it? He drags Tomás off and gives him more pills to sell. Then Pilar rocks up and Tomás hella unsubtly shoves the pills into his bag. Pilar’s like, “Omg, you’re still dealing drugs! You lied to me!” Joaquin’s like, “No way, I totally told the truth, I’m just outsourcing to Tomás now!” Pilar is uneasy, but Joaquin’s like, “Only a tattletale would tell Dunoff about this!” As usual, this shuts Pilar up.
By the way, Pablo is Sir Not Appearing in This Episode this time around. At one point Guido and Tomás remark that he’s off taking photos for Papa B’s mayoral campaign.
Marizza, Luna, and Lujan plot more revenge on Blas. Marizza tells them that she saw a briefcase in his car when she keyed it, and they plot to steal it.
It’s suddenly nighttime, except it goes right back to being daytime the scene after this. Metaphor or crappy continuity? You decide! Anyway, Peter comes to bring Mia a box of chocolates she ordered as an apology gift, and she starts flipping out that Papa C isn’t going to New York like usual: he might be sick! Or dying! Peter’s like no, no, he’s not at work or home, but it’s TOTALLY NOT because he’s sick. Mia’s like, “What?” and Peter’s like, “Oh, well, if you insist! Let’s gossip!” Oh, Peter. He tells Mia that Papa C is on a date with a totally hot lawyer lady. Shock! He totally did that thing he said he wasn’t going to do!
Classroom. Mia gives the chocolates to Nico and is v. cute about it. God, I love her. Manuel is a total dick and is like, “You wanna give chocolate to the guy who just had an operation, what are you, dumb?” Nico shows some social grace and saves the situation, bless him. Seriously, was Manuel raised by wolves? After Mia leaves, Nico’s like, “Dang, she’s actually trying to be nice, what’s your deal?” and Manuel’s like, “SHE’S EVIL!!!” Anyway, Nico has no idea how to get the chocolates to his dad, seeing as his mom is acting super weird. The econ teacher rolls in and Marizza volunteers that Lujan’s going to be late for class because she’s not feeling well. Econ teacher gives them a quiz and leaves the classroom to go tattle on Mansilla. In reality, Lujan’s skipping class to steal Blas’s briefcase. In the teachers’ lounge, Lujan finds it right away because his name is on it. Who labels their briefcase? Would anything even happen if someone took it, since it’s not like Blas does any work here. Anyway, predictably she nearly gets caught and has to hide when Dunoff and the econ teacher come in. Econ teacher shows Dunoff Pablo’s blank essay and is like, “Mansilla gave him a 7 anyway! Corruption! Favoritism!” Dunoff’s like, “Those are the founding principles of our school, what’s the deal?” Econ teacher’s like, “I’m just sayin’, if you suspended Hilda, you should probably suspend him too, JUST MY OPINION.” Lujan is perturbed.
“Mansilla is the closest thing to a competent teacher we have! WHAT DO.”
Mercedes goes to visit Sonia and gives her a check from Papa C. She’s like, idk why he paid it, you crazy. Sonia’s all offended.
Mansilla goes to visit Hilda for some reason. The janitor guy at her apartment building is somehow all up in her life and tells Mansilla that she totally doesn’t have any kids or grandkids, she lives alone and no one ever visits her, it’s hella sad. Mansilla’s like, “Dang…everything is lies…did not see that coming.”
Mia texts Sonia to come visit her at the school, for some reason. Then she tells Feli that they’re going to have a girls’ day to prepare for Feli’s date. For some reason she wrote all her plans down in a letter, and Feli goes to read it in some hallway. She gets all twitterpated and runs off, then Vico rises creepily from the corner. But like…I don’t think Feli was reading that out loud?
Cafeteria. Lujan tells Marizza and Manuel that the econ teacher is trying to kick Mansilla out of school. They’re all appalled, but Manuel and Lujan admit that there’s not a lot they can do about it. “What do you mean, there’s nothing we can do?” Marizza snaps. “Oh my Mexican God,” Manuel says. Even Lujan kind of rolls her eyes. Heh. Nevertheless, they decide to steal the Declaration of Independence the paper so the econ teacher won’t have any proof.
Luna and Nico are emoing together in the gym. He wails that he doesn’t know why his mom is so angry, and Luna’s like, “Idk, let’s make out.” Then Tatiana shows up! She’s all like, “OH, I see you’re BUSY.” Nico’s like, yikes. Nico finally finds out that his mom is pissed at him because his letter revealed that he was hiding his Judaism. Tatiana kind of makes it all about her, shrieking that she’s mad too, because Nico is ashamed of their people and also he has a crush on Luna. What the hell, Tatiana. Then for some reason they move all their drama to the cafeteria, and Luna asks Sandra to do her a favor, re: Nico. “Sure!” Sandra chirps. “What do you want me to hit him with?” Hee. No, Luna wants her to give Nico permission to leave the school so he can go to the clinic. Sandra’s like, y u always gotta martyr yourself like this, but she agrees. She strokes Dunoff’s ego (“Your handwriting looks like Churchill’s and Lincoln’s!”) until he lets her sign as Nico’s guardian. Heh.
Office. Gloria’s doodling a Gloria + Papa C heart. That’s HILARIOUS.
Does she even know Papa C’s first name?
Manuel rolls in and starts dancing around trying to distract her. Then Dunoff comes in and calls Gloria into his office and Manuel takes the opportunity to slip into the teachers’ lounge and jack Pablo’s essay. What was he planning to do if Dunoff hadn’t come in? As he’s slipping out, he hears Sonia arrive and meet Mia. The two of them are all squealing over each other, which is weird because I thought they (or at least their families) were fighting, but whatever. Manuel goes back to the cafeteria and is all like, “I used my charm and dance skills to distract Gloria away from her desk and got the paper! Oh, and Marizza, your mom’s here with Mia, idk what’s up with that.” Marizza flips out and runs off to find them.
Vico find Mia’s folder in the classroom and is all horrified to see Feli is going on a date with Augusto. She decides that clearly the only thing to do is fuck shit up: she finds Feli and tells her that Augusto only asked her out because Mia told him to, just like she did with Guido. Feli cries.
Meanwhile, Mia is trying to get the details on Mercedes from Sonia. Sonia’s all like, she’s an evil hag and idk how old she is but SHE COULD BE MY MOTHER! Most important: “Is she pretty?” “Nope,” Sonia says. Mia wails that Papa C promised her he wasn’t dating Mercedes, and Sonia’s just like, “Oh well, your dad’s a liar, deal with it.” Oh, Sonia.
Papa C and Mercedes come back from their not-date and Papa C’s all like, dang, I am into her. He makes Peter promise not to tell Mia anything about it, though, and Peter’s all like, “For sure!” Even though he already did? Come on, Peter.
Somewhere in the yard, Hilda is still on that bench. She’s hella sad about how she likes to sit alone out there in the early morning before she starts teaching, which is her absolute favorite thing to do, woe is her! Mansilla’s like, “Okay, you can help me grade papers instead of being depressing on this bench, yikes.” On their way inside, they pass two guys coming out and acting generally suspicious. Guy 1 gives Guy 2 some pills and Guy 1 derps, “What are these?” That drags the exchange out long enough for Mansilla to swoop in and catch them. They tell him they got the pills from Joaquin.
Marizza catches up to Sonia as she leaves and shrieks at her not to hang out with Mia anymore. If Sonia hangs out with Marizza’s enemy, then Sonia is also Marizza’s enemy! Slow down, George W. Bush. Sonia tells her that Mia’s a nice girl, deep down, and not everything is so black-and-white. “It is for me,” Marizza snaps. Sonia’s like, well in that case it’s been chill, see ya later. Marizza fumes.
Manuel and Lujan catch up to Mansilla in the hallway and lamely try to warn him about Dunoff and the econ teacher. They try to tell him what’s up for about five seconds, then they see Dunoff and the econ teacher wayyy at the other end of the hall and are like, “Whoops, gotta go.” I hate to say it, but Marizza wouldn’t have punked out like that. Anyway, the econ teacher and Dunoff are all threateny and smug while Manuel and Lujan try to tell Mansilla what’s going on via vague hand gestures. Eventually he figures it out and asks to see the paper, only for the econ teacher to find that it’s gone missing. Hijinks!
Feli predictably flips out on Mia about Augusto and tells her that she can’t sit at Feli’s lunch table anymore, or whatever.
Nico finds his mom at the same cafe Joaquin and Marizza were on a date at once. He tries to explain everything to her, but she’s all like, “I get it, you’re ashamed of being Jewish and you don’t love your family, it’s TOTALLY FINE.” Nico begs forgiveness and she’s like, “Fine, I’ll forgive you if you never go back to that school ever again.” Way to guilt trip, Mama Provenza!
Dunoff’s office. Mansilla tells him about the kids he caught buying drugs, and Dunoff’s like, “Yikes, this is not good for our image.” Mansilla’s like, “Or…for the kids…” and Dunoff’s like, “Stop saying words.” Joaquin rocks in and Dunoff asks if he gave drugs to some senior guys. Joaquin’s like, “Nah man, he said it was me but it was totally TOMÁS EZCURRA.” Well, I didn’t see that one coming!
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