Dude, you know what drives me crazy? When I go to Youtube to watch the next episode of this show, it always recommends the episode I just watched, and then the next five episodes after the one I need to watch. It’s like, “Hmm, she just watched episode 36, why don’t we recommend that one, then episodes 38, 39, and 40?” Like, I’m no good at math either, but even I can do better than that.
Anyway, previously on Rebelde Way: Nico and Luna got together, broke up, got back together, and then broke up again. Marizza and Mia exacted their kind of homophobic revenge on Joaquin, and in doing so, almost exposed Pilar as the writer of the newspaper. Pilar’s lucky everyone at this school is so dumb. And Lujan continued to be bizarrely reasonable and nonviolent.
Opening monologue: True friends are hard to find, but when you do, they will always stand by you and fight for you. I mean, if you’re the main character of a telenovela and your friends don’t have any conflicts or lives of their own to deal with.
We pick up where we left off, with Papa C walking in on Sonia giving the girls beauty advice. You will recall that he was hardcore ignoring Mia, and is only here because Sonia told him she was burning up with a fever. Hijinks! Do you think this will only make him more mad? Everyone scrams and Papa C yells at Mia that every time he finds her in more and more inappropriate situations. Wow, if lying to him about being sick when she was actually in her room talking about cellulite is the worst thing Papa C’s ever seen Mia do, he should be grateful. I mean, at this very moment, Tomás is giving Pablo a key to his parents’ house so Pablo can go wreak havoc over there. Sonia busts in to defend Mia, and Papa C tells her to stop getting involved with his kid. Sonia snipes that Mia’s just had her first heartbreak, and Papa C would’ve known that if he had bothered to listen to her. Oooh, burn. Papa C tries to talk it out with Mia, but she gets all dramatic and runs away.
Mansilla finds Tomás being emo in the main hall, and asks him if he thinks it’s better to go along with every madcap plan Pablo comes up with, or if a real friend would stop him when he’s being insane. Tomas is like, “I’m not smart enough to answer this :(” Just kidding. Mansilla tells him that he’s been eavesdropping and he knows Pablo’s got Tomás mixed up in something. Tomás wails that Pablo will kill him if he tattles, and Mansilla heaves a huge sigh and leaves him to it. Poor dumb Tomás.
Papa C catches Dunoff in the hall and Papa C is snippy and passive-aggressive with him. I only mention this because you can see the signs for the girls’ dorms behind them, and Marizza’s name is spelled “Maritza.” Again. When did they decide it was spelled with two Zs instead? Whatever, I don’t really care.
Marizza’s room. Luna has a poster of a band that she won from a Pepsi contest (dig the product placement!), and Marizza pins it up on Lujan’s side of the room just to mess with her. Heh. Marizza finds Lujan’s laptop in the closet and she’s all like, “This is suspicious! Lujan is too poor to own a laptop!” Oh, the early 2000s. I remember my friend’s dad was this ~businessman~ and he had a laptop and it had this tiny, tiny trackball right in the middle of the keyboard for the mouse. It was amazing. ANYWAY, Luna suggests that something shady is up with the laptop: she’s not saying Lujan stole it, but Lujan IS really close-lipped about her life, not to mention she leaves on the weekends but no one knows where she goes. Uh, have they ever at any point shown Lujan going out on the weekend? I thought she stayed in and lifted weights in bed. Whatever. Just then, Lujan comes in and Luna and Marizza not-so-subtly ask if she knows anyone who has a laptop, as she wants to look further into Marcos’s brother’s death. Lujan’s like, “No, nope. No, no, noooo. No. Also, no, some more.” Someone doth protest too much. Luna and Marizza are suspicious.
Papa C comes down on Manuel for not stalking Mia good enough, and Manuel promises to find out what went down between Mia and Joaquin. “Maybe I should look after my daughter myself and establish a trusting relationship so she’ll feel comfortable talking to me, instead of asking one of her classmates to stalk her,” Papa C doesn’t say. He leaves, and Manuel evil monologues that he won’t tell Papa C what happened, and let him twist for a while. Just stab him already, Manuel!
Cafeteria. Vico and Feli tell Mia that they decided to stop fighting. “Yeah, I’m never going to forgive Vico ever, but other than that, we’re cool,” Feli says. “That’s great!” Mia squeals. Oh, Mia. Vico points out that if Manuel wasn’t going out with her, he’d be with someone other girl anyway. “That’s true,” Mia says. Oh, MIA. Feli gets huffy and leaves. Mia decides that they need to get Feli a boyfriend stat, because as we know, girls need boys to validate their self-worth. She busts out her digital camera and snaps a photo of one of the random Diegos.
In the not-library, Lujan shows Marizza how to google. “First you click here, and then here, and there you go,” she tells her. HEE! Marizza decides that her ruse has gone on too long and escapes to the cafeteria. Lujan sits down and starts googling shit herself.
Cafeteria. Nico tells Manuel and Pablo that the club only wants them if Mia’s in the group, by which he means that they want a girl to strip on stage. Ew. Manuel snips that Mia’s not the only girl in the world. An excellent time for Marizza to waltz in! Manuel is all for replacing Mia with Marizza, but Pablo’s like, “NO, she has COOTIES.” Meanwhile, Luna and Marizza argue some more over whether or not Lujan is a thieving thief. Then Lujan rocks up saying she found out some stuff about Marcos’s brother using her Google skillz. Apparently Cata was somehow involved, because she pops up and a scare chord goes off. Gasp! Could Cata be more than a vaguely confused and unmotivated cafeteria worker?
Gloria forgets to tell Dunoff about some meeting with some dude who’s “practically the owner of the school.” I try to care. Dunoff tries to suck up to the guy — Echamendi? Something like that — but he’s all pissy because one of the rich and important parents went to the board to complain about how Dunoff has no control over the students. What, it took them this long to notice? Dunoff starts blustering about how parents can be dicks and teenagers are assholes and navigating that is hard, you know? “That’s part of your job,” Practically The Owner deadpans. Hee. He tells Dunoff that if he doesn’t start actually principaling soon, the board is going to replace him.
History class. Apparently they’ve moved on from the Unitarians and Federalists and the British invasions of the Rio de Plata, and are onto Jose Artigas and the Banda Oriental. Hilda asks if anyone has anything to contribute, and Marizza shrieks, “I’ve got it!” Hilda gets all twitterpated at the idea that one of the students (besides Marcos) might have actually done the homework, but Marizza’s like, “Oh no, I just meant I figured something out about Marcos and his dead brother, sry.” Just kidding, she fakes a panic attack and drags Marcos out of the room with her. She shows him an article about Ignacio’s death that they found on the Internet, that confirms that he died from horseback riding under the influence. So like, this whole thing could’ve been resolved if they’d bothered to google five episodes ago? Instead of being grateful, though, Marcos tells her to stop messing in his life. Marizza’s like, “You didn’t want me to keep dragging up your brother’s traumatic death? I am shocked and appalled!”
Mama D tells Dunoff she’ll help him win over the board, but Dunoff has other ideas: he wants to just resign and find another job. Mama Dunoff starts flipping out that he did the exact same thing with the military, and he’s not exactly at a great age to be starting over. Besides, Elite Way is a good place for them to be: if all else fails, they can always marry Pilar off to some rich guy and get much money! She gets all threateny that he needs to stick it out at Elite Way or else.
Papa B shows up to school and tells Pablo that he’s changed his mind; Pablo will stay at Elite Way and Papa B’s going to get custody of him no matter what. Pablo gets on the phone with some Mysterious Person and tells whoever it is that they need to move the plan up, and Mysterious Person should meet Pablo at the school. After he hangs up, a bunch of girls roll up and ask Pablo to help them with their math homework, and he’s all twitterpated and forgets his phone on the bench. Tomás immediately scurries up to see who Pablo was calling, which turns out to be someone called “the Rat.” Not suspicious at all!
Meanwhile, Luna is asking Manuel for life advice. He advises that she’s gotta stop running dramatically out of the room every time she sees Nico. Hee. But no, Luna actually wants help with Lujan, although she doesn’t mention her name. What would Manuel do if he suspected a friend was stealing? Manuel’s like, “Stalk them, duh.” That’s his solution for everything, isn’t it? Their conversation gets cut short by Gloria, who rolls up and tells Manuel that Papa C is calling for him. Luna’s like, “Uh, why is Mia’s dad calling YOU?” She scrams and and Manuel tells Papa C that, shockingly, his mortal nemesis and her friends weren’t hugely forthcoming with information about her personal life. Over in Papa C’s office, Peter suggests that he try asking Sonia Rey.
Cafeteria. Marizza is sulking about Joaquin again. Uh, why doesn’t Manuel just ask Marizza what happened with Joaquin? He doesn’t, though. Instead, he appeals to her ego and asks if she wants to be in a band. Marizza squeals for like ten minutes straight and then does a gratuitous dance routine. Oh, Mia will not like this at all.
Mia shows Vico the photo she snapped of Diego, and squeals that he’s perfect for Feli. Vico’s like, “Has he ever expressed any interest in Feli ever though?” Mia’s like, “Stop saying words.”
Pablo meets the Rat outside the school. He’s an older dude with a shady-ass goatee, which is setting off several stranger danger bells for me, but Pablo just tells him to keep working on their plan. Tomás pops up and tries to talk him out of dealing with randos with suspicious facial hair, but Pablo tells him to butt out.
Tomás runs off to spill everything to Mansilla, and he promises to help out, but asks Tomás to stay out of it. Tomás is like, “This telenovela is marketed towards teenagers, so…no.” Mansilla hella unsubtly calls the Rat and is like, “Yo, I have a message from Pablo. He wants you to just like, forget about whatever it is you guys are doing. He can’t come to the phone, but he totally told me to tell you this.” Shockingly, the Rat doesn’t fall for this.
Mia decides to throw a party and invite Diego so she can push him and Feli together. She tells Diego that it’ll be him, her, Pablo, and Feli, but Mia and Pablo both have stuff to do, so~*~*~ Diego cottons on that it’ll be just him and Feli and punks out. Rude! Guido sidles up and tries to hit on Mia, and she yells at him that he’s greasy and stupid. Guido’s like, “That was hot.”
Dunoff’s office. Hilda wants him to investigate Marizza’s panic attacks — if they’re for real, that’s a problem, but if Marizza was just faking it to get out of class, Hilda WILL NOT STAND for that.
Papa B meets Mansilla in some cafe, which is not either of the cafes that have been used before. I’m glad we’re expanding our locations here! Anyway, Papa B’s like, “Mwahaha, I knew one day you would come to the dark side and ask for my mafioso help!” Mansilla’s like, “…no, this is a parent-teacher conference.” Heh. Mansilla lays out Pablo’s plan: he was arranging with the Rat to be kidnapped (and I guess taken to Tomás’s house), which would…force Papa B’s hand somehow? I don’t know. Papa B’s like, “Hold up, that guy works for me, how is this happening?” For some reason Mansilla gets all pissy and snaps that he doesn’t have all day to explain it and storms off. I hate to side with Papa B, but you can’t just throw something like that out there with no explanation, Mansilla!
Cafeteria. Sandra is doing Lujan’s hair, and Luna whispers to Marizza that according to Manuel, the solution is to just stalk Lujan all day every day, so they can see if she’s really a thief or not. But Luna has to do it alone, because Marizza has secret band practice to get to, bye! Lujan also tries to kick Luna out, and she yells at her until Luna runs away. Jesus Christ, Lujan. The second Luna goes, Lujan grabs the box Cata was carrying earlier and scurries out of the cafeteria with it. Luna watches suspiciously.
Papa C visits Sonia at the theater to ask for her help with Mia. Sonia needles him a bit, but agrees when she realizes he’s serious.
Feli catches up to Diego and says Mia told her that he was asking about her. Diego completely blows his top all “I WOULD NEVER GO TO PARTY WITH YOU, I AM BUSY SATURDAY AND SUNDAY AND EVERY DAY AFTER, AND I WOULD NEVER EVEN BE SEEN IN PUBLIC WITH YOU EVER.” Diego’s really overrating himself, considering he’s even less of a character than Fernanda and Random Amanda. Feli emos to Mia that she knows no boys like her. Mia insists that her mysterious admirer totally does exist — in fact, it’s Guido! Oh my God, Mia, why would you do that to Feli?
Someone calls Papa B to tell him that they’ve found out that Pablo was going to stage a kidnapping with the Rat. Papa B’s all shocked, like…Mansilla literally didn’t just tell him that? He lies in wait outside the school and busts Pablo sneaking out. Whatever. It was a stupid plan anyway!
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