Previously on Rebelde Way: Pablo and Marizza thought that they were going to die, not realizing that they’re the protagonists of this show and therefore have an immortality clause, so they confessed their love for each other and made out. I mean, what else are you going to do during your last minutes, I guess.
Anyway, after the credits, the plane lands safely, and Pablo and Marizza are like, “Well, this is really awkward now that we didn’t die.” All the passengers applaud, which FINALLY wakes Mia up (heh). She’s weirded out that Manuel’s holding her, and tells him to bug off. Manuel tries to protest, but Mia snaps that she won’t listen to him. Fair enough. Pablo blurts out that he’s going to the bathroom and runs off.

Meanwhile, Francisco’s still trying to break into the not-naked girls’ room, and by “break into” I mean that he STOLE THE KEY, so what is taking him so long, I do not know. Am I surprised that Francisco can’t even use a key properly? He finally gets the door open, and he and Guido sneak into the girls’ room like the predators they are. They see a bunch of lumps in the bed, and strip to their underwear and get in with them. GROSS! THIS IS ACTUALLY REALLY GROSS! But it turns out that they’re the girls’ chaperones. And I guess we’re supposed to think it’s funny that Guido and Francisco got in bed with old ladies, even though nothing about this is funny. Anyway, one of the chaperones says that she’s calling the police. Do it! Do it! Chug!

In the woods, Lujan has encountered the dude from the Internet/phone place. He’s the hacker dude that the receptionist spoke of, and he doesn’t really want to help Lujan since she unplugged his game and all. Lujan’s like, “To be fair, that was before I realized that I needed your help.” She begs him to help her and shows him the laptop, and he tells her to get out before he sics his dog on her. Lujan scrambles off into the night.

At the club, Marcos goes off to get a drink, leaving Laura alone on the dance floor. Pato’s friend sidles up to her and says that there’s a super-important call for her at the hotel and Laura thinks she has to leave to take it. Fernanda encourages her to go, and smiles all evilly. This is dumb. Does Pato’s friend even work for the hotel?

Meanwhile, Feli’s being really embarrassing and clingy, and asking Pato if she has anything in her hair or teeth. He reassures her that she looks fine, and a bunch of extras in the background are staring at them while pretending not to.

We cut to: Martavio and Francisco going down to the police station to bail Guido and Francisco out. HA! The officer’s like, “Ah, yes, the molesters.” “Don’t call them that,” Martavio says. I mean…that’s literally what they are, Martavio. Let’s not mince words here. The officer tells them that they have to wait for a judge to decide their case, and they have no idea when the judge is coming in. I hope Guido and Francisco rot away in jail in Bariloche forever. Sadly, this is not to be, because Martavio pulls out his signature move, which is lying that he knows some very important people and they would probably promote this officer guy if he calls the judge down to decide this case right now. The guy agrees to get the judge here faster. Martavio sends Tomás to tell Nacho to look after everyone else at the club, because Martavio is FINALLY realizing that he has to like, actually chaperone these kids. Heh. This is is your own damn fault, Martavio.

Fernanda tells Marcos that Laura left the club with some dude. Marcos is all upset and says he’s going to go back to the hotel and talk to her, and Fernanda’s like, “No, there’s no point in heading back now! Why don’t you stay and dance with me?” and Marcos is like, “Oh, sure, why not.” Fucking Marcos.
Tomás goes looking for Pilar in the club. He bumps into Javier, who’s like, “Sorry, bro, I was too busy watching that chick up there.” That chick is Pilar, who’s on some kind of stage in the ceiling, doing a striptease to “Lady Marmalade.” How very first-episode-Mia of her. Is it a requirement that an underage girl does an inappropriate performance in every season? And I was all ready to just make fun of the fact that she’s dancing to “Lady Marmalade”, because it’s so 2003 it hurts. Tomás tries to get her down, but no one will let him close to her. He finally grabs a microphone and apologizes to her and tells her that he loves her. Ehhh. It’s kind of cute, but also, he totally only cares now that she’s making herself available to other guys. If she had gone on being his girlfriend, he probably would’ve just kept merrily cheating on her.

Laura calls Lola back, and Lola’s like, “No, I didn’t call you, leave me alone.” But since she has Laura on the line, what’s up with that Child Protective Services folder she found in Laura’s drawer? Laura manages to distract her — unintentionally or not — by asking how Lola even got into the drawer, and Lola gets annoyed enough to hang up on her.

Tomás and Pilar go for a walk, and he derps that being in Bariloche made him stupid — “You ARE stupid,” Pilar says — but he didn’t do anything with that girl, he swears. Pilar’s like, “But you were going to,” and she’s not wrong. Tomás grovels some more and promises that they’ll spend the rest of their time in Bariloche together. She forgives him and they make out. I hate that I like them together 🙁

The judge arrives at the station, and Martavio tries to flag her down, but she waltzes right past him. He tries to follow her, and slips and falls on his ass. HEE! Suffer, Martavio. He gets all mad that she won’t come out to talk to him, and the officer’s like, “Well, she’s doing this thing where she has to actually talk to the perps.” Martavio’s all upset that she’s doing it without his supervision — oh, sure, now you wanna chaperone, dude — and the officer tells him that the judge is the mother of two teenage girls, so Francisco and Guido? Are totally dead. HA! God, I hope so! Tragically, however, the judge and Martavio seem to recognize each other, so he’ll probably flirt his charges out of jail, and I’ll be forced to once again suspend my disbelief that anyone on this planet is actually into Martavio.

Back at the club, all the kids are mad that Francisco and Guido have gotten their dumb asses hauled off to jail. What? They deserve it. Chill out a little. Marcos is mad at Laura for going off with Pato’s friend — she tries to explain that she thought Lola called her, but Marcos snaps that he doesn’t believe her. He and Fernanda waltz off together. Laura’s like, “Wait, you’re acting like a douche,” and Marcos literally tells her to shut up. LOL!!! He’s the fucking worst!!!

As predicted: Martavio is stroking the judge’s ego, because LOL all women need is to be complimented by a man and they’ll forget all their principles. This entire Bariloche subplot is some bizarre vortex of sexism and sexual assault, and I am not here for it. Like, I have lowered my standards so much for this show, and it is still disappointing me. Conveniently, the judge is like, “Tell me how your tragic love affair with that chick that you saved from suicide in the mountains went.” Martavio’s like, “Glad you asked, I just met up with her recently and found out about the kid we have together.” Martavio suggests that, being that they’re old friends and all, they let this whole thing blow over. The judge says that Francisco and Guido are being accused of intent to rape, and Martavio’s like, “Oh no no no, I’m sure it’s not like that.” Uh…actually, it’s exactly like that. They stole the key to what they thought was the girls’ room, which they entered without permission, and they got in bed with what they thought were the girls without even telling them that they were there. Like…I’d love to know where else Martavio thinks that was possibly going. Martavio’s like, “But boys will be boys!” HA, HA, HA. I hate him.

Back at the hotel, Sol is fuming because…Pato…seems to like Feli? I don’t know. Wasn’t that her plan? None of this makes sense. Feli comes in, and Sol loses her shit on her, yelling that Feli is fat and ugly and stupid and Sol is going to destroy her. Feli looks a little shaken by Sol’s words, but she dumps water on Sol’s head and Pilar has to drag Sol off. Lujan’s all proud that Feli’s becoming aggressive. Soon she’ll graduate to violence! They bond a little, then Feli brings up that Vico didn’t go to the club. She mentions that Vico was last seen with Rocco, and Lujan’s like, “Okay, you know what they’re doing, right? RIGHT?”

If Lujan means “having deep conversations about their traumatic lives,” then yes, that is what they’re doing. Vico notes that it’s getting late, and he should probably get going. Rocco chirps that he actually thought that they should have a sleepover, and he runs off to get his sleeping bag. Vico emos that all boys are the same, but Rocco’s helped her so much, that he probably deserves “it.” Oh, Vico. She starts taking off her clothes, and Rocco’s like, “Say what?” He tells her that he wasn’t talking about sex at all, and not everyone has an ulterior motive in being nice. Vico is all cynical about how the world doesn’t look like that, and Rocco gets all aggro about how clearly she’s internalized a lot of shit from her dad, and there’s no point in her leaving Buenos Aires if she’s just going to carry all of it with her. I mean…he has a point, but he’s real pushy considering it’s not his life. Whatever. Vico asks if he doesn’t wanna have sex because he’s gay, and Rocco says he only wants to sleep with someone if it ~means something. He and Vico go to sleep, and Vico voiceovers that this is the first time she’s spent a night with a boy without having sex. Dang. That’s really sad.

The next day dawns, and Erreway is still on the plane somehow. Where were they even flying from? Whatever. Even though the flight’s been hella awkward and they’ve been avoiding each other, Marizza watches Pablo sleep and voiceovers that she loves him and wants to be with him. Aw. They get off the plane, and Manuel and Mia wander off to the bathrooms. Marizza’s like, “So we should probably talk about what happened on the plane,” and Pablo’s like, “Oh, that thing! Yeah, I was just playing a joke on you, because…that’s what you do when you think you’re going to die, right? And I thought you were also joking!” and Marizza’s like, “…oh.” Then Manuel rocks up and the conversation is over.

The kids get on a bus to go skiing. Marcos is falling all over himself to show how happy he is with Fernanda, because he’s a douche. Martavio isn’t coming along to chaperone, because of course he isn’t, because he injured himself falling on his ass the other night. Hee! Suffer, Martavio. Guido and Francisco are out of jail, though, and no one in class seems perturbed that they’re hanging around with a couple of attempted rapists. (Pilar pops up behind them and chirps that the not-naked girls have left the hotel, probably freaked out by getting stalked by Guido and Francisco.) Lujan shows up late and says that the random hacker dude is actually the son of a park ranger, and…the receptionist just sent her there for shits and giggles? I have no idea what’s happening, as usual.

Javier ushers the bus along before Papa B pulls up, and he tells Papa B that Pablo was on the bus. Seriously, why is he covering for Pablo? Helping him get his way is not exactly revenge, Javier. Take some tips from Sol, for God’s sake. Papa B says that they’ll just go to the mountain and look for him there, then. Javier tries to stall him, and eventually Papa B’s like, “Okay, I don’t have time for this. You have fun, I’m going skiing.”

Rocco and Vico part outside the abandoned house. She tells him that she’s ready to start her life here, and Rocco speechifies a bit about her inner strength or whatever. He says it’s for the best, and Vico reluctantly agrees. She kisses him and thanks him, and he kind of awkwardly shuffles away.

Lujan makes the bus stop and let her off near the woods, and the driver just lets her, for…reasons. Presumably Nacho is just sitting on the bus like, “LOL it’s totally cool to let one of these kids just wander off on their own! Nothing bad could happen!”
Erreway finally makes it to the hotel, where Javier is waiting for them. Marizza is thrilled; Pablo less so. He’s even less pleased to find out that Papa B is here, and wails that he has to get in touch with him before Papa B finds out that he’s not on the ski outing. Javier snarks that Pablo could be nicer, given that Javier’s been covering for him. I mean, yeah, Javier’s been doing nothing but favors for Pablo around here. Like, he’s lucky that Pablo’s so insecure and unstable, otherwise his whole evil plan would be useless. Marizza’s like, “It is kind of weird that you’re helping Pablo out so much,” and Javier tells her that it’s because she’s in the band and he wanted to help her and get in her pants. He notices that she’s a little emo and hugs her, and Pablo walks in on them.

The kids go up on the mountain to ski — Guido claims that he knows how, so Francisco pushes him and Guido falls on his ass. I guess it’s meant to be funny. It’d be funnier if Guido and Francisco both fell off the mountain, but we can’t have everything, I guess. Sol pouts to Nacho that she’s afraid of skiing, and he agrees to partner up with her. Marcos and Fernanda pair off, and Fernanda gloats at Laura the whole way on the lift. Because Marcos is such a prize.

Papa B shows up and asks after the Elite Way kids. One of the ski employees tells him that Martavio injured himself, so he’s not here with the kids. This dude knows an awful lot about what’s going on, considering he’s just a rando ski man. But not to worry, Pablo has somehow made it to the mountain in record time, and he’s regaling his classmates with stories about tour life. Also, he’s not wearing any winter gear at all. You’re gonna freeze, Pablo. Nacho tells him as much — wow, I was not actually expecting them to acknowledge that, because they don’t acknowledge shit on this show — and Pablo says that he just came to say hi, as he’s also from Elite Way. Nacho says his name isn’t on the list, and Pablo tells him that he just arrived. “You just arrived from where?” asks Papa B. There’s suspense for about five seconds, but then all the boys BS Pablo out of trouble and it’s boring so whatever.

Lujan goes to visit the random guy in the woods, and she spies in the window and sees him boiling a bone or something for this dog. I don’t know. These videos are kind of low quality, dudes. He leaves, and Lujan sneaks in and lures his dog out. She holds it for ransom to get the dude’s attention, and he tells her his name, but I wasn’t paying attention and also I don’t care. (I’m lying. I went back to check, and it’s Pedro. I’M NOT PROUD OF MYSELF.) He tells her that he chased her off last night because he hates all the dumbass normies who come around bugging him. Lujan says she’s not a normie either, and he needles her for…caring so much about her computer? Wait, what? Wasn’t he — in the computer place — OH MY GOD, WHATEVER. The best guess that I’m cobbling together is that the receptionist, like, thought Lujan wasn’t enjoying Bariloche enough, so he played some weird long con with this dude to get her out of the hotel. But I really don’t know, because that’s so mind-bogglingly stupid that I have trouble believing it’s real. Also nobody ever explicitly says what’s going on, because that would make sense and we can’t be having that.

Anyway, Pedro agrees to show her Bariloche if she pays back the breakfast she stole from him. Lujan’s like, “Okay, point me to a grocery store and I’ll buy you food.” He leads her on this whole chase through the woods and they end up by a lake and he’s like, “This is the market! Nature is amazing!” Whatever. This is stupid.
Blah blah snow adventures blah. Laura goes snowboarding down the slope fairly confidently, and Feli freaks out that she’s going to fall over and die. She manages to ski halfway down, and then she loses control and plows into some dude. Let me guess, this is going to be the next Feli boyfriend who will only last a few episodes before turning into a jerk because Feli’s not allowed to have happiness.
At the hotel, Manuel comes to sit down next to Mia. I sincerely hope he’s not expecting her, or anyone, to take him seriously in that hat.

Mia should be grateful she escaped sleeping with this, tbh.
He waxes on about how beautiful it is here, and what a pity it is that they can’t enjoy it. Mia’s like, “Can you leave me alone? Thanks. Bye.” HEE.
Then, because I guess they have “vulnerable girls they can take advantage of” radar, Francisco, Guido, Tomás, and Marcos all roll up to Mia’s table to talk to her. They chat a bit, and judgmentally stare at Sol while she hits on Nacho. Then Nacho suggests that they go out on the slopes, and they all shuffle off. Nacho goes over to say hi to Mia, which Sol does not like at all. She tries to cockblock him, but Nacho tells her to go on without him, as he wants to teach Mia to snowboard. Sol tries to up her ante by faking an injury, but Nacho’s all like, “Rando ugly older guy, help her out while I hang out with Mia!” Heh. Sucks to be Sol.

Outside, Mia sees Pato talking to Sol, and she’s all perturbed, even though she has no idea who Pato is and has no reason to find this odd. Whatever. Feli totters up and tries to say hi to her, but Mia blows her off. Then Mia sees Pato talking to Feli and Sol smiling evilly, but she’s too salty to do anything about it.
Meanwhile, Marizza is trying to talk Javier out of snowboarding, because it could be dangerous for his brain condition. Javier’s like, “Whatever, I’ll be fine.” Almost like he doesn’t have a brain condition at all! Marizza is too emo to go skiing/snowboarding/whatever, and Javier speechifies to her about having a brain condition really made him realize that you gotta live every day to the fullest. That’s so rich considering there’s not a damn thing wrong with him. Well, actually, there is plenty wrong with Javier, but you know what I mean.

The kids are suddenly back on the slopes, even though they had to take a bus to get there in the first place. WHERE IS THIS PLACE. Guido’s passing a bottle of liquor around, but they have to put it away when Papa B rocks up. We get a bunch of shots of the kids skiing, and Papa B challenges them to race down the hill. Whoever wins gets money. That’s unimaginative. They should compete for something way more interesting, like the right to not be thrown into the lake wearing a pair of cement boots when they get in Papa B’s way.
Anyway, they go racing down the hill, and one of the guys wipes out. It ends on a really dramatic cliffhanger, except they’re so bundled up that I don’t even know who this is. Uh…Pablo and Francisco are wearing blue, Manuel has that stupid court jester hat on, and Tomás’s voice is pretty distinctive. Is it Guido? Am I supposed to be sad that Guido fell off a mountain? Because…I’m not. Heh.


Leave a Reply