Oh hey, I didn’t realize this post was going to fall on Valentine’s Day! And what better day to have a recap of this dramatic, sappy telenovela? Let’s go forth!
Opening monologue: I don’t want any more lies, but I’m afraid of the truth. It’s okay, though, because our love conquers all. Sure, if they can keep from breaking up every five episodes.
We pick up where we left off: Tomás, perhaps fearing that he was losing the title of Dumbest Person on the Show to Facundo or Guido, spills to Marizza that he and Pablo had a bet going on. Pablo shows up and they successfully BS her that it was a bet about telling Pablo’s dad that he wants to quit hockey, and they called it “The Marizza Bet” because Pablo was very Marizza-like in confronting him. Marizza buys this, although she shouldn’t. Pablo and Tomás take their fight to the bathroom, when who should overhear them but Pilar? Oh, this will end well. She says she won’t say anything and storms out, and Pablo and Tomás go back to wrestling homoerotically on the floor. Of the bathroom? Ew.
Worst threesome ever.
Back at the shady bar, where they listen to James Scott and arm wrestle to the death, Manuel has run into Blas. Blas is like, “I know it’s you, Manuel, you literally just put on a pair of sunglasses.” Hee. I hate when Blas is smarter than the rest of the cast, because then I’m forced to compliment him. Manuel tries to be cool and take a sip of his drink, but he chokes on the alcohol. Manuel is the worst bad boy ever. Fred from Scooby-Doo is more threatening than he is. Blas says they’ll start Manuel off easy in the arm-wrestling circuit, with some guy called “the Baby”, who…turns out to be a hulking bald guy. Everyone’s like, “Oh shit son, you’ll die arm-wrestling him!”
Mia comes back to school early, faking illness. Mercedes tries to call her out, but Papa C doesn’t listen to her. Once Mia’s alone, she calls Sonia and begs her to get her out of the trip to New York. Papa C and Mercedes stay behind to spy, and see Sonia show up to the school. Mercedes cackles evilly that she was right. Seriously, isn’t Mercedes supposed to be a lawyer? I’ve heard that that’s a job that actually requires work. Maybe Mercedes is a lawyer like Ned Wakefield is a lawyer. Anyway, Sonia comes to see Mia, but then Papa C knocks on the door. Sonia and Mia take like, five whole minutes to come up with the idea of hiding Sonia in the closet. Jesus, you guys. Papa C comes in and Mia tells him that she wants to have her quince with her friends, and Papa C’s like, “Friends like Sonia Rey?” He goes off on a rant about her, and insults her until she gets too mad to stay hidden anymore. Papa C snaps that the three of them are going to have a serious talk. Whatever. All the adults on this show are boring.
Meanwhile, Marcos and Lujan are wandering around campus, newly boyfriend-and-girlfriend. They’re a little awkward together, and don’t have very much in common (Marcos isn’t interested in sports or violence; Lujan doesn’t watch Neon Genesis Evangelion). They admit that neither of them has ever dated anyone before, and awkwardly kiss before moving on. AW.
Pilar comes outside and sees them, and cries to her mom that if even Marcos and Lujan can find love, why can’t she? Heh. She blames Mama D for cramping her style, and Mama D gets fed up and snaps that maybe if Pilar stopped acting like such a dick, she might get a boyfriend. Pilar misses the point entirely, and evilly voiceovers that she’ll find a way to date one of the cutest boys in school, and then everyone will be jealous of her.
At the shady bar, home of such illegal activities like playing jazz, drinking moonshine, and arm-wrestling, Manuel wins the match against the Baby. He realizes that the guy let him win, and Baby tells him that he hates Blas as much as Manuel does, so if Manuel’s trying to fuck with him, he’s not going to stop him. Manuel wants to hear the backstory to this, but then Blas cuts in and offers himself up for another match. Blas cheats and punches Manuel in the face (as you do), which distracts Manuel enough for Blas to win. Manuel’s like, “Wasn’t that cheating?” and the rest of the guys are like, “Whatever.” Arm-wrestling is such a lawless game!
Vico overhears Feli vomiting in the bathroom, and Feli cries that she feels bad over Simon dissing her. They go to the cafeteria where Feli lets it all out; Vico bitters that guys never change. “Welcome to the club,” Feli says. Hee. They’re cute when they get along. Luna comes in and asks where Mia is; Feli departs because she still hates Luna. Then Guido comes in — man, it’s like a revolving door of characters up in here — and says he has to clean, and Vico snipes that she’s not going to help him this time.
Manuel comes back to school, and tells Nico all about his victory against Baby: “I stood in front of a gigantic man…and I won,” he says. Nico raises his eyebrows. “Okay, he let me win,” Manuel admits. HEE. They discover that, post arm-wrestling defeat, Baby slipped Manuel his number. Uh, does he want to hook up with Manuel? Just kidding; Manuel plans to call him to find out more about Blas. I swear to God, if this is another guy on Blas’s payroll, I’m gonna be pissed. How does a glorified yard assistant make enough money to have his own acting troupe anyway? Who is he, Count Olaf?
Lujan chatters on to Marizza that Marcos has a surprise for her, but Marizza’s too emo to support her. Marizza tells Lujan that she doesn’t entirely believe Pablo and Tomás’s story about their bet. Lujan’s like, “That is pretty weird. Oh well, gotta go make out with my boyfriend.”
Pablo’s bought a gigantic teddy bear and a balloon for Marizza, because it’s Valentine’s Day probably to soothe her wrath when she finds out the truth. Pilar swings by and Pablo tells her to butt out and forget what she heard in the bathroom. She offers to do so in exchange for a favor: she wants Pablo to help her get with Tomás. What, she needs Pablo’s help? Just trap Tomás in a room and wait for his self-control to wear down. Anyway, Pablo laughs and says it doesn’t matter if she tells Marizza; nobody in this school believes a thing Pilar says.
Sonia and Papa C are still fighting. They’re so boring, you guys. I’m not even going to describe their fight, because it is about the same damn thing every time. I didn’t even watch the entire scene, so if something important happened, I missed it. Eventually Papa C slams down a visa application and tells Mia she’s going to fill it out by tomorrow. Sonia comforts Mia and tells her that they’ll fuck up the application so Mia won’t have to go anywhere. I feel like submitting false information on a visa application is not a thing you want to do, but whatever.
Marcos takes Lujan to the orphanage director (“Laura”)’s house. You know, that place they were supposed to go two episodes ago, but forgot about due to making out. Lujan is afraid of confronting Laura, but Marcos tells her she’s not alone anymore. AW. Lujan rings the buzzer, and some lady answers the door. “You’re not the person I’m looking for,” Lujan says. The lady says she’s Laura’s daughter and Laura doesn’t live there anymore. She can’t say where Laura is now, because one time one of the orphans tracked her down and tried to hurt her. Wow, it sounds like that orphanage had some problems. Anyway, Laura’s daughter says she’ll get in touch with Lujan if she finds anything she can share.
Marizza runs into Simon, who wants to show her his pictures (not a euphemism). Marizza’s like, “I hate you, so…no.” Then Pilar pops up! Marizza is about to blow her off when Pablo drags Pilar off, hissing that he’ll kill her, and that piques Marizza’s suspicion. Nice going, Pablo. But then she goes into the lounge and sees his present for her, and totally forgets about it. Oh, Marizza. The singing in the background seems really familiar — OH MY GOD, IT’S MANDY MOORE! She was totally underrated, as far as the blonde pop singers of the early 2000s went. “Crush” remains one of my favorite songs.
Anyway, now that I’ve admitted some more embarrassing facts about myself, back to Pablo and Pilar. Pablo’s gotten all violent and is trying to throttle her, and Pilar repeats her demand: she won’t tell Marizza if Pablo helps her get with Tomás. I mean, honestly, this is a win-win. Poor dumb Tomás needs someone to tell him what to do at all times.
Vico tells Mia that Feli’s all broken up over Simon and his Marizza obsession. Mia’s like, “Ugh, he like Marizza? How could we have hired a photographer with such bad taste?” Vico’s like, “…that was not the point of this story.” Mia admits that they’re all worried about Feli; Luna told her that Feli might be making herself throw up. Vico’s like, “Hold up, I heard her vomiting earlier.” Wait for it…wait for it…”She told me she was vomiting because she didn’t feel well,” Vico adds.
Oh. Nevermind. I thought they were finally going to figure out that she was bulimic. You know, after like eighty episodes.
Marizza is all twitterpated over Pablo’s present, and they make out on the pool table. She whines to him about how annoying she finds all the party preparations, and Pablo is all charmed by her. “You’re so smart,” he says. Marizza adds that she does want Erreway to sing at the party. Are they going to play their usual set of one song for a night-long party? Pablo tells her that he’ll write her a song for her birthday, and they make out again. Then Pilar shows up and totally kills Pablo’s boner. Hee.
Creepin’ on the low, low~
Manuel calls Baby, and they agree to meet in an hour. “Finally, Mia’s going to see what kind of guy she’s dating,” he tells Nico and Luna. Luna: “Why does Manuel care so much what Mia does?” Nico doesn’t think Manuel still has a crush on her, but for some reason…does not bring up that Manuel wants revenge on her dad? Remember when Nico knew about that, and told Luna, and then they both knew? Yeah, they don’t remember that either.
In Pablo’s room, Tomás is reading a gaming magazine. With The Sims on the cover! I bet Tomás spends hours lovingly creating his family and wanting them all to succeed. Marizza, on the other hand, is totally the kind of person who would make them go swimming and then delete the ladder. Anyway, Pablo tells Tomás that he feels sorry that Tomás lost the bet, so he’s going to help him out. If Tomás goes out with Pilar, Pablo will give him his CDs back. “Why Pilar?” Tomás wails. I mean, he wasn’t complaining when he dated her a million episodes ago. Then he looks over at his lost CD collection and agrees.
Marcos and Lujan come back to school, and Dunoff intercepts them. He tells them that he’s gotten a message from Lujan’s tutor. She’s to get into the car he’s sent and go to the airport, because her tutor’s taking her…somewhere. Dunoff doesn’t know where. And he’s just letting Lujan go? Man, he’s lucky this is a telenovela and none of the main teenagers can die. Anyway, Dunoff won’t let Marcos go with her, so he excitedly wishes her luck. “You’re going to meet your tutor!” I bet she isn’t.
Manuel stalks Mia down a hallway, as she texts Blas that she needs him. ICK, on both parts of that sentence. He snarks that she’s in his way, and she wants to know where he’s heading in such a hurry. Manuel, like a dumbass, brags to her that he’s going to go find out Blas’s whole sordid history. Manuel really doesn’t understand the concept of stealth, does he? Mia condescends that Manuel’s not going to find anything bad about Blas. Except…wasn’t he in jail? I bet if Mia goes to his house, she’ll find that it’s 1,000 feet from all parks, schools, and playgrounds. Anyway, she tries to blow him off, but eventually asks if she can come with him.
Feli finds a letter Mia’s written her, asking her to be the maid of honor at her quince. Feli is all happy. Aw, Mia’s a good friend. Watch Feli get even more bulimic under the pressure, though.
Mia and Manuel get on a bus to go see Baby, and Mia’s all like, “Public transit, gross!” For some reason, Manuel leaves her to pay the fare, and Mia doesn’t know how the machine works. Also, the guy holding the Pepsi Twist sign is behind them for no reason at all. Manuel tells her they’re going to find out the truth behind “The Son of the Cobra,” aka Blas. So Blas isn’t even cool enough to be the actual Cobra? I’m not surprised.
Pablo tries to get Tomás to talk to Pilar, but Tomás is not keen on the idea: “What if she sets me on fire?” he doesn’t ask, but is probably thinking. Pablo gets fed up with his whining and just shoves him into Pilar. Hee! Tomás invites her to have a drink, and Pilar is all twitterpated.
In the lounge, Marizza is loudly product-placing a website when Papa B rocks up. Marizza tells him that she had nothing to do with Pablo quitting hockey (re: Pablo’s excuse for “The Marizza Bet”), and Papa B’s like, “Say what?” Marizza is perturbed.
Guido is at his sad apartment, gettin’ emo to the musical stylings of Nickelback. Oh, man. Vico girl, you dodged a bullet. He flashbacks to the good times with Vico, which was basically just their one date at the arcade. I think Tomás even managed to stick with Fernanda for longer. Then his doorbell rings, and he opens his door to see his mom.
Papa B goes to see Pablo, and compliments him on knowing the way to Marizza’s heart, via gigantic teddy bears. Then he’s like, “So what’s up with you wanting to quit hockey?” and Pablo’s like, “Yikes.”
Manuel and Mia go to the Baby’s house and find the door unlocked. They swing it open, and are all shocked by whatever’s inside. I hope it’s a body. That’s romantic!
Pilar and Tomás sneak off to make out in the cabinet under the stairs, but they’re interrupted by Marizza. She chases Tomás out, then threatens Pilar to tell her the truth about Pablo.
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