We pick up where we left off, with Manuel trying to sneak into school in the back of a delivery truck. Blas randomly decides to choose this of all trucks to inspect, so Manuel…leaps out of the truck, throws a sheet over Blas, tackles him to the ground, and runs for it. HA! That’s the kind of shit I like to see.

Inside, everyone’s waiting for Sol’s fashion show to start. Lujan walks in wearing a shirt with Comic Sans on it. Oh, girl, no. Marcos is hanging out with Fernanda, as he does, and then will probably yell at Lujan for being suspicious about his relationship with Fernanda. They all sidle over to say hi to Alex and Feli; Marizza’s like, “Omg, Alex is an edgelord just like me! One of us! One of us!”
Rocco tries to escape the fashion show, but Lola intercepts him and hustles him off to hang out with her and Bianca. Hee.

The show begins, with Pablo emceeing. But first, he has to kick Tomás and Guido offstage. Also hee. He’s like, “Before we begin this frivolous fashion show meant to establish which shallow mean girl is the shallowest and the meanest, I just wanted to let you know that I won the election by fraud. So me and Marizza are both going to be president. Now let’s move on from political discourse and get back to watching the clothes!” Marizza is all twitterpated that Pablo’s fessing up to his wrongs. You know it’s real because Avril Lavigne is playing in the background.

Manuel makes it into the school and ducks into the teachers’ lounge. He begs Martavio to cover for him, and Martavio’s like, “Why do you need to talk to Mia so bad anyway?” and honestly, at this point, even I can’t remember. Manuel’s like, “For reasons, man!” and Martavio’s like, “Oh, okay.” When Blas comes in looking for Manuel, he kicks him out. You’re no Mansilla, Martavio.
So the fashion show starts and it’s pretty weird. The models are basically just wearing jeans and blouses, and they don’t even have shoes on. Guido’s still like, “Sexy can I” though, because he’ll literally stick his dick into anything. Fernanda sees Lujan in the audience and immediately is like, “Marcos, quick, grab my boob!” and he’s like, “What?” and Lujan nearly crawls onto the stage to fight her while Fernanda’s walking. Marcos is all upset that Lujan would try to injure his new bestie, and once more Fernanda’s left looking like the victim and Lujan like the bully. Then Sol walks, and blows a kiss to Tomás as she turns back. Tomás nearly faints in excitement.

Mama D and Gloria have called all over the city, but haven’t been able to find Hilda. Gloria thanks Mama D for all her help, and admits she hasn’t always been very nice to her. You know, what with the attempted husband-stealing and all. Mama D forgives her, and Gloria promises it won’t happen again. After all, there’s a new teacher in town, who you gotta admit is younger and hotter than Dunoff. And is also single. Mama D’s like, “Yes girl, get it!”

Sol and her models are “backstage”, wherever the hell that is. One of the girls notes that Pablo was in the audience, and plans to gold dig her way to the top like any good model. Sol snaps that Pablo is off-limits. Well, what about Tomás? He is also off-limits! Sol is going go through them and pick them off one by one, and then her minions can have her leftovers. Fair enough. Meanwhile, Marizza sneaks backstage and hacks up one of Fernanda’s outfits.

Blas is running around looking for Manuel and Mia. He tries to ask Francisco and Lola, who are spying on Laura, and they’re like, “We don’t know! Back off so we can eavesdrop!” Hee.
Martavio drags Mia to the art room, where Manuel’s waiting for her. Of course he is. He tells her that Romina meant nothing to him (I bet she’ll be happy to hear that), and she’s just a placeholder for Mia, as all of his other love interests are. Mia plays with her sleeve in a move that’s meant to look natural but really just looks awkward, and she’s leaning towards taking Manuel back when Blas comes in. Fuck you, Blas! This shit was looking like it was gonna actually get resolved this episode!

I guess the fashion show is having an intermission or something. I don’t know. Rocco’s using the time to give a lecture on proper filming technique to Bianca and Alex. God, I love him. Bianca’s hanging on to his every word, because she liiiikes him. Rocco wanders off to try and ask Alex how things are going with Feli, but Lola swings by and she’s like, “So, Rocco, I see you’ve been talking to Bianca! She’s super hot, y/y?” Lola might not be a good wingman, but she is committed, and I love her for it. Rocco says, “Bianca?” in a way that makes it clear that he has never ever considered the thought. Rough life, Bianca. Then he ditches them to go hit on Vico some more. She tells him to go away, but he’s all, “Man disregard words of puny woman!” Rocco asks if she listened to his song, on that tape he gave her, and she snaps that she has better things to do. Denied, Rocco!

Pablo, Guido, and Tomás try to hit on some of the models. They fail miserably. Well, Pablo and Tomás do. And then, despite literally watching her two friends walk away, Girl 3 lets Guido flirt with her. LOVE YOURSELF, GIRL 3.
Sol presents Feli with a new outfit, and wants her to walk in the fashion show. It’s a pretty cute look, for 2003. The second act of the show goes ahead, and OH MY WORD THAT GIRL’S ASS IS HANGING OUT OF HER SHORTS. This is not school appropriate, at all! Anyway, then Feli comes out and awkwards her way down the runway, and it’s not cute at all. Nevertheless, Marizza, Lujan, and Alex very cutely cheer her on. Aw!

Then Fernanda comes out in her next look, but Marizza’s cut up the pants, and they fall down and reveal her underwear. Marizza and Lujan have a hearty chuckle, and Fernanda starts wailing and flinging herself into Marcos’s arms and shit.

Manuel gets hauled off to Dunoff’s office, but Martavio intervenes. He says he gave Manuel permission to come onto campus even though Manuel’s suspended, and suggests that instead of suspension, Manuel and Romina can serve out their punishment by writing an essay. I mean, unless Dunoff wants to get Etchamendi involved in all this. Dunoff’s like, “No, no! I am in total agreement with you!” and Blas is like, “OMG, the betrayal.”
Blas catches up to Martavio all like, “Hey, you defending Manuel back there really killed my vibe, can you not next time?” Martavio tells him to chill out and sweeps off, then Lujan runs by looking for Marcos. Blas sees a chance to recover his dignity by messing with a teenage girl, which is what happens every damn time Lujan talks to him. I don’t know why she even bothers anymore.

Marcos is in the cafeteria, comforting Fernanda while she sobs about the indignity of it all. For once, Lujan actually doesn’t want to go in with fists flying, but Marizza’s like, “You gotta fight for your man!”, like Nu Marcos is such a prize. She hustles Lujan in, and chirps that she’ll stay and comfort Fernanda while Lujan takes Marcos elsewhere.
Oh my God, this is the longest fashion show in the world. They’re raffling off the clothes now, and I don’t know why anyone’s letting Pilar get close to the raffle box after what happened last time. One girl pouts that she hasn’t one anything, and Belen blusters that it’s random. I mean, it is, but I guess we’re meant to think she’s lying. Then Vico runs up onstage and says they have one more outfit to present, and this is the latest fashion from Paris and New York. Mia waltzes out in an outfit that might be uglier or maybe just as ugly as some of Sol’s; all the fashion on this show is garbage so it’s hard to tell. She starts stripping, in classic Mia fashion, and then a bunch of new outfits from the Colucci line descend from the ceiling, and Vico invites all the girls to start grabbing clothes. This seems like it would induce a frenzy and possibly injure someone, but whatever.

Also, who the hell is controlling the lights?

Sol, Pilar, and Belen are salty over getting shown up and storm off. And that’s the end of the fashion show! And not a single teacher noticed what was going on, as is usual for Elite Way.
The next day, Mia goes back to Casa Colucci to take care of Manuel. She gives him a speech about how she can never forget how he betrayed her with Nulieta, and how they’ve had a whole bunch of problems this whole season that honestly I don’t even remember anymore, because these two fight every single episode. But anyway, she’s like, “Whatever, bygones,” and they make out. They hella make out, getting horizontal and shit. He’s contagious, Mia! Then they confess their love to each other for about the millionth time. ALL THEIR SCENES ARE THE SAME.

Feli’s all twitterpated over the fashion show, but Vico accuses her of betraying Sparkle Motion. She says Feli must have helped with the show — otherwise why would Sol have an outfit for her? Feli insists that it was a surprise, and Vico snarks, “She just happened to have clothes in your size? At a modeling show? Please.” Oh, ouch. Vico stalks off, and Feli’s not too happy, either.
Sonia stalks Martavio and sees him enter his apartment building. She’s all twitterpated that they know where he lives, and Andres is like, “You’re getting a little weird about this.” Then he invites her to dinner, because the guys on this show can’t go five minutes without thinking about their dicks.

Guido tries to talk Girl 3 into telling her friends to give Pablo and Tomás another chance, but she tells them that Sol forbade them to ask those two out. Pablo and Tomás muse that Sol must be trying to get revenge on Pablo. Guido’s like, “Sol will never have to know!” and Girl 3’s like, “She will put a cement overcoat on me and throw me in the ocean.” Hee! I gotta say, Sol’s flunkies fear her far more than Mia’s friends ever feared her. But, if Guido wants to go out one-on-one, she’d be down with that. God, this girl does not love herself. Then Rocco rolls up and tells Guido that he has that study on repressed homosexuality that they were talking about earlier. Girl 3’s like, “Say what?” and BSes to Guido that she’s busy tonight and also all nights in the future. The “gay as an insult”/”making people think someone is gay is a deeply effective and offensive prank” aspect has not aged well at all — and God, it was such a thing in the early 2000s! — but I do enjoy watching Guido get shut down in all ways possible.

Diego asks Marizza and Laura for help with the math homework, which makes Francisco and Lola think that Diego is Laura’s secret boyfriend. Are they just gonna assume that about every boy who talks to her?
Tomás charges into the cafeteria all ready to confront Sol, but then she’s like, “I told the girls to stay away from you because I might like you,” and he’s like, “You like me? Well, then everything’s fine! :D!” Poor, simple Tomás. He goes back to report to Pablo, and Pablo’s like, “No offense, Tomás, but I really don’t think she’s cockblocking you out of love.”

Whether or not that gets through Tomás’s thick skull, we do not find out, because Guido comes storming in yelling that he wants to kill Rocco. So…not doing much to combat that “performative masculinity” thing Rocco was talking about, then. They run into Rocco as they’re leaving, and Guido bloodies his nose before Pablo and Tomás pull him off. They’re like, “Chill out,” and try to hold him back, and Guido’s all, “DON’T TOUCH ME, THAT’S GAY!”

Lujan sits outside, flashbacking to all her fights with Marcos and emoing over their relationship. Inside, Marcos comes across Fernanda crying (again), and Pilar takes the opportunity to stir some shit: the pants were made of good quality material; they wouldn’t just tear like that. Ergo, someone must have cut them, and that someone was probably — based on the past 200 episodes — Marizza and/or Lujan. “They would never do that!” Marcos insists. Uh…while I appreciate him finally sticking up for his girlfriend, Marizza and Lujan would so do that. Like, this is exactly the kind of thing they’ve done before. “Besides, Lujan is from the streets,” Pilar says, because…people from the streets…ruin clothes for fun all the time? It’s unclear.

Andres tries to convince Sonia to leave Martavio alone. “He has nothing to do with your daughter,” he says. Andres does not know what kind of show he’s in. He thinks Sonia’s just obsessed with Martavio because she’s afraid of growing old alone, because all women secretly want a man in their lives, amirite? Sonia’s like, “Whatever, stalking is more fun,” and Andres agrees to help her anyway, because he has nothing better to do.
Marcos confronts Lujan over cutting Fernanda’s clothes, but Marizza drags her off before she has to answer. She’s like, “What the fuck, were you about to tell him the TRUTH?” She snaps that even if Marcos isn’t initiating anything with Fernanda, he’s definitely letting Fernanda drag him around and rub their relationship in Lujan’s face, and Lujan should dump him. Damn. Well, she’s not wrong. They have a super dramatic conversation — there are violins in the background and everything — about Lujan’s dad got her mom pregnant and then left them, but Marcos showed her that #notallmen are bad and made her believe in love, so she can’t let go of him even if she wants to. Marizza promises to help her fight for Marcos’s love.

Bianca and Lola spy on Rocco editing his footage on the computer, and Lola tries to hype Bianca up to go talk to him. By the time Bianca’s calmed down, though, he’s gone. Heh. Lola’s like, “Oooh, what if you fucked with his video to add more footage of you? That could in no way go wrong, and will definitely make him love you!”
Pablo, Guido, and Tomás go to the club. While they’re standing in line, they see Martavio leaving with a couple of girls, get into bright red car, and drive away. They’re like, “What the fuck, where did our teacher get a sweet-ass ride and a girlfriend from? Why is he at the club instead of grading our papers, anyway?” They’re distracted when Guido brings a girl out from the club, and she volunteers herself and some friends as tributes to go over to Pablo’s sex apartment. Fishily, when Pablo and Tomás try to go in the club with her, Guido’s like, “Pfft, we don’t need to go in! She’ll just bring her friends to us! Let’s stay out here! Unsuspiciously!”

In Mia’s room, Sol’s group is freaking out that they were one-upped at the fashion show. Fernanda and Pilar (man, Belen gets cut out of even these scenes? That’s sad) shriek their heads off about how very dare the class treat them this way, and Sol has to calm them down. She BSes that this is just their first battle, to establish themselves as a clique, and they’re not done yet. For now, she has a plan to make Marizza confess what she did to Fernanda…which Marizza susses out in about five seconds. She’s like, “There’s literally no other reason you could be talking to me right now.” Hee. Sol points out that now that Marizza’s co-president, it sure would be unfortunate if Pablo found out that Marizza bribed Sol to come over to her side. Marizza agrees to get Sonia to help Sol’s modeling career again.

Pablo, Guido, Tomás, and three girls who should know better make their way over to Pablo’s apartment. Hey, my Sims have that same painting!

They’re about to get wasted and possibly laid, when Guido starts yelling randomly from the loft. What the fuck is wrong with Guido this time?

Leave a Reply