Oh shit, guys. We back! Welcome to fourth year, everyone!
The year is 2003. In this year: Fall Out Boy released their first album, Take This to Your Grave. My Chemical Romance was signed to a major label. Meteora by Linkin Park went to #1. The age of emo was upon us, and Rebelde Way is right there with us.
HOLD UP AND LET ME PAUSE “THE SOUND OF SETTLING” SO I CAN GET INTO THIS.
God help me, seeing everyone’s names is making me a little emotional.
Our new theme song is “Tiempo.” Everyone rolls around in the rain, dressed in black, because Rebelde Way has gone EMO AS ALL FUCK. Camila Bordonaba has dreads and Felipe Colombo has bleached his hair, and sadly only one of those mistakes will be corrected over the course of 179 episodes.
Mia and Manuel are still in Mexico, presumably at Manuel’s house. They’re all lovey-dovey and exposit about how quickly their vacation flew by, but their happiness is cut short when Manuel’s mom yells at him to come inside. The ominous music helpfully tells us that shenanigans are occurring!
Meanwhile, the rest of the main cast is hanging out together at some pool. Everyone keeps asking Pablo where Marizza is, and he’s like, “You all know she’s still dating Simon, right?” Fucking Simon! I cannot get rid of him! Tomás rolls around the party, introducing his cousin Francisco to everyone. Francisco straight-up looks just like Diego, so that won’t be confusing at all. Can they cast one (1) person who’s not a white boy with long brown hair? They’re all starting to blur together. Francisco is kind of a dick, and Pablo doesn’t like him at all.
The camera swings over to some bushes to reveal that Marizza is here! Spying on everyone! For some reason! Lujan directs her attention over to Francisco, and they salivate over how hot he is. Damn, Lujan, what happened to Marcos? Also, I really hope they’re not gonna try to convince us that Francisco is super hot and all the girls want his body. Because…I mean…no offense to the actor and all, but…yeah.
Lujan exposits that Marizza wasn’t invited to the party, which Marizza is all salty over, but she snarks that she’s going to have fun anyway. Ah, so Marizza is here to wreck shit over a social slight from someone she claims not to like. And here I was worried she changed over the summer!
Manuel asks Mia if she remembers that contest they entered to win a vacation to the Galapagos Islands. She’s like, “Ah, yes, that contest that we have never mentioned before!” He reveals that they’ve won, but they can’t go, as school starts tomorrow. Mia’s like, “Has Elite Way ever given a shit about us skipping school?” Although, honestly, her argument is just as dumb: “If we don’t go now, we’ll never get to go!” Because…her super rich dad can’t take them to the Galapagos some other time? Winning a contest is the only way? Then they’re like, “Fuck it,” and decide to go anyway. In the background, Avril Lavigne approves their decision.
Man, Avril’s second album didn’t come out until May 2004, so we’re just gonna be listening to Let Go all over again.
Lujan goes to the party and Pablo needles her about where she and Marizza went and what they did and how Marizza is. Marizza throws rocks at Pablo, because I guess she figures he doesn’t get abused enough at home, and he assumes that it’s Francisco’s fault. He and Pablo almost rumble, but Tomás tells them to chill, as Francisco will be starting school with them. All the girls are twitterpated over this. Who is this guy? Why do we care about him? Behind some bushes, Marizza cackles that Pablo will soon learn not to…not personally call her up to invite her to parties…because he thinks that she’s dating another guy…? Marizza’s logic is not like our earth logic.
Belen gets pushed into the pool twice. Hee.
Dunoff meets with the parents of a new student named Sol, in his new and shiny office that must have been designed with their slightly larger budget. He’s also rocking a new hairstyle. Sol’s parents are all upset that Sol wants to be a model, and so they’re sending her to boarding school. They probably shouldn’t send her to Elite Way, where teenagers can become pop culture sensations without their parents hearing a word about it. Dunoff says the 4th year class is completely full, but then Etchamendi comes in and he’s like, “Hello Sol’s parents, my old friends!” Dunoff’s like, “Haha, did I say ‘full’? I actually meant we have room for just one more student!” It’s good to see Dunoff didn’t grow a spine over the summer, either.
Lujan tells Feli that she misses Marcos, as she hasn’t seen him since they came back from Machu Picchu. Feli says that she feels the same way about Mia. “I mean, as a friend!” she adds while Lujan cackles. Aw! I love when Lujan gets along with anybody apart from Marizza. They change the subject to how school’s starting again, and Lujan tells Feli that they’re going to have four people to a room now instead of three. Seriously? Those rooms are tiny as it is! My college dorm was bigger!
At the theater — hey! a shot of the theater that isn’t Sonia’s dressing room! — some guy berates another guy because Sonia hasn’t shown up. Just then Sonia walks in, on the phone with Pepa. She exposits that Pepa is taking care of Nacho, and lives with him and his brother now. Jesus, I don’t like Pepa, but what kind of hellish fate is that to send her to? One of the theater crew tries to tell Sonia that she’s late and they have to get started, and she snaps, “Excuse me, I’m the star of the show.” Yeah, fuck the rest of the crew, their jobs, and their time!
Pablo hits on some girl with the same hair as Marizza. Honestly, he goes way over the top, telling her he’s in love with her and shit. The girl’s like, “Hell no, I saw season 1, you’re in love with Marizza.” Pablo starts BSing about how he never really liked Marizza, which is unfortunate for him, because Marizza happens to be conveniently standing right behind them. She’s not pleased at all, and gropes the girl while she and Pablo are making out. Not-Marizza calls Pablo a perv and slaps him. Marizza and Francisco both laugh at Pablo for striking out.
Guido crashes into everyone sitting in the hot tub, and they’re all like, “What up, Guido, long time no see!” There’s no time long enough for me to go without seeing Guido, but sadly he is a package deal with the rest of the class. While everyone’s laughing it up in the hot tub, Lujan steals a bunch of sandwiches from the buffet for Marizza. Francisco sees her, and is like, “Something weird is going on!”
Holy shit, we’re finally seeing the rest of Casa Colucci! Papa C’s on the phone with Peter, and he chirps to him that he’s super excited that Mia’s coming home soon! Yeah, I bet she’s not. Papa C’s about to start complaining about the horrific vacation he had with Sonia Rey, when some dude shows up. His name is Andres, and he and Papa C are all pumped to see each other, but then he reveals that he’s here to mooch off of Papa C forever because he’s “ruined.” Mysterious! Manuel’s mom calls Papa C — and hey, after a full season, we finally learn that her name is Concepción — and is like, “Manuel and Mia are definitely coming back soon!” He makes a remark that he hopes Manuel is taking good care of Mia, and Andres is like, “Is that what they’re call it these days, ohohoho.” Gross, dude. Papa C’s like, “Mia and Manuel’s relationship is pure and they would never do anything wrong!”
Mia and Manuel have totally gone to the Galapagos instead of going back home. They babble about how this summer has totally made them more mature and how they’re totally in love, and Manuel’s like, “So let’s talk about going past second base.” Uh-oh.
At some nice house, some ~rebelde~ girl listens to music while her mom tries to talk to her. Another girl has her books spread out over the table, so we know they’re the Good Sister and the Bad Sister. Their mom exposits that they can only pay for one of their daughters’ tuition, so Good Sister (“Laura”) has to study and pass the scholarship exam. It sounds like Bad Sister (“Dolores”, who we’ll soon know as “Lola”) is getting a pretty sweet deal, but she’s all pissy that their parents favor Laura because she’s all studious and not ~rebelde. Lola’s acting kind of like early stage Marizza, i.e. completely heinous, but with this show, you never know if that’s supposed to be a bad thing or not.
Lujan brings Marizza her food and is like, “Why don’t you just attend this party that you’ve been invited to and have fun?” Marizza snaps that she’s just here to ruin Pablo’s day, and Lujan’s like, “Why are you so obsessed with him?” Heh. Marizza freaks out that Pablo was flirting with a girl from the fifth year! From FIFTH YEAR! He must be punished! She has a big old tarantula that she was just…carrying around with her, I guess, and she wants Lujan to put it in his shoes. Lujan runs off to do Marizza’s bidding, and Francisco sneaks up behind her. He’s all “Sup?” and Marizza chokes on her sandwich. Francisco proceeds to save her via an incredibly unrealistic version of the Heimlich. Yeah, this dude is not certified in first aid. Marizza lies to him and says she’s the daughter of the landlady, even though Francisco just told her he’s going to school with Tomás, so like…he’s gonna see her at school eventually and figure out who she is.
Mia calls Sonia and asks her to help cover them with Papa C. For once, Sonia doesn’t leap to do a teenager’s bidding, and Mia freaks out that she’s going to have to tell her dad that they ran away to the Galapagos. “He’s going to make us come back!” she wails, like Papa C can physically drag them away from the island.
Feli tells Vico that she hopes they have new classmates, and that said new classmates are male, and that said new male classmates are hot. We see snapshots of four new guys — one of them being Francisco — and then we cut to a dance routine! OMG, it’s been ages since we’ve had one of those! They’re getting down to “Help Me” by Nick Carter, and all the boys are winking at the camera, while over in the real world, Feli…reacts to them…? WHAT IS HAPPENING.
Over in the hot tub, Vico tells Guido that she sees him checking out Not-Marizza. Guido acts all offended by the suggestion, like he’s not clearly the biggest perv in the entire class. Guido’s mom calls and tells him that his uncle or someone unimportant is sick, so she and Guido’s dad are going to go take care of him. Guido tries to BS that Vico can’t come with them, for some reason.
Dunoff shows a new set of parents to the dorms, bragging about how the rooms are of the highest quality. “I’m more interested in the school’s academic quality,” the dad says. Dunoff’s like, “You will be amazed! We have two (2) whole teachers, and the finest shelf of books in the single alcove that passes for a library!” The dad frets that his son (“Rocco”) needs lots of discipline, because he’s a total emo kid and he needs to listen less Good Charlotte and more Nick Carter, you feel? Rocco walks around the room and disses the school to Dunoff’s face, because he’s ~rebelde. His hair is absolutely heinous.
There’s a gigantic wristwatch on the wall, for some reason. What the fuck?
Pablo, Tomás, and Guido get dressed while Guido whines that having a girlfriend is cramping his style. Pablo brags that without Marizza on his back, he’s free to get aaaall the ladies. Then he puts on his shoe and gets bitten by Marizza’s spider. Yeah, he kinda had that coming. Tomás starts crying that that breed of spider is venomous, and Pablo freaks out. Okay, if he’s taking zoological advice — or any kind of advice, really — from Tomás? This is all his own damn fault.
Elite Way has a new lobby, too! What the fuck! You have changed, show. I appreciate them giving Gloria a window and some shelves behind her desk, but they really didn’t have to give yet another room in the building a garish color scheme. She receives some bad news, but of course Dunoff goes off on her when she tries to tell him. Oooh, I bet whatever it is, when Dunoff eventually finds out, he’ll be mad that she didn’t tell him earlier! What hijinks!
Some lady comes to enroll her daughter in second year. She gives her daughter’s name as “Bianca Delight,” talking over her daughter when Bianca tries to say something else. Mysterious!
Marizza’s feeding Francisco some sob story about how she’s poor and has to steal food from rich people parties because her life is soooo haaard. Honestly, it’s such an obvious lie that it’s on him for believing it. They hear the commotion Pablo’s making, and Francisco runs off to help them. Literally everyone at the party has to drag Pablo’s whiny ass out of the backyard, and Lujan tells him to chill out. Tomás argues that Pablo might be allergic to that type of spider, and Lujan’s like, “Whoops, I guess Marizza didn’t think about that before putting a potentially dangerous animal in Pablo’s shoe.” Then she desperately tries to cover her mistake and take the fall for Marizza, because Lujan does not love herself. Eventually Marizza comes to her rescue, revealing her new hair. I guess it’s supposed to be an awesome moment. Whatever.
After rehearsal, the director’s like, “Hey Sonia, maybe next rehearsal you could show up on time and generally not be such a dick,” and she’s like, “Me? Respect other people’s jobs? NEVER!” The director is kind of an ass and quits in a fit of pique, and Sonia heaves a huge sigh. It’s SO HARD when people won’t put up with you acting like their time and work doesn’t matter 🙁
I swear to God, I’m so worn out on Sonia. I have watched her be an unrepentant asshole for over 100 hours. This is my hell.
Sonia realizes that Mia probably never called Papa C, so she sucks it up and calls him herself. Papa C snaps that she’s probably about to ruin his day, and she’s already done that enough, so he’s happy to not listen to a word she has to say. “I want to forget you exist!” he snaps before hanging up. If we only could, Papa C! I would make a deal with God!
Marizza faces off with Pablo, and Lujan threatens that if Pablo touches Marizza, Lujan will beat him up. Pablo tells Marizza that he didn’t invite her to the party because he didn’t want to see Simon, and she mumbles that Simon isn’t her boyfriend anymore. Praise Jesus! Pablo tells Marizza that he missed her, and Marizza’s like, “Yeah…well…that spider wasn’t venomous, so.” Aw, these crazy kids and their communication problems. Cutely, she worries over whether or not Pablo likes her white girl dreads — he assures her that he does, which is a very sweet lie considering that it’s hideous. Pablo suggests that they try to be friends during fourth year, and Marizza agrees.
Manuel and Mia ride on some boat together while “Beautiful” by Christina Aguilera plays in the background. This definitely is not supposed to be funny, but it totally is. They wax on some more about how in love they are and it’s really embarrassing. Then they get to the hotel and Mia wants them to sleep in separate hotel rooms, and Manuel’s like, “But, but, but my boner.” He gets all pissy with her and stalks off. Run, Mia!
Vico and Guido go to visit Guido’s sick uncle, except it turns out they’re at a butcher shop. Guido’s parents reveal that the shop is theirs, as they used all their money to pay for his sick uncle’s treatment. Guido immediately forgets everything he learned about not being ashamed of his parents — and also that his classmates already know he’s not rich — and is all pissy that his parents are working there. He hustles Vico out of there and pretends he doesn’t know who the shop belongs to. Then he yells at his parents that he doesn’t want to go back to school, because Elite Way is for rich kids, and now he’s poor. Fuck you, Guido! Don’t taunt me with the promise of you never returning, because I know it won’t happen!
~Someone~ spies on Marizza through the bushes, as she drops Pablo off at his house. They try to make friendly small talk, and Pablo tells Marizza that his mom still hasn’t come back from Europe and he hasn’t heard from her at all. Dun dun dun! Marizza tries to cheer him up by taking him for a ride on her ATV — I love that she still has that thing, God bless — and Papa B sees them. Then he gets a call from Mama B, and he exposits that he’s forbidden her from contacting Pablo, even by phone.
Back at school: “So, did you see Pablo and Marizza today?” Vico asks Lujan. “Yeah, they were fighting,” Lujan says. Vico’s like, “You dumbass, that’s like foreplay for them, DUH.” Pilar, Feli, and Belen all join them, and Vico asks Pilar to explain why there’s another bed in the room. Pilar and Vico are both wearing the same kind of top with writing all over it, for some reason.
Manuel and Mia fight some more about Mia not putting out within like two months of them dating. He’s completely unwilling to understand why a 15-year-old girl doesn’t want to have sex right away. Like, damn Manuel, if you wanted to get laid so bad then maybe you should’ve stayed in college instead of doing high school all over again. Poor Mia cries that she’s not ready while Manuel yells that she doesn’t really ~love him if she won’t put out. Dump his ass, Mia!
Pablo comes home and freaks out at whatever his dad is doing. “PAPA?!” Oh shit son, the first episode and we’re already leaving off on a cliffhanger?
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