Previously on Rebelde Way: Pilar was revealed as Tomás’s secret admirer, which…was actually pretty surprising, considering her interest in him came out of absolutely fucking nowhere. Vico basically hates Pablo now, but still won’t break up with him for…reasons.
Also, I keep getting notices on my stats that people tend to find my blog (or at least my Rebelde Way posts) by googling shit like “Luisana Lopilato striptease” and “15-year-old Luisana Lopilato”, which, frankly, is GROSS. When I wrote my first RW recap back in 2012, I tried to downplay how weirded out I was by the striptease scene. I joked that, you know, I’m American and therefore puritanical, but surely this is a little weird, right?
However, I am slightly older now, and I just wanna say: NO. Stop googling for an underage girl taking her clothes off. Blah blah age of consent differs in Argentina blah — it’s one thing for teenagers to get sexual with each other. It’s another thing for a teenager to get sexual and have that broadcasted for wide consumption, including that of adults. Because I really doubt most of the people looking for that scene are fellow 15-year-olds.
Anyway, opening monologue: It sucks when people aren’t honest with you, DOESN’T IT? I have no idea what this is referring to. Is this a dig at Manuel lying about his age? Or his fake relationship with Feli? Is it about Pilar secretly writing the newspaper? Lujan secretly receiving money? Pablo secretly screwing around on Vico? Marizza secretly babysitting some kid? Nico being secretly Jewish? CAN NOBODY IN THIS ENTIRE SCHOOL TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT ANYTHING?
Marizza reads the letter from the reporter — apparently the kid is part of an investigation of some kind, and he can’t be left alone, but the reporter has had to skip town, and the best way to keep the kid safe is to leave him with a teenager. (And Marizza, of all teenagers. The only way this could be worse is if the guy left him with like, Guido.) The kid’s name is Nacho. Now, Marizza could like…take him to her mother. Or to the police. Or to literally any authority figure in the world, but that would be the sensible thing to do, so she doesn’t. Adventures in Babysitting with Marizza it is. That is not the show I signed up to watch.
Papa C’s office. He reads Mia the riot act for fighting with Marizza. Mia correctly points out that she stays in her own lane and Marizza keeps picking fights with her, but Papa C says that Mia should ignore her. “I don’t want anything more to do with [Sonia]! She’s making me hysterical!” Heh. Mia rather slyly mentions that Sonia really has Papa C worked up. She also promises to stay away from Marizza. Hasn’t that been what she’s doing, though? Whatever.
Over at Pablo’s house, Guido has brought some weak-ass champagne to celebrate “the best night.” I’m assuming he thinks he’s going to get laid. Pilar shows up, looking quite cute in Mia’s dress. The show weirdly doesn’t take the opportunity for Tomás to be all She Cleans Up Nicely, but I guess that goes against their M.O. of just pretending major changes in the characters’ motivations and relationships have been there all along.
Pilar tries to warn Pablo that Vico knows about the party, but naturally he doesn’t listen to her. And then Vico shows up! It’s super anticlimactic, actually. She yells at Pablo for not inviting her, slaps him, and walks out. Shortest revenge ever.
Peter walks in on Mia crawling around Papa C’s office, looking for a picture of her mom. She needles him until he agrees to tell her about Mama C, but he doesn’t manage to get out any details before the phone rings and interrupts them. Of course it does. Vico is on the other end, presumably wailing about Pablo, and Mia tells her to come over. When she hangs up, Peter has escaped. I wonder why everyone is so hesitant to talk about Mama C? Could there be SOMETHING MYSTERIOUS about her death?
Back at the Pablo’s house, he brushes off Vico’s visit — “On Monday, she’ll be begging me to take her back, I’ll buy her a little gift, and that’ll be it.” Sadly, that’s probably true. But why does Pablo want to get back together with her, anyway? I can believe that he’s the kind of douche who doesn’t want to put any emotional effort into the relationship, but he blows Vico off even when she just wants to make out, so I don’t know why he’s bothering to keep it going. Unless it’s just a power thing at this point, because I can believe that.
Anyway, Pablo and Guido scurry off with their dates — if I were Pablo’s date, I’d book it after seeing Vico, but whatever — and leave Tomás and Pilar alone. Tomás dorkily tells her he never realized how pretty she was, but in fairness, knee-length denim skirts don’t do anyone any favors. They start making out, but it gets out of hand and Pilar tells him to stop. And then…oh, Tomás. It pains me that he does this, because he’s one of my secret favorites, but he’s all like, “I know you want it” and tries to kiss her again. After all, if she wasn’t into this, why was she sending him those sexy notes? Pilar’s like, “WHAT notes?” She wasn’t the one sending Tomás those notes — she was just putting them in his locker, I guess? Then she says that everyone was getting those notes, which is weird, because Pablo and Guido didn’t. Tomás tries to lean in again, and she shoves him onto the floor, which draws Pablo back into the room. Pilar leaves and Pablo’s date is also weirded out. Tomás and Pablo are not pleased. Pilar defending herself against date rape totally harshed their party.
Back at Elite Way, Lujan and Luna complain over how dead the school is. Lujan, hilariously, is lifting weights in bed. I love you, Lujan! Why must you hurt me by hanging out with Marizza?
GOD BLESS.
Luna frets that, with so many people gone from the school, someone might break in to steal their stuff. Right? I’m sayin’. Lujan perks up at the realization that the school is empty, and runs out of the room to wreak havoc. “Don’t leave me alone!” Luna wails, and scrambles out after her. You know, it occurs to me that they could deal with Luna’s fear by letting the kids lock their doors.
Papa C’s office, which I guess is the only room in the Coluccis’ house that they can afford to show. Pablo shows up while Vico is ranting to Mia, and Mia, God bless her, tries to save Vico from dickmatization. Sadly for all of us, Vico forgives him. And now their relationship drama can be dragged out for another twenty episodes.
Luna and Lujan sneak into Dunoff’s office to look for her school papers, so Lujan can find out who her mysterious secret mystery benefactor is. Naturally, they hear Dunoff approach and have to hide. Just in time for Pilar to come in and have a dramatic confrontation with her dad! She begs him to expel Pablo and Tomás for humiliating her. Weirdly, she says it like the entire party was a joke on her, except…Tomás invited her because he thought she liked him? He legitimately was trying to get with her? How can the writers forget what happened literally two scenes ago? Anyway, Dunoff can’t kick them out, but he does nicely comfort her while she cries. So he isn’t a terrible parent 100% of the time! I wonder if Lujan and Luna will be nice to Pilar after overhearing this? Haha, just kidding, these kids have no empathy for each other.
(I don’t know if they manage to get Lujan’s papers after Dunoff and Pilar leave. It just cuts to the next day. That’s the kind of quality continuity we’ve all come to expect from this show, I think.)
In class the next day, a teacher comes in, gives them an assignment, and then the bell rings. A+ pacing! Feli wants to gossip about Manuel, but Vico’s all like, “But we haven’t talked about my relationship problems in 5 whole minutes!” Mia says she knows Vico forgave Pablo, because Vico “[doesn’t] have even a bit of dignity” (way harsh, Mia!). Vico says she has a plan for more revenge and stalks off. Mia is disbelieving, as are we all. She and Feli armchair psychoanalyze Vico, saying she only cares about being with the ~cutest~ boy in school, not whether or not he’s a decent person. Feli opines that Manuel is the cutest because she is obsessed with him, and Mia blows her off with “Eh, he’s not my type.” Drag this subplot out more, writers!
Over in the hallway, Luna sensibly asks Marizza why she doesn’t just call the police and let them take care of Nacho. “Are you crazy?” demands Lujan. Yeah! It is pretty crazy to alert the authorities to an abandoned child! No, Marizza will do the sensible thing — she’ll just hide the kid in the school and take care of him herself. No one will ever find out! Although, actually, given the total lack of supervision of the kids here, she could totally get away with it.
But anyway, forget that kid. No, really, that’s what Lujan says. Oh, Lujan. She tells Marizza that Papa B bought Dunoff a car, and that’s why Pablo is untouchable. Doesn’t…Marizza already know this? You know, from when she stood there and watched the car being delivered? Whatever, continuity is for squares.
Speaking of which, Vico and Pilar’s lockers are suddenly right next to each other. Fine, I’ll roll with it. Pilar has also ditched her knee-length denim skirt for a normal one, praise Jesus. She tells Vico she didn’t know Vico wasn’t invited to the party, and she didn’t mean to let it slip in front of her. Aw, that’s actually pretty nice. Vico asks how Pilar got invited, anyway, and Pilar tells her how Tomás thought he had a secret admirer. “How iiiiinteresting,” Vico evils, not at all obviously. Do you think she could be plotting revenge?
(What’s really hilarious is that you will recall that this all started because Vico thought Pablo was praising Marizza, when he was really celebrating getting her kicked out of school. I mean, Pablo does spend all his time badmouthing Vico, and talks about dumping her every episode, but he doesn’t actually attempt to cheat on her until way after she starts her whole revenge thing. Every subplot on this show is so pointless, God bless.)
In the cafeteria, Manuel and Nico enter just in time to hear Pablo telling a joke about Jews. Some casual antisemitism to go with your teen telenovela! Guido’s all like, “Ooh, I have a joke too! What if there were JEWISH PEOPLE in THIS VERY SCHOOL!” and everyone else is like, “Ohoho, the very idea!”, while Nico and his eyebrows are just like >:( in the background. Manuel jumps in with a “joke” about how Pablo’s dad is a evil bribing briber, and Tomás is all like, “You DARE come in here and BESMIRCH the honor of the Bustamantes?” but they decide not to fight him because lbr, Manuel could beat them up. Feli comes over and coos that Manuel is super sexy when he’s standing up against Pablo’s shit. Manuel is all perturbed because Feli keeps getting more and more into him while he’s trying to break up with her, while Nico is perturbed by that blatant display of antisemitism. One of those seems like a more serious issue than the other.
Over in Papa C’s office, he watches an interview on television where Sonia says he didn’t sexually harass her. In fact, she doubts he could sexually harass anyone, because he’s a failure of a man! Wait, what? Papa C is appalled that she’s insulting his masculinity. I’m appalled that this show is implying sexual harassment is how men “should” act towards women. I lower my standards so much for this show, and I’m still disappointed.
Pablo and Tomás play pool while a bunch of girls do their homework for them, because they don’t love themselves. Someone (Vico) throws a note over Tomás’s shoulder, but they don’t see who (Vico) it is (Vico). It’s from (Vico) Tomás’s secret admirer! (Vico) She tells him that she’ll meet him in the laundry room and he can get to third base with her. He gets all twitterpated again, even though…Pilar told him that everyone was receiving those notes? Then again, I don’t know that this is a continuity error. We all know Tomás isn’t the smartest. Pablo worries that it might be a joke, and he can’t stand for someone toying with Tomás’s emotions like that. Only Pablo is allowed to dick him around! Tomás is pissed that Pablo thinks an irl girl wouldn’t want to make out with him, and storms off. Pablo is the loneliest bully 🙁
Back in Marizza’s room, she’s holding court over her dance team, because she and Mia totally aren’t the same person. She flips out in the middle because she thinks she sees Nacho outside the window, falling down and drinking bleach and generally being unsupervised. The guilt is eating her alive! No, not the guilt from making fun of her classmates’ emotional problems, or from nearly ruining her mother’s reputation. That would be silly. She makes Lujan and Luna run out and look for Nacho with her. They run approximately three feet away from each other, look behind some shrubs, then shrug. As they walk off, the camera OMINOUSLY zooms onto some footprints on the ground. I bet they would’ve seen those if they had looked around for more than five seconds. Anyway, her dance team chickens out because Marizza’s really fun and all, but she’s also kind of psychotic, and Mia is at least a benevolent cheer-tator who also gives away designer clothes. So…none for Marizza, bye. Marizza decides to prove that she too can be benevolent, by shrieking at them to get out of her room. She assures Lujan and Luna that the fight isn’t over, though. I feel like Marizza has some problems that should probably be addressed in therapy.
Feli convinces Manuel to hang out with her and Mia, because she wants them to get along. Aw.
Tomás is in the laundry room, freaking out because it’s dark and scary in there. No, really. Vico comes in dressed as a ghost (what?), and Tomás completely flips his shit. There’s a ghost in the laundry room in broad daylight interrupting his sexytime! This show can be so weird.
Why.
Inappropriate dancing interlude with Mia and Marizza! Wacky sports montage with Nico falling on his face! Nico catches the soccer ball with his hands because he’s a nerd and bad at sports, get it? He’s all sad and has to ask Manuel for help. I don’t know why Nico suddenly cares about being good at soccer. Then Pablo pulls down his shorts in the middle of a game, then Manuel jumps on Pablo to defend Nico’s honor. This would make a lot more sense if there were dialogue, instead of just early 2000s Eurodance playing in the background.
Tomás somehow hasn’t noticed the person wrapped in a bedsheet standing behind him the entire time, so he gets up to go. Then Vico jumps on him and he shrieks in horror. WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS? WHAT IS HAPPENING? She tells him that she didn’t want anyone to see her come in. Because a person draped in a giant white sheet walking the halls is definitely less conspicuous. Tomás is all like, “No! I could never betray Pablo!” but then Vico’s like, “Why not?” and Tomás is like, “Idk” and they make out. Tomás is so very weak.
Peter secretly gives Mia a photo of her mom. She cries over how pretty Mama C was. Aw!
Cafeteria. Marizza and Lujan fret over Nacho, Manuel and Mia bicker, blah blah UST blah. Mia flounces off, and Marizza cheerfully welcomes Manuel to the “club of people who hate Mia.” Manuel asks what Mia did to her, which is a legit question. Then he disappoints me by taking Marizza’s side in the whole dance team thing and helps her hatch a plan. Naturally we don’t hear it (like it’s not going to be revealed in five seconds anyway), but Marizza loves it and starts dramatically kissing Manuel on the cheek. A good time for Feli to walk in! She immediately gets on Marizza, who responds by calling her a cow. Manuel is a dick and pins the whole thing on Feli for being insecure, which is true, but also not the entire point here? He snaps that Marizza is a way better person than Mia. Feli’s self-esteem is too low to point out that Mia has never made fun of her weight, while Marizza does it at every turn, but whatever. Dump him, Feli! Sadly, she won’t.
Pablo and Tomás try to do their homework, and Vico shows up. Tomás starts dropping books and knocking shit over everywhere, because he has zero chill. “Why do we have to do this ethics assignment?” Guido derps. Why, indeed.
Mia cries some more over her mom, and then comforts Feli over the Manuel/Marizza thing. She tells Feli that she has to be more sure of her self-worth, because she’s more than her appearance. Mia is too good for everyone in this school.
Nacho sneaks into the school just as Marizza is talking to a teacher and she has to fake the whole conversation like the kid isn’t sitting under the table with her. Then the teacher leaves. Then they smuggle Nacho to their room in a bag, then Dunoff shows up just as they’re about to open the door. Hijinks, I guess? I care so little I almost passed out.
Manuel throws darts at his door while imagining Mia’s face. That’s not disturbingly violent at all! Papa C shows up, for…reasons. I don’t know. I bet they’ll have another conversation while Manuel pretends to be interested in his business, and then gets mad when Papa C thinks Manuel is interested in his business. Common sense is not a friend to any of these kids.
Leave a Reply