Previously on Rebelde Way: Lujan is a thieving thief. Maybe. She’s acting shady for sure, but then again, so is everyone else in this school. Mia decided the best way to help Feli get over Manuel is to hook her up with Guido, of all people. Pablo was going to try to get himself kidnapped, for reasons, but Papa B busted him.
Opening monologue: Adults and society will tell you what you should be, but you have to make your own way. ~Rebelde~
When we last left our heroes, Pablo was getting busted sneaking out of school by Papa B. As usual, Papa B gets all abusive in a public area and Mansilla has to step in. Mansilla covers for Pablo and tells Papa B that Pablo wasn’t outside setting up his own kidnapping, he was actually sneaking off to meet a giiirl. They BS all over the place about how the Rat is totally NOT INVOLVED and everything is COMPLETELY NORMAL. Papa B is not appeased. Man, all this talking, and not once is it explained how Pablo thought being kidnapped would force Papa B to capitulate to Mama B’s side. I guess because then they’d have to come up with a way for this to make sense.
The sad trailer. Marizza, Nico, and Manuel are having band practice. Nico tells them that he thinks the band needs another girl, plus they’ve gotta replace Pablo. Marizza doesn’t want Mia in the band, but she agrees to find a girl, and Manuel will look for a dude.
Papa C takes Sonia out for dinner to discuss his childrearing problems. He frets that Mia used to be such a good kid and now she’s all ~rebelde~, and Sonia’s like, “Dude, she’s a teenager, this is kind of their thing.” Papa C’s like, “Teenagers are impulsive and hormonal? This is brand new information!” Sonia admits to him that Joaquin was cheating on Mia, and talks him out of setting Joaquin up with a pair of cement boots. Mia has to (and did) deal with it on her own; Papa C getting involved would just embarrass her. They muse over how this is the first civil conversation they’ve ever had, and then a paparazzi gets a photo of them. Scandalous!
Mia messes with Guido some more and asks him to take Feli out. Don’t do her any favors, Mia.
Mansilla calls Pablo into the teachers’ lounge and reads him the riot act for being a complete dumbass. Fair enough, but Pablo doesn’t like that at all. Pablo finally gets to the point of faking the kidnapping: to get money out of Papa B, I guess so Mama B won’t be so completely under his thumb, and they can pay to keep Pablo at Elite Way. Mansilla’s like, “That’s even stupider than I initially thought.” Pablo caves and admits that he hates that Papa B thinks Pablo is like him, and he wants to fight Papa B to prove he doesn’t agree with him. Mansilla’s like, “Well then maybe you should stop acting like him.”
Classroom. Luna tells Marizza that she saw Lujan jacking Cata’s stuff from the cafeteria the other night. Marizza says they should just stick to Manuel’s plan and stalk Lujan even harder.
Dunoff calls Sonia into his office to discuss Marizza’s panic attacks. Sonia laughs off that Marizza has never had panic attacks, and Dunoff melts down that he’s sick of being principal and dealing with students trying to snow him, and the students’ shitty parents, and the board, and Mama D…oh, and that last one is relevant to Sonia’s interests! As usual, she starts stroking Dunoff’s ego about how wonderful he is, blah blah blatant falsehoods blah. She wants to know which parent is making the school board investigate Dunoff, and he tells her it’s probably Papa C. Sonia storms off to go kick Papa C’s ass.
In the cafeteria, Marizza and Luna run down a list of girls in their class, trying to find another singer. Luna suggests Vico, and Marizza’s like, “HOW VERY DARE.” Then she says that Nico is staring at Luna. “Don’t look at him!” Of course Luna looks, and Marizza starts talking loudly to Sandra about how Luna is doing TOTALLY FINE and HASN’T GIVEN A SECOND THOUGHT to STUPID BOYS who DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY’VE LOST. Nico is properly shamed. Manuel tells him that he’s gotta stop pining for Luna, and drags him off to work on finding a replacement for Pablo.
Pablo pulls an Ebenezer Scrooge and rocks up to Tomás and acts all pissed, kicking his locker door shut and asking if Tomás is proud of ratting Pablo out to Papa B. Then he hugs Tomás and thanks him from saving Pablo from his own dumbassery. Manuel, passing by, coos about how cute they are. He’s just jealous that his fights with Nico don’t warrant sad black-and-white montages. Anyway, Pablo tells Nico and Manuel that he can sing in the band again. Tomás is like, “What the fuck, your dad’s gonna kill you.” Pablo tells him that it’s his new plan — to win against his dad, he has to be ~rebelde~.
Cafeteria. Luna frets to Marizza that if Lujan made off with a box from the cafeteria, it means that Lujan is stealing from Luna’s aunt. Marizza’s like, “Yeah, that’s a problem,” but then gets distracted by Diego playing the guitar, and Fernanda and Feli singing with him. (Not Douchey Diego from the last couple of episodes. This is Random, Barely-a-Character Diego. I’ll call him Random Diego.) Marizza’s like, “I didn’t know they were musical!” Marizza, everyone in this school is musical. It’s almost like you’re all part of a musical telenovela. Anyway, she gives them the music for “Inmortal” and Feli sings a couple of lines. Luna and Marizza are all shocked that Feli has a talent besides eating and crying*. I feel kind of bad because she’s so totally going to get pushed out for Mia in the end, but it’s cute that everyone is impressed by her for once.
*Also my main two talents, if we’re being honest.
Guido’s still trying to nail down exactly what Mia wants him to do with Feli. She tells him just to take Feli out and show that he’s interested in her, but not like actually make a move on her, because he has icky Guido germs. Heh.
Papa C’s fashion show. Sonia comes in and starts wrecking shit and yelling at Papa C that she never should’ve trusted him, because he went to the school board and was complaining about her (wasn’t he complaining that Mia went out to a club and started stripping on stage?), and they’ll never be friends! Never! All these histrionics over Dunoff is really embarrassing, I gotta say.
Dunoff leaves to meet with Practically The Owner, and tells Gloria that the school’s under her supervision while he’s gone. He won’t tell her what’s up with the school board, and Gloria starts seething about how she is his MOST FAITHFUL SERVANT, and he doesn’t TRUST her? She storms off to go wreck shit. An excellent opportunity for Manuel and Vico to sneak in! They start making out in the office, all twitterpated by how ~forbidden~ it is. It’s been a while since I was in high school, but “the place where I written up for being tardy” was not high on my list of romantic destinations. Even they get weirded out by mackin’ it in the school office eventually, and they decide to mess with Gloria’s stuff and read her magazines. Manuel reads Vico’s horoscope (she’s a Sagittarius and Manuel is a Capricorn, if anyone cares), and it says that if she’s keeping any secrets from her friends, she should tell them now, consequences be damned. That means Vico should tell Mia she’s dating Manuel! Except…she did? Oh wait, he actually means that Vico should tell Mia that she’s going to the fashion show with Manuel. Everyone keeps so many secrets around here, it’s hard to remember which ones are which. They keep looking through the magazines, and come across the photo of Papa C and Sonia in the restaurant. Vico skedaddles to go show the magazine to Mia.
Classroom. Guido rocks up and asks Feli out, but she shoots him down. He is not pleased: “Look you who have in front of you; I’m the best you’re gonna get!” Ick. Run away, Feli! She tells him she’ll think about it and Guido says he’ll be waiting in the park. Does he mean those two trees in the front of the school? Anyway, Feli gets away from Guido and finds Manuel. She asks him if he’s happier with Vico than he was with her. It’s pretty emotional, except Marcos is in the background doing…I don’t know what he’s doing.
Vico shows Mia the magazine and Mia faints dead away. HEE.
Teachers’ lounge. Mansilla’s like, “Not to cast doubt on your entire method of teaching or anything, but have you considered actually talking to the students for five seconds?” The chem/physics teacher is like, “No. Don’t be silly.” She swans off, chattering about how children should be seen and not heard. Why is Mansilla consistently so surprised by this? Was Elite Way not a terrible school run by teenagers barely chaperoned by negligent adults when he was a kid?
Mama B shows up, and Mansilla tells her that he thinks Pablo tried to stage the kidnapping because he “couldn’t stand” the thought of leaving Elite Way. I mean, you’re going to have to graduate sometime, Pablo! Mama B starts crying all over Mansilla that she doesn’t know what to do. Mama D rounds the corner and sees them hugging, and backs away sadly. Whatever, Mama D. You don’t have a monopoly on complaining about your life to him.
History class. This time it’s Mia who trips out into a bizarre musical daydream. Sonia and Papa C almost fall in love, but then Mia takes her out of the picture (by making her old and ugly, because only young and hot women matter, right?) and Papa C starts doing a dance routine surrounded by teenage girls. That ain’t right. But then Sonia comes back and Papa C likes her anyway! Wrinkles and all! Maybe because he’s also old, Mia, have you considered that? She wakes up all horrified.
Some other set that we haven’t seen before. Dunoff goes to meet Practically The Owner Etchamendi, whose name I finally learned how to spell, in his office, and thanks him for giving the opportunity to stay at Elite Way. “I’m sorry to hear that; we’ll miss you,” Etchamendi says. Dunoff: “No, what I mean is that I want to stay on.” Etchamendi: “Please don’t feel obligated.” HEE. Etchamendi tells him that if Dunoff wants to resign, it’s no problem at all. Seriously, NO PROBLEM. They already have a replacement lined up! His name is Santiago Mansilla! Dunoff’s like, aw HELL no. He assures Etchamendi that he’s going to implement a new disciplinary policy, and it will be TOTALLY RADICAL.
Feli and Manuel talk it out, and he tells her that there a guys out there who will like her. Feli is appeased, and Manuel hops off to go make out some more with Vico or whatever. And then Marizza comes out of nowhere and grabs Feli around the neck all, “YOU MUST SING IN THE BAND!!!” Feli doesn’t want to get onstage, reminding Marizza that everyone (including Marizza) is always laughing at her. “Yeah, I was a dick about that, and I’m sorry,” Marizza says. Just kidding! She’s just like, “Yeah well, stop being such a sadsack and you’ll bring more boys to the yard. Problem solved!”
Mia’s room. Vico suggests that Sonia was only pretending to be nice to Mia to get close to Papa C, and Mia vows to find Papa C a girlfriend. But who? At that exact moment, Gloria walks in. Mia and Vico completely lose their minds and are all, “Maybe Gloria!” Have they forgotten like…Gloria’s entire personality?
Nighttime, main hall. Marizza catches Luna hiding behind the stairway, stalking Lujan as usual. Lujan leaves the cafeteria with another box, and Marizza starts flipping out that they need to follow her. “It’s dangerous!” Luna wails. What? I mean, I know Lujan tends to let her fists do the talking, but it’s not like they can’t both take her. Anyway, Marizza follows Lujan alone and is all like, “Lujan, j’accuse!” Lujan shows her that she was bringing food to some guy she knew as a sad orphan on the streets, and Sandra knew all about it and gave her the boxes to bring to the guy and his wife and his tiny child because they’re poor and cold and hungry. They can only pay Lujan in the tiny child’s pathetic, heartwarming artwork.
The pathos!
Now Marizza feels like a dick, although I gotta say, Lujan could’ve told them about it. It’s not like they don’t already know she used to be homeless, she only brings it up every time she wants to make fun of the other kids for being weaklings. ANYWAY, Lujan storms off and Marizza’s like, “Awkward.”
Back in Mia’s room, she’s musing over all the extra benefits she’d get if Gloria was Papa C’s girlfriend. Vico has come to her senses and backed off of the idea, but Mia’s committed now. Oh, Mia. Then Guido comes in all pissed because Feli stood him up. Because she’s at band practice in the sad trailer! They all run off to find her, but I guess they don’t, because when we cut to them later, Mia’s all ready to go out to the park and look for her. Feli comes in at that moment, and lies to them that she was with Guido. Mia and Vico exchange a Look.
Marizza goes back and tells Luna that they done fucked up. Luna’s crying again because Lujan beat Marizza back to the school and already ripped into Luna. They go back to their room, and Lujan tells them that her tutor sent the computer, so they can back off with accusing her of shit. “You know what? You’re going to end up just like Mia,” she tells them, and stomps off. I’m of two minds about this? I love Lujan, but she’s accused them of weirder things for less, so she’s not really in a position to talk. Plus she straight-up lied to them about the laptop, although they could’ve been upfront about that as well. Whatever.
The next day, Feli asks Guido to lie for her that they went out, and he tells her that he already told them that she stood him up, plus she did leave him hanging and he’s hella pissed. “Who do you think you are?” he snaps. I guess it’s only okay when Mia dicks him around. Feli goes to Mia and Vico and tells them that she lied about being out with Guido, but she can’t tell them what she was really doing. “I’m your best friend, tell me,” Mia says. “I can’t,” says Feli. Mia starts having a panic attack that she’s can’t bend Feli to her will anymore, and Vico picks that moment to tell her that she’s going to Papa C’s fashion show with Manuel. Mia runs off to have a breakdown. It’s so hard being her!!
Mama and Papa B come to see Pablo, and tell him that they’ve made up, and Mama B is going to stay with Papa B. No! Oh, Mama B, you were so close to freedom and being a three-dimensional character 🙁
Lujan goes to the office to try to get her tutor’s number out of Gloria, so she can beg them to pull her out of Elite Way. “I have rights too!” Lujan complains. Ha! Not in this school you don’t. Nevertheless, Gloria ends up forking over the emergency contact number they have for Lujan. Nobody picks up, and Lujan is sad. “I’m sorry,” Gloria says, showing an iota of human empathy for once.
Marizza and Luna lie in wait for Lujan so they can make up with her, but she snippily tells them that she’s leaving school and not coming back. Gloria rolls up and tells them that Lujan has special permission to leave for the day. She’s being really nice to Lujan, I guess because she’s seeing the potential to get rid of one of the students.
Marizza blurts out that Lujan can’t leave. “Why not?” Gloria asks. What wacky excuse will Marizza come up with this time? We’ll find out! Same Bat-time, same Bat-channel!
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