Welp, scratch what I said about my country not throwing itself off of a cliff, LMAO. But in other big, serious, and much better news: Argentina has legalized abortion! This is genuinely wonderful news, and just think, if Rebelde Way ever gets rebooted, this whole tedious Feli subplot can be written out.
Previously on Rebelde Way: Miranda has found out that Feli is pregnant, thanks to a nurse who’s like, “Why call her parents instead of just telling a teacher who, though well-meaning and a mandatory reporter, is not actually the first person who needs to know about this?”
Lujan, meanwhile, has successfully been manipulated into believing that her two-year friendship with Marizza was never real, in the span of two weeks. Hard to tell if Javier is a master manipulator or if all the kids at Elite Way are just really dumb.
Marizza asks Lujan what the hell happened to her in the two weeks since Marizza’s been gone, and like Francisco, Lujan finally admits that she felt abandoned while Marizza went on tour. Marizza protests and says that her email wasn’t working, because none of us knew how email worked in the 2000s, but Lujan doesn’t believe her. Marizza brings up Blas’s death, and admits that she was happy to hear that he died, because all he did was abuse Lujan. She’s not wrong! Lujan says that even if Blas was cruel to her, at least he was honest about how he felt, unlike everyone else at this school. Er, but wasn’t Lujan all like, “He only abused me for the greater good!” when Blas died? I don’t know.
Despite trying to keep Vico away from her dad, Rocco accompanies her to see him anyway. Vico’s dad is working as a busboy and seems to have cleaned up his act. Rocco tries to needle him about coming back to Buenos Aires, but Vico’s dad just insists that he’s doing much better and hands over some of his tip money, saying he plans to pay Rocco back. He promises that he’s trying to change, for real this time. Vico is thrilled, but Rocco is understandably skeptical. After they leave, he tries to convince Vico that her dad hasn’t really changed, but Vico refuses to believe him and says that she plans to go visit her dad at his house.
Mia and Francisco have made it over to Lalo and Feli’s apartment, where Miranda is also still hanging around. He says he’ll call Feli’s family, and she quickly tries to shut him down. Miranda’s like, “Ooookay” and goes outside to call a taxi. Mia muses that it’s super weird that Miranda wants to call Feli’s family. Maybe he knows that she’s pregnant! Or maybe a school would in fact try to call a student’s family if said student had a medical emergency. Anyway, they’re all like, “Nah, there’s no way anyone found out,” and go back to school.
Pilar and Fernanda come back to school from another photo shoot. Tomás runs up to them and Pilar snarks at him about cheating on her with the Rio Negro girls again. “I didn’t do anything I need to be ashamed of!” Tomás snaps at her. Jesus Christ. Even if Tomás did the bare minimum of not actually physically cheating on Pilar, he still spied on the Rio Negro girls every chance he got and spent a good amount of time hitting on them. GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER, TOMÁS. “But if you do those nude photos, I’ll kill you,” he says. Charming! Pilar reminds him that he’s not her boyfriend anymore, and Tomás says he’s worried about her just as a friend. Pilar tells him to mind his own beeswax.
Pablo tells Tomás that he’s been kicked out of his house. Tomás offers to lend him money, but then his mom calls him and says that she’s cutting off Tomás’s allowance, on account of him being a sex offender and all. Tomás is like, “What did I do to deserve that?!” Pablo sighs that he’s just gonna have to get a job, even if it means he has to sneak out of school to go work. Once again, we have seen evidence that kids waltz in and out of this school all the time (Pilar and Fernanda just came back from a modelling job that their parents don’t know about), but it’s only a problem when the characters remember it is. Whatever.
Manuel tells Marcos that his headaches are all better, everything is fine, so it’s time for him to stop being emo and get his life back on track. With 20 episodes to go! You couldn’t have done this like, sometime around the Bariloche subplot, Manuel? Marcos asks if that includes going after Mia, and Manuel hems and haws that he’s not sure, since he thinks maybe they should try being friends first, plus there’s the whole Francisco thing. This conversation is weird to me because at no point over the last few episodes did I ever get the sense that Manuel wanted to get back with Mia. I mean, he definitely still thought he owned her and verbally abused her every time she tried to move on with her life, but like, he never seemed to actually miss her. Whatever x2. Manuel adds, though, that Francisco was pissed that Mia never emailed him while she was on tour, so maybe they’re about to break up soon and he can finagle his way back into her life. Marcos is like, “Puede ser” and Manuel is like “Puede ser” and Marcos is like, “Puede ser?” and Manuel is like, “Puede ser!” No! In the immortal words of this show, no puede ser!
Marizza semi-apologizes to Papa C for calling him Sonia’s gigolo, and Papa C tries to get her to open up about why she doesn’t like him. Marizza admits that the only man she wants Sonia to be with is Martavio, and Papa C’s like, “Sorry, but he fucked off to Southern Argentina, and no one ever comes back from there.” Not in so many words. He tells her that her parents don’t want to be together and she should be mature about it, and Marizza’s like, “Have we met?” She huffs that she’s still sorry, though, and Papa C asks if she’s just apologizing so she can go out. Marizza briefly flashes back to Mia telling her that she’ll catch more flies with honey, but then she’s like, “Nah, politeness is for squares.” She tells Papa C that actually, she’s not sorry after all, and she’s leaving and he can’t stop her! Papa C mildly tells her that she can leave and he’ll work it out with Sonia. Marizza squeals her thanks and apparently doesn’t realize that Papa C is doing the exact thing Mia was talking about, the dumbass.
Mia and Francisco take Feli back to school. Maxi is there waiting for Feli, but they manage to put him off, saying Feli doesn’t feel well. After that, Francisco tells Mia that he’s ready to just put the tour and everything behind him, presumably so Mia stops asking questions about the past two weeks, and Francisco can continue to conceal his cheating on her. He asks if she’s really over Manuel, and Mia assures him that she was only being nice to Manuel because everyone thought he was going to die, but he’s not, so who gives a shit now. “I felt bad for him,” she says. Naturally, Manuel walks into the frame at that moment and overhears it all. He closes his eyes and tries to look sad but mostly looks constipated, as Manuel so often does. (No offense to Felipe Colombo.) (He’s not the worst actor on this show.) (Although it’s a low bar.)
A while later, Mia finds Feli in her room, and tells her that she can’t put Maxi off with excuses forever. Feli loudly wails that this is the only way to hide her super secret, can’t-tell-anyone, her-mom-will-kill-her-if-she-finds-out relationship with Lalo. Naturally, Sol overhears all this. Honestly, everyone in this school would save themselves a world of trouble if they just looked over their shoulders before yelling out sensitive information.
The next day, Michi is back at school, having come back from her Convenient Plot Disappearance. Miranda asks if she can bring him a copy of the school district’s guidelines for suspensions and expulsions, and Michi hems and haws that Elite Way doesn’t really follow the department of education’s rules, if he gets what she means. Miranda asks her to bring him both sets of rules, then, and Michi’s like, “Oh God, what’s happened now?”
Guido finally comes back to school and yells at Tomás for abandoning him at the girls’ school. He’s like, “And by the way, those girls were demons! Terrors! We should start burning all women as witches!” Pablo’s like, “So you learned nothing, huh.” Guido snaps that Tomás should do the final piece of the project — presumably a writeup — for Miranda and Tomás tells him that he’s too busy worrying about Pilar, and Guido gets mad again at the mention of Pilar. He thinks Tomás owes him because he made Guido think Pilar was pregnant that one time, and then Guido accidentally told Laura and got in trouble with her. What? What did Laura possibly do to Guido besides give him some stern looks? I don’t know why he’s still hung up on this. Anyway, then Pablo’s like, “Since when is Pilar pregnant?” and Tomás says Pilar isn’t pregnant, but someone else is. Pablo’s like, “Then who?” and Tomás briefly flashes back to Pilar telling him that it’s Feli, but he has to keep his trap shut. He manages not to spill the beans and runs away instead. Hee.
Javier sees Lujan being emo and takes the opportunity to emotionally manipulate her some more. He hugs her and tells her that he won’t abandon her like Marizza or Marcos did, and Lujan’s like, “I’ve literally witnessed you lie to Marizza all through your relationship with her, but I believe you now!” Marcos comes across them hugging and pulls Javier off Lujan, threatening to fight him, but Lujan snipes that she wanted Javier to hold her (gross), because they’re dating now. Marcos is shocked and appalled, as we all are.
Pablo goes to the cafeteria, only to find that he can’t buy any food because he doesn’t have any money. So…meals aren’t included with tuition? Kids who don’t have pocket money — including the scholarship students — just starve? Pablo sweet talks the cafeteria guy into giving him a sandwich anyway and then spends the rest of the scene yelling at anyone who tries to touch it. Heh. Tomás comes in and says that he’s been looking through the newspaper for a job but can’t find anything. Pablo says that they’ll have to keep looking, then weirdly says that Guido has to find a job with them too. Why? I mean, I would love to see Guido broken under the wheel of capitalism, but I don’t see how Tomás and Pablo’s financial woes actually concern him.
Mia runs into Manuel in the hall and asks how he’s doing. He snaps at her to go pity someone else and storms off. Mia is confused even though she really ought to be used to Manuel’s passive-aggressive bullshit by now. Vico comes up and tells Mia about her dad; Mia is much more enthusiastic than Rocco, but still hedges that Rocco is right to be worried. Nevertheless, she supports Vico when Vico says that she wants to go visit her dad later in the day. This can’t end well.
After reviewing the two sets of school rules, Miranda tells Michi that he wants to speak to Etchamendi right away. Michi is cagey about setting up the meeting, but when Miranda questions her, she runs off.
Marizza asks Marcos to recap what exactly happened with Lujan; he basically recaps the Lujan scenes from 2×146 onwards. I recommend just reading my recap instead of listening to Marcos’s, because he doesn’t even reference Mean Girls once. Marcos bitters that Javier latched on Lujan when she was upset and wore her down until they started dating. Marizza thinks that this is just a fling, but Marcos says that they’re officially calling themselves boyfriend and girlfriend, which I guess is as official as you could get before social media existed.
Sonia comes back to Casa Colucci and for some reason Papa C is in a terrible mood, even though he seemed pretty happy about outwitting Marizza the last time we saw him. Whatever. They fight a bit over Papa C feeling purposeless without a job. He’s like, “I hate having to sit inside, relying on your income, not being able to go out and be useful, or have anything to do to stimulate my mind!” Someone take the vote away from him, quick, and then he can live like women have for the past millenium. Sonia tells him that he should use his newfound free time to think about telling Mia the truth.
Vico goes to ask permission from Miranda to leave the school. Before she goes in to talk to him, Michi stops her and asks Vico to try and look at his desk for any clues about what he’s up to. “I think he’s looking for a reason to expel someone,” she stage-whispers to Vico. Vico’s like, “Omg, who?!” and Michi’s like, “I don’t know, but probably someone in fourth year, since you guys are the main characters of this show.” Conveniently, as soon as Vico walks into the room, Miranda says he has to do something and pops out for a minute, allowing Vico to look at the binder full of paperwork. She sees that he has it open to a page about suspension and expulsions, with one of the sections dealing with pregnancies. Oh snap!
Pablo asks Lalo to bring him all the periodicals from his kiosk so that the boys can job-hunt. Lalo takes the opportunity to ask if Pablo can tell Feli that he’s here, because he needs to speak to her. Pablo runs off to find Feli, and Sol pops up in the background, having overheard the whole thing (again, some more). She calls Maxi, who’s like, “Aren’t you mad at me because I couldn’t advance your modelling career?” Sol’s like, “Whatever, bygones! Just hurry up and get to school NOW.”
Vico asks Miranda for permission to leave school in the afternoon. He reminds her that all the students have two free afternoons per week — this is news to me, and I’ve watched 200+ episodes of this silly show — and Vico hedges that she needs more. She claims Dunoff already gave her permission and Miranda’s like, “Oh? Did he write you a note?” Vico: “Oh, are you always this careful with your paperwork?” Miranda closes the binder and snarks that he tries to be.
Pablo finds Feli hanging out with Marizza, for some reason. They don’t even like each other! Marizza has never stopped being rude about her! Whatever, this is only so that Pablo can sit down in Feli’s seat once she leaves and immediately tells Marizza about the mystery pregnant girl. He thinks Tomás is “covering for another girl” — I can’t tell if he means that he thinks Tomás knows who’s pregnant, or he thinks Tomás got another girl pregnant. Anyway, Marizza says that she’ll ask Lujan, as that will give her the perfect excuse to try and talk to her again. Then Pablo remembers that he left all the newspapers with Lalo and has to run off again.
Lalo tries to convince Feli to come back to the apartment. She assures him that she’s fine at school and he’s like, “It’s okay, I can tell that my socioeconomic status revolts you.” Heh. He tells her that living in a shitty apartment and trying to make ends meet is real life, how most people have to live. He’s not wrong. Feli asks him to be patient with her, and just then, Maxi walks in. Wow, he got here fast. He immediately tells Lalo to get his working-class hands off of Feli, and Lalo is about to fight him when Pablo comes up and holds him back. Pablo tells Maxi that he called Lalo to bring him the newspaper, and Maxi’s like, “Oh. I guess I overreacted.” Then everyone leaves. So…that happened.
Javier tries to insult Marcos and Marizza again, some more, and Lujan’s like, “I hate them both!” again, some more. Javier’s like, “Do you, though? Do you really? Especially Marizza? Do you swear on both of your dead parents?” Even Lujan finds this a bit weird, so Javier distracts her by making up a story about how Marizza once told him that she only made friends with poor orphaned Lujan in order to assuage her guilt over privileged upbringing. Lujan immediately believes this.
Vico comes in and tries to tell Mia about what she saw in Miranda’s office, but then Carmen starts class. Pablo and Tomás start to flip through Lalo’s periodicals for jobs, but naturally there’s a porn magazine in there, and naturally that’s just when Carmen’s like, “What are you guys doing back there?” They manage to cover it up, but then the magazines spill out on the floor later in the class. I guess it’s funny. They manage to pin the blame on Javier and Javier seethes.
Meanwhile, after hearing about how much Marizza pities her for the millionth time, Lujan has gone off to skip class. Marizza finds her in the lounge and starts gushing that skipping class was such a good idea, and they can totally skip together! Lujan snaps at her that she meant it when she said she doesn’t want to be friends anymore. Marizza asks why, and for some reason it took me until this scene to realize that she still has one ratty fake-dread hanging off the back of her head. Jesus, maybe that’s why Lujan doesn’t want to be seen in public with you, Marizza. I’d say I can’t believe their manager or promoters let her go on stage like that, but I know that’s asking for too much realism. Anyway, Marizza asks Lujan what happened to make her turn fake on her. She’s all like, “I don’t understand!“, and then she doesn’t do a dance, but she should have, just to make this less repetitive for me.
Back at Casa Colucci, Papa C brings out a box of Mama Colucci’s things, and looks through them while crying and listening to Coldplay. Hee. He flashbacks to when they had Mia, and how Mama Colucci didn’t want to hold her after she was born. As with Martavio, they’ve decided to indicate Flashback Franco’s youth by giving him a semi-mullet.
Marizza tells Pablo about her talk with Lujan and wonders what could have turned Lujan against her. Pablo’s like, “Are you new? This is Javier’s MO and the only reason he keeps getting away with it is because everyone in this school is a dumbass.” Not in those words. He suggests talking it out with Lujan, but Marizza’s like, “No, Lujan never listens to logic.” Heh. She says Lujan only pays attention to actions — which is funny because Lujan is out here believing everything Javier says about Marizza with no proof — and has an idea. Not that we get to hear it, of course.
After class, Vico tells Mia that Miranda was looking up what to do with pregnant students. They both fret that Miranda is trying to expel Feli, and decide that the only reasonable course of action is to get rid of them. Then Michi rocks up and Vico also tells her what she found. Michi’s like, “Oh no, he knows about Feli!” and Mia and Vico are like, “Wait, YOU know about Feli?” and Michi’s like, “Omg, you two also know about Feli?!” Like half this school knows about Feli! You guys aren’t subtle! Anyway, then Feli herself shows up and says Miranda wants to see her in his office. Michi blusters that Miranda is interrupting Feli’s school time and she’s going to go give him a piece of her mind. Mia and Vico loudly and enthusiastically agree with her, and Feli’s like, “Oookay.”
Marizza comes across Laura being emo in the lounge. Laura tells Marizza about how her family just kind of unadopted Lola — because you can totally do that — and Lola’s been written off the show moved back to Jujuy. Marizza’s like, “Well, that subplot’s over, so let’s put a smile on and move on!” Laura says that Marizza also seems sad, and Marizza tells her about Lujan. Laura offers to help, but Marizza shoots her down. Then she’s like, “Anyway, Laura, I heard something about a pregnancy, what’s up with that?” Laura whispers that she’ll tell Marizza what’s going on, because she trusts her. Jesus, poor Feli. Nobody is taking this “secrecy” thing seriously at all.
Speaking of Feli’s problems, Michi confronts Miranda and he admits that he plans to expel Feli. “Them’s the rules!” he says. Oh, Miranda, I usually like you, but now is not the time to be a stickler for policy. This school barely has any rules anyway. I’m also not sure what the point of the whole “two rulesets” drama was, since Miranda doesn’t seem at all conflicted about which rule to follow? Whatever. Michi tells him that he’ll ruin Feli’s life if he expels her.
Tomás tells Pilar not to continue down this path of debauchery and nude photography, yet again. She blows him off, yet again. Tomás then runs into Pablo, and Pablo’s like, “You’re acting weird. Is it because you know who’s pregnant and you won’t tell me?” Tomás protests that he’s upset that Pilar is starting an OnlyFans going to become a Page 3 girl because it’s 2003. Pablo’s like, “You’re lying,” and Tomás immediately cracks and is like, “You’re right, I am, and I know Feli is pregnant!” Poor dumb Tomás.
Marizza runs up and Pablo’s like, “OMG, did you know that Feli’s pregnant?” and Marizza’s like, “Yes, yes, we all just found out in the last five minutes.” She says that they need to gather everyone who knows about the pregnancy so that they can hatch a plan to help Feli.
Cut to: the entire damn class gathered in the art room. Hee! Marizza gets up and makes an announcement all like, “Okay, so I think we all know at this point, but just in case anyone doesn’t, Feli is pregnant.” Aaand Feli is here in the room to listen to everyone debate her pregnancy. I genuinely feel really bad for her; the last thing I’d ever want if I were pregnant is to hear Guido’s commentary. (He’s all like, “Haha, how did that happen?” Man, fuck you, Guido. At least Feli didn’t have to pay Lalo to sleep with her.) Marizza says that they all have to work together to help Feli hide her pregnancy until the end of the school year (even though it surely must be close to the end already, and she’ll end up giving birth next school year?). Mia and Vico mention that Miranda already knows, and Marizza says that they’re just going to have to deny everything. The Bill Clinton method!
Despite the dramatic montage set to Coldplay, Papa C decides that he doesn’t want to advance the plot and tell Mia about her mother. Sonia’s like, “I just really think continuing to lie to Mia is going to blow up in your face, you know?” and Papa C’s like, “Stop saying words.” Then Mia calls and tells him that she needs him to come to the school right away.
Back at school, Miranda quickly ruins the kids’ wacky plan by walking into the art room and dragging Feli out. Marizza says that they have to think of a way to get rid of Miranda quick. She’s like, “I can lie and say he assaulted me!” Because that worked so well in the Sweet Valley High books. I mean, thoughtful(?) as Marizza’s being, I don’t see how they can do anything if Miranda decides to expel Feli right now? Like, I don’t think even Marizza could get Miranda kicked out of the school in the next five minutes.
Miranda sits Feli down and says that he knows she’s pregnant. “Are you going to expel me?” Feli asks. Dun dun dun!
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