Previously on Rebelde Way: Manuel and Mia were on an island, then they were on a different island, now they’re trapped on this island and they’re probably never going to go back to school, not that that would make a difference in their education anyway.
So Manuel went out to look for help, and just as he’s getting fatigued and starting to drown, a boat passes by! Will Mia and Manuel finally get to go back to school? The boat picks him up, and it takes them until nighttime to get back to the island. He finds Mia’s death note and starts crying that she’s committed suicide after like five hours alone.
Sonia and Andres rocked up to the restaurant where Marizza and Pablo were on dates (with two different people), because apparently this is the only restaurant in Buenos Aires. Sonia freaks out at the sight of Marizza playing tonsil hockey with Ivan and starts shrieking about “exhibitionism”, like Marizza somehow got that behavior from someone who’s not her. I don’t know why she’s picking now to get up on a high horse about Marizza’s behavior, either. Their fighting attracts the attention of everyone in the restaurant, including the host and Pablo. Marizza runs out of the restaurant and everyone else is like, “Awkward.”
Sol and Diego have been caught riding around in his uncle’s Porsche, and now they’re on the receiving end of a lecture from Dunoff. He blathers on about how he thought new students would make the fourth years less ~rebelde~, but clearly not! Diego says he didn’t think it was a big deal, since the car was his…dad’s? I don’t know, I wasn’t really listening to him hit on Sol the first time around, so I just picked a generic older male relative. Either way, Diego thought it was cool since he’s family, ignoring the fact that he doesn’t have a license. Sol happily throws Diego under the bus and claims that she didn’t know Diego couldn’t drive. “Whose side are you on?” Diego bleats. “The side of not being an idiot,” Sol snaps. Hee. Dunoff tells them that their parents will decide on a punishment, and Sol cries that her parents are going to cancel all her magazine subscriptions. Life is hard, man.
Back at Casa Colucci, Sonia emos that she didn’t realize Marizza was growing up so fast. So…it didn’t hit her when Marizza was dating that 20-year-old guy with a baby? Just asking. Andres gently ribs her about how she’ll be a grandma soon, and Sonia flips out about being called an abuela. This is the exact same joke they did when Marizza first started dating Simon. Sonia says she has to leave and get some sleep because she has rehearsal tomorrow (Sonia? Caring about her job? Perish the thought!) and Andres suggests that she sleep over at Casa Colucci. Wait, isn’t one or both of them supposed to be going to Ecuador? Whatever. Sonia shoots him down, but Andres won’t let her leave. Yikes! Andres suggests that Sonia wear Papa C’s pajamas and sleep in his room, and it’s a pretty weird suggestion from someone who’s trying to get into Sonia’s pants himself? Unless he’s in love with Papa C and using Sonia as a proxy. Anyway, they go back and forth and oh my God, just let her leave the house, man. Eventually he succeeds in bowling her over, and she gets Papa C’s room while Andres gets the couch. Sonia better lock the door.
Guido goes to apologize to his parents. He offers to help around the shop and learn butcher things, and then he…stares at a cow pattern on the wall, which dissolves into a cow-patterned dress and a pair of boobs (what?), which turns out to be a trippy dance sequence. All the girls dance around Guido, and then they pin a blue ribbon on him and hand him a pig to…imply that being a butcher makes him just like an animal? Or that he’s the best butcher in town, and that’s an insult because he doesn’t want to be a butcher at all? I don’t know, but either way, it turns out to be all just a dream. Guido wakes up in a panic, promising he’ll never go back to his parents’ shop. Ah, I should’ve known that Guido being a decent person wasn’t real. He calls Vico’s phone, but it’s 5 in the morning and only Pilar is awake to pick up. She offers to wake up Vico, but Guido says it’s fine. I bet it won’t be.
Manuel runs around the island, wailing Mia’s name. He finds her passed out from the vapours or whatever and he cries all over her and it’s so corny, I’m laughing so hard. Mia regains consciousness and whispers “YOU CAME BACK” all dramatically, like he wasn’t gone for like half a day at the most.
This looks like a Harlequin cover.
Pablo and Marizza go back to their rooms and talk to Tomás and Lujan, respectively, about their problems. Lujan is all shocked that Marizza’s date with Ivan didn’t go well, which she would’ve known if she, you know, paid any attention to Ivan’s personality at all. Marizza grumbles that she doesn’t know why she was even considering giving Pablo a second chance; meanwhile, Tomás encourages Pablo to just forget about Marizza. This is making me realize that Pablo and Marizza probably could’ve worked things out if it weren’t for their friends’ terrible advice.
The very night that Sonia stays over at Casa Colucci, Papa C comes back early. I, for one, am shocked at this plot twist! He goes to his room and finds Sonia in his bed, and is about as happy as that as you’d expect. There’s the usual amount of yelling, and then Sonia needles him that Andres’s pajamas are comfier than Papa C’s. What a bizarre thing to have a pissing match over.
The next day, Mia and Manuel are perfectly fine, and we never see them actually get off the island. Fine, why not. Now they have to get back home, and Mia finally sucks it up and calls her dad. Except I guess they don’t need help getting back home at all, even if they’ve presumably missed their flight. Papa C just yells that they’re going to have a long talk about these shenanigans when she gets back, which sounds like it should be tomorrow. Now they just have to hope that Mia and Manuel don’t get into another life-threatening situation within the next twelve hours.
Vico and Fernanda are trying to get Feli to leave her room, with varying levels of sensitivity. Marizza is the one to comfort her, saying that Feli did the right thing, telling Francisco how she felt. I don’t know what to do with this new universe, where Marizza is the nicest person in a room. Francisco also comes in to comfort Feli, and he’s very nice about her jumping on him and sticking her tongue down his throat. He muses that someone must have set a trap for Feli: making her think that Francisco liked her, and then setting up a camera to capture her making a move on him. And he’s going to figure out who that was! Ah, this school needed a new Boy Detective now that Nico is gone.
Laura tries to convince Lujan that there’s nothing going on between her and Marcos. Lujan is still super salty about it, though, and Laura’s like, “Nothing is going on, I swear! Please don’t hit me with your fists of fury!” See, I feel like begging for Lujan’s forgiveness is much more in line with what we know about Laura, instead of that bizarre display of attitude she gave her at the soccer field. She explains that away by saying that Lujan confronted her like a total dick (that’s just Lujan’s personality, Laura, get used to it), but she likes her and doesn’t want to fight. Lujan grudgingly agrees, since they need another person to fill out their trio now anyway.
Everyone reconvenes in class. Vico is pissed at Guido, but sadly does not dump him. Francisco walks Feli in, while Rocco snickers, because he is a douche. Nobody else says anything, though — Sol, who sits next to Feli now (I bet Mia will love that), is too busy whining about getting in trouble because of Diego. She blows him off when he comes in, which Tomás is happy about. Then Dunoff marches in and shows everyone the headline of the newspaper: “Millionaire students with a license to steal?” Yes, after all this time, the douchey behavior of the Elite Way kids is catching up to them. Sing it with me: “THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE IN THE HISTORY OF ELITE WAY SCHOOL!” And thus, they must be punished! Severely! But not so severely that they get kicked out, because Dunoff needs that sweet tuition money. All the kids protest that it was Sol and Diego’s free time, so they can’t get in trouble for something they did outside of school, but Dunoff is unmoved. He grounds all of them, no one is allowed to leave campus anymore during their free periods, and they have to clean the whole school because they don’t have any janitors.
Mia and Manuel spend one last day in the Galapagos, and the crew tries to get their last mileage out of the location. They wander around the beach and make out in the forests and somehow manage not to get into another life-or-death situation.
Sol tries to hit on the not-at-all hot math teacher, but he blows her off and tells her to ask Marcos or Laura if she needs help after class. Hee. He leaves, but the kids can’t, as they have to stay in the classroom for more punishment. Marizza is like, “This will not stand! We must be rebelde!” Pablo’s like, “Huh?” and Marizza’s like, “For the slower people among us, we have to get out of this punishment.” Ha! Little does she know, however, that Dunoff is watching them try to cook up a plan from his office, while eating popcorn. That is hilarious. The kids decide to rig up an explosive, because apparently they learned how to do that in chem class (what the fuck). Lujan drags Marcos off to make the bomb, and they decide that they’ll put it in Dunoff’s office.
Me watching this show, tbh.
Papa C is all cranky with Andres for “spending the night with [his] WORST ENEMY!” Papa C is so overdramatic. Andres insists that he didn’t spend the night with anybody, which is technically true, but I saw you not letting her leave and basically manhandling her into Papa C’s room. I WAS WATCHING, ANDRES.
Lola wanders around inside, complaining to Bianca that life sucks, and her sister sucks, and this school sucks, and EVERYTHING SUCKS, OKAY? “I dunno, I like it here,” Bianca mumbles. Lola’s like, “How very dare you have a different opinion from me!” and Bianca apologizes. “Ugh, don’t say you’re sorry!” Lola snaps. Jesus, what do you want from her? I feel like Bianca should get new friends, but as far as I can tell Lola is the only other character in third year, so she’s shit out of luck. Lola collects herself and apologizes for being a dick. Then they randomly find a dog outside (these two just attract the wild fauna of Elite Way, don’t they?). Lola wants to keep it, but Bianca wails that they’ll get in trouble. Lola susses out that Bianca’s never had a pet, and is like, “Here, keep this random dog that we just found as a pet!” Well, if they can hide a 9-year-old boy in the school, I guess a dog isn’t that much of a stretch.
Marcos rigs up his exploding chemistry project in the classroom. It’s really not inconspicuous, which to me begs the question as to how they plan to sneak it inside Dunoff’s office. He warns them that the chemical proportions have to be exact to cause the right kind of explosion, otherwise it might actually cause some damage. Well, shit, don’t telegraph too clearly what’s gonna happen next!
As usual, Sonia ditches her rehearsal right in the middle to hang out with Andres. He asks her out on a date, and she agrees, and they act like this is some new development even though they were literally on a date at the beginning of this episode?
Now that the bomb is made, the class has a new problem, which is how to get it inside Dunoff’s office. Didn’t I just say…? Nevermind. Laura brings in a big plaster bust of Dunoff, which…how did they even find that? Did they just make it on five minutes’ notice? Oh my God, whatever. Rocco films the whole thing, which makes me wonder why nobody thinks he’s the snitch. He’s the only one getting everything they’re doing on film! Anyway, Dunoff watches them cart off his bust and cackles that they have no idea what’s in store.
Then we cut to a commercial break, and hey! This show is brought to you by Larousse, aka the people who made every single dictionary for the language class you had to take in high school.
Marizza, Lujan, Marcos, Francisco, and Guido for some reason present the bust to Dunoff. They claim it’s a peace offering, to show how very sorry they are for disrespecting his institution and all his efforts to educate them in the three subjects of math, literature, and gym. They all overdramatically kiss the bust’s head, and Dunoff whips out a handkerchief and starts pretending to cry. Hee! After they leave, he pulls two vials of chemicals out of his desk drawer, and we hear a voiceover of Marcos saying, “If the proportions were just a little bigger, it could cause a disaster…DISASTER…(DISASTER).”
Andres takes Sonia back to the same restaurant they were at earlier, and they’re like, “It’s so nice to be on a date here, for the first time!” Andres tells her that he likes her and they almost make out, but they’re interrupted by a phone call from Papa C. He invites her along to meet Mia and Manuel at the airport, and Sonia’s like, “I will never go anywhere with you, and let me lay out my reasons why, in bullet point format, with citations.” Andres is like, “Ooookay,” and the mood is officially dead.
Francisco finds Rocco in the bathroom and gets up in his face about making the tape of Feli. He’s about to beat him up (and calls him a f*g), but then Pilar runs in and breaks it up. She’s like, “Rocco and I have done nothing wrong!” and drags Rocco on out of there. Rocco stops to get one more dig in at Francisco about him being an uncivilized animal from the ~countryside~, and then they waltz on out of there. Francisco seethes.
Also, Rocco’s hair has somehow gotten even worse in the span of five episodes. HOW? (Pilar’s hair, on the other hand, is fab.)
Mia professes her love to Manuel again, some more, and they make out. GO BACK TO SCHOOL ALREADY!
Dunoff calls all the parents — plus Marizza and Etchamendi — to his office to witness their children’s latest ~rebeldía. The bust is still sitting on his cabinet, surrounded by caution tape and two policemen. He announces that the students have planted a bomb in his office, and all the parents are like, “Gasp! Peas and carrots! Peas and carrots!” Dunoff says all the kids involved will be expelled, and Marizza’s like, “Yikes.” Then he’s like, “Bomb squad, take it away!” Now that he’s gone through all this trouble, it’s not gonna blow up, is it?
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