We pick up where we left off, with Mia and her friends getting busted delivering clothes to the poor. No good deed and all of that. This is on account of Sol, who’s spying for the principal and trying to steal Manuel, for no real reason other than to fuck with Mia. He invites them into the house, which is really just like…a smaller…entry house? And they walk through that, then through another courtyard, and then they enter the charity building. What? I don’t know, man. There’s a bunch of news cameras there, and Font jumps in front of them to take credit for the idea of giving to charity. Mia is mad, but he merely snips that if she wants credit for sneaking out of school, then he’ll have to expel her. Then the reporters want to get some shots of the clothes, and Mia’s like, “…holy shit, those are all of my clothes.” She covers, though, and chirps to the camera that she hopes the less fortunate enjoy her Versace outfits. God, I love her.
Back at school, Manuel and Sol conveniently happen to be watching the news. You know how much teenagers love current events! This local human interest piece also just happens to be being filmed live, and Manuel sees Mia giving away her clothes. He feels like a dick, as he should. Sol lies Font made Mia donate her clothes if she wasn’t gonna throw them away, but Manuel looks slightly less inclined to believe this random chick over his girlfriend this time. Still, he’s nice to Sol about the “misunderstanding” and she starts draping herself all over him while cooing that he’s a prince among men. Marizza spies them from across the not-library, and she’s like, “What the fuck?”
Lola, meanwhile, is on her ill-advised date with Francisco. He lets it slip that he was here with Laura, and Lola is like, “WHY?” “Because…we’re friends?” Francisco says. Oh my God, Francisco, how do you not see what’s going on here. Lola gets mad that he’s friends with her sister, but she’s all in love with him now, so she agrees when he tells her that they need to make up.
The next day. Marizza tells Mia that she saw Manuel and Sol together, which — you know, I would say Marizza’s interference is unfortunate because Manuel’s probably on his way to apologize to Mia, but the chances of him turning around and letting Sol climb him like a tree again anyway are so high, it doesn’t really matter. Let her know the truth, Marizza! Mia frets to Feli and Vico whether or not she should believe Marizza — Vico’s like, “A guy is being an asshole? Sounds legit.” Heh. I love man-hating Vico. Feli, on the other hand, still hates Marizza because of her douchey behavior last year, and supports Manuel. “Do you really think Manuel would do something bad on purpose?” she asks Mia. Feli, have you met Manuel?
Blas is setting up a camera in Font’s office, while Font sucks up to Etchamendi on the phone. He’s learning so quickly! Font makes Blas take an ~official photo~ of him, and he’s like, “I should really redecorate, what do you think? Doesn’t every office need a gigantic photo of the principal in it?” Blas is like, “Yes, you need something to show that you are POWERFUL and OMNIPOTENT and ERECT.”
Blas leaves and Sol waltzes in. In thanks for her snitching, Font gives her a dress. And then! AND THEN! He tells her to put it on, and then lingers for an uncomfortably long time before saying, “Oh! I’ll leave so you can get changed!” Ew! He thought she was gonna put it on in front of him? He wants her to model it for him in the first place? RUN, SOL. He comes back in and pervs that she could be a model, and Sol’s dumb ass chirps that modeling is her dream. Font tells her that his friend is a modeling agent (noooo) and if she needs photos for her book, what a coincidence, he has a camera right here! (NOOOOOOOOO!)
This is so, so horrendous, I think particularly because it’s actually pretty realistic, and you can tell Sol is deeply uncomfortable. I am screaming forever.
Lola and Bianca hang out in the laundry room, playing with Chopy. Lola gushes to Bianca about Francisco, and decides that she’ll try to make nice with Laura, since Francisco asked her to and all. “Because a boy told me to” is always the best reason to do anything. Nevertheless, Lola admits that deep, deep down she loves her sister, and she’ll try being nice to her. Then some rando with glasses — one of the guys who Feli was imagining hitting on her — rolls in and starts nerding out that he’s trying to get to know the school. Nobody’s ever gonna drag this mouth breather into the laundry room, so he doesn’t have to know where it is, really. They almost manage to get him out of the room, but then Bianca’s dumb ass decides to turn around while holding Chopy. Random Nerd badly overacts that having pets is against the school rules, and he just doesn’t know if he should tattle on them or not. “What, are you going to stop me?” he asks. “She won’t,” Francisco says, rocking up behind him. “BUT I WILL.” Yeah! You beat up those nerds for their lunch money, Francisco.
Mia rocks up to Manuel and says that they have to talk. “Good, because I have something to tell you, and you’re not going to like it,” Manuel says. Jesus, Manuel, if you’re gonna try to fix your relationship, maybe don’t start off with the ominous statements. He almost apologizes to her, until Mia mentions that she knows Sol tricked him, and Manuel’s like, “Oh, were you SPYING on me?” and then he turns the whole thing around to be about Mia being paranoid. What the fuck! Dump him, Mia! Sadly, she doesn’t, and then Manuel gets so mad that he has to kiss her, because that’s how everyone solves their problems at this school. For once, though, it doesn’t work, Mia storms off. Maybe instead of angrily shoving your mouths together, Manuel, you should’ve apologized for constantly dissing your girlfriend in favor of some new rando and giving away all her clothes.
Oh, and in the background, Blas cackles to himself. Of course he does.
Sol begs the math teacher for more private tutoring. He’s all like, “No! We mustn’t!”, just as Carmen walks by. Sol bats her eyelashes at him, and the math teacher caves and says they can use the teachers’ lounge after class. Carmen’s like, “Illicit tutoring! In the teachers’ lounge! WELL I NEVER!” Sol kisses him on the cheek, and Carmen nearly has a heart attack. They walk off, and Diego and Tomás creep out from where they were eavesdropping in the office. They’re like, “Is it because he has a mullet? We have mullets too, where did we go wrong?”
Laura compliments Mia on giving away her clothes, and Mia cries that it’s still so hard. All her beautiful clothes! And now she has no free dress clothes left at school. Really? Manuel and Sol cleaned out her entire closet? Oh my God, dump him, Mia. Laura offers to lend Mia some of her clothes, and Mia considers it. “You dress pretty well,” she says. “You didn’t really need to be my project after all.” Heh.
Pablo sits down with Papa B and his lawyer to testify against Mama B. They’ve already got a statement written up about how Mama B is neglectful and abusive, all Pablo has to do is sign it. “But I never saw any of that,” Pablo derps. Papa B is like, “Duh, we’re lying, keep up.” Pablo frets over what to do, but then he sees Marizza walk by with her tongue down Ivan’s throat, and he’s like, “Nice guys finish last! We men are GOING OUR OWN WAY!”
Also, hey, Benjamin Rojas is left-handed! I never noticed that before.
Back in the laundry room, Francisco is still threatening the random nerd to keep his mouth shut about Chopy. He’s doing okay on the threatening front, but not so great on the secret-keeping front, seeing as he didn’t even close the door behind him, and Mia and Laura walk right in. Lola chirps, “Hi, Lau!” and Laura’s like, “…why are you saying hi to me?” Heh. Meanwhile, Mia’s all taken with Chopy, and coos that he could be a schoolwide pet. Bianca snaps that Chopy is hers, and Lola’s like, “Uh…he’s both of ours. Right, Lau?” Laura agrees with Lola, probably because she’s just happy her sister isn’t biting her head off.
Gloria accidentally calls Font Dunoff. Hee. She hands him an envelope, and is all surprised when he shoos her out of the room. She’s like, “Dunoff lets me eavesdrop on all of his personal business!” Aw, Gloria. Once she’s gone, Font opens the envelope and takes out the photos of Sol. EW! Oh, God, this is so gross. Carmen comes in to tattle that Sol and the math teacher have a thing, and Font’s like, “Hell no! The only authority figure allowed to perv on her is me!”
Lujan brings Marcos a present. Oh, Lujan. I’m surprised at how little we’ve seen of them so far, but it’s probably a good thing, what with Marcos’s slow transformation into a douche, like all the guys on this show. The present is biking gear, and Lujan chirps that they’re going to go biking together this weekend. Marcos gets very nervous and confesses he doesn’t know how to ride a bike. Lujan laughs at him. Hey, back off, Lujan! Some of us live on top of hills, and are uncoordinated, and never recovered from falling off a bike as a child, okay? Lujan chirps that she’ll teach him, but Marcos is unenthused. Oh, and he mentions he can ride a horse now. He’s been shown horseback riding before (like, way back in the very first episode), but it becomes a huge thing this season. I think maybe they just needed to give him something to do, and Diego Garcia already knew how to ride.
The math teacher tries to explain graphs to Sol, and finally has to tell her to stop putting her face so close to his. Hee! Sol’s like, “I can’t help it, your mullet is such a turn-on.” She leans in, and the math teacher looks at her mouth, and for a second I was like, “Aaaand another grown-ass man gets gross with a teenage girl,” but the math teacher shoots her down, telling her that he’s her teacher and too old for her. I am pleasantly surprised! Mullet aside, I think I love the math teacher. Then Font comes in and shoos Sol out, so he can stake his claim on her with the math teacher. He’s all, “I am appalled that you would have a relationship with a student, and if you were to cross boundaries with a student, which is totally inappropriate and I would never, you’ll go to jail for many years, because that’s something I totally support for sex offenders.” The pervy principal doth protest too much, methinks.
Papa B congratulates Pablo on becoming an MRA. Pablo’s all pumped up on woman-hating, and tells Papa B that he wants to be just like him, and Papa B can count on him for anything. Papa B’s like, “Eeeexcellent.”
Blas takes the kids on another P.E. field trip. Fernanda tries to get snotty with him about sharing the field with the second years — “Why do we have to share?” she asks. “Because they’re the only other class with relevant characters,” he doesn’t say. Seriously, does third year not exist anymore? The kids leave to go get changed, and Font drives up. He’s like, “I’m here to check out the playing field! (And also the underage girls.)” Ah, so he and Blas should have a lot to talk about then.
Bianca and Lola have brought Chopy to P.E. class in Bianca’s backpack. Sure, this will end well. One time my school’s principal brought his dog to school, and the dog went into our classroom during recess and pissed all over one girl’s backpack. (She was a dick, so it was pretty funny.) I’m just saying, Bianca should think of these things. Random Nerd rocks up to needle them about going to class, which they obviously can’t do while taking care of Chopy. (“You think you’re going to make me do anything, with that skinny anemic body you have?” Lola asks. HEE! She snaps that he should go running, because he needs it, and he snots that he doesn’t need exercise, because his family has four cars. I’m starting to love this nerdy asshole.) Anyway, the whole point is moot, because the second they put Chopy down he runs away.
So it turns out that the woman Font was perving on last episode is their new gym teacher, Maria Jesus. As usual, the boys are slimy and creepy about her, especially as they’re swimming today and everyone’s wearing swimsuits. Uh, did they not just spend the summer having pool parties? She’s not even wearing a two-piece. Whatever. Pablo tries to wail at her that he’s afraid of water, but she’s a mean teacher (my favorite kind!) and makes him go in anyway. He promptly pretends to drown so she can save him. Wow, he and Marizza really are made for each other. But before she can do CPR on him, Francisco jumps in to do it, because I guess he’s just generally good at all types of life-saving, because that’s what you learn in the country. Pablo’s like, “What the hell, man!” and is suddenly not unconscious anymore. Hee. Francisco is just throwing salt over everyone’s game and I love him for it. Pablo wibbles at Maria that he needs private lessons, and Maria Jesus’s like, “You know…you’re right. Francisco, teach him to swim.” Ha!
The girls are not at the pool, because having coed swim class would make sense. Instead, they’re just rolling around on the field, wasting time and school resources. Marcos, for some reason, also isn’t swimming with the guys, and he rolls up in his biking gear. So…he just gets to skip P.E. to do whatever sport he wants? Nothing makes sense at this school. Lujan’s decided to just give him his bike lesson here, in the middle of a class, in front of all the other girls. What? Oh, Lujan, I love you, but that’s just cold. Predictably, he wipes out, and all the girls laugh at him.
The girls finally get to do some exercise. They’re playing field hockey, with Mia and Sol as team captains. They call out girls to be on their teams — Fernanda gets picked last, which cracks me up — and Mia is way too excited about this, for no reason I can see. She also makes the grave mistake of not picking Lujan. Like, if I had a choice, I would always want Lujan and her fists of fury on my team in P.E. Predictably, Mia’s team gets massacred, because she picked Feli and Vico and not any of the viciously competitive girls in her class, e.g. Lujan or Marizza, nor the girls who have a lot of pent-up anger from being sideline tertiary characters for so long, e.g. Belen and Fernanda.
For some reason, Marizza celebrates every goal she makes by belly-flopping onto the ground and wriggling around like a flipped turtle. I don’t know.
The game ends when Sol whacks the ball into Mia’s head. Excessive violence? Sol is gonna fit in here nicely.
Then we cut over to…Sonia. Dammit, I thought I was going to get through a whole episode without seeing her! She’s exercising, but like, in a sad way. Eventually she picks up the phone and calls Andres, who’s just getting dressed. He claims to be busy, which we all know is a lie. It can’t take that long to only button like three buttons on your shirt. He tells her he’s off to go see Mia, on account of her accident in P.E. Sonia freaks out and wants to come with, but Andres tells her he doesn’t want to see her. Man, I’m all for Sonia getting burned, but by Andres? That’s embarrassing.
Manuel comes to see Mia. I guess he’s all ready to be nice to her now that she’s incapacitated, as usual. He refuses to believe Sol beaned Mia in the head on purpose, but they manage to avoid another fight. Manuel wibbles that he just wants to be with Mia. “How have you not realized that?” he asks. “Well, you spend all your time stroking Sol’s hair, and believing everything she says about me despite knowing her for five minutes,” Mia doesn’t say. Just kidding, he’s like, “We nearly died on an island together, we’re bonded for life.” They make out, while Sol watches from the corner like a total weirdo. Then Marizza runs in and tells Manuel the guys are looking for him, so he heads off. Marizza starts needling Mia about how cute her head bandage makes her look. Hee!
Honestly, season 2 Marizza is a delight.
Bianca and Lola are still looking for Chopy. He’s standing right by Font, pissing on his shoe. Font flips out and tells Blas that there was a DOG on the FIELD, because you know that’s the last place you would expect to find a dog. “So change your pants,” Blas derps. Font’s like, “No! I want you find that animal, and when you find it, KILL IT.” Even Blas thinks that’s overkill. I can’t believe this show has managed to introduce a character worse than Blas, but here we are.
Etchamendi comes to the school, asking for a report Font was supposed to give him. He and Gloria go into Font’s office to find it, and Gloria is weirdly passive-aggressive about the file not being there. She chirps that it’s not on the desk, ergo it must be in this conveniently locked drawer. Etchamendi tells her to get the janitor to open it — oh, so now Elite Way has a janitor? — because he wants that file now. Gloria eventually opens the desk, and under the file are a bunch of photos of female students — not just the posed photos of Sol, but like creepy stalker photos of girls talking, eating lunch, etc. Gross! This is so, so gross, and even worse because it’s actually pretty realistic. IIIIICK. But when Etchamendi comes in, she doesn’t tell him. For fuck’s sake, Gloria!
Andres checks on Mia, then leaves after like two seconds, so that was pointless. Then Lola comes in, and Mia immediately rushes to assure her: “Don’t worry, I’m fine. It was just a little bump –” “I’m not here because of that,” Lola cuts her off. HEE! She does not give a shit about Mia’s head injury, God love her. Lola tells her about the Chopy situation, and Mia’s like, “I know Blas, he won’t kill the dog.” Yeah, Blas would never do anything shady to suck up to an authority figure, or just generally be an asshole to a defenseless creature. That sounds so out of character for him.
Marizza comes in and she and Mia hang out for a bit. Manuel rejoins them and says that it’s nice to see them getting along, and they decide that if even Mia and Marizza get along, they should make up with Pablo and get Erreway back on track. Tiempo‘s not gonna sell itself, you know!
Andres picks up Chopy outside, and Bianca’s about to approach him, but then Blas swings by and takes the dog. Then Maria Jesus comes out of nowhere and what a coincidence, she and Andres know each other. They marvel over meeting again. Naturally, Maria Jesus used to have a crush on Andres, back when they were younger, and naturally he’s all intrigued by the idea now that she’s gotten hot. Sonia just happens to be walking by, and she’s not happy at all to see them together.
Gloria takes the Font problem to Hilda, who’s immediately like, “This is pretty fucking weird.” Rocco’s walking outside the teachers’ lounge, and eavesdrops on their conversation. Gloria and Hilda decide to wait and get definitive proof, otherwise Font will be untouchable.
Bianca walks by a window and hears Blas monologuing that Font asked him to kill Chopy, and Blas has never met an authority figure he didn’t want to suck up to. Then he drops a knife he’s holding, and Bianca faints dead away, even though there is absolutely no sound indicating that he’s stabbing anything, much less a dog.
Mia, Marizza, and Manuel all run up to Pablo and announce that Erreway is reforming. He’s not super jazzed on the idea, and Marizza snarks that he’s just gonna completely drop the band because of a stupid whim? Pablo’s like, “Actually, yeah.” Whatever. Soon he’s gonna find something to be emo about, and he’ll learn that only the power of teen pop can save him.
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