In lieu of an opening monologue — there’s far too much drama today to take up time with one — I’ll direct you to this very cute tweet by Felipe Colombo (Manuel):
D’awww.
First off: GodDAMN this is a long episode. It’s nearly as long as the quinceañera episode, and not nearly as fun.
We pick up very nearly where we left off, with Dunoff announcing that Pablo’s ratted Erreway out to him. And now, if the following students will come up to the front: not-Manuel, not-Mia, not-Marizza, and not-Pablo. For some reason, Erreway’s all shocked that Pablo didn’t actually sell them out. Also, apparently one of the Diegos is actually named Sebastian. Pablo watches Diego, Sebastian, Belen, and Vico with a weird look of satisfaction — is he cool with the fact that they’re all going to be expelled? I guess I can see him not caring about the tertiary characters, because fuck them, but what’d Vico do to deserve this? After class, the rest of the band tells him as much, but Pablo tells them to chill. “I’ll take care of it,” he says. That wouldn’t assure me in the least, but everyone’s all happy, except Marizza.
Over at Casa Colucci, Mia’s crying to Papa C that it’s all his fault that Papa Aguirre is dead. Papa C’s like, “Dang, you can’t just roll up here and pin some guy’s death on me like that.” He looks through the papers and says he wasn’t the one that had dealings in Mexico, it was his brother. Not Luca; his other brother who we’ve never heard of before, Marcelo. Hey, remember when Papa C had sisters? (Apparently, one of those sisters was named Marcela, who I guess has suddenly morphed into a dude.) Mia wails that Manuel must be here to get revenge on the Coluccis. Papa C’s like, “Pfft, no way!”
Sandra passive-aggressively serves Mansilla milk instead of coffee. Mansilla’s like, “I hate milk,” and Sandra’s like, “Well, I hate your life decisions, so there.” She tells him that he has to tell the students the truth, and Mansilla’s like, “No way, lying to children is always the right thing to do.” It’s nice to know Mansilla’s learned something from working at Elite Way.
Dunoff reams not-Erreway out and prepares to expel them, but Pablo busts in at the last minute to save them. He BSes that Papa B won’t want to be responsible for them getting expelled during his campaign, especially if their parents freak out. You’d think he’d pick some richer kids, then. I’m pretty sure all of them except Belen (and maybe Diego?) are scholarship students. Dunoff lets them off the hook, although they’re none too pleased with Pablo.
I kind of love this budget Erreway, though.
Meanwhile, Dunoff’s asked Gloria to investigate this whole male-escort thing, and she’s asked Popeye to come to the school tomorrow to…ask him about his meeting with Hilda? I don’t know why he has to be there for them to discipline Hilda for meeting an escort at school, except to set up the tragic reveal for Gloria.
Marizza awkwardly apologizes to Pablo for thinking he was going to turn Erreway in. He’s kind of a dick, but accepts. Marizza gets all twitterpated that Pablo risked himself for the band, then Simon rocks up and wants to talk. He finally sits Marizza down and tells her that he has a kid. Understandably, that’s not what Marizza was expecting to hear in the middle of the school day.
Papa C calls his brother who’s just been invented for this episode. Marcelo tells him what went down: Papa Aguirre spent quite a bit of money promoting his deal with Papa C’s fashion house, even though it hadn’t been confirmed yet. When it fell through, he couldn’t handle the loss and committed suicide. So what Mia knows is true, from a certain point of view and all that. Mia says one of them has to tell Manuel the truth before he stabs them all in their sleep, but Papa C’s still not convinced that Manuel is here for ~revenge. The dude finagled his way into your house, Papa C! You don’t think that was a little weird? Mia’s like, okay, well then we have to tell Blas, because he’s way pumped to have some blackmail material on Manuel.
Sonia’s feeling all bad that Marizza has to find out about Simon’s wife and kid on the side, so she decides to do something to cheer her up. I’m sure it will be super uplifting and not embarrassing for Marizza at all.
Marcos and Lujan are fretting over Lujan’s tutor not enrolling her for next year. Marcos is like, “Maybe you should tell the school to call him, or ask Sonia for help, or literally any adult,” and Lujan’s like, “How dare you, I have my PRIDE!” Whatever, Lujan. She’s like, if fate doesn’t want me to graduate high school, then I guess this is my fate! Marcos is like, “That’s hella dumb.” My thoughts exactly, Marcos. He finally suggests that she applies for a scholarship, and I guess that doesn’t bother Lujan, since it doesn’t involve asking anyone else for help. Uh, I love Lujan, but I really don’t think she’s smart enough to win a scholarship. Unless it was a scholarship for punching people.
Nico emos to Manuel over his mom refusing to go on vacation with Luna. He rants that Mama Provenza always makes herself the victim, which is the perfect moment for Gloria to rock up and tell him that his mother is sick. It just occurred to me that we’re probably meant to think that she’s really sick, for a bit of dramatic irony, but I just assumed she was proving Nico’s point. Heh. Also, man, Nico cannot catch a break re: his parents, can he?
Feli comes into the cafeteria and not at all subtly orders one (1) croissant. She’s all weird and fidgety, and Luna quickly cottons on that something is up. Feli admits that she’s upset by the whole thing with Camilo. Aw, Feli, forget him. He was in like two episodes. Facundo was important than he was. Oh, and she’s stressed about her grades, because if she doesn’t do well in school, her family will gather ’round to fat-shame her into obedience. “Why don’t you tell them that that makes you feel bad?” Luna derps. Sure, I bet Feli’s never thought of that one before. Luna and Cata both get called away from the cafeteria, and Feli runs up to steal some more croissants. I’m sure nobody saw that coming.
Papa B comes to school and tells Pablo that he doesn’t even care about Erreway anymore, because he can hold his rally in a football stadium now. He’s gonna enter with flashing lights and trumpets, and lots of general indicators that he’s compensating for something. Pablo’s like, “Yes good, you do that, please leave now.” Papa B does leave, but Pablo’s still not happy: “It’s Marizza.” Guido and Tomás are like, “Chill, she’s gonna figure out that her boyfriend has a kid that he didn’t bother to tell her about, they’ll break up in no time.”
Speaking of creepy guys who like to hang around girls who are way too young for them, Blas has been called to Casa Colucci. He confirms the whole story to Papa C and Mia. They’re all perturbed, and Papa C muses that Mia can’t go back to school, where Manuel’s probably waiting to stab her. I like how he totally ignored Mia when she was going on about Manuel being a creepy stalker, but now that Blas — an even creepier stalker — brings it up, Papa C is worried. Case in point, Blas says Mia can go back to school, and he’ll keep an eye on her. Papa C accepts, for some reason.
Luna tells Nico she’ll martyr herself and not go on the trip to San Clemente with him. I mean, I say “martyr herself” because I know that’s what she thinks she’s doing, but let’s be real, not going to the beach with your whiny boyfriend and going to Disneyland instead isn’t exactly a sacrifice. Sandra swings by to say how proud she is of Luna for not walking out on Mansilla, and as a gift, she’s bought Luna tickets to go to San Luis and see her sister. Luna’s own parents weren’t gonna bring her back for the summer? That’s fucking harsh.
Cata rocks up to Luna and tells her that someone the croissants are missing, and Feli was the only person in the cafeteria. They cut to a genuinely creepy, trippy scene of Feli post-vomiting, with the camera tilting and doing swirly effects as she stumbles out of the bathroom. Before she can make it to the floor, Feli faints. Luna finds her, and Feli comes to and starts freaking out.
Blas walks Mia through Elite Way, as she is too overcome with the vapours to stand her own damn self up. She eventually collapses crying, and Blas crouches down to comfort her. Manuel walks by and he’s like, “Hey Mia, you okay?” and Blas throws him up against the wall and he’s like, “Don’t even LOOK at her! I know you’re going STAB ALL THE COLUCCIS, but I will STAB YOU FIRST, SON!” Okay, look, I know the whole goal is to keep Manuel away from her, but I feel like you could be a little more subtle, you know?
Mercedes brings Papa C some tea and is like, “Pfft, relax, stop thinking about Manuel trying to kill your family!” Mercedes is like, “Whatever, he’s 17. What’s he gonna do, kill you with his teen angst?” Papa C speechifies about how teenagers have thoughts and feelings too, if you somehow missed that being the theme of the entire show. Then Papa C realizes that Manuel’s been messing around on his computer and he’s like, “How could Manuel have done such a thing!” I mean…we literally just went over how he wants revenge on you and your entire family, but…okay. Manuel calls and asks if Papa C wants him to come over, and Papa C ominouses, “When I need him, I’ll call him.”
Mia’s lying in her bed wailing Manuel’s name, and Vico’s there like, “So…are you going to stay what Manuel actually did, or…” Then Luna comes in with Feli, to add to the collection of hysterical teenagers in that room. Although to Mia’s credit, she snaps out of her crying jag when she sees that there’s something legitimately wrong with Feli. She cries to them about how messed up she is, and they promise to help her.
The…next day? I think? Wait, are you telling me we watched Simon drop his “I have a baby and a not-wife babymama at home” bomb on Marizza, and we didn’t even see her react to it? Bullshit. Well, anyway, Renata’s decided that the best way to solve a problem like Mansilla is to call in Marizza and Pilar. She wants them to be ~rebelde~ and fight for their teacher, because Mansilla is worth it, or whatever. Mansilla walks in just in time to catch the tail end of that, and he’s like, “You talking about me?” Renata denies that they were talking about his resignation, and he gets mad at her because they totally were. He snaps that if she tells the kids the truth about his leaving, he’ll be mad for real.
Mia, Luna, and Vico gather to figure out what to do about Feli. Luna quickly realizes they’re out of their depth, which would be a good thing if she didn’t then suggest, “Maybe an adult could help.” Oh, sweetie. Not on this show. She does make the reasonable suggestion of Mansilla, but Vico and Mia shut that down, because being mad at Mansilla for resigning is more important than helping Feli. They snap that they promised her they wouldn’t tell anyone, and if Luna breaks that promise, she’s not their friend anymore.
Manuel is suspicious that Papa C doesn’t want to see him. He tries to talk to Mia again, and is cockblocked by Blas, again. Blas banishes him to fixing up the map room (like anyone’s ever taken a map out of that room anyway). Manuel is in there, organizing the maps, when Mia comes in and locks the door. Oh shit, son! It’s been AGES since drama went down in the map room! Mia reveals to Manuel that yesterday, she was crying over him. She knows why he’s in Argentina! It’s for REVENGE!
Aw, yis. It’s taken us 131 episodes, countless sidetracks into teen drama and musical interludes, but we are HERE. Manuel starts yelling that Mia’s family is the reason his father is dead. Mia tries to interject that it wasn’t Papa C, it was his never-before-mentioned brother, and Manuel says that it’s still the fault of the Coluccis, while Mia screams and ugly cries. It’s like…not a great scene, but it’s so ugly and real that it kind of goes around the bend to being good anyway? Manuel curls up in a ball and starts crying that IT COULDN’T BE SO!! while Mia cries that it totally was so. Then Blas knocks on the door. Mia tells him that she and Manuel are talking, and they’ll come out when they’re good and done. Manuel turns back to the maps, all defeated at the realization that he’s repeated the 10th grade for absolutely nothing.
Dunoff finds Popeye waiting in the lobby and brings him in. A moment later Gloria comes skipping through, all twitterpated that Alejandro’s going to call her today. This will end well. Dunoff tells Popeye to end his relationship with the woman he’s been seeing (who Dunoff will not name, because then they could avoid all this confusion), and Popeye says that he liked spending time with her and wants to say his farewells. Dunoff’s like, “Fine, whatever.”
Mansilla finds Luna being emo in the classroom. She tells him about how she doesn’t want to be a snitch, but people keep doing bad shit around her that she wants to stop. I feel for her, tbh. I’ve been watching those kids run amok for 131 episodes now, and that shit is painful. Mansilla honestly doesn’t give very good advice, he just kinda BSes about how Luna is a good person and she’ll find a way to help her friend. That…is not specific at all, but whatever, Mansilla.
Sonia shows up to school and tells Pablo that Simon’s gonna break up with Marizza. Except he hasn’t! He and Marizza rock in with Simon Jr., and Marizza coos over the baby. “Say hi to your grandma,” she squeals, while Sonia freaks out. Whatever. Like Marizza could last a day with a baby without killing it. Of course, the second she gives the baby to Sonia, Sonia’s all, “Aw, he’s so cute!” and then Papa C walks in and he’s like, “He IS cute!” and then Mercedes walks in on them and is pissed. I don’t like children at all, and it’s bullshit that Simon is dragging his high school girlfriend into his single father life, so forgive me if I speed on through. This is boring the hell out of me.
Hilda brings Hilario a cake, because she’s all into him now for some reason. They have a boring-ass conversation about how they like each other, and they agree to be friends. They leave the teachers’ lounge in time to see Popeye saying goodbye to Gloria, which Dunoff also walks in on. He’s like, “Shouldn’t you be breaking up with Hilda?” and Hilda’s like, “What? That’s Hilario’s nephew,” and Dunoff’s like, “No, he’s a male hooker,” and Gloria’s like, “No, he’s my boyfriend,” and Popeye’s like, “No, I’m a prostitute.” Gloria faints dead away.
Mia and Manuel finish their conversation without us ever getting to see it, and Mia walks down the hall with Vico later, telling her about it. Vico tells her that Manuel is dangerous, and Mia’s like, “Please, he wasted his entire revenge and just repeated a whole year of high school instead.” Just kidding. Blas rolls up to berate her for locking herself in the map room with Manuel, but then he switches gears and creeps that he just wants to help her through this difficult time. His voiceover, though, is all, “SOON YOU’LL BE MINE AGAIN.” Iiiiick. That’s the face of a serial killer, man.
In class, Pablo’s like, “I seriously can’t believe Marizza’s gonna raise a baby just to stay on Simon’s dick.” Honestly, same. It’s funny that Marizza’s supposed to be the most street-smart and ~rebelde~ of all the girls, but she always ends up hella dickmatized by whatever loser she’s dating. Anyway, Gloria yells at all the kids to wait for Dunoff to make an announcement, because she’s back to being salty now that she knows she’s going to die alone. Dunoff comes in with Popeye in tow, freaking out Lujan, Belen, and Random Amanda. He tells them that someone paid Popeye to pretend to date Gloria (everyone cracks up that this; poor Gloria), and they have ten seconds to come forward, or everyone will be punished.
Luna finally confesses to Mansilla about Feli’s bulimia.
Papa C finds Manuel in the map room, and he’s like, “You thought I killed your father. Prepare to die.” Just kidding, but he does backhand Manuel. Bro! Was not expecting that!
Leave a Reply