Opening monologue: Adolescence is a weird time, sometimes we’re mature, sometimes we act like children. Sometimes we fuck up, and it costs us dearly.
We pick up where we left off, when it looked like the Society was not gone after all, and one of them was about to jump Pablo! Dun dun dun! Just kidding, it’s just Guido. Given all the grief he’s been through, you’d think he’d be less flip about referring to his time in the Society. Anyway, Guido’s like, “I came back because I missed you guys, way to totally forget I existed as soon as I left.” Pablo’s like, “I mean…yeah.” Guido tells him that he found that lady that they stood up online again, and she and her daughters are willing to give them a second chance. Wow, all this drama, and Guido has not learned or grown a bit. Even Pablo knows this is not a good idea (although the potential of getting laid overrides his sense eventually).
Mama D calls Pilar into the office to yell at her for screwing over her classmates. It’s pretty fair of her, I think — she remarks that Pilar lied to her, and that her classmates are angry with her for stirring shit. Pilar’s like, “Nobody understands me!”
Meanwhile, in the cafeteria, Tomás and Luna are being all coupley together. Nico looks on sadly, and Sandra’s like, “Ya know, if you weren’t such a fuckup, this wouldn’t be happening.” Heh. Nico’s like, “She should’ve waited for me! I mean, it took me a hundred episodes to actually do it, and I went back and forth about for ages, but she should’ve known that eventually I would’ve broken up with Tatiana for real!” Yeah, and now after dicking around two girls forever, you have neither of them. Them’s the breaks, Nico! Sandra mutters to Cata that she has to fix things between Nico and Luna, but she hasn’t figured out how yet.
Tomás and Guido have an emotional reunion in Pablo’s room, and Pablo and Guido are all like, “So we’re going to hook up with the girls from the Internet tonight, y/y?” Sweet, dumb Tomás says that he can’t, as he promised to spend tonight studying with Luna. Aw! Then Pablo gets a text from Papa B’s secretary, telling him she found Simon’s number. It was such a short scene that I might have skipped over it, but a couple of episodes ago, Pablo asked his secretary to find Simon’s info for him, so they can talk man-to-man (or man-to-high school student) about this whole drag racing thing. He calls Simon up and makes plans to meet him at the club, which means that Guido and Tomás have to come with and back him up. Guido’s like, “But the Internet girls!!!” Whatever, Guido. Tomás tells him that Pablo’s not into any Internet girls, he’s after Marizza, and Guido wants in on their bet. Pablo’s like, “Fine! We’re the second main couple of this telenovela, so I am definitely going to get with her, and THEN you’ll be sorry!”
Feli, Fernanda, and Random Amanda are hanging out in the cafeteria, flipping through some fashion magazines, while Vico conspicuously buys Gogurt in the background. Man, I miss Gogurt. Except my parents always used to put it in the freezer, and having to bite it out of the bag was a pain in the ass. Anyway, Random Amanda spots an ad for diet pills, and Fernanda goes on a self-righteous and totally out of character rant about how those pills are no good for you and you might end up dead! Speechify for those impressionable kids watching this! Said speechifying might be more effective if all the girls in this show, besides Feli, weren’t incredibly skinny. When all the girls get up to buy more Gogurt, Feli rips the ad out of the magazine and pockets it.
In the teachers’ lounge, Hilda sighs over her flowers, which you’ll recall she thinks are from Hilario, not Mansilla. Mansilla and Renata come in, and Mansilla is about to tell her that he sent the flowers, but then he punks out. Hilda leaves, and Renata’s like, “Wow, way to not tell her the truth.” Heh.
Mansilla finds Guido in Pablo’s room (Guido tries to hide, but gives himself away by farting, because of course he does), and tells him to go home and they’ll work everything out later. On his way out, Blas and Guido needle each other, and Mansilla has to swoop in to cover for Guido being in the school. Blas is left feeling all impotent, so of course when he sees Mia he’s like, “Let’s go out together and you can stroke my penis ego.” Mia tells him that Papa C will only let her go out with Manuel, so she has to clear it with him first. Blas is like, “Why you gotta go and make things so complicated?” (Just kidding, that’s not the Avril Lavigne song that’s playing the background.) Naturally, Manuel is not down for helping Mia go out with Blas, and needles her until she starts hitting him and stomps out of his room. Nico, having observed this, is like, “So…are you ever getting over your massive crush on her?” Hee. Manuel’s like, “The only thing I care about is my revenge!” Sure, that revenge that’s taken you 105 episodes? He gets all snippy, and Nico needles him about how he loses his ability to be rational over Mia.
Their revenge talk is interrupted by Marcos, who brings Nico a letter from “Cata” (read: Sandra). She spills everything to Nico about how Mama Provenza meddled in his and Luna’s relationship, and Nico’s like, “Aw hell no!” Manuel’s like, “What’s that about rational?” Heh. Marcos is just over in the corner like, “Whatever.”
Dunoff finds Pilar still crying in his office, and she wails to him that Mama D blames her for her classmates hating her. She’s like, “I left the newspaper on your desk for the greater good (the greater good!)” I mean, I really can’t blame her for wanting to alert Dunoff to Blas and Mia’s creepy relationship. She begs Dunoff to let her change schools.
Sandra pretends not to be waiting for Nico in the hallway, and when he asks her about the letter, she sniffs that nobody has ever talked to her the way Mama Provenza did, and it was a great offense, but whatever: the IMPORTANT thing is that Nico realizes that Luna loves him, right? And what does he plan to do now? Nico’s like, “I mean…my parents still hate her and she’s still dating Tomás, so idk.” “What do you MEAN, you don’t know?” Sandra shrieks. “I mean…you should go talk to your parents, right?” Heh. Oh, Sandra. She’s not subtle, but Nico’s not smart enough to pick up on what she’s doing, and he agrees to go confront his parents. It can only end well!
In the cafeteria, Tomás tells Luna that they have to talk about something. “Isn’t Pepsi good?” he asks, holding up the bottle so they get their ad money’s worth. Oh, and also, he can’t study with her tonight. He BSes that he’s going to a rugby game with his friends, which Luna buys. How can she be tutoring Tomás if she’s just as dumb as he is?
Pepsi should start paying me for pointing out their product 15 years down the line.
Mia flips out about Manuel shooting her down, and Blas has to calm her down. Mia’s like, “You’re so nice, and not a creeper at all.” Dammit, Mia. She’s all like, “I bet you’re only a douche to everyone else because you have hidden manpain!” and Blas is like, “Yes, yes I do.” He sob stories to her about how his mom died when he was born, just like how Mia also doesn’t have a mom. They’re meant2b! And nothing will stop them from being together! Then they make out.
I should add, too, that Luisana Lopilato was actually 15 years old when this show was filmed, and Pablo Heredia (Blas’s actor) was like 23. (He’s also kind of a dick irl, last time I checked he was posting on Twitter about how women who don’t shave their legs are gross.) IIIIICK.
That night, Pablo, Tomás, and Guido go to the club. They meet up with the Internet girls, but they’re like, “Ew, they’re ugly!” Then Simon rocks up and Pablo has to go off with him. Pablo offers him money to throw the race and let him win, and Simon’s like, “This offends my sense of sportsmanship!” Nevertheless, we cut away and when we come back, they’re shaking hands. Guido comes up and he’s like, “How do we ditch these girls?” Luckily for them, three other girls show up, and the boys immediately start drooling over them. The girls agree to go back to Guido’s apartment with them. I just wanna say, they were already stretching the limits of disbelief by acting like even one girl was into them in the first place.
Luna cutely asks Lujan what channel the rugby final is on, so she can talk about with Tomás when he gets back. Aw, Tomás, you don’t deserve Luna. Lujan laughs at her and says the final was weeks ago. Luna’s all crushed.
Luna goes off to hang out with Mia and Vico, and asks them how Feli’s diet is going. They’re all like, “It’s going super, she is in no way sneaking junk food at all!” They note, in particular, that Feli hasn’t been seen buying any food from the cafeteria. Then Vico asks if it’s true that Guido was in the school, because she don’t love herself. Luna immediately perks up and says that Tomás must have lied to her so he can hang out with Guido, because he misses him. Oh, Luna. Vico’s like, “Or he’s going out with another girl, because men are liars.” Hee.
Over in Mia’s room, Feli orders food to be delivered to the school over the phone. Luna almost catches her getting it delivered, but then she doesn’t.
Dunoff tries to talk Mama D out of being a teacher again. She refuses again. She’s like, “Maybe you should confront the fact that our daughter is a social maladjust,” and Dunoff’s like, “Pfft, that would require parenting on my part.”
Pablo & co bring the girls back to Guido’s apartment, and the boys are all tripping over their boners. Pablo shows them that he’s brought condoms, and then they turn around to see that the girls are holding a gun on them. Ha! I knew they couldn’t have possibly gotten three girls interested in them without an ulterior motive.
Marizza lures Facundo to the sad trailer and apologizes to him for not loving his Driving Miss Daisy car. Facundo immediately forgives her, because he is weak, so very weak. She says she wants to finally thank him for being at her beck and call for the past thirty episodes, and they make out.
For some reason, Mia really thinks that Manuel can be negotiated into letting her go out with Blas. She sits him down in the not-lounge and they try to find a day that he’ll partake in this illegal disaster of the relationship. Predictably, Manuel derps that he’s busy every day from now until eternity. Luna swings by and tells Mia that Feli wasn’t sleeping, and Manuel’s like, “And her sleeping schedule is a big deal why?” Mia snaps that Mexicans shouldn’t meddle in other people’s business. Manuel snarks that Blas is always meddling everywhere and with everyone — “Oh, right, but he’s not Mexican.” Point to Manuel. Mia just wants to make Argentina great again! Anyway, Manuel leaves and Luna says something’s going on with Feli. She and Mia are like, “But what could it be?!”
Over at Guido’s apartment, the girls have stripped them down to their underwear, tied them up, and are ransacking Guido’s place. Whatever, like Guido has anything worth stealing. They get their stuff and leave, and the boys have to three-legged race their way around the apartment to try and get to the their phones. It’s wacky, or whatever. Tomás tries to call Mia, but she’s left her phone with Luna, and Luna picks up. She’s like, “You don’t sound like you’re at a rugby match.”
Mia makes Vico stake out their room with her, so they can see what Feli’s up to. What could it be? WHAT COULD IT POSSIBLY BE? They see Feli eat a cake, and then pull out a bottle of pills (she doesn’t take one, she just stares at it so Mia and Vico can finally, finally see what she’s doing). They race down to confront her, and Mia finally figures it out: “Are you making yourself vomit?” She’s all like, “I won’t let you hurt yourself!!!” and confiscates the pills. Feli is not happy at all.
Luna, meanwhile, is trying to drag Mansilla out of the school to help Tomás. She’s like, “Tomás called me and he sounded weird! Something is happening!” Even Mansilla’s like, “That’s not quite enough to get me to go look for him.” Finally Luna threatens to get Sandra involved and Mansilla’s like, “Aw hell no,” and agrees to go with her. HEE.
Immediately after finding out that her friend has an eating disorder, Mia storms off to…go cry to Blas that Manuel’s cockblocking them. Priorities!
Mansilla and Luna come in to see the boys sprawled on the floor. Tomás wails to Luna that he didn’t want to go to the club and cheat on her, but they made him! Luna, bless her, takes the liquor bottle off the table and dumps it on his head.
The next day, Nico calls his house and asks his mom to come see him. He sees Cata and thanks her for sending him the letter about his mom, and she’s like, “What letter?”
In the cafeteria, Manuel asks Marcos how things are going with Lujan. Marcos says he thought he loved Marizza, but lately all he can think about is Lujan. He’s like, “There are times when I look at her and it’s like she’s not going to punch me.” That’s beautiful. Manuel’s about to impart some wisdom about girls to Marcos, but then Mia and Blas come in to tell him that he’ll never get in the way of their illegal relationship. Blas tells Manuel that he’s going to be the bookkeeper for the week. Mia snarks that Manuel barely understands Spanish, much less English, so she’ll translate: Manuel is in charge of sorting all the books in the library, so he can’t hang around cockblocking them anymore. First of all: that’s not what a bookkeeper is. Second: all the books in the library? So that’ll take him what, like two minutes?
Hilario comes to see Hilda, and he’s like, “Yeah, your message was kinda weird, I didn’t send you any flowers.” Awkward.
In the teachers’ lounge, Mansilla berates Pablo & co for thinking with their little heads. They’re interrupted by the lady from the Internet, who has shown up to yell at them, again. I’m thinking this is kind of her own fault for agreeing to meet people from AIM? She’s super pissed this time, and says she’s going to the school board to accuse them of sexual assault. I’m sure this will be handled maturely and with sensitivity, like all things on Rebelde Way!
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