We start with a brief opening bit from the last episode: Pablo knows they won’t be given permission to leave school, ergo, they must take matters into their own hands. “We’re going to RUN AWAY?” Marizza gasps. Who is this person, and what has she done with Marizza? To the credits!
Opening monologue: Adolescent life is full of adventures and dreams, and parents just don’t understand. Let’s hold hands and be more than boring adults.
Note: this episode is terrible for all the usual reasons (bizarre chopping up of scenes, people getting rewarded for shitty behavior, too much Nacho + the adults), but its crappiness is only magnified by the fact that our four main characters do not show up at all. Like, not even once. And I mean, they could have replaced them with anyone I actually care about (Lujan, Marcos, Pilar, whatever) but no, instead we spend most of our time with Nacho. And Guido’s fart jokes.
According to IMDB, Nacho’s criminal older brother’s name is Mauro, not be confused with the guy Marizza tried to hook up with way back in episode three. For this reason, I will call Nacho’s brother Criminal Mauro. (The actor’s name, by the way, is apparently Juan Ponce de Leon. Man, his parents saw that opportunity and went for it.) APPARENTLY NOT! See, while I was futilely looking for Random Amanda’s name, I google imaged some of the actors I didn’t know, and Juan Ponce de Leon looks freakishly like the guy who plays Nacho’s criminal older brother. However, Mauro is actually a character in season 2. Thus, Nacho’s criminal older brother remains nameless. Carry on!
Criminal Older Bro is tossing back a beer as he waits for Nacho. See, he drinks alcohol, because he’s evil! Unlike Pablo, whose alcoholism is acceptable because he’s a main character. Anyway, Nacho comes in and Criminal Older Bro gets all abusive over how he’s wearing a backpack, and the backpack means he’s been going to school, and school is for NERDS. Nacho has to choose: will he stay with his criminal older brother, or go back to Pepa and get an education? I never thought I’d say these words, Nacho, but choose Pepa.
(Nacho’s plot isn’t connected to anyone else’s, so I considered just putting it all together to get it out of the way. But then I realized if I had to suffer through thinking a Nacho scene was over only to have him pop up again, everyone else does, too.)
At school, Mia texts Feli that they’ve snuck out of school to meet with a record label. For some reason, all the main/secondary characters are already gathered, and they’re all like, “Gasp! Shock!”
Mia asks their friends to cover for the band, and they agree that they must UNITE! to save their friends from detention. Tomás frets that he won’t be able to lie effectively. Hee. I like that he’s becoming self-aware. Lujan’s like, “Pfft, I do it all the time, it’s easy.”
Hilda comes in and class starts, and she notes right away that four students are missing. “Uh…they’re studying. For econ,” Tomás says. That’s the best he can do? He really isn’t good at this. Feli asks Hilda about Napoleon again, and I can’t tell if she’s trying to distract her from her missing pupils, or if “ham-fisted” is the only way this show knows how to introduce plots. Feli says Napoleon having to divorce Josephine was super sad and all, but not likely to happen today. “Today, no…but many years ago,” Hilda says, gazing off into the distance. Everyone immediately latches onto the idea that Hilda has a lost love. Except for Vico, who’s like, “Feli, why do you care about Hilda’s love life?” Hee! Hilda says they’re going to have a quiz soon, and the whole class pitches a fit, as usual. They decide to find Hilda’s long-lost love and reunite them, and she’ll be so happy she’ll never give them homework again! What? A) These kids don’t know how school works. B) They’re going to reunite two 60-year-olds just to avoid homework?
Plus, I gotta add, the word Hilda uses is “prueba,” which can mean a big exam, but most of the teachers I’ve known tend to use it to mean a smaller test or a quiz, while an “examen” is something you really have to study for. But I guess even a modicum of studying is too much for these kids.
Sonia and Luca troll around town together, until Papa C calls demanding that Luca get his butt to Casa Colucci and start being responsible right now. Luca takes Sonia along, for maximum drama. Papa C tries to teach Luca how to run a business and about the fashion industry and shit, and Luca and Sonia are like, “UGH, this isn’t FUN at all!” Papa C’s like, “Traditionally, work isn’t, no.” Sonia says that Papa C’s business needs fun people with open minds, and suggests that Luca design the company’s new collection. Luca’s like, “Omg, I bet I’d be amazing at that!” I’m confused. Is Mia’s dad a designer? Does he just run the business side of a fashion house? Is it his fashion house? Nothing makes sense to me.
“Mama B” calls and gives her permission for the kids (or at least Pablo) to leave. I’m assuming this is Mia or Marizza pretending to be her, and the plan totally backfires because now Gloria has to go look for Pablo to tell him he can leave. But then Dunoff comes in and dumps a bunch of work on her and tells her to do it right now, and Gloria is forced to put off dealing with the children. You’d think she’d be happy about this.
In the cafeteria, Feli tells Luna and Lujan (why are the three of them hanging out?) that her grandfather’s cousin’s niece’s secretary’s babysitter’s dog-walker knows Hilda’s ex-boyfriend, and knows all the gory details about their breakup: said ex was engaged to some rich chick, then he met Hilda and fell in love. But Hilda was poor, and his family opposed the relationship, so Hilda left him for the greater good (the greater good!). “How romantic,” sighs Luna. I mean, and then Hilda grew up into a bitter antisemitic high school teacher so…I guess in Luna’s world, that’s close enough. Lujan’s like, “Romance is stupid, but history quizzes are stupider, so we should track down this guy and reunite them and she’ll be so happy she’ll never give us homework again.” Was that…not already their plan? Anyway, Feli says she knows the guy’s name through her family connections — it’s apparently “Hilario”, and they all laugh at this for some reason. It’s just the Spanish version of “Hilary,” and it doesn’t really even sound that close to the Spanish word for “hilarious.” Maybe it’s really old-fashioned in Argentina or something. He used to be a teacher at Elite Way, so they should be able to find his information in the school files. Anyway, they all finger-gun it, pleased with their planning skillz. Aw!
So cute! Also, product placement.
Pilar rocks up, and Lujan immediately splits so as to not suffer Pilar’s presence. Luna, newly bonded with Pilar over her pregnancy scare, insists that Pilar can stay and be part of their plan. The rest of the girls grudgingly agree, as long as she doesn’t tattle. Pilar’s like, “I would never!”
Mama Luna makes her first appearance in about twenty episodes, showing up to school with her best pissed-off face on. Sandra tries to block her from Luna, and they exchange shots over how Luna will never be Sandra’s daughter-slash-she’ll never be under Mama Luna’s thumb. Mama Luna tells Sandra that she has news, and whatever it is is upsetting enough that Sandra gets Luna.
Tomás catches up to Guido and asks what’s been up with him these past few episodes, and Guido BSes that he’s fine. Blas rolls up and asks where Pablo is, since Gloria’s looking for him. Tomás is like, “Why are you asking?” and…man, I hate to side with Blas, but he literally just told you that Gloria’s looking for Pablo. Poor dumb Tomás. Anyway, they pretend not to know, and Blas eyes them suspiciously.
Marcos sadly drinks some water. He sees Marizza’s face in the cup, and he gets all bitter and breaks the cup and gets water all over himself. Jesus, Marcos.
Tomás and Guido swing by for some drive-by bullying, and Marcos flips out on them. Tomás is like, “Wow, chill,” and they scram from Marcos and his newly violent ways. Marcos spots Lujan sitting outside the classroom, and goes over to talk to her. He asks where Marizza is, and Lujan tells him that she’s not in school. He’s like, “Stop fucking with me! All you ever do is LIE!” Lujan gets all wibbly and spills everything about the potential record deal to him. Jesus, Lujan, I love you, but hold on to a bit of your dignity. She asks him to hear her out again, and he snaps, “I don’t talk to dead people!” Okay, but you started this conversation with her, Marcos.
The girls (sans Lujan) gather in the classroom to talk about their plan for Hilda some more. Pilar offers to get his file from her dad’s office, and runs off all twitterpated. The econ teacher rolls in (long time no see!) and also picks up on the fact that four students are missing. “They’re studying for econ!” Tomás blurts out. Then: “I mean, history!” Oh, Tomás. Econ teacher’s like, “Ugh, I can’t believe they’re missing my class, the most important of all classes!”
We switch to Pepa, because I’m so sure we were all wondering what she was up to. She gets a call that Nacho’s criminal bro is on the loose, and she’s all shocked. I think even Pepa might be putting the pieces together here.
Sonia and Luca make out, and he offers to make her the model for his collection. They have a training (designing?) montage to “Rock the Party” by 5ive. HA! I guess they couldn’t get “Eye of the Tiger.” Also, wait, isn’t that the group with the guy that dated Billie Piper? Will they ever use “Because We Want To“? My friends and I made up a few dances to that one, I won’t lie. Anyway, Peter and Papa C watch them. Peter’s like, “Hey, they’re cute together,” and Papa C’s like, “Peter! I thought we were friends!”
Gloria finally gets done with Dunoff’s work and goes looking for Pablo. Guido and Tomás tell her he’s in the bathroom, and she’s like, “Well, I’ll just go in there and look for him personally!” Jesus, Gloria, you don’t love your job that much. Guido goes into the bathroom and makes farting noises, then comes out pretending it smells terrible in there. He’s like, “You don’t want go in there!” and they manage to deter Gloria for the next ten minutes or so.
Pilar gets the info on Hilda’s ex-boyfriend, and hands it over to Luna. Nico sees them and is like, “How dare you hang out with Pilar! She’s a snitch!” Luna’s like, “How…is it any of your business…” Right? Nico’s friends with Manuel “I’m Planning to Stab Someone” Aguirre, so maybe he should slow his roll. Luna’s like, “Maybe my friends are my own business,” and storms off. “It’s for your own good!” Nico calls after her. Shut up, Nico. He deserves to get dumped this time.
Mansilla comes into Dunoff’s office, where Dunoff is acting bizarrely cheerful. Mansilla tells Dunoff that he’s found a new math teacher. Wait, what? Weren’t they having midterms or finals or whatever, when Feli and Mia got caught cheating? Have they been going half the year without a math class? Amazing. Anyway, Mansilla tries to explain why this math teacher is qualified for the job, but Dunoff’s like, “Whatever, I trust you.” As soon as Mansilla leaves, Dunoff calls Etchamendi and tries to take credit for finding a new teacher. Oh, Dunoff. But Etchamendi shuts him down, and says they’ve already found another teacher. Does Dunoff actually have any responsibilities as the principal? Because it looks like between Mansilla and the school board, he’s pretty much covered.
Criminal Older Brother and Nacho run away. Pepa calls Nacho’s school and realizes he’s not there. It’s boring.
In Marizza’s room, Lujan tries to write a letter to Marcos explaining everything. Unfortunately for Lujan, human emotion is not her forte, and she has to keep starting over. Heh. There’s an interlude for the “Inmortal” video, and we return to see Pilar and Luna come in. Luna says they’re going to study together, and Lujan’s like, “UGH, PILAR,” and leaves. Then Sandra comes in and tells Luna to come see her mother, leaving Pilar alone with Lujan’s letter. Three guesses what she does.
The first two don’t count.
(Also, weirdly, Luna’s binder looks like it says something like “EAT FOOTBALL.” I know everyone in South America loves soccer, but Luna doesn’t strike me as a sports girl.)
Guido comes into the office and says Pablo can’t leave the bathroom, and Gloria’s like, “Fine, then I’ll just go in there myself!” Gloria really doesn’t have anything to do, does she? Guido starts to graphically describe Pablo’s diarrhea, and Gloria’s like, “Nevermind.”
In the hallway, Tomás and Vico are engaged in a mildly friendly conversation, for some reason. I guess they’ve gotten over their torrid affair and subsequent fallout. Guido pops up and says he forged the authorization, so the band is saved! I’m confused. Wasn’t Gloria assuming that “Mama B” was okay with Pablo leaving, so they were just going to find him to tell him he can leave? Does Pablo have to sign it? Whatever. Guido and Vico walk off together, and for some reason Tomás looks all happy that they’re hanging out. He’s like, “Those crazy kids!”
In the teachers’ lounge, Hilda tells the econ teacher to stop stealing kids from her class, and he’s like, “Au contraire, it is you who are stealing them from me!” They realize that Tomás was lying to them and go to Dunoff. Meanwhile, Mansilla’s brought in his choice for the math teacher, and Dunoff’s like, “Whoops, already filled it. This is in no way my fault!” Then Hilda and the econ teacher storm in, and then Gloria tells Dunoff four students are missing. Dunoff’s like, “Why must you all make me do my job!”
Mama Luna tells Luna that her dad got a job in San Luis, so they’re moving right away. Sidebar: one time I met someone from a San Luis in Latin America, and initially I thought we were both from the US because there are a couple of San Luises here. I think every country that’s come in contact with Spain has a town called San Luis. Anyway, there’s a special needs school there that Flor can go to, and Luna wants what’s best for Flor, doesn’t she? Luna doesn’t explicitly agree to it yet, but the guilt trip is already working on her. Well played, Mama Luna.
Criminal Older Brother and Nacho break into some building, and Nacho’s supposed to disable the alarm. Oh God, I’m so bored. Nacho’s supposed to snip the black wire, but there is no black wire, blah blah tension blah. He snips one at random and it works, but then he gets caught by a dog. It’s supposed to be a cliffhanger, but I don’t care at all, so whatever.
Sonia and Luca finish their training montage and show Papa C the finished sketches. They don’t look like much of anything, but okay.
Papa C’s not impressed, and is like, “You have to actually have like, a theme behind the collection.” Luca’s like, “I can’t just turn in a first draft? What?” I think we’re meant to side with Luca and Sonia, and see Papa C as being uptight, but…he has a point. Then the school calls Papa C to tell him Mia’s gone, and so is “Spirito.” Papa C and Sonia get into a fight, again, some more, over their relative inabilities to control their children. They leave for the school, and Luca’s like, “I’m gonna…stay here and keep working, and try to ignore all the weird tension between you two.”
All the kids wander into the main hall after class. Lujan tries to talk to Marcos again, but he turns away dramatically. Everyone gathers around to hang out with each other, which they would never do unless the plot required it. Which it does: Pilar’s newspaper starts falling from the sky, and everyone starts grabbing for it like they’re Harry Potter with his Hogwarts letter. Vico picks one up and reads aloud: “Marcos Aguilar was BRUTALLY BETRAYED by Lujan!” Dammit, Pilar, I was rooting for you! We were all rooting for you! On the other hand: I totally called this! I’m clearly psychic. She comes down the stairs, and for some reason no one puts two and two together — I went back and checked, and while she comes out of class with them, she immediately swerves while they all gather around the stairs. She’s so obvious! Where’s Mia and her detective skillz when you need her?
Anyway, Marcos tries to run away from his humiliation, and Feli grabs him while reading the rest of the article out loud. Guido joins in, and shoves Marcos over to Lujan. Tomás is like, “Ha ha, what would ever make you think Marizza would like you!” Man, I know Marcos is still a nerd, but they haven’t been this mean to him in a while. And since when was Feli actively mean, and not just passive-aggressive and stalky?
Marcos runs away and Lujan flips out, but then Blas rolls up and cuts her off. He and Dunoff line the kids up and tell them that Marizza called the school and told them everything, and whoever steps forward as their accomplices now won’t be punished. It’s so obviously a trap, but frickin’ Feli admits to helping cover for them. Dunoff is like, “Haha, there was no call! Good idea, Blas!” and Blas is like, “I am very good at tricking children!” All the kids are pissed, and Feli is intimidated into admitting Erreway’s off meeting a record label. Dunoff’s like, “And who might that be?”
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