Opening monologue: Life is always a surprise; we can get turned around but then finally find each other and get to know one another.
We pick up where we left off. Papa B’s like, “There’s Pablo!” and Guido’s like, “No! You must not talk to him, for reasons!” Why Papa B thinks he can talk to Pablo anyway, I do not know, because he’s out in the rink anyway, playing in the match. Ah, and I see, it’s Tomás dressed as Pablo and goalkeeping in his stead. And not very well, I should add.
Poor dumb Tomás.
Blah blah watching Tomás flail around the hockey rink blah. Papa B’s like, “The fuck is wrong with you, Pablo! I’m going to kill you when we get home!” Nice going, Tomás. For real though, Tomás kind of gave me dumb jock vibes, I’m surprised he’s so crap at this. Anyway, after the game Papa B heads over to tear “Pablo” a new one, while Guido tries to head him off. It’s pretty ballsy of Guido to keep trying to undermine Papa B, I must say. Papa B shrugs him off and yanks off Tomás’s mask and is all, “WHERE IS PABLO?”
Meanwhile, Pilar’s pregnancy test comes out negative, to the surprise of absolutely no one. She cries tears of happiness and tells Luna that she’s never letting this happen again; her whole relationship with Joaquin already feels like a “faraway dream.” I mean, he did leave seven whole episodes ago; that’s nearly a lifetime by this show’s standards. Anyway, she doesn’t want to talk it out with her parents yet, because they’ll just cry and lecture her. Luna says, “I’m sure that’s how they show that they care,” and Pilar’s like, “My parents, caring about me? What a concept.”
Vico knocks on Marizza’s door, and Lujan opens it dressed to go out. She tells Vico that she’s going to the prison to ask about Ricardo Fara. Vico’s like, “Are you crazy? You can’t go alone!” “So are you coming with me, then?” Lujan asks. Aw! I love them!
Lujan looks quite cute with her hair like that, just saying.
Papa C’s brother (“Luca”) shows up to Casa Colucci, and Mercedes is all happy to see him. She’s like, “Papa C is out with Mia, but let’s go surprise them! I bet they’ll love it!” I bet they won’t.
Papa C’s out with Mia and Manuel at some park near a harbor. He’s all like, “Manuel, have you heard that Mia’s in love? She’s a much nicer person now!” Manuel’s like, “You don’t say!” Then Papa C sees some photographers setting up by the boats and goes on a rant about how they’re disrupting the sanctity of Sunday brunch with their fashion shoots or whatever. It’s just a clunky segue into Mia bringing up that her uncle is a fashion photographer, and Papa C’s like, “Yeah, and he’s kind of a douche, so point made.”
Marizza calls Guido, and pretends to be Mia to wheedle Pablo’s whereabouts out of him. Pablo’s at the mall with Paula, where she’s set up a stand to sell her stuff, because Etsy hasn’t been invented yet. It looks like she makes pottery or something? Wait, who cares. Pablo’s all like, “Ugh, why are we here, why don’t we just go back to Facundo’s place and have sex,” and Paula’s like, “Because I need a job, fool.” Paula walks away and Marizza rocks up and yells at Pablo for lying to Papa B about them sleeping together. Pablo’s like, “Please, he’ll never find out.” An excellent time for Papa B to show up! He starts reaming Pablo out, and Paula comes back, but runs away when she sees Papa B. Marizza is suspicious.
Luna futilely tries to do homework in the library when Nico comes up and tries to get her to talk to him again. She tells him Pilar’s not pregnant, so everything’s fine now, but he’s still a dick. Nico’s like, “But, but, the peer pressure to ostracize Pilar from all of our doings!!!” Luna snipes that Nico should go hang out with his girlfriend, but Nico says Tatiana’s on a trip with her friends. How old is Tatiana? She can just skip school and go off with her pals? Anyway, Luna’s like, “Hmm, so you’re alone and bored, so now you want to hang out with me?” Heh. She’s not wrong. Nico’s like, “Well I mean…yeah, what are you doing today?” Luna snaps that she’s going out with someone and peaces out. Hee!
Mercedes and Luca roll up to Papa C’s party, and Mia immediately flips out. Manuel’s like, “Chill out, dear.” Heh. Papa C’s happy to see Luca, which is weird, because I thought there was going to be drama there. It’s also mentioned that Luca is the older brother? I don’t always pay as much attention as I should, but I’m pretty sure I heard that. And yet…
In what universe is he supposed to be older?
Anyway, Papa C suggests they all take a ride on his boat, because of course he has a boat. But lo, the docks are blocked off by the fashion shoot, and of course the model is none other than Sonia. Papa C’s all pissed, but then there are a bunch of gratuitous shots of Catherine Fulop in a bikini, and Luca’s all like, “No, no, let’s stay and watch.” Mia calls Sonia over, and she and Luca are all twitterpated to meet each other’s respective hotness. Luca invites Sonia on the boat with them, which Papa C is not pleased about at all. And why is Pepa dressed like she’s going boating in 1910?
Vico and Lujan go to the jail, which looks like something out of a low budget Italian comedy from the ’80s.
Is that a typewriter? This is the most budget jail ever.
Lujan says that they want to see Ricardo Fara, and everyone’s all like, “RICARDO FARA? You want to see RICARDO FARA? RICARDO FARA?” Vico panics that something weird is going on, and she wants to back to school — but if Lujan’s staying, Vico will stay too. I LOVE THEM. The guard snarls that Ricardo Fara never got any letters or visitors, but now two teenage girls want to visit him? Oh, and also Ricardo Fara is dead. Way to leave that for last, man. Vico starts crying, and the guard starts interrogating them about what they’re really doing here. Lujan finally comes up with the age-old “school project” excuse: she says they’re researching Argentinian criminals, and they found Ricardo Fara’s name online. The guard’s all like, “I know you’re lying, because that’s impossible!” I mean…they found out he was in jail from Altavista, so…clearly not impossible. Then again, this jail is still using a typewriter, so what do they know? Finally another guard rocks up and says that there is indeed a page about Ricardo Fara online, and they let Vico and Lujan go. They get back to school and realize the guard just gave them another place to search for info on Ricardo Fara, and they’re all twitterpated, and kind of in love?
They google Ricardo Fara again, but the page doesn’t say anything about Blas and they’re like, “Huh. This is anticlimactic.” Then Blas waltzes right into the room, as usual. He sees the computer and they BS that they’re doing history homework and he’s like, “Okay, even I think this is getting stupid. What do you want to know?”
The Coluccis are being awkward on the boat together. Mercedes is like, “Ahaha, speaking of Sonia, she told me she made out with you, that’s hilarious, right?” Papa C’s like, “I was drunk!!!” Mercedes is pissed, as she should be, tbh. I feel kinda bad for her. Papa C is just never gonna like her best. Meanwhile, Manuel’s like, “Wow, hanging out with your family is super weird when I came here specifically to stab your dad in the face.” Mia wants to know about La Familia Aguirre and he’s like, “There’s not much to tell, I haven’t talked to my mom or my tiny lisping sister in 75 episodes.” Does Manuel even remember they exist? Anyway, Mia needles him for details and he gets pissed at her.
Nico follows Luna to her “date”, but she’s actually going to go be emo in the cupboard under the stairs. He’s like, “Omg Luna, why are you avoiding me, I’ve never done anything wrong in my life ever.” Luna points out that he was a total douche over the Pilar thing, and he’s like, “It’s not my fault everyone else hates her!” Take responsibility for yourself, Nico! Nevertheless, he does point out that Luna’s willing to hear out everyone else except him, and she admits he makes her upset and she says “the opposite of what [she means].” “So…you do like me?” Nico says. That’s not the point, Nico! They make out, without resolving any of their issues at all.
Papa C’s still being cranky on the boat. Luca and Sonia are getting on like a house on fire and he’s like, “Ugh, everyone needs to stop having fun right now!” He storms up to them and tells Luca that Sonia’s only after his money. Sonia’s rightly offended. It’s not like she doesn’t make a ton of money on her own. Anyway, she yells at him to take it back and he’s like, “Never!” Then he falls off the side of the boat and he’s like, “Okay, I need help now.”
Sonia’s like, “I won’t save you from falling until you take it back!” He does, and they haul him back on the boat. I guess that was supposed to be funny. I don’t know. Below deck, Mia passive-aggressives that Manuel doesn’t trust her, and he’s not acting like the Manuel she knows. “Well, then maybe you don’t KNOW me,” Manuel says. This relationship is going well!
Marcos heads off to meet with the Society, and Marizza intercepts him and she’s like, “You’re going to meet with the Society! After I told you not to!” Marcos is like, “I’m being rebelde!” and Marizza’s like, “No, no, you’re only supposed to be rebelde when I want you to be.” She tells him he has to choose between the Society and her, and Marcos is like, “Uh…” Marizza snaps that clearly his taking more than half a second to answer her means that he’s not committed to Marizza Motion. Marcos is like, “Omg no, don’t break up with me, we haven’t gotten to second base yet.”
Back in Marizza’s room, Blas has agreed to answer Vico and Lujan’s questions. Except he doesn’t at all. He says he doesn’t know who Ricardo Fara is, and when Lujan says that they know his real name isn’t Blas Heredia, he’s like, “Well, I’m not gonna answer that. Enjoy having no information whatsoever, bye.”
Papa B makes Pablo go back to school, and Marizza tells him to go to the laundry room or she’ll tell Papa B about Paula. Pablo obeys, and he’s immediately jumped by the Society. Ahhh, so that’s where Marcos was meant to meet the Society. How would Marizza know it was meant to go down in the laundry room? She tells Pablo to go there before she has her talk with Marcos. Just kidding, everything important happens there or in the map room. She had a 50/50 shot of getting it right. Anyway, Pablo tries to talk his way out of it, but the Society’s all pissed at him for interrupting their meeting, and they string him from the ceiling and dangle him over an open flame. WHY IS THERE NO SUPERVISION AT THIS SCHOOL?
Smoke detectors? Fire alarms? Checking the laundry room? Anyone? Bueller?
The Colucci Boat Ride of Pointless Slapstick and Relationship Drama finally comes to an end. Papa C continues to pout over Luca and Sonia, although he and Mercedes kind of make up. Manuel apologizes to Mia about being a dick on the boat, and promises that one day he’ll tell her about all his damage. Probably once he comes up with a story that’s not, “I came to this country to ruin your life and stab your only living parent.” In the meantime, he promises to change for her and focus on being in a teen band instead of revenge.
Some Society guy barges into the laundry room and tells them to stop trying to set Pablo on fire, and they let him go. In the meantime, Marizza’s gone back to the mall to harass Paula. She pretends to call Papa B to ask how he knows Paula, and Paula falls for it and spills everything to Marizza: she met Papa B at “the club” (the tennis/country/hockey club, maybe?), although she’s still shifty about how specifically they know each other. She asks Marizza not to tell Pablo, because the truth would hurt him. After all, despite everything, Marizza wouldn’t want to hurt Pablo, because she liiiiiikes him. Then Pablo calls and is like, “DUDE, they tried to set me on FIRE, the fuck!” Paula asks if Marizza’s going to take this opportunity to tell Pablo the truth. Dun dun dun!
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