Opening monologue: None today! Instead we just go straight to watching Marcos getting jumped by the Society. I love how the one time it would be useful for someone to be hanging around the main hall (you know, sneaking back in, making out under the stairs, whatever they usually do), it’s suspiciously empty. Rough luck, Marcos!
The Society drags him down into the basement, where they tie him up and gag him, again. They’re like, “How dare you make fun of our secret high school society, with our very serious outfits!” They leave him to writhe around on the floor and sweep out like a bunch of oversized bats with a weird investment in the class purity of a freaking high school.
Meanwhile, Mauricio (the artist formerly known as Papa Tatiana) tells Nico that according to Tatiana, the two of them had a fight. Nico finally has the guts to admit that he doesn’t have feelings for her anymore and they broke up. Mauricio’s like, “But you’re fifteen years old! That’s totally old enough to commit yourself to another person for life!” He thinks Nico just has to try harder to love Tatiana, and Nico’s like, “Sometimes, you just…grow past the age of twelve and realize you don’t wanna date your seventh-grade girlfriend anymore? And that really can’t be helped?” Mauricio’s like, “Well, your dad and his heart condition and his unemployment really aren’t gonna like this.” Nico points out that Mauricio should help his dad because they’re friends, not because he wants to pawn Tatiana off on Nico, and Mauricio’s like, “Friendship is for squares! And you can forget the nightclub and the band, too!” Aw, Papa Tatiana, why you gotta be like this? Your mustache always looked so friendly!
Manuel catches up to Feli and asks her about the whole getting herself to a nunnery business. Feli credits it to Manuel and he’s like, “Hey, don’t pin this on me.” Apparently, when he told Feli to stop worrying what other people think about her and to focus on herself, she interpreted that as…joining the cloth? Anyway, he tells her that she’s too young to decide and she should think more about what she wants in life. Feli’s like, “Omg, how are you so wise?” “Because I speak from the heart,” Manuel says. Except when he’s lying to everyone about who he is and why he’s in Argentina and pretending he’s not going to cheat on all his girlfriends with Mia, but you know, whatevs.
Back in the lounge, Pablo and Tomás are freaking out over the mysterious case of Pablo’s car, but then Guido’s like, “Dudes, I found this totally legit site where you can talk to chicks online,” and they completely forget about it. At some point in their lives, those three are probably going to be taken for a ride by some guy in his mom’s basement. Anyway, Pablo can’t enter the chat room without submitting a photo of himself, so they just grab a book, and lo and behold, there’s a picture of Mansilla inside. I want to know what that book’s about. Is it “People Who Have Committed Crimes that Will Come to Light Over the Course of a Telenovela”? They’re all ready to start reeling in internet girls who have a thing for goatees when Mama B shows up. She tells Pablo that Papa B’s on another trip, and he wants Mama B to check on the car for him. Pablo’s like, “Yikes.”
Casa Colucci. Mercedes, Papa C, and Papa C’s mom jeans come in all twitterpated after a date. Mercedes brings up the topic of them moving in together again, and Papa C is like, “Let’s be real, Mia hates you and would never want you moving in.” Heh. Mercedes pouts that it’s not fair that Mia like, is a factor in how Papa C lives his life. She whines a bit and eventually he caves and admits he likes the idea, and they’ll win Mia over eventually. “Eventually” has been like fifty episodes at this point, Papa C.
In the sad trailer, Erreway debates what to do over Nico screwing them out of their performances. Mia cutely takes Nico’s side, pointing out that Nico didn’t love Tatiana, and how can Mauricio stand in the way of true love? Bless her. Marizza points out that they have a contract to perform and Mauricio can’t back out of it, but Nico corrects her: the contract is for four members of Erreway. Of course it is. They should just carve the number 4 in blood on themselves so they always remember it. Marizza says she knows how to get Pablo back, and tells them to get ready: “Tonight, we’re playing.”
In the auto shop, Pablo tries to convince Mama B that for once, he was not actually irresponsible and didn’t crash his own car. God forbid he go back and finish his community service in the ghetto! Yeah, that’s right, I still remember that. Anyway, Mama B is disbelieving, and says one of his classmates must have stolen it because nobody was noticed entering the school. And who would do that to Pablo? I mean…there are so many people. But then the mechanic rolls up with a pair of glasses, and says he found them in the car. Pablo immediately recognizes them as Marizza’s, because he’s kind of obsessed with her.
Marcos, meanwhile, is still stuck in the basement. A bunch of tarantulas are crawling all over him, and the music is all ominous. Can Marcos escape the evil tarantulas?! Nevermind that tarantulas bites aren’t dangerous to humans. They couldn’t get their hands on some black widows? My summer camp had an entire black widow colony living under this fallen tree log. If a ball rolled into the Black Widow Log, it had to stay there forever. We were way cooler (and probably even more ripe for litigation) than Elite Way. Anyway, Marcos frees himself, because I know you were really worried about that. He tries to call Dunoff for help, because I guess he really doesn’t want to live after all, but the Society catches him and tells Dunoff that Marcos won’t be in school today. Dunoff’s like, “Sure, whatevs.”
Guido and Tomás are still trying to pick up chicks in MSN chatrooms or wherever the hell they are. They find some lady (“Gabriela”?) who says she knows Mansilla and she’s like, “Dang, I thought you’d have better shit to do than be trolling for girls online.” And she has two teenage daughters! Guido and Tomás are all twitterpated and make plans to meet with them. They realize that Pablo’s going to be left out of this Internet hookup, and Tomás offers to let Pablo meet “his” girl. Guido’s like, “You’re passing up an opportunity to meet girls (who might be neckbeards in their mother’s basement)?” and Tomás chirps that he doesn’t mind at all. Well, this can only end badly for Nico.
Mia rants to Vico about Mauricio freezing the band out. Feli tries to contribute, but Mia bitters that she’s mad that Feli gave up on the nun thing because of Manuel, not because of Mia and Vico. Feli’s like, “I promise your guilt-tripping and browbeating matters to me just as much as Manuel’s!” Mia, God love her, is appeased by this. Anyway, Blas knocks on the door, and Feli and Vico clear out to let them talk. DAMMIT, GUYS. Blas wants to know when he can meet Papa C, and Mia BSes that she hasn’t had time to call him. Blas hands her his phone and is like, “No excuses, call him right now!” GOD HE’S CREEPY. Over at Casa Colucci, though, everyone is gone except Luz. She picks up Mia’s call and snips that she’ll tell Papa C that Mia called if she sees him, cackling all evilly. After Blas leaves, Mia asks Feli to tell Luz to ignore her call, and Luz snaps that she’s not a maid. Presumably she does some more evil cackling after that too, but we don’t see it.
Her top is cute though. Just saying.
In the cafeteria, Marizza’s trying to sweet talk Pablo into coming back to the band. Heh. Bless her, she tries it for about half a minute, then slips right into coercing him. She points out all the favors she’s done for him, that he really ought to pay her back for. Pablo remarks that he won’t tell Papa B that he found her glasses in his car, and that’s repayment enough, doesn’t she think? Marizza, for some reason, decides that the best way to answer this is…with a lecture about Pablo’s life decisions? She gives him a deep speech (with sad piano background music!) about how Pablo’s not capable of love, and that’s why his dad had to hire a prostitute to deflower him, and Pablo’s sad and going to end up alone because he’s so selfish. Pablo’s all perturbed.
Marcos is still tied up in the basement. The third year watcher brings him a sandwich, but it’s full of worms, and the Society all cackles over what fun they’re having. Meanwhile, Manuel and Nico are like, “Huh, I wonder where Marcos could be.” Nico finally has the idea to call him, but his phone’s turned off. They’re like, “It’s very likely that he is still at his house, with his parents who hate him (instead of in the basement where we know the Society hangs out!).” COME ON, YOU GUYS. Manuel sneaks into the office to get Marcos’s phone number from his file. Aw, look at Marcos’s school picture! Back when he was still a nerd!
As he leaves, Manuel sees a note from Dunoff telling Gloria that Marcos is out sick. “Oh, of course,” Manuel, crack detective, says. Poor Marcos. It’s too bad Mia’s not on his case.
Papa C and Mercedes come back to Casa Colucci, where Luz predictably tells them that Mia needs Papa C to come to the school (evil laughter, etc).
Meanwhile, poor lovesick Tomás asks Luna to go to the club with him. Aw! I am kind of charmed by Tomás’s equal-opportunity crushes. Anyway, Luna agrees, but not without looking longingly after Nico, who passive-aggressively swans by in the background.
Marizza tells Erreway that she failed to persuade Pablo to come back. I love how none of them are surprised. Marizza is many things, but good at buttering people up is not one of them. I mean, except for Pepa, but randos on the phone can butter Pepa up after five seconds, so she doesn’t really count. Anyway, she snaps that screw Mauricio and the contract, they should just show up at the club to please their public, and see if he can kick them out then. The rest of the band is like, “Whatever,” and go along with her.
Guido tells Pablo that he’s set up dates for them tonight (he calls himself “The King of Seduction,” oh, Guido), with the girls who think that he’s Mansilla. Even Pablo can see this is a bad idea, but he agrees to go anyway.
Mia goes to see Blas. NO, MIA! She plays with his buttons again (ICK) and it looks like she actually undoes one? STOP THIS IMMEDIATELY, MIA. She tells Blas that Papa C doesn’t know they’re together yet, so she wants to talk Blas up to him first before they meet (and Papa C realizes that Blas is a creepy predator). She leaves, but Blas follows her, while “Nobody’s Fool” plays in the background. Heh. Did Avril Lavigne’s album just come out when they made these episodes?
All the kids get ready to go to the club. Lujan’s wearing a skirt, as they continue to try to make her more feminine. She snarks that Tomás is late meeting Luna because he’s too busy making himself pretty. Heh. She’s probably not wrong. Just then, her tutor shows off and hustles her off to dinner. Aw, Lujan’s not gonna get to see Erreway perform one song and then leave? Disappointing 🙁
At the club, everyone is cheering for Erreway (when did they decide to name this band?), but Mauricio’s like, “Their classmate broke my daughter’s heart because she thought dating in seventh grade meant they were engaged, and they’re never going to play here again!” The band shows up and remind him of the contract, and Mauricio’s like, “Aha, but there must be four!” “There ARE four,” Pablo announces, swooping in to save the day. Mauricio knows when he’s lost to the power of telenovela drama, so he leaves the stage and lets them play. They perform “Será porque te quiero,” and I gotta say, it’s kind of a pity that Luisana Lopilato has more stage presence than Camila Bordonaba, because Luisana can’t even lip-sync convincingly. The crowd goes crazy, except for Blas, who’s followed Mia to the club and is watching disapprovingly. How dare she have fun with people her own age!
Aaaand Marcos is still stuck in the basement. Blah blah the Society tortures him some more and tells him even more torture will be coming at midnight. If I were Marcos, at this point I’d just be like, “Whatever, do your thing.” Meanwhile, in Pablo’s room, ~someone~ receives a message from the Society to meet them at midnight for Marcos’s punishment. The position of the camera is meant to imply it’s Tomás, but I bet it’s not.
Nico sees Blas in the crowd and chases after him. Blas snarks that he’s glad he saw the secret Elite Way band, and Nico asks what he’s going to do. “That’s my own business,” Blas creeps. Nico runs to go warn Erreway, and interrupts them in the middle of their celebration. Yeah, it was hard work doing that one song, but they pulled it off. “Now I know how Britney feels!” Mia’s saying. Hee. Nico tells them that Blas saw them, and Mia realizes he followed her. Everyone immediately starts yelling at her, especially Manuel. “Do you think it’s my fault?” Mia asks. “Yes,” everyone says. Aw, you guys. Mia mumbles that she’ll fix things with Blas and make sure he doesn’t say anything. Nobody points out that this will probably involve her having to go on more inappropriate dates with him. Dammit, guys 🙁
Papa C goes to the school to see Mia, and is pissed to realize she’s not there. He rants that Mercedes was right, and Papa C has indulged Mia for too long. He’s going to do whatever he wants, and Mia will have to deal with it! Mercedes is all, “Mwahaha, excellent!”
During all this, Lujan’s at a dinner of awkwardness with her not-tutor. They chat about school, and Lujan brings up that Blas is a total penishead and also probably a sex offender. Her tutor’s like, “Yeah, speaking of which, I want you to hang out more with him.” Lujan’s like, “Did you miss that last part?”
Nico catches up to Luna and asks her what’s going on with Tomás. Luna’s like, “Why do you care?” (probably hoping that he’ll tell her that he does care, as teenage girls do), but then Nico sees his mom across the room and runs away to go talk to her. Man, everyone is showing up at this club. Mama Provenza berates him for breaking up with Tatiana, and Nico points out that if Mauricio is only keeping Papa Provenza around because he wants to marry Tatiana off, then he’s a crappy friend, and for the love of God, he and Tatiana dated when they were twelve. Mama Provenza’s like, “Is that a problem?” Luna comes up and tells Nico that the crowd wants the band again, and he runs off. Mama Provenza is like, “You! You ruined my son’s perfect seventh grade relationship!”
Luz shows up on Manuel’s arm, and Mia is all pissy that Manuel invited her to the club. I mean, Nico’s mom comes to this club, it’s not like it’s exclusive. They bicker a little, but eventually they get up on stage and perform “Sweet Baby.” Two songs in one night! They’re really spoiling this crowd. The song is interspersed with cutting to the Society torturing Marcos. Why are they still at this? They could be at the club, getting down to shitty early 2000s pop music. Bad life decisions.
Papa C tries to call Mia, but of course she’s not picking up. Mercedes is like, “Will sticking my tongue down your throat make you feel better?” and Papa C’s like, “You know, it totally does.” While his hormones are all raging, Papa C asks Mercedes to move in with him.
After the performance, Luz catches up to Mia and compliments her on the band’s performance. “Oh, and I wonder if your dad knows you’re in the band?” They gotta get stricter admission rules for this club.
The third year watcher comes and unties Marcos and tells him he’s going to help him escape. Whatever, they said that last time, and they just ended up giving him a mouthful of worms. He tells Marcos to trust him, and Marcos agrees, on one condition: he shows Marcos his face. The watcher takes off his hood, and Marcos is all shocked: “YOU?!”
Okay, seriously, I need to start keeping track of every time they end an episode with “VOS?!” or “NO PUEDE SER!” It’s gotta be in the thirties by now.
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