This is related to absolutely nothing in this episode, but do you guys ever just like…remember that Luisana Lopilato is married to Michael Bublé, of all people? What the fuck.
Anyway. Previously on Rebelde Way: Manuel has spent the past ten episodes having an emotional affair with Sabrina, then he actually slept with her, and now he’s mad over one (1) photo of Mia in a compromising position with another guy. Charming.
So Sol’s managed to capture a photo of Mia and Random Rugby Guy that looks pretty bad. At no point does Manuel consider the source, and instead he loses his shit and runs off to go beat up Random Rugby Guy. Sol flounces off, pleased at having stirred some shit. And then Marcos and Rocco roll up, and what the fuck is on Rocco’s head? I mean, more than usual.
Anyway, so the boys’ ingenious plan to get the rugby guys out of Pablo’s room — because I’m sure you care — involves putting a trash can fire in the room, then barging in and hosing the whole room with a fire extinguisher. This feels rather like cutting your nose off to spite your face. That’s YOUR bed you’re hosing down, Pablo! I guess he’s just going to deal with sleeping on crispy sheets tonight.
Meanwhile, Manuel has run off to go beat up any guy that looks at Mia funny, because cheating is BAD and WRONG and he would never abide such a thing in his relationship! Mia has to talk him down (again, some more), and asks him why he’s being so weird and jealous. “Because I cheated on you and now I’m hardcore projecting,” Manuel doesn’t say. He sniffles at her that he wishes he were a better man for her (then act like one, you dumbass), but poor naive Mia assures him that he can be and she loves him anyway.
Sol and Pilar go back to Mia’s room, cackling over their ingenious plan. It’s so ingenious, they’re gonna talk about it really loudly! Sol gushes that she took two photos; one for Manuel, and one for Dunoff. Once Dunoff sees the photo of Mia behaving badly, she’ll get kicked off the cheer squad and Sol will take her place. Or maybe Marizza will just be the lone captain of the squad after that. Or maybe they’ll take another vote, and someone who’s better liked than Sol (read: everyone) will be captain instead. Sol didn’t think this through. Feli overhears all this dastardly plotting, and now she’s troubled: should she defend Mia, her best friend of several years, or Sol, a girl she’s just met who has stolen at least two of her boyfriends?
The next day, Gloria gets all dolled up for the rugby team coach. She’s in a good mood, but Dunoff is grumpy on account of how close he is to being arrested for fraud or some shit. Dunoff asks how the party last night went, and Gloria gushes that it was amazing. She mostly means because she was hitting on the rugby coach all night, but Dunoff is perturbed to hear that the kids didn’t make a giant ruckus or break anything. Hee. He knows them so well.
In the cafeteria, Vico and Marizza — who are hanging out together with Mia and Lujan, for some reason — gush over how hot the rugby team is. Diego and Manuel get all salty, and Manuel says they’ll send the Uruguayans crying back to their embassy. Does Manuel remember that he’s not from Argentina, either?
Tomás overhears Pilar stressing out about her dad, and snaps at her not to tell him anything. Pilar’s like, “What are you talking about?” and Tomás is like, “IDK, but you tell your dad everything, so whatever you’re going to tell him, don’t.” This is all very vague.
Sonia comes to see Martavio. She tells him off for meddling in her relationship with Papa C, and Martavio gets really self-righteous about how anything that affects Marizza is his business, like he’s not her long-lost father who literally showed up in her life like a month ago. Whatever. Sonia says there’s nothing left of the Martin she used to know. What? When did you know him, Sonia? When you guys hooked up once after he saved you from suicide in the desert and then you never saw him again? Martavio says that SHE’S the one who changed, because she was mean to him when he rocked up into her life after fifteen years and started stalking her daughter. Martavio is the worst. Marizza walks in on their argument, and Martavio makes some thinly veiled comments that they were just arguing because Sonia wanted to use his class hours for practice, and HE WON’T PERMIT IT, if she gets his drift.
Marizza thinks that Sonia’s having an affair with Martavio, and Sonia’s like, “Ew, no way.” Hee. Nevertheless, Marizza thinks that Sonia should get a boyfriend who’s not Papa C, because Marizza hates him. See? Marizza knows Sonia and Papa C are dating! What the hell was Martavio on about?
Feli confronts Sol about the conversation she overheard last night. Sol is going to do something to Mia, and Feli wants to know what it is. Sol tells Feli to mind her own beeswax, and Feli says that she HAS to get involved. “Because I like you both, and I want you guys to stop fighting.” FELI, YOU DUMBASS. Why do you like them both? Sol is terrible to you! Sol BSes that it hurt a lot when Feli helped Mia with that whole spa thing, but she forgave Feli, because Feli is her best friend. Fuck Pilar, man. Feli’s dumb ass falls for this again.
Dunoff goes through all the mail that’s piled up since he’s been running away from his responsibilities. He finds Sol’s letter, which literally reads like, “Dear Dunoff, Mia kicked me out of the cheer squad because I’m so pretty 🙁 Please expel her 🙁 Thx, Sol.”
Meanwhile, Mama D is teaching English class. These scenes are just so bizarre to me, because I’m so used to putting my brain in Spanish mode when I watch this show. Anyway, Dunoff comes in and tries to pull Sol and Mia out of class, but Mama D snaps at him that he’ll have to wait until class is over. The Dunoffs start fighting, and Pilar is hella embarrassed. Sol flounces out of the classroom, smiling smugly at Feli as she goes. Vico notices this and gets mad suspicious.
Mia insists to Dunoff that Sol is just trying to steal the captaincy because she’s jealous, and Sol sighs that she’s actually worried that Mia’s morally unfit to be captain. Mia gets real nervous — possibly that Sol is going to tell Dunoff that Mia’s going to sleep with her douchey boyfriend — but Sol merely snips that it’s not very good form for a cheerleader to be sleeping with guys from the other team. And to prove it, she has a photo! Dunoff’s like, “Oh, well, if there’s a photo, you msut definitely be telling the truth.” Let me guess: he’s going to believe Sol, despite the fact that the photo in question has Mia on the floor with a guy and they’re both clothed. Whatever.
They’re interrupted by Gloria, who’s all aflutter that the rival rugby guys have disappeared. Including their hot coach! Oh, the humanity. Dunoff runs off to go deal with this, but says he hasn’t forgotten Mia and Sol. Sol is all salty that her revenge has been interrupted.
The rugby guys haven’t disappeared at all, though; they wake up in the gym, and are mad that they got kicked out of their rooms. Their revenge involves…jumping someone who has just come into the gym, which I didn’t realize was happening because it’s like the most fake beating up ever. These dudes can’t throw a punch for shit. It turns out that the person the rugby team jumped is Dunoff, but he’s all, “It is I who must apologize to you, for the behavior of my students!” One of the rugby guys is all, “Yeah, they’re rude as hell, that’s why we’ve gotta get revenge on them!” Why is he telling the principal this? Whatever. Dunoff’s like, “Okay, let’s calm down a little.” They assure him that if he takes care of it, they won’t jump any of the students, but as soon as Dunoff leaves, they look all evilly at each other.
The rugby coach has apparently just been out with Blas, because they come back to school and Gloria is all excited to see them. Well, one of them, anyway. She gushes over the rugby coach and gets all worked up over kissing his cheek. Then she turns to Blas and is just like, “Oh. Hi.” “‘Sup,” Blas says. HEE. Gloria manages to distract the coach from looking for his team, and tells Blas to go deal with Dunoff.
Mia tells Vico about her possible impeding expulsion, and Vico says that they’ll just go to their room during break and steal the photo.
Sol gushes to Pilar that her plan is coming to fruition. There can only be one blonde girl ruling the school, and it’s going to be her! Sol better get rid of Laura, too, just to close any loopholes. “Sol, do you even realize when a person is upset? I’m upset,” PIlar snaps at her. HEE! Pilar is all emo because her parents have been fighting again, and she snaps at Sol that she thought they were friends, but Sol only cares about herself. I mean, Pilar is smarter than Feli, anyway.
Fake Luciano goes creeping around Harex Industries, and finds some paperwork in a locked drawer. How very Nancy Drew of him. He flips through a few pages and notes that the CEO of Harex Industries is listed as a Ricardo Fara. If you’ve forgotten who Ricardo Fara is — because shit, I’ve forgotten — his name is listed under Blas’s car registration, so he might be Blas’s alter-ego, but when Vico and Lujan went to that jail that one time, they told him Ricardo Fara was dead. Anyway, Fake Luciano only gets through a few pages when one of the bosses comes back. Fake Luciano pretends he was just in here cleaning, but the dude finds his lockpick on the floor.
After class, Mia and Vico make a break for her room, but Hilda stops them and demands their homework. Dude, what is that hat? Why is everyone in this episode making such tragic headgear choices? Anyway, she won’t let them go anywhere until she receives their homework, and their plan to steal the photo is thwarted.
Martavio corners Marizza and asks to speak to her alone. He’s all, “So, did you want to talk to me? Like, daughter to dad, maybe? Figuratively, of course.” His maid told him about Marizza creeping around the other day, and he wants to know what she was doing in his house. Marizza tells him what’s actually the truth — she was looking for a place to put all the stuff Feli had collected for the children’s home — Martavio starts waxing on about how noble Marizza is, like she contributed anything at all — but, whatever, they found somewhere else to put the stuff, so everything’s cool and he can leave now. Martavio’s dumb ass can’t let it go, though, and he says he would’ve liked for Marizza to meet his brother, but sadly, he wasn’t there. “How convenient,” Marizza snarks.
Fake Luciano calls Lujan while he’s still at Harex Industries, like a dumbass. Find a pay phone, Fake Luciano! Whatever. He tells her that Ricardo Fara is the CEO and founder, and Lujan gets all suspicious. He also mentions that he found a very interesting name in the rest of the papers, but before he can tell her, Boss Guy rocks up and hangs up the phone. “I’d like to talk to you,” he tells Fake Luciano. I’m assuming that “talk” is a euphemism for “put a pair of cement boots on.”
Meanwhile, Gloria is trying to hit on the rugby coach. He’s like, “Thanks for breakfast, bye,” and she panics because she’s still trying to stall him from finding the missing rugby team. And also she wants his body. Dunoff shows up and tells Gloria that everything’s been sorted, and asks why Blas didn’t help her stall the coach. Gloria’s like, “I sent him to look for you,” and Dunoff’s like, “Well, he definitely didn’t find me.” Well, whatever, he’s relieved that the rugby guys have been found and he can go back to not doing his job. If Blas wants to commit crime on the clock, that’s his own business.
Then some random girl comes in and tells Dunoff that shenanigans are occurring. Rough life, Dunoff. It turns out that all the boys are fighting with the rugby team in the main hall, while the girls watch all twitterpated, like they don’t see a fight at this school every week. Dunoff and the rugby coach break it up, and the rugby coach is all offended that the Elite Way guys have turned his pure beautiful rugby team into a bunch of thugs, or whatever. Etchamendi and Papa B roll up, and offer to put the Uruguayans up in a super fancy hotel, presumably paid for by some freshly laundered money. They also say that the boys must be punished for acting out, although Papa B pulls Dunoff to the side and is like, “Except for Pablo, obvs,” and Dunoff’s like, “Oh, obvs, for sure.”
Mia and Vico go tearing through Mia’s room, but Sol has the photo already, and she happily presents it to Dunoff. Except it’s not a photo of Mia under some random Uruguayan dude at all; it’s just a picture of her holding a teddy bear. Dunoff’s like, “What the fuck?” Feli is also suddenly in the room, and Sol accuses her of fucking up her plan. Feli snaps at her not to mess with Feli and Mia’s friendship. I’m tentatively optimistic that Feli’s growing a backbone. I think. I’ve been burned before! Anyway, Dunoff yells at Sol for making up stories about her classmates, and Mia, Feli, and Vico are all besties again.
Marizza takes care of Diego after he’s been all beat up by the rugby guys. She’s all offended on his behalf, even though really, I support any and all bad things that happen to Diego. She gets mad that he didn’t tell her that he was also fighting them, and then he gets pissy that she never includes him in her madcap plans, because I guess he’s forgetting that time she made him dress up in her clothes to fool Dunoff? Whatever. Anyway, she says she’ll include him in her current madcap plan, as she needs help pulling off a kidnapping. Diego’s like, “Say WHAT?” Hey, you said you wanted in on her shenanigans, Diego! Don’t back out now!
Mia compliments Feli on actually standing up to Sol, and chirps that Feli is changing, in a good way. She hints that it would also be great if Feli changed some other stuff, too, like…say, her antiquated attitude about sex. Mia tells Feli that she’s going to sleep with Manuel, and Feli’s like, “Ew” (the correct response), but nevertheless supports Mia. Then Vico comes waltzing in and announces that that douchey guy she’s been seeing (Tato, I guess, like his name even matters) wants to go out on another date, and all three girls squeal for each other. It’s sweet, even though they’re all making absolutely terrible decisions right now.
Marizza BSes to Sonia that she needs an excused absence for cheer practice, because she wants to hang out with Diego. Sonia’s all, “Spending time with your boyfriend is a perfectly good reason to skip class!” Instead, Marizza drags Diego to a park where Martavio’s walking his dog. “We’re gonna kidnap a teacher?” Diego derps. Marizza’s like, “What the fuck? No.” Why would you two follow Martavio out to a park to kidnap him when you see him literally six hours a day, Diego? Anyway, they lure Martavio’s dog over and drive off with the dog in their taxi.
Pablo and Lola are basically mauling each other in the lounge (Guido’s also mauling Augustina, but I’m choosing to ignore that, because it makes me wanna vom), and Francisco walks in on them. He pulls Pablo off her and starts berating him, and then Laura runs up and tells Francisco to let Lola live her life. Francisco’s like, “Okay, this is a deeply bizarre change of heart, but okay.” They run off, and Pablo and Lola happily return to making out. Papa B rocks up and demands to speak to Pablo — after Pablo’s had a few minutes to calm down, of course. Even Lola’s like, “That was super embarrassing.” Anyway, Papa B tells Pablo that he’s proud of him for beating up the rival rugby team. It shows that he has the spirit of an athlete, not a musician! Pablo’s like, “How dare you disrespect my dream! It’s who I am, Dad!” Papa B’s like, “Whatever. Also, I’m dating someone else.” Pablo’s like, “Whatever, your relationships don’t last,” but no, this time, Papa B wants to marry her. Because it worked out so well last time.
Vico’s out and about with Tato, but he’s acting kinda shady (ain’t calling me baby) (better say my name), and he goes off to talk to this weird dude. The dude tells Tato that the cops are out, and Tato’s like, “Uh…I’ll be back!” and literally runs away from Vico. The cop approaches Vico and asks to see her ID, but Vico doesn’t have it with her. A few scenes later, her dad has to pick her up from the police station (or wherever). He acts understanding at first, but then Vico tries to blow off going to dinner with him, and he twists her arm and snaps at her not to make excuses. Yikes.
Maria Jesus decides to show up to her job for the first time in like three episodes. She’s all mad that nobody can find Blas, and Gloria’s like, “Whatever, he’s probably out with his girlfriend.” Maria Jesus is like, “But I’m his girlfriend,” and Gloria’s like, “Oh. This is awkward.” Just then, Blas walks in, and Maria Jesus demands to know where he was. Blas is all like, “Ugh, this is why I date high school girls, they never ask me inconvenient questions.” He gets all pissy with her for being pushy, and Maria Jesus caves and begs his forgiveness. She was just so worried about him! I hate Blas for making me feel bad for Maria Jesus. Then Dunoff rocks in and starts ripping Blas a new one for disappearing all day, and it’s glorious. I love when bad things happen to Blas! Blas blusters that he was with Maria Jesus, and Maria Jesus backs him up. Even Gloria is like, “Love yourself, girl.”
At cheer practice, Mia chirps that she has a special job for Sol, since Sol’s the prettiest and all: Sol gets to wear a chicken mascot costume when they perform! What fun! All the girls start laughing at her, and Sonia tells Sol that she has to wear the costume, or she’ll get in trouble for not participating. Okay, see, Sol is a dick, but Sonia is blatantly siding with Mia just because she likes her better, even though Mia is clearly trying to humiliate Sol. Sonia is a terrible teacher.
Sabrina shows up at Elite Way. I almost didn’t recognize her without an ugly-ass hat covering up her head. She comes across Sol, who’s crying in a corner, and asks what’s wrong. Sol snarls that she hates Mia Colucci forever and ever, and Sabrina’s like, “OMG, me too! #Relatable!” She snarks that she knows things about Mia that are less than perfect…particularly her relationship with Manuel. Dun dun dun!
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