Previously on Rebelde Way: Lalo kissed Feli! It was not hot at all. Feli shoves him off and Lalo starts yelling at her that he realized that she’s easy and weak and she’ll just go along with whatever a guy wants instead of being ~rebelde. What the fuck! Kick him in the balls, Feli! Sadly, she doesn’t. Lalo elaborates that he means that Feli lets guys walk all over her, e.g. how she stood up Michi the second Maxi wanted to go out with her. That’s true, but how is it any of Lalo’s business and why is assaulting her and blaming her for it his solution?
My blood pressure continues to rise with the next scene. Previously on As Pablo and Marizza Turn, Javier “Lies All the Time” asked Marizza whether she trusted him or trusted Pablo. Marizza’s like, “Well, I repeatedly say that I hate liars and won’t ever trust anyone who lies to me once…so you, obviously.” And then I hit my head on my desk so hard that I have brain damage, which is the only explanation for how I’m still going with this subplot. Just kidding! (Kind of.) (Not really.)
Anyway, they’re all back at Martavio’s apartment for some reason. I don’t know how they got there. Teleportation? Javier and Marizza are yelling about how Pablo is helping Papa B out with his lying agenda, and Pablo is like, “Au contraire, Javier is the one who is lying!” and Marizza’s like, “Stop saying words.” Marizza tells them what she heard about Papa B’s plans for Sonia. Martavio wants them all to work together, but Pablo and Javier both refuse to work together. Javier asks Marizza to choose who she wants to help her. Jesus, you two. Like, I hate Javier as much as anyone, but now would really be the time to be the bigger person, Pablo. Marizza chooses Javier and Pablo storms out.
Over at Casa Colucci, Alejandro is still trying to get into Mia’s pants. She manages to hold him off long enough for Francisco to show up, and Alejandro storms off in a huff. Mia cries to Francisco that the worst part of Alejandro forcing himself on her was that she felt so alone! She wished Manuel was there! WHAT? I don’t even know what to do with that. I’ll just put out there that this is a terrible message to send girls. I sincerely hope nobody is letting this show tell them that you shouldn’t break up with your boyfriend because then he won’t be able to protect you from other men (even if he himself is also a perv).
Martavio chases Pablo outside and tries to convince him to help Marizza. Pablo’s like, “She doesn’t believe me and consistently chooses my lying 40-year-old stepbrother over me for no reason.” He says he’s tired of it, and tbh I can’t blame him. I’m tired of watching Marizza. Martavio’s like, “But I know you want to help her, deep down! Because you love her!” Pablo snipes that Javier can help her instead. Ooh.
Hilda and Papa C go for coffee together and Hilda tries to convince Papa C to get back together with Sonia. He’s all like, “I know she and Martavio are dating behind my back!” and Hilda’s like, “Not…really?” and Papa C’s like, “Well, I’m choosing to believe that.” He walks off while Tori Amos plays sadly in the background. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but between the sitting sadly in the dark and listening to Tori Amos, Papa C is basically me in high school.
Pilar, Tomás, and Guido — but probably mostly Tomás and Guido — have summoned Michi back to school to confront her about the letters. Michi bleats that she didn’t write those letters, she was just…delivering them! For a girl! Who must not be named! But said girl is like, a total hormonal bomb waiting to explode and get her hormones all over Guido. Guido practically passes out from excitement. And just like that, we have extended this subplot for at least another 10 episodes. I’m going to stab myself.
Sabrina waits for Manuel to put her plan into action, i.e. be a Cool Girl and stroke Manuel’s ego while never asking for him to pull his weight in their relationship. Jesus, Sabrina, you didn’t beat leukemia just to live your life like this. Manuel grumbles that he’s just not in a good place right now, and he breaks up with Sabrina. Sabrina has a total wibbling meltdown and I am once again reminded that she is single-mindedly fixated on Manuel for no good reason that I can see. Like, didn’t Erreway play at her birthday party like once?
Michi comes to see Feli and finds her bawling her room. As ever on this show, she’s not upset that Lalo forced himself on her or yelled at her about something that was none of his business. She’s crying because he was right! I gotta say: it’s super fucked up how boys on this show always feel entitled to get upset at girls for not living up to the boys’ idealized images of them, and the girls always end up crying about how the boys were RIGHT and they DESERVED to be yelled at. (Okay, when I say “boys”, I mostly just mean Manuel, Lalo, and Francisco.)
Anyway, Michi’s like, “That’s sad and all, but…hey, two boys in one day, amirite? NICE.” Hee! Then she comforts Feli and Feli apologizes to her for standing her up. Bro, literally all Lalo had to do was say that it was rude of her to ditch Michi. Feli’s like, “I feel so bad, I’ll do anything to make it up to you! I owe you a giant, huge, irrevocable favor! Ask me to do anything! I’ll bury a body for you!” Michi’s like, “Cool, would you own up to writing sexy letters to Guido for me then?”
Over in their hotel room that they really should not have been allowed to book, Vico and Rocco are all postcoital, confirming that they had sex. Just in case you were still harboring the hope that maybe these two deeply traumatized teenagers didn’t jump into bed literally 24 hours after getting together. Rocco is all gushing about how he’s in love and he never wants to be apart from her. Wow, they both really got over their commitment issues quick. Like…I love them together, but…what the hell was that?
Back at Mia’s house, Francisco comforts her and says they should go out to cheer her up. Papa C comes back and blocks them. He starts yelling that Mia isn’t going anywhere — first she was hanging out with Alejandro, now Francisco? Two boys in one day! If he lets her leave the house, she’ll never come back! Mia rightly is offended by that, although in fairness, I think she’s still grounded? LOL, who cares. Papa C snarls at her that if she’s trying to be ~rebelde~ to get back at him, she doesn’t have to, because he’s ALONE IN THE UNIVERSE NOW. He and Mia fight some more over how she’s driven away every woman he’s ever dated — no mention of Mercedes, although I guess she doesn’t really count since she was evil and all — and she’s just being selfish even though he’s given her everything. “Everything except your trust!” Mia bleats. I mean…she was secretly in a teen pop band without his permission and she also ran away with Manuel to the Galapagos that one time. I love Mia, but I’m not sure she’s worthy of parental trust here. She snipes that she’s going back to school, with Francisco — who’s not a boy by the way, he’s a MAN. Hee!
Over at Martavio’s apartment, Marizza chirps that she’s waiting for Javier to solve all her problems, and then they’re going on a date! Martavio’s like, “I don’t know why you can’t just date Pablo like everyone wants you to. I know you want him!” They get interrupted by Sonia, who comes in to tell them that she broke up with Papa C. Marizza’s like, “Great! Now kiss, you two!”
Feli doesn’t want to take the fall for writing Michi’s letters to Guido. They argue about this in the hallway and of course Guido overhears, so there was no point to that anyway. He’s all, “Ugh, so a fat girl was writing to me after all!” He is the worst.
In the lounge at school, the boys and the girls decide to settle who’s better at DDR once and for all. I think. Well, whatever, they come up with some kind of competition and it’s just a plot device to get everyone organized into teams. Sol is sad that she’s alone, and Fernanda and Belen invite her to join their team. Pilar’s like, “So…we’re just relapsing back from that whole ‘We hate Sol’ thing, huh?” She says they have to make sure she meant her apology by seeing if she really breaks up with Blas.
Martavio is doing a shitty impression of Elvis and Sonia looks like she’s dying inside. All of Martavio’s attempts at being entertaining do that to me too, Sonia. Sonia sighs that she just doesn’t feel well and she’s not hungry. Marizza pretends to be sleepy and she’s like, “I’m gonna to go sleep, you two should stay up alone together! When I wake up you’ll probably be engaged!” After she runs off, Martavio tells Sonia that he doesn’t want her to feel pressured into anything just because Marizza wants it. He assures her that he’s not interested in rekindling their relationship. Sonia’s like, “Me either!” and he’s like, “Great!” and she’s like, “Also great!” Sigh.
Pilar goes to ask Blas if he’s dating Sol. He’s like, “Would I still be here if I were dating a student?” Uh…yes? You’ve dated two of them now without consequence? For some reason, though, Pilar is convinced by this. After she leaves, Blas gets a call from one of his minions, saying that Lujan has run away.
The next day, Mia and Feli are in man-hating moods, while Vico is all chipper and postcoital. They bring up that Guido now thinks Feli has been writing him those letters — so, what, does this mean Guido really likes Feli now? Feli pouts that Guido doesn’t like fat girls. But Maxi likes her, so she’s fine! I swear, does Feli actually like Maxi or not? Can they come to a consensus on this? Vico’s like, “Maxi’s a total dork though” and she and Mia bounce off. Feli is emo.
Meanwhile, Rocco is no longer emo and is all upbeat because he’s had sex. I guess he never needs to go to therapy for being abused as a child either! He wakes up bright and early, leaving Tomás, Guido, and Pablo alone. Guido sighs that he doesn’t LIKE Feli, and yet — these letters! “How can someone who eats so much write these things?” he asks. Yeah! How could a girl he doesn’t find conventionally attractive have THOUGHTS or FEELINGS? I hate him.
Fernanda and Belen want to invite Sol to eat breakfast with them — after all, Blas confirmed that he and Sol are no longer dating. Sol didn’t lie to them about that, ergo, she must have also meant her apology. Logic! Pilar’s like, “That is definitely not how it works” but she’s outvoted.
Mia, Vico, and Feli go to breakfast but Feli refuses to enter the cafeteria because she doesn’t want to see Lalo. Mia and Vico are like, “What’s your damage?” and Feli BSes that she promised Maxi she’d go on a diet.
Sonia goes to the same cafe that Hilda and Papa C were at earlier. Her visit isn’t soundtracked by Tori Amos, though, so I care less. She’s just here so that the waiter can tell her that Hilda left her jacket. Sonia’s like, “Hilda leaves the house and does stuff?” and the waiter’s like, “Yeah, she was here with Papa C! Convenient, huh?” Sonia brings Hilda’s jacket to her and asks why she was hanging out with Papa C. Hilda’s like, “I was just trying to get my OTP back together! My husband died after like two days together, let me have fun.”
Marizza puzzles over an email from Lujan (email! So mysterious!) — it cut off in the middle of the email, what could this mean?! Javier’s like, “She probably is just having so much fun in Mendoza that she forgot to finish her email!” He suggests that maybe she just accidentally sent it and Marizza’s like, “Lujan is VERY INTELLIGENT! She would never make a mistake using the computer!” I mean, I guess Lujan knows how to use Altavista, so she’s ahead of everyone on this show in computer literacy. Javier hugs Marizza and I am repulsed.
Marizza frets to him about the rumors that Papa B is trying to spread about Sonia, but Javier assures her that everything’s fine. I bet it isn’t. Then Pablo comes up and says that he wants to use the computer to look for news about Sonia, and Marizza and Javier mock him for not realizing that Javier has already taken care of everything. I BET HE HASN’T. Cut to: Sonia and Papa C in their respective houses, taking out a magazine and a newspaper and seeing “THE UNAUTHORIZED BIOGRAPHY OF SONIA REY” all over the covers.
Consuelo calls Pablo in class, but Carmen confiscates his phone before she can say anything useful. Tomás wants to know what Consuelo was calling about, and Pablo’s like, “Probably about the dirt I’m trying to find on my dad, but I don’t care anymore, because I’m over trying to help Marizza.” Tomás, who has somehow become the most emotionally aware of all the boys, says that Pablo still seems pretty worried about her. And maybe he should help her because it’s like, the right thing to do. Pablo’s like, “Stop saying words.”
Papa B comes out of work — or wherever — to a crowd of reporters. He starts to answer their questions, and then Papa C storms up and punches him. HA!
Back at school, Mia and Marizza gush over the failure of their parents’ relationship. Marizza’s like, “Now my parents can get back together!” and Mia’s like, “Now my dad can be miserable forever!” Does that bring their mood down at all? No, no it does not. Meanwhile, Feli is eyeing Marizza’s alfajor but refuses to eat it. Mia tells Marizza that Feli’s on a diet for Maxi. Marizza acts grossed out by this idea like she doesn’t mock Feli’s weight constantly. Mia calls Feli’s mom and asks for Maxi’s number.
Michi tells Manuel that Sabrina is coming by for an urgent band meeting. This is done through like five minutes of yelling and miming for no real reason. Manuel whines that Sabrina is dragging him down, man, and the Gran Rex show is probably cancelled now because she’s mad.
Feli eats her feelings in the bathroom, and Lalo walks in on her. “This is the girls’ bathroom!” Feli bleats at him. It is? Because everyone is just wandering around that bathroom willy-nilly the rest of the time. Anyway, Lalo’s brought her food, since he knows that she’s avoiding the cafeteria because of him. He apologizes to her and then leaves, which is…better respect of boundaries than most of the boys on this show are capable of. On the other hand, that bar is so low that it doesn’t mean anything.
Martavio comes over to comfort Sonia over the rumors. They muse over how difficult and time-consuming it would be to get a lawyer and gosh, they just don’t know what to do about all this. Sonia wonders if they should give in and pull Marizza out of Elite Way to make Papa B back off, and Martavio’s like, “No! We must fight for great justice! United emotionally and physically, if you get my meaning!” Look, if neither of you are going to punch anyone, I’m not interested.
At the Erreway meeting, Manuel tells everyone that he’s broken up with Sabrina. “I’m sorry and all, but…what does that really matter?” Pablo asks. HEE! Manuel says that he thinks Sabrina is going to mess with the band now that she’s mad at him. “Okay, so when she shows up, I’ll kill her,” Marizza chirps. “I’ll help!” Mia adds. Hee. I love them together. Sabrina comes in and tells them that there isn’t going to be a show at the Gran Rex: there are going to be TWO shows! Ohoho, she got them, hijinks, etc. Everyone falls all over themselves to thank her, and Sabrina says that’s all she came here to say. Manuel offers to walk her out, but Sabrina blows him off. Suffer, Manuel!
Consuelo comes by and tells Pablo that she might have found some incriminating stuff on Papa B. Pablo’s like, “Eh, I’m kind of over this revenge thing now, let’s just forget it.” Consuelo’s like, “Okay, whatever, I’ll agree with you because I don’t have a personality.” Pablo says he’ll go back to the apartment-office with her, but not to work, if she gets his meaning. Consuelo is happy about this instead of reaming him out for totally forgetting about her existence until it’s convenient. Love yourself, girl.
Michi has somehow found out about Papa C punching Papa B and she’s telling the whole school about it. They’re all way more invested in this parental drama than I would have been at that age.
Mia and Vico summon Maxi to the school. I guess Vico’s supposed to help Mia ream him out, but then Rocco shows up. He and Vico start making out and they’re like, “We’re gonna go fuck in the long-forgotten map room or something, bye!” Maxi’s perturbed by the PDA and probably also by Rocco’s early-2000s alternative stylings. Mia confronts him alone about how he’s forcing Feli to go on a diet, and Maxi denies it. He snaps that Mia shouldn’t be spreading Feli’s business around, and Mia says she’ll do whatever it takes to protect Feli. Aw! Mia is a good friend. Most of the time, anyway. Then Feli runs up and she’s like, “Oh. Hi. This is awkward. Your dad punched out Papa B, by the way.”
Michi show Marizza and Javier the magazine cover with the story about Sonia. Javier’s like, “OMG, I never saw this coming! I was tricked, bamboozled, and led astray!” Then Pablo comes in and he’s like, “Wow, I can’t believe this either.” Marizza turns on him and is all, “Don’t act innocent, I know you ASKED Papa B to publish this for you!” and Pablo’s like, “Why is everything you believe the exact opposite of reality?” He leaves, and Marizza storms out too.
She doesn’t follow him, though; instead she goes outside for…reasons of convenience. She sees Papa B in the parking lot, and picks up a rock. It’s supposed to be suspenseful, but like, do I trust Marizza’s aim? Not really.
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