So…hey, remember at the end of last episode, where I said finding out that Mia is planning on being sexually active might make Papa C pass out? Yup, there he goes, right on the doctor’s floor.
Pablo tells Guido and Tomás about quitting Erreway to save Guido’s parents’ butcher shop, except he hasn’t quit Erreway at all and he’s just hiding it from his dad, so he’s in the exact same position that he’s always in. Whatever.
Papa C is still freaking out over the concept of his teenage daughter being sexually active. To be fair, I am also freaking out a little over Mia being sexually active with Manuel, because she can do better. Mia yells at him that she’s fifteen years old and she can do whatever she wants, and he can’t hold her back, man! Then she storms out.
Lola and Augustina gush over their respective boyfriends — “When I’m with him, all I care about is Pablo.” “And for me, it’s Guido,” sighs Augustina. LOVE YOURSELVES, GIRLS. I gotta say this is at least not too embarrassing for Lola, since Pablo is one of the least douchey guys on the show at this point. But Guido, Augustina? This is tragic.
Manuel frets to Francisco and Marcos about having sex with Mia even though he’s lying to her and Sabrina’s guilt-tripping him and he also might have an STD. I don’t know why he’s bothering to ask them; their responses are predictably like, “Bruh, you’re getting laid, stop worrying about dumb shit like Mia’s feelings.” Speaking of girls and their feelings, Manuel brings up Fernanda, and Marcos is like, “Pfft, fuck her, I didn’t like her anyway!” That’s why he dumped his first girlfriend for her! Manuel’s like, “Well, that’s good, because she’s over there hitting on the entire rival rugby team.” Then Fernanda waltzes over with said rugby team in tow. The guys predictably get into a dick-measuring contest, and since they can’t wait for the rugby game, decide to compete for their masculinity in a game of pool.
Sonia runs off after Mia, leaving Marizza to take care of Papa C. Hee! They go back to Casa Colucci, and Papa C demands the truth from Marizza. “I’m not a snitch,” Marizza says. Then, half a second later: “But even if Mia was seeing the doctor for herself, why is that so bad?” She defends Mia, telling Papa C that he should be happy that Mia’s taking care of herself. AW! Marizza is really at her best when she’s defending Mia. Papa C tries to pin the blame on Marizza, which is rude as hell, but Marizza stands her ground and snaps that he’s just driving Mia way from him. Good for Marizza. Papa C really has no business trying to blame a teenage girl for his shitty parenting.
Sonia takes Mia back to school, and tells her that if what she feels for Manuel is real (and Sonia thinks it is!) (DON’T ENCOURAGE THIS, SONIA), then Mia should follow her heart. It’s not wrong to have sex, as long as you take care of yourself and like the person you’re with. That’s good advice, but every step that Mia takes towards having sex with Manuel is making me throw up in my mouth a little.
Laura goes to dinner with her parents, and they decide to just drop it on her that Lola’s adopted. Laura’s like, “What the fuck?” Yeah, apparently they couldn’t have more kids, but they wanted Laura to have a sister, so they adopted Lola. Laura’s like, “But aren’t you like, not supposed to treat adopted kids like shit just because they’re not your biological kids? So what the hell happened there?” and her parents bluster that like, Lola was just really hard to raise, so they were just like, “Fuck it” and started ignoring her. You should just give up on kids when they’re not cute anymore! Laura correctly thinks that that’s fucked up, and her parents are like, “OMG, you don’t understand how hard it is to adopt a kid and then, like, raise them.” Aaaand Lola picks that moment to rock up and say, “Who’s adopted?” Oh, dear.
Pilar notices the rival rugby team hanging around, and she runs off to report to Sol. Sol is excited to have a whole new pool of guys to validate her, and gushes that she has a plan to make them fall in love with her and Pilar. (But mostly her.) Feli and Vico walk in and overhear bits of this, and Vico says, “Feli, did you hear? There’s FRESH MEAT in the school.” “Fresh meat meaning…the guys?” Feli asks. Vico: “Obviously.” Hee. Feli points out that she’s kind of seeing Leo, and they’re going out today, so no can do on the fresh meat.
Mia tells Manuel that Papa C knows they’re planning on having sex. For once even Manuel can’t find a way to dismiss her concerns, and he’s like, “Yikes.” Papa C pops up and he’s like, “Yikes indeed!” But no, he’s actually here to give them The Talk. Mia tells him that she’s a woman now, which is sort of endearing in a “why are 15-year-olds like this” kind of way. Manuel tells Papa C that he loves Mia with all of his soul, which I guess is why he cheated on her when she wouldn’t put out, but whatever. Papa C points out that he knows that Manuel thinks he would never hurt Mia, and Mia gets all salty that he’s implying that Manuel MIGHT. Uh, maybe I’m just bitter and cynical, but Papa C’s advice is way more practical than Sonia’s (who was all, “As long as you’re using protection, your love will last forever and you’ll never break up!”). But whatever. Papa C gives them his blessing and promises not to interfere.
They have this entire conversation in the cafeteria, by the way. I bet Ana regrets quitting her job now, because she is missing out on some good gossip.
The rival rugby team kicks Elite Way’s ass at pool. In total fairness, it seems like it’s pretty much that entire team versus Francisco and Marcos. The dumbass thing is that they already decided earlier that the only thing the winning team will get is a kiss from Fernanda, who Marcos and Francisco already hate, so like…why would they even care about winning. Whatever. The rival team is also cheating, but nobody notices. They win, of course, and Marcos’s newly douchey, overly-concerned-with-his-masculinity ass tries to throw down. Marcos? You are still a nerd. Half that school could beat you up. You’re lucky LUJAN didn’t want to beat you up when she found out you were cheating, because I’m pretty sure she could’ve taken you. Anyway, Dunoff arrives and announces that the rival rugby team will be sharing rooms with the boys. Because those dorms aren’t crowded enough already. It’s like a really jank sleepaway camp.
(I should add that the rival rugby team is from Uruguay. They’re not just like, staying over for the hell of it when their houses are down the street.)
Martavio comes to see Sonia, and she tells him that Marizza went to his house. She’s a little more relaxed now that Marizza’s agreed to stop investigating, although Sonia also adds that Marizza could’ve just been lying to get out of trouble. Hee! Sonia has her number. Martavio’s like, “Our daughter would never, she is pure and noble of spirit, and would never lie!” Ha! Martavio, you’re so naive. Then Papa C shows up, and he and Martavio immediately get into a pissing match over Sonia. Martavio snides that Marizza clearly doesn’t know about Sonia and Papa C (she doesn’t? She literally hasn’t noticed that they spend all their time together?) and she has a right to know, and Martavio might just tell her. “I forbid you from continuing this relationship,” he snaps. Papa C starts laughing in his face, which is honestly the correct reaction. GO AWAY, MARTAVIO.
Blas calls his shady friends at Harex Industries (on a school phone, for some reason. Separate your work life and your crime life, Blas!), wanting to know where the hell Fake Luciano came from. He finds out that Sonia recommended him, and he’s all, “Say what?” But then Dunoff and Gloria come in, with Dunoff saying that he wants Blas and Gloria to throw a welcome party for the rival rugby players. Blas is like, “Sure, whatever, brown-nosing, whatever,” but Gloria loses her shit and storms out. That’s kinda like how I quit my last job, although I lost my shit when complaining to my mom about it.
Some of the rugby dudes hit on Vico and Marizza. Diego gets all salty and drags Marizza off, shrieking that she’s HIS girlfriend!! HIS!! SOOKIE IS MINE!! Vico’s low self-esteem is pleased to have both boys all to herself now. Then Mia and Manuel walk into the cafeteria, and one of the rugby guys apparently recognizes her. He greets her, and Manuel gets all pissy, even though Mia says she doesn’t remember him. Manuel almost starts a rumble with the rugby guy, telling him to stay away from his girlfriend. “Guys, stop! I know I’m pretty, but please,” Mia says. HEE! God, I love her.
Sol, however, does not love her. She gets all mad that Mia is stealing the rugby guys’ attention.
Back at the most awkward family dinner ever, Laura and Lola’s parents quickly make up an awkward lie about how some family friends are adopting. Laura’s like, “Oh, are they? Gosh, why would you guys make a big deal out of that, hmmm?” and eventually even Lola’s like, “Okay, I’m not THAT stupid, something is clearly going on here.” She snaps at them to stop treating her like a child and storms out. Their parents are like, “See, this is proof that she’s adopted!” and Laura’s like, “Dude, every shitty teenager that I go to school with acts like that.” Then, to prove it, she also storms off.
The rugby coach goes to the cafeteria and runs into Gloria, and Gloria’s all blown away by how hot he is. He’s really not that good looking. Damn, Gloria must be lonely. Once she finds out that he’s going to the welcome party, she’s all about helping plan it.
Pablo, Guido, and Tomás are over at Pablo’s apartment, entertaining a bunch of girls who really should know better. You know, one day they are going to run out of girls with low self-esteem in the greater Buenos Aires area, and then what are they going to do? Anyway, Lola shows up, and Pablo’s all like, “Omg, how could this be happening to me!” Oh no 🙁 Why does your girlfriend have to make it so hard for you to cheat on her 🙁 So he blows off his emotionally fragile girlfriend, although he does have the grace to look guilty. He doesn’t feel bad enough to actually stop cheating, though. Then they’re interrupted by a call from Francisco, who wants Tomás to come back to school, because the rugby guys are stealing all the girls. And…he thinks Tomás is going to do something about that? Manuel wasn’t afraid of Tomás, even when he was wearing those dumbass orange pants.
Over at the party, the rugby guys are still stealing all the girls, with the exception of Lola and Augustina. Augustina, bless her, is patiently sitting and listening to Lola be emo. Sol gets mad that all the boys are paying attention to Mia, so she goes and starts a dance off with her (to “A quien le importa” by Thalia, because this show is so early 2000s it hurts). Mia almost wins, until Manuel’s bitter, jealous ass hauls her off the dance floor. Blah blah all the other guys are also acting like idiots blah. Rocco runs into Vico and is all passive-aggressive that she’s paying attention to the rugby guys. Vico’s like, “You’ve been following me for like two hours, so knock it off.” Two hours? Jesus, that’s weird, and I usually like Rocco. Why are all the boys trying to make me hate them?
Laura comes back to school and tries to be nice to Lola, now that she knows that Lola’s not her biological sister and also that their parents are assholes. Lola is weirded out by this, but softens a little towards Laura. Then Leo shows up and asks Lola and Augustina where Feli is. They run off to ask Vico, and Vico is confused, because Feli left earlier, saying she was going out with Leo.
I’m starting to feel kind of bad for Leo. He’s way more loyal than most of the guys Feli’s dated, and she’s swerving him for absolutely no reason. Stop self-sabotaging, Feli!
Augustina tries to get Lola to dance, but Lola runs away, saying she only wants to dance with Pablo. In a corner, Marizza sulks, because she too only wants to dance with Pablo. Aw.
Mia takes Manuel out to the hallway and tries to talk down her hypocritical dick of a boyfriend. Mia thinks it’s cute that he’s jealous, and assures him that she would never want to be with anyone else, not while she has him. Just like how he’d never want to be with anyone else while he’s with Mia, right? Manuel’s like, “Ha ha, totally, I would never cheat on you with some random girl and then continue to have an emotional affair with her, that’s so unlike me.”
Vico grabs Mia to go find Feli, and they find her in the laundry room, sadly putting together presents for the children’s home, because she has gone completely insane. Vico and Mia are like, “Okay…so then why did you lie and say you were going out with Leo…” and Feli starts crying that she didn’t want to go to the party, because Vico and Mia go off and have fun without her, and all the boys ignore her. Which…okay, I wrote this whole paragraph about Feli literally has a boy waiting for her right now, so she’s not very believable as the ugly friend, except Leo’s just here to ask Feli to give a present to Sol. Then he peaces out. What the fuck, Leo! And I was defending you for being a slightly better boyfriend to Feli than most other guys! You’ve made me look a fool! Fuck you and your ugly-ass turtleneck.
Feli doesn’t have the self-esteem to ream him out for being a dickhead, so she puts the present in Sol’s room because she’s a doormat. Sol assumes that it’s from Marcos. Look on the bright side, Feli: you don’t wanna date a guy who can’t even sign his name on a present.
Marizza asks Lola why she’s so emo, and Lola sighs that she’s not in a good mood, and Pablo’s off hanging out with Guido’s mom. Marizza’s like, “And you believed that?” She starts warning Lola way from Pablo, but then Pablo waltzes up and tells Lola that he didn’t want to leave her alone. It would be sweeter if Pablo wasn’t looking at Marizza all smug over Lola’s shoulder, though.
The party eventually winds down, and the guys go their rooms. They’re not happy to find the rugby guys in there, and everyone takes a different tack: Pablo, Guido, and Tomás try to fight them, and end up getting kicked out of the room, as the rugby guys are built as fuck. Shouldn’t have skipped leg day, Guido. They end up sleeping in Dunoff’s office and chugging all his liquor. Manuel, Francisco, and Marcos, on the other hand, manage to successfully annoy the rugby guys into leaving their room. I mean, I can definitely believe that those three could annoy someone into sleeping outside.
Papa C is still kinda freaking out over Mia having sex with Manuel. Sonia talks him down, and he gets all mushy over how she’s helping him raise his daughter, and Mia needs a mother figure. It’s sweet for about five seconds, and then Papa C starts getting all salty over how Sonia used to like Martavio, and she probably still likes him. What? Dude, she slept with him once in the ’80s. People did a lot of weird shit in the ’80s. Why are all the men so insecure in this episode? Sonia’s like, “No, you dumbass,” and they make out.
Sol runs into Marcos, and she thanks him for giving her the book of love poetry. She just knew he was crazy about her? Marcos gets all flustered and says, “Uh, sorry, but…there’s literally nothing between us. Bye.” Heh. That is so awful that it goes right back around to being funny. Mia overhears this, and starts making fun of Sol. Sol snaps at her that Mia better laugh it up now, because soon Sol is going to end her. Mia’s like, “Sounds legit.”
She goes back to her room, and find that one rugby guy hanging around outside. He tells her that Manuel annoyed her out of his room, and then when they went to complain to Dunoff, he kicked them out. “He”, of course, was Pablo, who was trying to get the rugby guys to go away so he could do some underage drinking in peace. Mia says the rugby guys can sleep in the gym.
Sol drags Pilar outside, saying that they have to find a way to destroy Mia. “But it’s cold, and I’m tired,” Pilar whines. HEE. They overhear Mia taking the rugby dude to the gym, and Sol follows her with a camera. Mia and the rugby guy conveniently fall on the floor together, and Sol takes a picture of him lying on top of her. Somehow, nobody hears the loud-ass sound of the Polaroid being printed. Seriously, can none of these rich kids afford a digital camera? It’s 2003!
Pablo, Guido, and Tomás call the other boys into Dunoff’s office (where the hell is Dunoff, anyway?) to figure out a way to get rid of the rugby guys. “Uh, we already got rid of them on our own,” Manuel points out. Pablo’s like, “Whatever, are you gonna help us or not?” They set off to go get the guys out of Pablo’s room, but before they can do anything, Sol rocks up and shows them the photo of Mia and the rugby guy. Manuel’s like, “How dare Mia cheat on me! I would never!”
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