Previously on Rebelde Way: Blas is about to die! It should be everything I want in this life, and yet I can’t enjoy it, because I’m horrified by the sociopathic glee with which these kids are about to feed their teacher to the dogs. Blas is saved by the sudden, incredibly random appearance of Chopy. Didn’t he leave him at the soccer field? Either Chopy is the speediest dog ever, or Mia owns a country house in the same city as her regular house.
All the kids squeal over Chopy and call off murdering Blas. He’s all upset that they thought he was capable of killing the dog, but he’s gonna let this whole attempted-murder thing slide, because he agrees with them that Font’s request was pretty fucked up. Blas is all, “I can excuse pedophilia, but I draw the line at animal cruelty!”
Stupid Ivan’s stupid friend Ramiro continues to feed Marizza that BS story about Ivan’s life-threatening heart condition. Ivan didn’t tell Marizza, because he was soooo concerned about her feelings, but the truth is that he has a super dangerous heart disease, and it could be set off by anything, but particularly by girls breaking up with him. For some reason, Marizza falls for this. What? Marizza, you’re smarter than this. Tomás probably could see through that.
Andres comes to see Mia, and while he’s visiting the school, he gets a call from Papa C. Papa C’s still in Tokyo, doing whatever he needs to do to not be on the show for a while. Andres tells him that he kind of invited Maria Jesus to live at Papa C’s house, no big. Papa C understandably is like, “Dude, you didn’t even ask!” but then Mia’s like, “Dad, friends don’t cockblock other friends!” and Papa C capitulates, as usual.
Rocco has finally fixed his hair and looks relatively normal, thank God. I mean, it’s still not good, but there was only so much that could be salvaged from that wreckage. He’s all like, “Omg, Font, you were so right, I was trying to be #rebelde, but true happiness comes from obeying the every whim of authority figures and growing up to be a cog in the machine of capitalism.” He says that as part of his new, responsible image, he wants to make a documentary about Elite Way. It would be a good opportunity for him, and for the school. Font’s ego likes it.
Meanwhile, Mia and Manuel begin Operation: Get Pablo and Marizza Together (So They Can Break Up and Create Drama Before Getting Back Together By the Finale), with Mia taking point on Pablo and Manuel with Marizza. Aw! We hardly ever see Mia and Pablo together, despite their implied friendship way back in episode 1. “What to do you have against her, Pablo?” Mia asks. “Do you want the whole list?” Pablo says dryly. “I’d love it,” Mia says, and whips out a notebook to start writing it down. HEE! Marizza rants that Pablo is an idiot with the emotional range of a teaspoon, while Pablo goes on about how Marizza lives to fuck up his life and make him crazy. Manuel and Mia studiously take notes. (Mia: “Go on, tell me more.” Heh.)
Then Mia runs off to go see Chopy, and there’s a ton of gratuitous shots of everyone petting the dog. The kids make a pact not to let anyone else in on the secret. I’m impressed at how Dante wrangled his way to secondary character status.
Sol runs into the math teacher in the cafeteria, and tries to shove her boobs in his face again. He finally snaps at her to stop following him and trying to get into his pants via sexy math lessons, and she’s like, “But I really do think cosines are a turn-on!” He tells her if she doesn’t quit hitting on him, she’ll get in trouble. Sol does not like that, at all.
Okay, the math teacher features quite a bit in this episode, so I’m gonna have to start calling him by his (last) name, Miranda.
Lola is still in love with Francisco, despite the reveal that underneath his charming country boy act is an ice-cold killer who encourages impressionable children to join him in his murder sprees. She gushes to Bianca that he has yet to like, give any hint that he likes her in any way whatsoever, but she’s sure they’re meant2b! Dante comes in and asks Bianca to leave, so she doesn’t see him get stomped on when she asks Lola out. Weirdly, Lola admits that there might’ve been something between them at the beginning — literally when, because all I remember is her making fun of him — but her heart belongs to Francisco. Perhaps literally.
Sonia cuts short yet another rehearsal on account of her raging hormones. The director tells everyone to take five, and then Andres shows up and asks to talk to Sonia for five minutes. For some reason, it doesn’t occur to Sonia that her break and his estimated timeframe for conversation align perfectly, and she cancels the entire rehearsal. The director’s like, “I’m getting real sick of your shit and everyone else is too,” and Sonia’s like, “I hear your implicit threat, and am choosing to ignore it! Bye!”
Ivan comes to see Marizza, and she frets over his health. Love yourself, Marizza! I almost miss her being an unrepentant asshole, because watching her fawn over Ivan is making me depressed. He asks if she still wants to date him, and Marizza has a vision of saying “no” and Ivan dying of a heart attack. That doesn’t sound so bad to me, but it freaks Marizza out enough that she agrees to keep seeing Ivan. Marizza really needs to Google the phrase “female socialization.” Or look it up on Altavista.
Andres explains to Sonia that there’s nothing going on with him and Maria Jesus. She’s just a super hot lady that’s moving in with him, but like, platonically. How could Sonia think Andres’s heart could belong to a mere tertiary character? “Absolutely nothing has ever happened between me and [Maria Jesus],” he tells Sonia. “The only person I want to go out with is you.” Hmm, I think this might come as a surprise to Maria Jesus. “Why are you telling me this?” Sonia asks. “Because I don’t want there to be any misunderstandings between us,” he tells her. Huh? Does Andres know what show he’s on?
Tomás and Guido ask what Pablo’s going to do about Erreway. “I don’t know, it’s just that…I can’t stand Marizza,” Pablo says. “Look, one thing is one thing, and the other thing is another thing,” Guido tells him. “Such vocabulary,” Pablo deadpans. Hee. Guido points out that Pablo’s all about being superior to women and crushing them underfoot now, so what’s he doing backing out of the band because of Marizza? Pablo’s like, “You’re right! I must go and prove that despite women’s best efforts, men will not be kept down!” Pablo gets that look on his face that we all get when Guido actually makes a point.
In class, the kids tell Miranda that Font’s a dick and he’s taking away their fundamental rights. They deserve recesses and ugly haircuts! It’s in the constitution! Miranda’s like, “IDK, talk to your parents?” Oh, math teacher, you’re so naive. The kids tell him as much, and he says that he can’t personally do anything to help them, but he can give them contact information for organizations that help children. He’s not going to personally throw himself between Font and the kids? Points for effort, Miranda, but you’re no Mansilla.
Sonia meets with some producer guy, who tells her that he’s interested in putting her show on Broadway. Sonia’s all excited about this, although I hear that on Broadway, you have to actually attend rehearsals.
So the math teacher has told Sol to go to Marcos and Laura for help from now on. Sol’s interpreted that as, “Make Laura do my homework,” and tries to pawn it off on her. Laura refuses and Sol starts getting up in her face, then Lola rolls up and throws Sol up against the lockers. She’s like, “Nobody makes fun of MY sister! (Am I doing this right, Francisco?)” Blas breaks up the fight, even though I’m sure he was enjoying that, and hauls them off to the teachers’ lounge.
Marizza tells Lujan that she didn’t break up with Ivan, because she was too afraid of giving him a heart attack and killing him. She starts going on about her conscience and feeling bad and all that BS. What the fuck? This is not the Marizza I know and occasionally like! Lujan rightly points out that Marizza shouldn’t date Ivan out of pity, and that he’ll just keep making advances if he thinks she’s interested.
Sol goes to see Font and rat out Profesor Miranda to him. She tells him that Miranda gave them the contact information for organizations in defense of children. Font clams the fuck up and is like, “Aw, hell no.” He especially freaks out at the phrase “international organizations.” Oooh, I bet he’s on the run. Font calls in Miranda and fires him on the spot. He says Sol will testify against him, and once she does, no school will hire Miranda. “I’d rather be on the streets than be part of your dictatorship,” Miranda sasses him. I bet that line would’ve gotten Mansilla his job back in five seconds, but as I said, Miranda is no Mansilla.
Manuel and Pablo are hanging out when some random woman in a low-cut shirt walks by. Who is she and what is she doing at the school? Anyway, Manuel and Pablo start drooling all over her, and Mia catches them. She tells Manuel if he keeps perving on the teacher, she’ll kill him. Oh, so was that…Maria Jesus? It would’ve been helpful if they showed her face. Or any part of her above her boobs.
Laura thanks Francisco for making her sister less of an asshole, and Francisco’s like, “Well, I mostly did it to get into your pants, so.” Laura shoots him down, telling him that when she goes out with a guy, she wants it to be “real and forever.” So…she’s gonna marry the first guy she dates? Francisco seems to accept this. Skulking behind a pillar, though, is Dante, who overhears everything. I guess he also overheard Lola gushing about Francisco earlier, because he voiceovers that Francisco must be trying to play the two sisters.
Mia, Vico, and Feli freak out over the Pythagorean theorem in the cafeteria, and Ana has to help them. “Who’s Pythagoras?” Mia whispers. HEE! Then the rest of Erreway rocks up, and Pablo announces that he’s deigning to return to the band. They muse over where they’ll rehearse, and Vico offers up her house. You know, since her parents have both abandoned her so nobody lives there anymore. (I thought Vico was losing the house, too? Whatever.)
Font brings Miranda into the classroom and announces that he’s leaving the school. “He’s been relieved of his position, for transgressing the boundaries between teachers and students,” Font says. Oh, you creepy motherfucker. Miranda says goodbye to the kids and follows Font out. Sol has the grace to look guilty. Rocco’s like, “Welp, shit happens, bye!” and peaces out, but the rest of the kids decide once more to be ~rebelde~ and get Miranda his job back. Being rebelde hasn’t worked in any way, shape, or form for them since this season’s started, but I admire their persistence.
(By the way, I believe Pablo gets the first “No puede ser!” of this season, when discussing the injustice of Miranda’s firing. Good for him.)
Blas comes in to shoo everyone out, but Mia stays behind to apologize for like, trying to murder him. Manuel sees them talking through the classroom window, and Blas takes the opportunity to get all touchy-feely with Mia. Manuel seethes.
The kids chain themselves to the stairway to protest Miranda’s firing, but then Font rolls in with Rocco backing him up and expels all of them. What? That’s so horrible it comes right back around to being funny. So now there’s no fourth year except for two students, and I guess the school board’s just gonna be like, “Yeah, whatever, we didn’t want their tuition money anyway.”
Sonia deigns to show up to a rehearsal on time, but it’s too late. She waits and waits but nobody shows up. Eventually she calls the director, and finds out that everyone has quit.
Sonia, of course, learns nothing from this, and instead starts wailing that a Broadway producer is interested in her, and how will he see her talent if she has no show? Yeah, that’s her own damn fault. You’ll forgive me if my heart’s not bleeding here.
Font thanks Sol for all her help, and tells her that the photos that he took of her should be ready within the next few days. We know, of course, that he already has them and is keeping him in his drawer. He also assures her that she and Rocco won’t be expelled. Sure, that won’t make it obvious at all to their classmates who the snitches are.
Manuel flips the fuck out, re: Mia and Blas. Marcos is like, “Whatever, it was probably nothing.” Heh. He just does not give a shit. “I know it was nothing! I KNOW!” Manuel shrieks. “So don’t get all nervous,” Marcos says. “I’M NOT NERVOUS!” I’m starting to think Mia should get out of this relationship while she still can. Anyway, despite being expelled, they all still have to go to gym class. Manuel decides to get revenge by perving all over Maria Jesus, to Mia’s displeasure. Way to be more mature than the 16-year-olds you’re still in school with, Manuel.
Rocco looks through the video he took of the protest, on the school’s janky Windows 98 editor. Sol rolls up to him and she’s like, “So, I guess we’re the only people left in fourth year now.” Despite expelling the rest of their class, Sol tells Rocco that she doesn’t think Font is so bad: “He’s doing me a personal favor.” That gets Rocco’s attention, and Sol tells him how Font is enabling her dreams of modeling. Rocco’s like, “You? But you’re so pasty.” Hee. He plants the idea in her head that she needs to sunbathe, preferably somewhere on the school grounds, to really be a model. Sol agrees to it, and Rocco leads Font outside to catch her. Font’s like…all appalled that the last two buttons of her shirt are undone? I don’t know.
Scandalous!
Marizza goes to see Sonia, and Sonia cries out all of her theater woes. “I had the opportunity of a lifetime, but it slipped through my fingers!” she sniffles. “There was a Broadway producer here, but now he’ll never see my show!” Marizza: “Is he blind, or….?” Heh. Sonia tells her that the entire cast and crew have quit, although conveniently leaves out that it was mostly her fault by never showing up to rehearsal. Ooh! Let me guess! Marizza will get her class, all of whom are conveniently dancers and singers, to be Sonia’s new backups!
Mia goes home and emos over Manuel. Andres asks what’s wrong, and Mia grumps that he can’t help her, because he’s a man and all men are garbage. I love when the women on this show get all angry and man-hating, because the men on this show are garbage and it needs to be acknowledged. Mia tells him about Maria Jesus and how she’s bringing all the boys to the yard, although she obviously doesn’t say Maria Jesus’s name. That would be like, convenient. And then what would you know, Maria Jesus shows up right that very second and she’s like, “Thanks for getting your dad to let me live with you!” (Weirdly, she doesn’t seem to recognize Mia.) Mia’s like, “Awkward,” and runs away, and Andres tells Maria Jesus that Mia’s jealous of a teacher at her school. “Is it me, because I’m the only female teacher under the age of 40 there?” Maria Jesus doesn’t say.
Font reams Sol out for exposing her midriff in front of God and everybody, and Sol cries that she did it because she wants to be a model so badly. Font starts stroking her hair (EW!) and telling her that she’s so beautiful, it doesn’t matter. “Has anyone ever told you that your mouth is irresistible?” he asks, and starts leaning in. EW! EW!!!!!!!
Erreway goes to Vico’s house to rehearse, and Mia passes out some songs she’s written. Right away, Pablo’s like, “I can’t sing these.” OH MY GOD, PABLO. He and Marizza are both tetchy about the lyrics, because it turns out that Mia took their little “10 Things I Hate About You” lists and turned it into a song. They read it out loud, finally getting to the end. It’s like, “But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all,” and Mia chirps, “What do you think?” Marizza and Pablo are like, “Awkward.”
Leave a Reply