Previously on Rebelde Way: Most of the class went to Bariloche, where the boys took the opportunity to behave even worse than usual. Meanwhile, Erreway is on a weeklong tour, even though they’re apparently already a household name in Argentina and they don’t even have an album out, so why they need to promote is beyond me. But now Mia is having a breakdown over having to sing with Manuel! What do!
Marizza tells Mia that she knows it’s hard, but Mia has to suck it up and go out there. Mia wonders if Marizza’s speaking from experience, what with Pablo and everything. Marizza’s like, “Yeah, let’s not talk about that.” Mia sniffles that she just can’t do it, and Marizza snipes that when she sees Sabrina, she’ll congratulate her on breaking Mia’s will to live.

Back in Bariloche, Sol and Fernanda have to hold Pilar back from storming over and kicking Tomás’s ass. Hee! Let her go, you guys! Sol’s like, “You have to wait and then serve your revenge cold!” and Pilar wails that they don’t understand and runs away.

The not-naked girls on hitting on Guido and Francisco, for some reason. WHY? THEY ARE TERRIBLE, YOU GUYS. ESCAPE WHILE YOU CAN. Tomás’s girl is also trying to get with him, but he’s being kind of standoffish and cold. I guess we’re supposed to think it’s because he really likes Pilar, but he’s been so enthusiastic about cheating on her that it’s kind of hard to buy. Anyway, Guido suggests that they make plans for tonight, and suggests that they chill in the hotel…say, in the girls’ room? Somehow, this doesn’t set the girls’ stranger danger off, and they suggest having a party.

Meanwhile, all the other kids are chilling on a boat. Rocco tries to hit on Vico some more, but she’s back to being iffy on getting close to him. Marcos and Laura, on the other hand, are all thrilled that Lujan is cool with them and they’re making out all over the place.

I’m really coming to the realization that the only interesting thing about Marcos was his proximity to Lujan and her mysterious childhood and fists of fury. He and Laura are like two sad pieces of stale white bread together. And not even like that delicious Orowheat country buttermilk bread, but like fucking Wonder bread 0.2 seconds after you take it out of the bag and it shrivels up after being exposed to oxygen.
Marizza tells Manuel and Pablo that Mia can’t sing tonight, and they’re like, “Well, we have like five minutes to curtain, so we might as well just go ahead without her.” But then Mia runs up and gets on stage anyway, so all that worry was for nothing. They perform the first verse of “Rebelde Way” and there are lights and smoke machines and a band and everything. Pretty impressive considering they put this tour together in literally one day!

Lujan is at the hotel, trying to break into Blas’s laptop. The receptionist notices and offers to help her, which would be nice if his goatee wasn’t freaking me out so much. He asks if she’ll trust him with the laptop, and she hands it over. Yikes!

Not weird at all.
Feli comes in looking all emo, and Lujan asks what’s wrong. “Don’t laugh, but I miss Mia,” Feli says. I was about to be like, “She’s been gone for like a day,” but then I remembered that Feli and Mia are fighting, so she has slightly more reason to miss her. Lujan makes it all about her and is like, “I miss Marizza, too.” She offers to hang with Feli and have a drink.

Papa B and Javier arrive at the hotel, and Papa B tells the receptionist that he’s looking for Pablo. The receptionist of course can’t find his name on the list, and Papa B is suspicious. Eventually Javier suggests that he’s here under Elite Way’s name, and the receptionist is like, “Right, right, Elite Way is definitely here.” Papa B relaxes a little, and asks the receptionist for two rooms. The receptionist is like, “No can do, we’re booked,” and Papa B breaks out the “Do you KNOW who I AM?” line. Ah, I was wondering when he was going to get to that.

The not-naked girls and the boys go on a hike. The boys ask where they go to school, and the girls say that they go to some Catholic school. Guido pulls the boys aside and groans that Catholic school girls are prudes. Francisco’s like, “Nuh-uh, I heard religious girls are easier!” Francisco watches way too much porn. Tomás is all twitterpated at the concept and high-fives Francisco and Guido. See? Am I supposed to think he’s not enthused about cheating on Pilar when he does shit like this at every turn? The girls come back with their bikes and say they’re going to rejoin their team (I guess they’re also here on a sports trip? Who cares). The boys are like, “Hold up, what about us?” and they’re like, “Weren’t you just saying you hiked up a mountain? You’ll be fine.” HEE!

Back on the boat, Rocco hears a couple arguing over the boat being stuck. He takes the opportunity to entertain the passengers, because I’m sure they really want to hear a teenager wailing away on their guitar for however long they’re stuck there. I had enough of that in college, thanks. Rocco announces that “Vico and Rocco” will be playing for them, and Vico’s like, “The hell?” Marcos and Laura — who I’m realizing are their only other classmates on this boat trip, and Martavio hasn’t even gone along to chaperone — encourage her to go up there, so she does and she and Rocco sing “Nada que hablar.” Everyone loves them, because of course they do.

Somehow the boys have found bikes too, so they’re all biking down the mountain — the girls more competently than the boys. Also hee. The boys consider giving up, but then the girls tell them that if they can’t keep up, they’re uninvited from the girls’ party tonight. Guido and Tomás accept this, because they already have girlfriends back at school and blue balls is not actually a real medical condition.
Just kidding, of course not. The boys decide to try cycling down the mountain, and they all wipe out spectacularly.

Lujan and Feli have lunch together, and Feli rants to Lujan about Sol ditching her on the mountain. Lujan thinks Feli should’ve gotten her violence on, but Feli wails that she’s not brave enough to stand up to Sol and she knows it. And she knows the fight with Mia is her fault, too, and Vico’s too busy with Rocco to give Feli any real emotional support. Aw, it sucks to be Feli. Lujan’s like, “But the guy who rescued you asked you out! A boy validated you, so things aren’t all bad!” She does a whole metaphor thing with a paper boat and setting it on fire, and Feli’s like, “OK, I’ll go out with Pato.” I feel like she should’ve been able to get there without Lujan setting a napkin on fire and burning her fingers, but whatever.

Javier comes across the girls, and for some reason, Lujan is all twitterpated. She’s like, “Feli, does Bariloche make us see things that aren’t real?” Don’t be so weird about it, Lujan. Feli is like, “What the hell is he doing here?” Hee! I mean, I appreciate the sentiment, but he’s your classmate, Feli. Javier joins them and is like, “So where’s Marizza?” like the stalker he is. Lujan and Feli BS that she’s not here right now, but that doesn’t mean that like, she’s not HERE in Bariloche, because she totally is. Not that she’s with Pablo, either, if that’s what Javier was wondering, and they DEFINITELY aren’t together in a place that isn’t here. Lujan changes the subject and asks how he even got here, and Javier tells them that Papa B is here. Lujan and Feli are like, “Yikes” and tell him go back to the hotel while they figure how to cover up Erreway’s disapperance. Javier has never looked less like a teenager than he does in this scene.

The captain of the ship enjoyed Vico and Rocco’s performance so much that he paid them, and Rocco gives all their earnings to Vico. Then the receptionist comes up — I don’t know where they’re meant to be. Back at the hotel? Maybe the receptionist can teleport. Who knows. Anyway, he tells Vico that a call came for her while they were out, and it’s urgent.
Lujan and Feli decide that they have to get in touch with Sabrina, for some reason. So they go to some like…place that exists solely so people can use computers and phones? I don’t know. I would say it’s like an Internet cafe, but there’s no food in sight. The front desk lady tells them that they can’t use the phone, because that guy over there is playing an online game. HEE! Dial-up! Everything about this scene is so 2003 it hurts. Lujan and Feli realize that video game guy is hot, so they try to flirt him off the computer. They ask him if he can pretty please pause his game so that they can use the phone, because it’s kind of an emergency, and he yells at them to shut up. What a charmer, just like every other guy on this show. (Feli, hilariously, thinks he doesn’t speak Spanish: “Speak in English!” she tells Lujan, in English.) Lujan’s all ready to fight him, but Feli drags her off. Lujan comes up with a new plan and gets Feli to distract the guy while she turns off the power strip to the computer. Heh.
So they call Sabrina, who gleefully tells Lujan that she can’t give her the number to reach Erreway — how does she know Lujan’s really Marizza’s friend, and not just a fan? Well, how the hell else does she have YOUR number, Sabrina? Feli tries to wheedle the number out of Sabrina, but Sabrina won’t give it to her, either. She offers to take a message and pass it along to Erreway.

Back at the hotel, Tomás finds a note from Pilar telling him that she made his bed for him. Oh, Pilar, please love yourself. Instead of being grateful, Tomás flips out that if she comes back and sees that the bed is still made, she’ll know he was lying about being sick. That’s your own damn fault, Tomás! He gets in the bed, and then realizes that it’s full of bugs. He starts wailing at the other guys to get them off, so Guido starts slapping him. Heh. Suffer, Tomás.

Over at Erreway’s hotel, Mia thanks Marizza for encouraging her to get up on stage. Aw! Then the boys come in and tell them that Erreway is so successful they get to tour all over the country. The kids all act shocked by this for some reason. People like Erreway? WOW, SHOCKING, A GAME CHANGER. Erreway’s all hype, but then Sabrina calls. Mia gets all emo and leaves, with Marizza following. Sabrina tells Manuel that Papa B has showed up to Bariloche. Wow, I am amazed that she actually passed that message on.
Meanwhile, over at Bariloche: “Are you telling me that Sonia covered for Erreway while they went off on tour without my permission?” Martavio asks. Thanks for recapping the past couple of episodes, dude! He freaks out that he’s going to get in trouble, which — yeah, but that’s kind of your own fault, Martavio, for not giving a shit that four kids were missing from your trip. Papa B and Javier roll up, and Papa B of course wants to know where Pablo is. Martavio, Feli, and Lujan all BS that he’s in the bathroom, and the hotel’s like, really big, so Papa B probably won’t be able to find him, but Pablo’s out of the bath, they’ll send him Papa B’s way! Javier offers to look instead of Papa B, and Feli and Lujan join him, probably to escape this painfully awkward table.

It’s nighttime, suddenly. Vico’s being emo on some hill somewhere, and Rocco has built a fire. When did they even…whatever. They huddle up under a blanket and Rocco asks if Vico called back. Vico says that it was the school, because her dad showed up looking for her and was pissed that she wasn’t there. Rocco’s like, “Didn’t he give permission for you to be on this trip?” and Vico’s like, “Uh…no.” Oh, Elite Way, never change. Her dad wants her to come back to Buenos Aires tomorrow, and Vico’s like, “Obviously I gotta go.” Rocco tells her not to go, and suggests that she stay in Bariloche and become a lounge singer or something. Vico’s like, “Sure, that sounds like a stable future.”

Lujan and Feli tell Javier that Pablo’s not really in Bariloche, but they gotta make Papa B think he is, get it? Javier’s like, “Not really.” Sigh. He slyly tells them that he can help, but they have to tell him the full truth. Lujan and Feli tell him that Pablo’s on tour with the band. Javier’s all disappointed to hear that they managed to tell Sabrina that Papa B is here, but he offers to take care of getting Erreway back in time to avoid Papa B’s wrath. I bet he won’t.
Meanwhile, Martavio is trying to distract Papa C by offering him tea and embarrassing him in front of the hotel staff. Papa B’s like, “You seem nervous?” and Martavio’s like, “Ha ha, do I? Whatever for!” Javier comes back and tells Papa B that the reason Pablo’s been unavailable is because he’s hooking up with some girl and they’ve just like, been banging all day. I’m confused. Is Javier’s whole revenge supposed to be…telling Papa B things that definitely won’t get Pablo in trouble? What a fail villain. Anyway, Javier says he’s going to stay in the hotel with the Elite Way kids, and Papa B’s all delighted that Javier might get laid here too.

Tomás goes to confront Pilar over putting cockroaches in his bed. In the girls’ room, Sol tells Pilar to just deny everything, and she and Fernanda will back her up. Pilar and Tomás leave to go eat and/or fight, leaving Sol to talk through Fernanda’s emo mood. She’s all sad that even Pilar and Laura have boyfriends, and Fernanda has nothing. Sol assures her that Pato’s going to bring a friend to the club tonight, so Fernanda can hook up with him.

Erreway gets on a plane to go to Bariloche. I am so confused. So Sabrina and Javier’s whole revenge is…helping Erreway successfully cover up their escapades? WHY ARE THEY BOTH SO BAD AT BEING EVIL? Anyway, Mia sits down next to Marizza, and Marizza kicks her out of the row so she can sleep. And…Mia just sits somewhere else? That’s not how airplane seating works, Marizza. Anyway, she’s all pissy with Pablo since they had to cut their tour short on account of his dad. Whatever. You guys are already basically national stars, do you even need to be on tour? Oh, and now their flight’s delayed.

Guido and Francisco go to dinner with the not-naked girls. One of the girls sees Tomás with Pilar and is like, “Oh, so Tomás has a girlfriend.” Francisco and Guido quickly leap to correct that WILD ASSUMPTION, because God forbid any of these boys respect the girls they go to school with. Tomás’s date is about to leave, so Francisco drags Javier over to keep their triple date going. Javier starts trying to smooth on Tomás’s date by asking where she bought her sweater, and Francisco is all weirded out because BOYS caring about CLOTHES is GAY, probably. I hate to side with Javier on anything, but fuck Francisco.

Martavio brings Feli over to confront Sol over ditching her in the woods. Sol denies it, and Feli’s like, “How very dare,” and Martavio’s just like, “Whatever” because he doesn’t give a shit about actually chaperoning these kids. Then the receptionist rocks up and tells Lujan that he couldn’t break into Blas’s laptop, but the best hacker in the world just so happens to live in Bariloche. Wow, why do people even live in Buenos Aires? Clearly everyone who matters lives in Bariloche. The receptionist warns her that this hacker dude is kind of cranky and weird, but Lujan decides to go see him anyway.
Some dude comes up and asks if they’re the Elite Way kids. Martavio’s like, “Nacho! What a coincidence that someone I know should be here, hundreds of miles away from Buenos Aires!” Everyone’s like, “What the fuck” and Martavio’s like, “Oh, it’s a long story, but I knew his parents” and you know what? I don’t care. No one cares. Anyway, Nacho is the coordinator of the kids’ activities — assuming they even do any together instead of all fucking off to make out like they have been — and he’s like, “Martavio, bro, what the hell are you doing here?” He thinks the idea of Martavio impersonating a responsible adult is hilarious. Heh. Then Sol rocks up and tries to hit on him, and it’s weird because like, he’s not cute. No offense.

The boys tell Martavio that they’re tired and don’t want to go to the club tonight. Martavio buys this, because he’s in no way qualified to deal with teenagers, which we knew. The boys high-five that they’re free to party with the not-naked girls tonight. Then Tomás rocks in and says that he’s sorted everything out with Pilar, so he’s free to cheat on her again, which means that the three of them are back on and Javier doesn’t get to get laid. I’m playing the world’s smallest violin for him.

From the bathroom, Tomás freaks out, because there’s glue in his boxers, and…he didn’t notice when he put them on, and now his dick is stuck? I don’t know. Guido says that Pilar must be doing this to punish him, and Tomás is like, “How could this be?” Yeah, Tomás, you’ve only been cheating on your girlfriend since you got here, how could she be mad at you?

As revenge, Lujan and Feli lock Sol in the girls’ room after Pilar and Fernanda leave. Feli yells at her that she’s ditching Sol just like Sol ditched her, and then she and Lujan waltz off together. Aw! Pato rocks up and takes Feli away, and they go to the club with the rest of the kids. Javier sees them and he’s really clingy and awkward and trying to third wheel it on their date because he doesn’t know how to act at a club. Oh God, I hate that I lowkey relate to him right now. Anyway, Pato goes to see one of his friends, and they eyeball Laura, for some reason.
Lujan takes a taxi to some ominous part of the road, and wanders into the forest. You know how those hackers love to hang out in places with no electricity or internet connection. She’s like three feet from the road and starts voiceovering about how cold and hungry she is. Someone comes across her and shines a light in her face.

Speaking of ominous places, Rocco takes Vico to some abandoned house. Oh, and she’s blindfolded. Vico thinks she’s about to be serial-killed. Hee. But no, Rocco’s got a fire going and he plans for them to have a romantic night in. He tells Vico that he asked around and found out that the house has definitely been abandoned, so like…if Vico wanted to run away and move to Bariloche and change her name, she could live here. Uh, that’s called squatting, Rocco, and I’m not sure it’ll work out well for Vico in the long run. Vico is touched, and she hugs him.

Erreway is finally on their way, but they’re flying through a big storm, and the boys are freaking out. I think I’ve told this story before in a Rebelde Way post — I’ve written over 200 of these, let me live — but when I went to Argentina on a school trip, we flew through a pretty intense storm and the turbulence was really bad and it was a red-eye flight but I couldn’t get to sleep and me and my friend spent the whole flight watching movies and by 2 AM or something we ended up watching the live-action Speed Racer which was trippy as FUCK and we were dead tired and the plane was shaking and every time I looked out the window I saw lightning and to this day I’m not sure that entire flight wasn’t a fever dream. The end.

Anyway, Mia is passed out, but Manuel’s all, “OMG, I must sit with her! For her own good, obviously.” The flight attendant tells him to sit down on account of turbulence and shit, but Manuel makes his way over to Mia’s row and holds her. She doesn’t even wake up. Hee. The music gets all ominous and there’s a not at all subtle shot of a pregnant passenger and everyone’s freaking out like they’ve never been on a shaky plane before. Pablo makes his way over to Marizza and they hold hands.
Francisco is spraying himself with cologne. Probably Axe. Tomás is still freaking out over his penile situation, and Francisco and Guido are like, “Your medical problem is getting in the way of us getting laid, so…bye.” They go over to the girls’ room and start acting really sus with the lock. Like, why are you acting like you’re picking it? YOU STOLE THE KEY. I hate them.

Erreway’s plane is still shaking like crazy, and Pablo wails that they’re definitely going to die. Marizza’s like, “Don’t be so dramatic,” and Pablo says that he doesn’t want to die without telling her that he loves her. “Me too,” Marizza says, which I figure is as romantic as you get when you think you’re dying. Then they make out.


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