Previously on Rebelde Way: Joaquin tried to convince Mia and Marizza to have sex with him (again, some more). Guido slooowly cottoned on that Joaquin maybe, possibly, is cheating on Mia. Nico’s mom showed up with his seventh-grade girlfriend, and for some reason everyone is taking that relationship really seriously. Luna’s aunt is now officially part of our regular cast. And then Sonia showed up to give these kids the sex talk, because they somehow made it to the 10th grade without any sex ed whatsoever.
Opening monologue: Sometimes we prefer to go along with lies because the truth is painful, but eventually reality catches up to you.
We pick up where we left off, with someone sneaking up behind Marizza and grabbing her. It’s not a murderer, though, it’s just Nacho. Somehow, that’s worse. He tells Marizza that Pepa’s been taking care of him, and it’s super awesome, except she’s trying to enroll him in school, GROSS. I don’t care at all what Nacho’s up to, so let’s move on. Mansilla rolls in and tries to talk to Marizza, and she yells at him that she didn’t want her mother to show up to give her entire class the sex talk. “Well, sometimes things don’t happen the way you want,” Mansilla tells her. Oh, man, I’ve been waiting for someone to say that to Marizza for forever, and now that someone has, it’s when I’m actually on her side about this whole thing. Why you gotta do me like this, show? Marizza snaps that Mansilla only invited Sonia because he wants to get into her pants. Mansilla tells her that Sonia’s not his type, and Marizza asks if he’s gay. “I don’t think so,” Mansilla deadpans. Heh. He remarks that Marizza and her mom are really alike: they both think the world revolves around them. “That’s because it does,” Marizza chirps. Also heh. She confesses that she hates when Sonia comes around because everyone thinks Sonia’s a goddess, and it makes Marizza feel like a toad. Woo! Character depth!
Some hallway. Mia sighs over Joaquin, and Vico sighs over Manuel. Mia needles Vico for liking Manuel, and Vico assures her that she would never seriously date Manuel: he’s like, poor, GROSS. But why does Mia care, anyway? Mia snips that she TOTALLY DOESN’T, and Vico muses that Manuel is nice and funny, his lack of money aside. Mia fumes.
Sandra orders some food for the cafeteria so she can make real meals with like, actual nutritional value. It occurs to me that the bizarre behavior of everyone in this school might be explained by the fact that they’re basically ingesting nothing but sugar. Anyway, Manuel comes up and calls Franco to tell him that he punked out and helped Mia and Joaquin get back together. “Maybe we should back off and let Mia make her own decisions,” he doesn’t say.
Sonia waits for Marizza in the cafeteria, while Sandra cutely fangirls over meeting her. Dunoff comes in and insists that she wait in his office, the better for him to creep on her.
I’m not sure this man knows how to smile naturally.
They leave, and the not-ethics teacher calls Pepa again. He’s like, “What up, let’s hook up here at my place of employment where I should be doing my job,” and she’s like, “Oh for sure, let me just abandon this kid I’ve been watching to mack it with you.” These two deserve each other.
Econ class. Luna tells Marizza that Nico explained everything. He loves her for real, and they are going to be 2gether 4ever! Marizza is still suspicious, but the econ teacher busts them talking before they can get any further. He snaps that this is a school where they discuss important subjects like the national economy, and they have to work for their education! Then Dunoff comes in with Hilda and is like, “Yo, I gotta break up your class for some drama right now” and the econ teacher is like, “No probs!” Maybe be a little more committed to your job, econ teacher! Dunoff proceeds to read Marizza’s letter out loud to the class, and it’s an ickily detailed love letter. “And it bears the signature of Nicolas Provenza!” Luna looks perturbed, and Marizza smiles smugly at her. Nico denies it, and Luna’s like, “Dude, are you crazy? They’re going to expel him!” “He deserves it!” Marizza says. Literally what? Luna just told her they worked everything out! Finally she gets a smidgen of conscience and points out that the letter was typed on a computer, so anyone could’ve written it. And it wouldn’t be very fair of Hilda to expel Nico without proof, would it? Hilda grudgingly admits that’s true, and they back off of him, but now Marizza’s in trouble for arguing.
(In the back of the classroom, Pablo tells Tomás and Guido that he’s sure Marizza herself wrote it. Heh. He totally has her number.)
Sonia runs into the not-ethics teacher in the main office, and he tries to get it on with her. She has no idea who he is, and then Dunoff walks in on them. Hijinks!
Some hallway. Mia pouts to Joaquin that Marizza is the worst and look, Mia can handle Joaquin hanging out with Pilar because she’s a total charity case (heh), but Marizza? Joaquin calms her down by stroking her ego, and Mia is appeased. “Do you know what I feel like doing?” she asks him. “I hope it’s the same thing as me,” he says. “I feel like going to the movies on Friday,” she says. HA! Joaquin’s like, “…right. I too am dying to go to the movies.” Then Papa C shows up and scares him off. Papa C huffs to Mia that guys like Joaquin are only after one thing. “Sex?” Mia asks. Scare chord! Papa C’s like, “How do you know what sex is? I sent you here specifically because there’s no sex ed in the curriculum!” Just kidding. Mia lectures him (hee) that sex is normal and beautiful. Sonia said so! Papa C: “SONIA gave you the sex talk? Aw, hell no.”
In the teachers’ lounge, Dunoff fires the not-ethics teacher for hitting on the mother of a student. Wow, was not expecting that! I mean, if Dunoff fired a teacher every time they behaved completely inappropriately, the turnover rate at this school would be insane.
Sonia and Marizza argue again, some more. Marizza accuses Sonia of giving the talk just to get attention; Sonia snaps that she did it because she knows Marizza will never listen to her otherwise. Marizza pretends to be worldly and above it all, but deep down she’s just as nervous about sex as any teenage girl. Wow, this episode is really digging into Marizza’s character. I like it. Sonia tells her that kids her age are confused about what sex is/what it’s supposed to be, and she heard that Joaquin was pressuring Marizza into sleeping with him — “Who told you THAT?” Marizza snaps. Sonia backtracks and says that it was her fortune teller. Hee. Marizza snips that she’s glad Sonia gave them the talk, because she was wondering if it was the right time to sleep with Joaquin, and now she thinks she’s ready. I gotta admit, I feel bad for Sonia. This is not her day.
Marizza marches up to tell Joaquin she’s ready to swipe her v-card with him, but he’s all pissy because he heard she’s been getting down with Marcos. He tells her that the rumor came from Vico, and Marizza stomps off to go tear her a new one. Marizza pins her to the wall and Vico starts crying that she’s hurting her. Don’t be such a chump, Vico! Marizza’s like five feet tall!
Manuel comes and breaks them up, and stays to comfort Vico. She cries into his shoulder. This whole thing is so, so bizarre. I guess I can buy that Vico has self-esteem issues and needs affection badly, but is Manuel just doing this because he wants to mack it with her? Because that would be really gross of him, and is also how this whole thing is coming across right now. Anyway.
In the teachers’ lounge, Sonia frets that she ended up driving Marizza straight into Joaquin’s arms (and bed). Mansilla’s like, “Dude, you gotta stop telling me about your daughter’s sex life.” Not really. He reminds her that Marizza is a teenager and has to make her own mistakes, and Sonia snarks that it’s easy for Mansilla to say, because he doesn’t actually have children. “I had a child,” he tells her. The sad music comes on in the background. Sonia’s like, “Damn, this is hella awkward,” and runs away.
The kids all head back to class, and Marizza drags Marcos up to tell Joaquin that there’s nothing going on between them. “How could you think I would have anything to do with this?” Marizza asks, shoving Marcos back. Oh, man. Rude! So rude! Marcos walks away with his head down, and Lujan follows him. You know it’s bad when Lujan is the sensitive one here.
I was genuinely emotionally affected by this, ngl.
Marizza tells Joaquin she’s ready to do the deed, and suggests that they get together on Friday. The same day of his movie date with Mia! Hijinks are sure to ensue. Mia comes in and sees Marizza sidling up to Joaquin, and is Not Pleased. Not displeased enough to cotton on that Joaquin is encouraging this, though.
Papa C meets Sonia in the office and chews her out for trying to make up for the school’s woefully lacking curriculum. She snaps back that someone had to give the talk to Mia. “That is the most lost girl I have ever met,” she tells Papa C. Burn!
In class, Hilda calls on Marcos to give an oral presentation. Everyone eggs him on, but Marcos is too emo and mutters that he didn’t study. Everyone gasps in shock. Marcos isn’t being a nerd stereotype! What is happening? Mia gets called on next, to talk about the British invasions of the Rio de Plata.* Not knowing the answer, she BSes about how the British were smarter and prettier and blonder than the Spanish, and they like, deserved to have the Rio de Plata, and in conclusion, may she remind you that it does not say RSVP on the Statue of Liberty?
Pilar is not impressed.
*Having never heard of these, I started to google “English invasion of”, which I don’t recommend, because you will have to sift through results for nearly every country on Earth.
Guido sighs that Mia’s ignorance of world affairs is a total turn-on. Pablo encourages him to ask her out, for some reason.
In the cafeteria, Pepa waits for the not-ethics teacher to call her, not knowing that he’s been kicked out of the school. To distract her, Sandra and the cafeteria lady ask about what touring with Sonia is like. This is the most boring scene ever. Why does it exist? Sandra wants to know if it’s true that Sonia’s been going about with a fashion mogul (remember when she got busted with Papa C at the club?), but then Sonia comes storming in and says that between getting hit on by the not-ethics teacher, and fighting with Papa C, she is absolutely done with being here, and drags Pepa off.
After class, Vico and Manuel head off together. Mia grabs Feli and wants to know what’s up with that. She makes Feli go and split them up. “Why me?” Feli wails. Hee. Seeing his opportunity, Guido sidles up to Mia, but then Papa C shows up and ominouses that they have to talk. Failed again, Guido! Papa C asks why Mia went to Sonia with her sex problems instead of him, and Mia obviouses that it’s easier to talk about with a woman. Papa C admits that’s probably true, but tells her that she always come to him with anything. Well, in that case, Mia and Joaquin are going to the movies on Friday! Papa C: “ANYTHING EXCEPT THAT.”
In the cafeteria, Vico bawls out the cafeteria girl for bringing her grapefruit juice instead of orange. I think it’s kind of Vico’s fault, though, for not being able to tell the difference?
Traditionally speaking, orange juice is orange, I’m just saying.
Manuel calms her down and says that Vico didn’t like it when Marizza threw her up against a wall and chewed her out, so Vico shouldn’t do it to other people. Is Manuel treating her like a kindergartner supposed to be cute? He says that he thinks Vico is sweet, deep down. I have no idea what makes him think that, and I generally like Vico. Then Feli rolls in and plunks herself in the middle of their conversation. Hee.
A bunch of girls gather around Pablo and beg him to go out with them over the weekend. Yikes, please love yourselves. I think one of the girls is Pilar, but it’s hard to tell. Hilariously, one girl tells him that she won two tickets to something through a Pepsi competition, as they’re all sitting around drinking Pepsi. Product placement! Papa C comes in and Pablo quickly excuses himself before his dad can start abusing him in front of his classmates again.
Marcos emos around the gym during class. Lujan tries to get his attention, but he just stares sadly at her. “What’s your deal?” she asks.
Cafeteria. Luna makes Marizza fess up to Nico that she was the one who wrote the letter. She snips that she wrote it because she thought he was fucking with Luna, and nobody messes with her friends. Lujan comes up and drags Marizza off to talk about Marcos, and Marizza whaps Nico on the head before going. Hee. Nico’s like, “What the fuck! I could’ve been expelled!” but Luna just beams that this is the first time she’s ever had a friend like that. Nico points out that Luna looks kind of sad, for someone who has such awesome friends, and Luna emos that she doesn’t think she’s good enough for Marizza or Mia. See, she has a secret. And she can’t tell anyone. No, seriously, not even Nico. It’s a secret! It’s the secretest secret to ever secret! “But I’m your boyfriend,” Nico says. Luna: “Okay, so here’s what’s happening.” HA! “So Marizza and Joaquin are going out –” “No, Mia and Joaquin are going out.” “No, Marizza and Joaquin –” “No, Mia and Joaquin.” OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS. They go back and forth until it hits Luna: “Wait, is he going out with both of them?”
YOU GUYS. YOU GUYS.
Pablo’s room. Like a good parent, Papa B has decided to drag him into the middle of his and Mama B’s fight. He tells Pablo that he was just trying to threaten Mama B into submission, and she like, didn’t seem to be into that? Women are weird. He tells Pablo to tell Mama B that, if they divorce, Pablo wants to stay with Papa B. Pablo’s like, “…you’re actually an abuser, why would I want to do that?” Papa B’s like, “Well, I was not expecting you to look at it that way.” Pablo chews him out for only caring about his career and being a shitty dad, and says he’s going to stay with Mama B.
Joaquin swings by to tell Mia that he can’t go to the movies with her on Friday. See, he has an appointment to actually have sex, and that trumps movies any day. He douchily tells her this in front of Vico and Feli, who just watch awkwardly. Also, Joaquin thinks movies are stupid. They should do what he wants to do, which is go wakeboarding on Saturday. Mia doesn’t love herself enough to say no. Joaquin leaves, and Mia sighs that he’s wonderful. “A wonderful liar,” Feli snarks. Doesn’t Mia think it’s just a little weird that Joaquin canceled on her like this? Mia’s like, “Stop saying words.”
Nico and Luna walk and talk about whether or not she should tell Mia and Marizza that Joaquin’s playing them. Luna doesn’t want to, because she’s afraid they’ll be mad at her. Nico says that it’s important to have friends, but you have to be able to stand up to them. Just look at him and Manuel! They’ve actually physically fought and they’re closer than ever!
Marcos emos some more around the gym. Lujan frets over him, but says Marizza has to talk to him, because he won’t open up to Lujan. Besides, Marizza was the one who dissed him in front of Joaquin, so she should be the one to talk it out. And now it’s time for a jarring cut to the music video for “Inmortal”! For the third time! Back in the episode, Marizza tries to talk to Marcos, but he blows her off because he’s hella bitter now. He snaps that at least now he knows why she was hanging out with him. “It wasn’t like that!…well, yeah, it was kinda like that,” Marizza admits. Then she weirdly tries to turn it around on Marcos: he’s nice and all, but he’s so closed off. Why doesn’t he try to fit in more? Marcos tells her he can’t be like everyone else: “Because I’m a murderer.” Scare chord! I mean, he could’ve also said, “Because I shouldn’t have to change my entire personality to make people stop being dicks to me,” but I guess that wasn’t dramatic enough.
Guido catches up to Mia and hits on her for like five minutes before getting to the point: “Joaquin is going out with you, and with another girl.” Oh snap!
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