50 more episodes! 50 more episodes of this show, and yet we are nowhere near any of this shit getting resolved. Like, I know they’re going to introduce several more plotlines before this show ends, so can we just hurry up and get rid of Javier and Blas and Maxi now?
Previously on Rebelde Way: Papa B started a bunch of rumors about Sonia like they’re in high school. Marizza’s contemplating throwing a rock at him, but then Pablo comes up and is like, “Dude, I only have one parent left, can you not give him a head wound?” Oh, Pablo, like anyone on this show has any functional parents anyway. Apparently you don’t even need them to enroll in school, as Vico and Lujan have shown us. Anyway, Papa C does not get beaned with a rock. How anticlimactic.
Pablo points out that if Marizza hits Papa B, he’ll really have a reason to expel her. Marizza’s like, “Oh, right.” She asks why he’s helping her, and Pablo’s like, “Because I…am not actually a terrible person? And I did not, in fact, help spread rumors about your mother?” Marizza’s like, “Ugh. I guess.” Pablo sighs that it hurts that she’s apparently the only person on this show who can remember what happened in previous episodes and that she’s never done with her grudge against him. I mean, yeah, in fairness, if this was anyone else, it would’ve been forgotten in 10 episodes. Rough life, Pablo.
Lalo sees Maxi and Feli come into the cafeteria and stares at them saltily. Maxi is berating Feli for the way Mia and Vico confronted him, and he tells her that they’re not really her friends. For some reason. Lalo hovers at the table to try and glare at them, but Maxi and Feli are like, “Ew, get your working-classness away from us.” Maxi goes on about how Feli has to break up with her friends: starting with Vico, who is CLEARLY having sex with that weird emo kid. Feli’s like, “OMG, Vico, having sex? Never!” What? Feli, do you even go here? Admittedly, I can see how it’s hard for her to believe that Vico and Rocco have already had sex after dating for like three days. Lalo eavesdrops on them through this whole conversation, and accidentally-on-purpose dumps some candy on Maxi. Maxi is all, “How dare you, peasant!” but Feli covers for Lalo because this show can’t make up its mind on whether or not she hates him.
Papa B brings the fake Sonia story to Dunoff and is like, “This story is a disgrace! We should definitely expel Marizza right now! Let’s get cracking!” Dunoff’s like, “I don’t know, aren’t we being kind of hasty?” Papa B’s like, “I don’t know, do you want to get set up with a pair of cement boots or not?” Dunoff wibbles until the bell rings and saves him from having to answer that. Papa B calls Etchamendi and directly requests a meeting with the school board.
Mia texts her dad, wanting to know if he’s okay. Aw! Then Francisco comes in and he’s like, “It’s super awesome that your dad punched out Papa B! What a legend!” Jesus, Francisco, read the room. Mia whines that her dad isn’t THAT awesome since he wouldn’t let her go out with Francisco this weekend. Francisco kind of awkwardly segues into talking about how it’s different now that Mia doesn’t date Manuel — somehow — and Mia’s like, “Oh, btw, Manuel broke up with Sabrina!” Remember when Francisco liked Sabrina? Man, that was ages ago. Francisco says he already knew, and Mia’s like, “Well, tell me everything! Is he going to call me? Is he still in love with me?” The way they portray Mia as being fickle over Manuel and not like, a real victim of his asshole violent personality, is so very gross. Francisco calls her out on thinking Manuel is going to get back with her just because he and Sabrina are over.
Marcos is in the lounge, refreshing his email every 10 seconds for an email from Lujan. On dial-up? He has to have been there for hours. By the way, considering that Laura is supposed to be nerdy, it’s wild that she’s always running around with her midriff and two inches of her pelvis showing.
Laura says that she’ll update Marizza, but Marcos tells her to lie and say that Lujan sent an email just to calm her down. In the meantime, Lujan never told HIM not to find out where she is, so he’s going to so save her for great justice. Because he still liiiikes her, and I am here for it because I am trash for Marcos and Lujan even though he is a terrible person. I’M NOT PROUD OF MYSELF.
Pilar rants to Tomás that Sol wants to be friends again and Belen and Fernanda are falling for her BS because they’re dumb, but like, what is she supposed to do? “IDK, find another friend?” Tomás asks. Pilar doesn’t understand, Tomás clarifies: “You know, for Pablo.” Pilar: “Why do I always get the feeling that you’re not listening to me?” HEE. Tomás is like, “So…were we not talking about you going on a double date with me and Pablo?” Oh, Pilar. I am equally trash — if not more so — for Tomás and Pilar, but she really can do better.
Javier and Marizza go for a walk. Javier says he has to tell Marizza something, then goes in for a kiss. What? That’s not TELLING her something. Also, haven’t they been dating for a while now? Just kiss her, dude. I hate everything about him. Marizza sidesteps him, though. HA! Shut down, Javier. They go to see Sonia, and Javier’s like, “Wow, she seems depressed. Is it because she really liked Papa C?” Marizza huffs that it’s totally because of the fake news story and nothing else. I mean, if Sonia’s all famous, shouldn’t she be used to fake stories about herself? Anyway, Marizza muses that she should come back to live with Sonia, but then she’s like, “I don’t know if that would be good for either of us!” except she does it anyway so who cares. And then Javier comforts her and keeps kissing her ear and it’s super gross. For a second, Marizza imagines Pablo with her instead. We’re all there with you, dude.
Marcos goes to confront Blas. He starts kicking shit over and demanding to know where Lujan is, and Blas kind of just laughs at him all like, “Bro, I remember when you were a nerd. You don’t scare me.” And then! AND THEN! He snipes at Marcos that it’s a little late to be trying to save her — first he treats her like dirt then dumps her, and now he wants to be her hero? Marcos splutters that it’s not like that, and Blas is like, “Isn’t it?” And Marcos is speechless. OH DAMN. I hate Blas forever but that was an excellent callout. I’m so conflicted.
Pablo accuses Papa B of spreading the story about Sonia Rey. He knows it’s because Pablo is dating (“dating”) Marizza, and he offers to break up with her of Papa B calls the attacks on Sonia off. Papa B’s like, “Wow, you really like this girl.” Pablo’s like, “I totally don’t! I’m offering to break up with her because I hate her, duh!” He says that he’s actually super into Consuelo now.
Mia sees Manuel clutching at his head and asks if he’s okay. Naturally, this just sets him off on how she’s just PRETENDING to care but he knows she doesn’t really, because if she DID she would have slept with him way back when, or at least have the decency to IGNORE HIM FOREVER NOW except if she really did that he’d probably lose his mind that she was moving on. God, I hate him. She asks why he’s turned into such a douche, and he stalks off. Then Francisco comes up and is like, “Hey, have you seen Manuel? You should both participate in our DDR competition!” READ THE ROOM, FRANCISCO.
Marizza and Sonia are all thrilled to be living together again, and Marizza’s like, “So tell me how things are going with Martavio!” Sonia tells her that they’re not getting back together, and Marizza’s like, “So all my scheming was for NOTHING?”
Maxi finally gets his shit together to leave, and he’s like, “I don’t like you being at this school with all these degenerates.” Admittedly, he has a point: Guido rocks up, demanding to talk to Feli. She tells him to go away, and he’s like, “How can I wait any longer to talk about my dick problems!!!” NOBODY CARES, GUIDO.
Francisco approaches Manuel about the DDR competition, except he calls it a “dance machine” because I guess DDR was copyrighted. Francisco says there’s a money prize, and Manuel’s like, “I’m not interested in money” except for how he bleats all the time that he’s nOt RiCh like the other kids, but whatever. He starts whining about how he’s sick of this whole school and like — I don’t know how many more times I can point out that MANUEL LITERALLY DOES NOT HAVE TO BE HERE IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM. Francisco is right here with me, because he tells Manuel to stop being such an asshole, especially to Mia. “It’s her fault I’m like this,” Manuel counters because he is human garbage. Francisco rightly tells him that his douchey behavior is his own problem, and Manuel’s like, “The only reason you could possibly be calling me out on this is because YOU like Mia!” Francisco’s like, “No, literally any sensible human being can see that you’re acting like a complete dickhead,” but Manuel’s off on his crazypants theory now.
Sonia and Marizza are still talking about Martavio. He’s not that interesting, guys! Sonia rightly tells Marizza that she can’t force people together just because she wants it. Everyone is getting told in this episode, and I am living for it. That said, Marizza ignores this advice and calls Martavio and invites him over.
Ines has come by with new underwear for Javier. Papa B’s like, “That’s embarrassing” and I gotta say I agree with him. They discuss his evil plot some more, and Papa B tells Ines that he agreed to back off Marizza for Pablo’s sake. Ines is like, “How nice, now we can all get along and bake a cake full of rainbows and smiles!” Papa B’s like, “Oh no, I’m still going to get her kicked out, but I’m going to do it indirectly now.”
Feli storms into the cafeteria and crazies at Lalo that if he doesn’t talk to her NOW, she’s going to get him fired. She starts yelling that he was watching her all day and keeping tabs on her, and Lalo’s like, “Okay, yes, I was hate-listening to your douchey boyfriend because he is the actual worst.” Feli snipes that Maxi is a good person and Lalo better know his place, or she’ll get him fired. Lalo says that he’s not watching her to keep tabs on her — he’s staring because he likes her. Lalo, why? Feli is the phrase “I want to speak to a manager” personified. Anyway, this freaks Feli out and she leaves.
Javier comes to get his undies and he and Ines go off together. Then Papa C comes in, and Papa B’s like, “Oh, are you here to punch me over some showgirl again?” Papa C snipes that he was defending a woman, and he’s disgusted that his taxes pay for Papa B’s shenanigans. Hee! Vote him out, Papa C! Papa B threatens to ruin Papa C. Mia overhears this and asks Papa B not to mess with their lives, and Papa C drags her away. I gotta say, I don’t recall Mia and Papa B ever interacting before? That was interesting. Anyway, once they leave, Papa B calls his secretary and asks her to dig up information on the Coluccis.
Mia frets to Papa C about his exchange with Papa B, but Papa C assures her that nothing will happen. I bet he’s wrong. Mia sweetly tells him that any woman should be happy to have him, since he was all gallant with defending Sonia. It’s just too bad he can’t date Sonia herself, since she’s dating Martavio and they’re sleeping in the same house and everything. Papa C doesn’t like hearing that at all.
Martavio comes over and Marizza tells him that she’s moving back in with Sonia. Martavio’s like, “Sure, whatever, I guess I’ll go now.” Marizza’s like, “No, you have to help me move back in! And then you have to help me repaint my room and then you should stay for dinner!” She says she wants to paint her room black, because it’s 2003 and she’s entering her emo phase now.
Vico tells Mia that she and Rocco slept together. Then Feli comes in and asks if they did, and Vico gets mad that she wants to know. I mean — that’s fair, in the sense that Vico offered the information to Mia and Feli’s just baldly asking about it. But also, in my experience, teenagers ask blunt shit like this all the time. Feli rudely wonders which number boyfriend Rocco is, or if Vico has lost count. Vico storms out and Mia’s like, “Bro, what is wrong with you?” Then Guido comes in and says that he has to talk to Feli. Feli’s like, “Look, if this is about the dance competition, I don’t care. If it’s about anything else, I also don’t care.” HA! Feli was absolutely terrible through this scene, but this last bit is great.
Ines tells Javier that Pablo and Marizza are going to break up so that Marizza can stay in the school. Javier is thrilled by this, but like…is Ines forgetting the part where Papa B’s going to just make the school board do his dirty work for him?
Pablo goes to do “work” at his apartment with Consuelo. She notices he’s acting off and she says, “I’m not stupid, is something wrong?” Consuelo, I…have yet to see any evidence to the contrary, no offense. Pablo reminds her that they’re here to work, by which I guess he means make out. Then weirdly, Pilar and Tomás come by with Pilar’s cousin, because…Pilar took Tomás’s double date suggestion seriously? Oh, God, is being around Tomás making Pilar dumber? Consuelo is all territorial over Pablo and Pilar pinches Tomás and hisses that he made her bring her cousin over for NOTHING and she’s gonna kill him. Hee. That said, this has to be one of the most unnecessary subplots they have ever thrown into an episode.
Feli confronts Lalo and says that he clearly only confessed to liking her because of a bet with someone, and now he can say that he got the fat girl, so why doesn’t he just admit it now. I mean, I can’t blame her for thinking this is some dumbass bet, because that’s all these kids ever do. Lalo’s like, “You really want to know?” and then he kisses her. Feli kisses him back, and it’s…not as gross as their first kiss? I mean, that’s a low bar, but you know. But then Feli pulls back and tells him that she hates him and runs off. Jesus, Lalo, love yourself.
Francisco rants to Marcos that Manuel is acting like a real douche. “Something happened to him; he didn’t used to be like this,” Marcos says. HA! I love how everyone just admits that Manuel got a personality transplant and is a big ol’ dickbag now. Manuel walks in and is all pissy and passive-aggressive about how he KNOWS they were talking about him behind his back and that’s just FINE because he’s leaving now. Marcos hesitantly says that they’re just worried about him, and Manuel’s like, “No, Francisco is just feeling guilty because he’s creeping on MY girlfriend.” Francisco insists that he’s not creeping on Mia, although he doesn’t point out that Mia isn’t Manuel’s girlfriend anymore, and also that that’s Manuel’s own damn fault. Manuel snarls that it’s just a matter of time before they start dating and storms out.
Michi is in a rush and gives Mia a note for Manuel. Mia’s like, “Oh no, how will I ever deliver this?!” Like…just make someone else do it? Or leave it on Michi’s desk and make her deal with it later? Anyway, Mia reads the note, which is from Manuel’s doctor, saying to call him urgently. She tries to pawn the note off onto Francisco and Feli, but they both blow her off.
Marizza goes over the top setting up candles and flowers at Sonia’s house for when she and Martavio eat. Sadly for her, at this very moment, Sonia is telling Martavio that she’s going to find Papa C.
Meanwhile, Manuel is crazying at Marcos that he just KNOWS Francisco and Mia are dating, and he knows that Mia’s only doing it to get back at him! Oh my God, not everything is about you, Manuel! Mia comes in to give him the doctor’s note, and Manuel immediately crumples it up and throws it away. He starts yelling at Mia and asking WHAT SHE THINKS SHE’S DOING, coming into his room and giving him a note like this! Marcos grabs him to hold him back, and Manuel’s like, “Let me go, I’m not going to do anything.” Really? Because all of his behavior suggests that we’re going to have a repeat of that time he assaulted Mia. (No, not that time, the other time. I know; it’s hard to keep track.) He snipes at her that just because he’s done with Sabrina, that doesn’t mean he’ll get back together with her, because he’s tired of all her games and how immature she is. Because he…didn’t spend their entire relationship manipulating her? I hate him. Mia leaves and Marcos picks up the note and he’s like, “Oh, look at that, that note actually wasn’t from Mia and has nothing to do with your relationship at all.”
Manuel calls his doctor, who wants to meet with him in person. Manuel frets that something is seriously wrong with him. Oh, Manuel. We have known.
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