So Marcos was thrown from his horse and taken to the hospital, and like two hours later he’s hanging around hitting on Fernanda and generally being a fuckboy, because we can’t have nice things. And by “nice things,” I mean, “decent male characters on this show.”
Lujan walks in on them and is super pissed that this entire time she was worried about Marcos’s recovery, and here he is flirting with Fernanda. She skedaddles, and Marcos tries to tell Lujan how awesome it is that he and “Fer” are besties now. “Fernanda,” Lujan corrects him. Yikes. Marcos distracts her from his impending cheating by crying over his mom, and Lujan feels so bad that she encourages him to go to that high society tea that Fernanda was so excited about.
Manuel is still calling Mia, trying to get in the house. She hangs up on him yet again, and then gets so bored that she walks into Pilar’s trap, and decides to call Feli. She calls the school and pretends to be Feli’s mom. Feli’s like, “Wow, Mom, I can’t hear you! Bye!” Mia is horrified to have found out that Feli’s not at her house.
Lola needles Laura that she’s found evidence of Laura’s secret boyfriend, and she’s not going to rest until she finds out who it belongs to.
Pablo, Guido, Tomás, and Francisco rock into the club and Francisco promptly loses his shit, getting drunk and yelling about how he’s been friendzoned. The girls are into him for like a half a second because he can dance slightly better than Pablo, but then he gets up on stage and starts stripping (how very Mia of him) and everyone in the club is just like, “Ooookay.” Two security guards come up and haul Pablo off, because…he came in with Francisco? I can appreciate them not wanting to grab a half-naked Francisco, but it’s like, them’s the job, guys. Anyway, Pablo bribes his way out of trouble, but some rando reporter overhears him telling the guards that he’s the mayor’s son. The reporter snaps a picture of Pablo.
Andres is flipping channels when he comes across a news announcement that Sonia Rey is suffering the effects of PLASTIC SURGERY MALPRACTICE! He calls her in, and Sonia freaks out that now all of Argentina will know she has plastic surgery. Because, you know, it was such a well-kept secret before. She shrieks that only Marizza would dare mock her surgery, ergo Marizza must have been the one to leak the story. Why would Marizza even do that, though? Anyway, sirens and alarms start going off as the press descends on her dressing room in the span of five seconds. Sonia’s like, “Andres, you’re my agent! Help me!” and Andres is like, “Idk man, I’m not actually qualified for this job, you just gave it to me out of pity.”
Sol is doing Feli’s hair in the most hideous style imaginable. This, more than anything, is proof that she’s just faking their friendship tbh. Mia comes in and she’s like, “Feli, I can’t believe you lied to me!” Then she sees Sol, and…wait for it…”OMG, are you guys hanging out together?” Oh, Mia. Pilar comes in and she’s like, “Feli, you didn’t tell Mia what you told us?” Feli tells Mia that she’s here because her mom kicked her out of the house — wow, way to jack Vico’s sob story there — and Mia’s immediately all sympathetic and remorseful. First of all, I’m offended on Mia’s behalf that everyone’s taking advantage of her better nature. Second of all, since when was Pilar even in on this?
Marizza’s getting her violence on with her art project. Lujan’s like, “Uh huh, that’s nice.” She wants to talk about her love life, and how Marcos is off wooing and being wooed by all the richest families in Buenos Aires. Marizza blows off Lujan’s concerns and says that no matter how fancy Marcos gets, he’s always gonna have hella emotional problems with his mom, and Lujan is the only one who can help him through that. OR IS SHE? Because Fernanda sneaks up behind them and overhears the whole thing. Then she leaves and Martavio takes up her eavesdropping spot behind the column, just in time for Sonia to roll up and start yelling at Marizza. Martavio stares at them judgily. Oh, whatever, Martavio, you didn’t even know Marizza existed until two weeks ago, so let’s not get up on a parental high horse here.
Sol and Pilar gush over how they’re tearing Feli and Mia’s friendship apart. Sol wonders why Pilar isn’t part of any group, apparently because she hasn’t noticed Pilar’s incredibly abrasive, shit-stirring personality yet. Pilar is all salty that Mia won’t let her into their group, and Sol suggests that they make their own group, and usurp Mia’s position as Queen Bee. They make a list of who should be in their gang: Fernanda, obviously, being the shallowest and meanest of the tertiary girls; Belen, because she has no personality so she’ll go along with anything; and Feli, because getting Mia’s best friend away from her will be the sweetest coup ever. Sol and Pilar are ice cold, and yet they so clearly have their classmates’ numbers that it’s kind of hilarious.
Marizza is all upset that Sonia would accuse her of selling her own mother out to the media. Wow, it is pretty harsh when you say it like that. Sonia immediately breaks down and apologizes, but Marizza’s hurt that she doesn’t trust her. She’s like, “You’re dead to me!” and storms off. Martavio’s like, “Omg, Sonia’s all sad and vulnerable! This is a great time to swoop in like I did when I first met her!”
Laura’s waiting for Francisco in the main hall, but he’s totally hammered and can’t do much besides trip over her. Guido and Tomás drag him off to put him to bed, but not before Tomás gets in a dig that this is Laura’s fault for friendzoning Francisco. Yeah, the gender politics in this show have not aged well.
Martavio brings Sonia tea, but instead of offering to cheer her up with his penis, decides to give her life advice. Sure, because that always goes over well with characters on this show. He tells Sonia that Marizza needs a strong hand, and that Sonia has to stay chill with her. “I CAN BE CHILL WHENEVER AND WITH WHOEVER I WANT!” Sonia snaps. Right? When I think of calmness and rationality, I definitely think of Sonia. Then they decide to conveniently watch TV, because that’s what you do with someone you hate, and also conveniently, the news is running Sonia’s plastic surgery story again. This time, there are more details, and it turns out Papa C told the press that Sonia pulled out of the fashion campaign because of her messy surgery. Sonia keeps her calm, by which I mean she starts breaking shit and shrieking that she’s going to kill him.
The next day. Fernanda calls Marcos to make sure their plans for tea are all in readiness. “Did you tell Lujan?” he asks, and Fernanda’s like, “Of course I did, I would totally never leave Lujan out of anything.” Oh, this will end well. Lujan comes in and Fernanda tells her that they’re meeting at four. OR ARE THEY? Lujan’s cutely (and extremely awkwardly) excited, and thanks Fernanda for being such a good friend. She’s like, “You’re not trying to get in the way of our relationship at all!”
Pablo sees the day’s newspaper, which features him at the club, getting busted. Oops. He freaks out that Papa B is going to kill him, and oh look! He won’t even have to wait that long, because Papa B is here, in his best casual Saturday clothes. Apparently he’s picked today of all days to not even look at the newspaper (super casual!) and he just wants to hang out with his son and ignore the outside world. Pablo’s like, “Excellent idea!”
Sol and Pilar invite Feli into their group, pretending that they’re going to hang out and practice being models together. Feli’s like, “Oh, well Vico and Mia will definitely want in on that! We’re like the Three Musketeers, you know.” “The Three Musketeers? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” Pilar’s bitter ass says. Hee. Sol says she only wants Feli in the group, and Feli chooses to stay loyal to Mia. Then she gets a call from Alex, inviting her out, and hustles off. Sol plays the supportive friend and gushes over Feli and Alex, then sends her off with a reminder: “You can count on us, you know, if you ever find out that Mia’s not the perfect friend you think she is.” I love Sol and her evil machinations more than I should.
In Marizza’s room, Lujan is stressing out about going to tea and what she should wear and if the nobility of Buenos Aires is going to think she’s an animal. Marizza and Laura aren’t much help, since they’re both being separately emo on their own: Marizza over Sonia, and Laura over Francisco. She frets that making up a fake boyfriend wasn’t a good idea, since it’s apparently sent Francisco spiraling down a hole of alcoholism and stripping. Oh my God, Laura, Francisco’s personal fuck-ups are not your fault.
Fernanda goes to pick up Marcos — they’re both wearing denim, which seems alarmingly casual for high tea or whatever, but what do I know — and once again this show fails at filming outdoors, as the microphone keeps picking up the rain and wind. Marcos asks where Lujan is, and Fernanda blusters that she couldn’t find her but she’ll be along soon, so if Marcos could just stop asking questions, that would be cool.
Over in some part of town where it’s not raining, Papa B and Pablo hang out and eat breakfast. Papa B is proud of Pablo and how he’ll soon be class president — although of course, frickin Blas still hasn’t counted the votes — and gives him some advice: the more prominent he becomes, the more discreet he has to be. Keep those hookers and blow on the DL, you know. Pablo’s like, “Oh, haha…totally.” An excellent time for Etchamendi to call and be like, “Hey, did you see the photo of your son wasted in the club? It’s like in every newspaper in the entire country, bye!”
Mia wants Feli to come to her house with her so she doesn’t have to hang out with Manuel and Nulieta — just stay here, at school, Mia, where Manuel’s banned from entering! — but Feli has her date with Alex. For some reason, Feli doesn’t tell Mia about Alex, and tries to BS her way out of it with an excuse about her mom. Mia’s like, “No, you’re coming to my house, and that’s final!” Pilar pokes her head in to overhear their conversation. Scare chord! She calls…someone…and then runs up to Mia and Feli as they’re leaving, bleating that Feli’s mom wants her home now. Then Sol intercepts Feli and says her mom didn’t call (was Pilar talking to Sol? It’s unclear) — she and Pilar made that up so Feli can go on her date with Alex. Feli’s all twitterpated.
Tomás wakes up Francisco, who’s hella hungover from last night. Tomás, bless him, keeps yelling in Francisco’s face that Pablo WANTS TO KILL HIM, but IT’S NOT THAT BIG A DEAL I GUESS, and he’ll BRING FRANCISCO SOME COFFEE!!!! Francisco’s like, “Ow.” He asks Tomás to look for his locker key on the desk, but Tomás says they’re not there. Uh-oh. Then Tomás leaves, and Laura comes in. She tells him that Lola found something at their picnic and now she’s trying to figure out who Laura was there with. Francisco puts two and two together and is like, “Fuck my life.” Yeah, this isn’t a great morning for him.
Lola’s methodically using the key on every single locker in the school (dude, that could take forever!) to find out who it belongs to. This whole thing could be avoided by having combination locks like every other school on the planet. Francisco and Laura see her approaching Francisco’s locker and run to intercept her, but then Pablo intercepts them, ready to fight Francisco. Luckily the imminent threat of violence to her fake boyfriend distracts Lola, and she helps Laura pull Pablo off Francisco. Francisco’s like, “I’m too hungover for this shit” and lets Lola pull him away. “Maricón!” Pablo calls after him. Yikes. Wait, I thought Francisco was supposed to be the homophobe? I guess there’s room for two of them.
At four o’clock, Lujan waits for Fernanda in the main hall. Man, Lujan, Fernanda and Marcos left like ten scenes ago. Pilar tells Lujan that Fernanda left “an hour ago.” Wait, only an hour has passed in the last forty minutes? It feels like ages. Anyway, Lujan calls Marcos’s house, and is not pleased to find out that he left…with Fernanda.
Mia goes to visit Sonia, because Manuel is at her house and therefore will definitely not be in Sonia’s dressing room, except that’s where he is because Mia locked him out of the house last night. Yeah, she didn’t think that one through. And of course, Sonia and Andres have to go deal with journalists who want to know about her plastic surgery, so Mia and Manuel will just have to hang out by themselves without any adult supervision! And she’s just gonna lock them in together for their own safety!
(Before she goes, Sonia admits to Mia that Papa C thinks Mia was the girl with Manuel under the stairs. Manuel: “Ohhh, so that’s why he hit me.” Mia’s like, “So tell him it wasn’t,” and Sonia’s like, “Nah, that would be too difficult.”)
Etchamendi’s sitting on some porch somewhere, having wine, smoking a cigar, and talking on a cordless phone like the high-class motherfucker he is. He calls Dunoff to ream him out for letting Pablo besmirch the good name of Elite Way School. Plus Francisco stripping, and Manuel and Nulieta grinding in the cupboard under the stairs — Elite Way is just a hotbed of sin and teenage sexual experimentation, and Dunoff must put an end to it now, because Papa B is pissed. “Are you just sitting there?” he barks. Dunoff quickly gets up from his chair: “No, I’m standing.” Hee.
Lola takes care of Francisco’s hangover, and he wonders aloud if Laura treats her boyfriend this nicely. Lola’s like, “What boyfriend?” and Francisco’s like, “You know, her boyfriend of two years,” and Lola’s like, “Uh, I’ve been living with her for the past two years, and she doesn’t have a boyfriend,” and Francisco’s like, “Well, maybe you don’t know him, because he goes to another school,” and Lola’s like, “Uh, this key proves that he definitely goes to Elite Way.” Francisco’s eyes light up when he sees the key, and he quickly offers to hold on to it and help her find Laura’s boyfriend. Poor Lola gets all excited at the prospect of solving a mystery with him. Curse you, Francisco! The crime-fighting duo trope should not be invoked lightly! That said, the fact that neither of them have put together that perhaps Laura’s boyfriend is fake does not bode well for their detecting skills.
Sol and Augustina learn to love themselves, and dump Pablo and Guido. They quickly try to convince themselves that being single is awesome, and now they’re free and can live their best lives. Ah, what everyone tells themselves before they end up sitting on their floor eating sorbet out of the box at 3 AM, wondering what went wrong. Sorry, what?
Dunoff catches up to Papa B in the main hall, and is like, “So, I was talking to our buddy Etchamendi — you know Etchamendi, we like to hang — and we decided that we need a program to attack this ‘hormonal revolution’, which would make an excellent band name BTW, and I thought, being a parent, we could work together and you could tell me what to do, because you and Etchamendi are besties and all.” Dunoff is trying to suss out how, exactly, Papa B and Etchamendi are connected in their grand scheme to own Elite Way, but Papa B figures out what he’s doing and shuts him down: “We’re not friends. Worry about your school, not my relationship with Ricardo.” BURN.
Dunoff tries to put his hand on Papa B’s arm! OH, SON, NO.
Manuel’s burning up with fever, and Mia forgets what a dick he’s been this entire season and starts crying over him. Manuel’s turned on by her tears and leans in to kiss her. Some things never change.
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