Hello, I’m alive! Let’s celebrate Christmas (and also my country not throwing itself off of a political cliff) with some more teen telenovela drama! Previously on Rebelde Way: Francisco, Tomás, and Guido crossed the line into actual sex offenses (again, some more). Erreway finally came back from tour in the last five minutes of the episode.
Also, I’ve been watching The Crown recently, and honestly, every time the British pronounce “Argentines” as “ArgenTYNES”, I understand Argentina’s desire to take over the Falklands.
We have yet another new credits sequence, which is basically just the adults interspersed between shots of Erreway singing “Vas a salvarte.” I don’t understand the point of these continually changing credits sequences when they are all increasingly worse than the original “Tiempo” opening. I miss “Tiempo.”
Anyway, when all that’s over, we cut back to Marizza walking on Lujan and Javier making out. I don’t blame her for being horrified, because I am too. Dammit, Lujan! I was rooting for you! We were all rooting for you! Also, I am still trash for Marcos and Lujan, despite my better judgment.
Marizza decides to interrupt their lil makeout session by jumping on Lujan and squealing about how much she missed her. Hee. Lujan doesn’t yell at her or anything — she even asks how the tour was, which doesn’t seem like a very effective way of communicating that she doesn’t care about Marizza’s life anymore — but when Marizza tries to talk to her more, Lujan blows her off and runs away. Pablo comes up and Marizza tells him about Lujan and Javier’s tonsil hockey session.
Back in the girls’ room, the Rio Negro girls are packing their bags, ready to storm off after being perved on by the boys. I mean, I don’t blame them. Pilar is trying to convince them to stay so that they can have their soccer tournament, while Laura and Feli tepidly back her up — Feli’s argument is that boys are just an “inferior race of humanity”, so they can’t really be blamed for their actions. Part of me is infuriated that this is basically just “boys mature more slowly than girls” rehashed, another part of me just finds the wording funny. One of the girls starts going off again about how a boy snuck into her bed, and Pilar, Feli, and Laura are like, “Oh, that had to be Guido.” Hee. But no, the girl adds, the boy’s name started with a T. Pilar realizes that she means Tomás, and storms off to kick his ass.
Mia goes rushing to greet Francisco, not knowing that he started creeping on other girls before Erreway’s tour bus was even out of the driveway. She shows him all the gifts she bought him while she was on tour, and he’s just like, “THANKS, WHATEVER” and storms away from her. How dare she come back from tour, buy him gifts, and be affectionate with him after he confessed his love for her! Doesn’t she know that he’s moved on in the two weeks that she’s been away?! God, I hate Francisco. Mia tries to chase after him, but Vico flags her down and says that Feli’s having a crisis, so they have to go help her.
Pablo hangs out with Guido and Tomás in the cafeteria. Tomás is upset over getting busted by Miranda. Pablo rightly is like, “You guys were cross-dressing just to perv on some random girls?” Guido’s like, “You don’t understand! These girls were the hottest girls we’ve ever met! Even though they look like every other girl that has ever appeared on this show!” Anyway, he asks how much money Pablo made off the tour, and Pablo says none, because Erreway had to pay a fine for breaking their contract. Guido is weirdly offended by this for some reason. He doesn’t owe anyone any money at this point, right? I totally don’t remember. Unless Guido just feels entitled to Pablo’s money, as he does all things. Then Michi rocks up and cheerfully tells the boys that Miranda wants to see Guido and Tomás in Dunoff’s office, where he’s going to punish them for being creepy little pervs. God bless.
Marizza traps Lujan in the bathroom and tries to get her to talk, but Lujan just passive-aggressives that she and Javier are both single, and they can be together if they want to, and everything is TOTALLY FINE.
In the girls’ room, Mia and Vico are like, “Okay, so Pilar and Fernanda are models now, Sol hates them…is there anything else we missed?” Feli’s like, “Yes, there’s one more subplot you still don’t know about!”She tells them about her pregnancy and assures them she’s happy, although she’s sobbing all the while, so it doesn’t look that convincing. Mia starts gushing about how wonderful it all is, while Vico snipes that having a baby when you’re married and financially secure is wonderful; getting pregnant at 16 by your 20-year-old boyfriend is not. She tries to go on about how difficult this will be, and Mia tells her to stop killing their vibe. I mean…yeah, Vico’s being way harsh, but she’s also not wrong. For what it’s worth, I think the show is being pretty balanced here — Vico isn’t being shown as the villain — but nevertheless, the fact that Vico is ultimately proven wrong, because Lalo is all responsible and loyal, is kind of a naive fantasy to sell to the audience.
Miranda sits Guido, Tomás, and Francisco down and tells them that they clearly have no idea how to treat women. He tasks them with apologizing to the girls, and then doing some kind of project to make them better, less sexist men. We don’t see what’s on the worksheet that he gives them, but Francisco’s all, “What bullshit is this?” In fairness, that’s his reaction to the very concept of treating girls like human beings.
In class, Marizza and Pablo muse over where Manuel could be, since he didn’t arrive back at school with them. Carmen busts them talking and calls on Marizza to read “her story” out loud to the class. I don’t recall them receiving this assignment, but whatever. Anyway, Marizza starts to read aloud about a man who was a dick because he had a hard life, but the real tragedy wasn’t all the people he abused, it was that it was too late for him to understand love when it was shown to him! Really? She heard about Blas’s death and is making this all about how hard things were for him? Whatever. Anyway, dramatic music plays while Lujan and Marizza stare at each other. (Upon seeing the next episode, I think the implication is actually that Lujan wrote this story? I don’t know how she wrote it while Marizza was gone, then, and then gave it to her even though she was mad at Marizza upon her return.)
Meanwhile, over in Jujuy, Lola’s bio mom is dramatically speechifying about how sorry she is for making Mrs. Arregui adopt Lola. The whole thing is phrased like she’s dying or something, but then she asks if she can come and visit Lola sometimes, so I guess she’s planning on sticking around? Whatever (x3). Mrs. Arregui says no, Lola’s mom can’t visit, and she clearly has only said this because she’s planning to let Lola’s mom adopt her or something, but had to make it sound more dramatic. Aaand that’s exactly what happens: Lola’s all, “How very dare!”, but then Mrs. Arregui hands over the adoption papers and says that she’s giving Lola’s mom custody of her. Nobody saw that coming!
I mean, despite my bullshitting in the previous paragraphs — I actually didn’t really see that coming, mostly just because this whole “Lola finds her bio mom” plot made very little sense to begin with. I mean, I don’t think you can just give kids back after you adopt them. BUT WHATEVER (x4).
Manuel finally comes back to school once class is over. He tells the rest of Erreway that he needs a break, and Mia’s like, “We get it, you’re going solo.” Manuel assures them that he only meant a little vacation — he told Sabrina that the band is never ever breaking up, and so she’s quit as their manager. Erreway is thrilled and group hugs it out. Javier walks past them and seethes at the idea of Pablo and Marizza being happy, so he immediately calls Papa B to tattle on them.
Rocco broaches the topic of what they’re going to do after graduation with Vico. I mean, don’t they have another year left of school? The show’s not going to cover it, of course, because at this point the TV show was literally just in the way of IRL Erreway’s burgeoning careers, but — this school does have a fifth year, even if we don’t see it! Anyway, Rocco wants to travel, but Vico balks at the idea of being so far away from Buenos Aires — and her father. She insists that her dad might have changed while she was gone — you know, in the span of a week and a half — and she ought to be there for him. Rocco’s like, “Don’t tell me you’re going to visit him today.” Vico assures him that she won’t. And yet, I bet she will.
Marizza leaves to go to Casa Colucci with her mom, and gives Pablo a letter for Lujan. Pablo immediately turns around to find Javier breathing down his neck (hee). He asks where Lujan is, and Javier’s like, “What do you want with Lujan?” and Pablo’s like, “Nothing? What do you want with Lujan?” Javier says that they’re dating, and Pablo tells him that he should treat Lujan well, since Pablo considers her a friend and he (and Marizza) are willing to fuck Javier up if necessary. Not in so many words, of course. Then Lujan rocks up, and Javier immediately starts wibbling that he was just minding his own business, and then Pablo started threatening him and telling him to stay away from Lujan. Why Lujan finds this kind of fretting whininess attractive is a mystery to me — like, dudes don’t have to be all toxic masculinity 24/7, but this 6-foot clearly 30-year-old boy constantly wringing his hands and trying to hide behind her is in no way cute.
Anyway, as ever, Lujan chooses to believe a guy she’s known for a few months over friends she’s had for years, and tells Pablo to back off. Pablo slaps Marizza’s note into her hand and storms off. Javier hugs her and snaps that Pablo and Marizza are so annoying together, and the way they pity Lujan drives him up the wall. Lujan seems to find this comment odd but doesn’t say anything.
Feli goes to see Lalo at his little kiosk. Remember when she had to sneak out because her mom had hired bodyguards to follow her everywhere? Whatever happened to that? Anyway, Lalo tells her about Feli’s mom offering him money to stay away from Feli; he assures her that nothing could keep them apart and he’s even found a house for them and the baby. Everything’s coming up Feli! Being a pregnant teenager is so easy!
Francisco, Tomás, and Guido beg Pilar for Dunoff’s number so that they can protest their cruel and unusual punishment (whatever it is). Pilar gives them the number for a “spiritual help” service instead, which infuriates them even more. I’m confused as to why they think Dunoff would give a shit about helping them to begin with, honestly. Tomás asks Pilar why she’s dicking him around, and Pilar’s like, “YOU were cheating on me with one of the Rio Negro girls!” and Tomás is like, “Well, YOU didn’t tell me about being a secret model!” I mean, what is Tomás’s point? What he did was way worse than what Pilar did! Just to make him mad, Pilar tells him that she’s actually done another shoot with the photographer, of “artistic nudes.” Hee! Tomás does not like that at all.
Anyway, the boys’ assignment is to spend the day helping out at a Catholic all-girls’ preschool. I guess Miranda is trying to activate their paternal instincts, in the “men only learn to respect women once they have daughters” school of feminism. Guido and Francisco have a ball playing Legos and letting the girls ride around on their backs. Tomás, though, is still hung up on Pilar potentially showing her tits to God and everybody. He calls Mama D and is like, “I need you to confirm something for me!” “Is it about homework for my class?” Mama D asks with a sigh. Hee. Tomás asks if it’s true about, you know, “the photos” — not mentioning that they’re nude — and Mama D thinks that he’s just talking about Pilar’s regular modeling gig. She tells him that she already knows Pilar is a model and hangs up on him. Then a little girl comes up and throws Tomás’s cell phone in a bucket of water. Ha! It’s what he deserves.
Marizza and Mia go back to Casa Colucci to see their parents. Papa C fusses over Mia, and she asks why he isn’t at work. Papa C sweatdrops and changes the subject by berating Marizza for flopping onto the couch, and Marizza snaps that he’s not her real dad and he can’t tell her what to do! She storms off and Mia chases after her. Sonia sighs that their children are just so rebelde. Drink! Anyway, Sonia asks why he lied to Mia about Papa B shutting his factory down, and Papa C’s like, “Well, I’m already lying to her about her mom being alive, so what’s one more?” Ah, yes, remember that plot? Wow, are they just going to cram that into the last 20 episodes?
Manuel goes to see his doctor and tells him that his new medication is working out swimmingly. He hasn’t had a single headache, he feels awesome, and everything is fine! The doctor suggests that they can start lowering his dosage, then, and Manuel’s like, “Oh, no, I meant that you should totally give me more drugs, not less.” Oh my God, does Manuel have an opioid addiction? Is that where this is going?
Pablo goes back to Casa Bustamante to get his things, and Ines asks him where he thinks he’s going. Pablo’s like, “To…my room? Because I live here?” He starts snapping at Ines that this is his house, not hers, and Papa B pops out of the shadows and tells Pablo that this isn’t his house anymore. He drags him out onto the street shouting about how he’s disowning him and that Pablo must never darken their doorway again, which I guess would be more dramatic if Papa B hadn’t already disowned Pablo like three times by now. He, Vico, and Rocco should just go start a commune together.
Back at Casa Colucci, Mia sighs to Marizza that she’s shook over Blas dying while they were gone. Marizza’s like, “Who cares? It happened like two episodes ago, we were on tour, let’s move on.” Hee. She tells Mia that Lujan is coming over, so Mia needs to clear out of their room so that Marizza and Lujan can hang. Mia snipes that her friends are coming over, and this is her room, so maybe Marizza should be the one to clear out. Are you telling me that, between their two vast fortunes, Papa C and Sonia couldn’t have built a third bedroom? Anyway, the two girls start fighting, and Papa C and Sonia come in to break it up. They say they have news for them, and Marizza’s like, “We know, you’re in love and you’re not breaking up, we get it.” Okay, but did they ever tell them that they were engaged? Am I missing something?
Lola and Mama Arregui come back to Elite Way and tell Laura that Lola is leaving the show Elite Way, because she’s going to live with her bio mom in Jujuy. Laura’s like, “So…you’re just giving up Lola, who has lived with us since birth, and uprooting her from her entire life to go live with someone she’s known for a few months?” Not in so many words. All the Arreguis start crying, and Mama Arregui says that they’ll visit Lola every summer and holiday break. Okay, there is no way that this would ever pass muster in an actual family court. Like, if Lola really hit it off with her bio mom, then Mari can be the one to visit Lola on the weekends and holidays: there is no reason to break the arrangement and stable home that Lola has had for fifteen years. I mean, I know at the beginning of the season it was implied that the Arreguis were emotionally abusing Lola, but they dropped that plotline pretty quickly and now it seems like they all genuinely get along? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE. Just kidding, this is a telenovela, it will never make sense. Anyway, RIP Lola. I guess she can join her other sophomore friends, Bianca and Dante, in the forgotten-character limbo they now live in.
Papa C tells the girls about his factory getting shut down. Mia’s like, “Does this mean that I won’t be able to have new clothes for the spring?” Papa C tells her that she’s going to have to downsize, and Mia shrieks that this is a fate worse than DEATH. Sonia tries to tell her that some people have war in their country and reassures that they’ll still have money, since Sonia is working. Marizza starts snarking that Papa C is basically Sonia’s kept man now, and Papa C and Sonia say that they’ll talk later once the girls have calmed down and can be respectful. “HOW CAN I LIVE WITHOUT DIFFERENT SHOES?” Mia shrieks at their backs.
Lalo takes Feli to the apartment he’s found, and she’s horrified to realize that it’s a studio. What if dating someone from a different socioeconomic background means that she might actually have to adjust to a different standard of living? The horror of it all! She sniffles that she feels like God is punishing them. Lalo says that if God didn’t approve of what they were doing, they would be homeless, so actually, this tiny apartment is proof that they should keep barreling on with their plan to get married. God gave them this apartment! Is God also charging you rent, Lalo? Anyway, Feli forces a smile and nods along. I mean, I’m glad Feli’s finally realizing that being a teen mom is going to be kind of difficult, but I could’ve done without her like, palpable disgust at the idea of not living in a mansion.
Pablo goes over to Casa Colucci and is baffled by Mia and Marizza’s fighting. He’s like, “How did you two get along for like two weeks straight on the tour, and now you’re fighting again?” It is pretty contrived, isn’t it, Pablo? Marizza says that she put up with Mia’s shit for the sake of the band, but now that they’re home, she’s had it. I don’t know why Erreway is even together, honestly. Like, 3/4ths of them all hate each other at any given moment. Anyway, Marizza threatens to throw Mia’s clothes out of the window, and Mia caves and leaves Marizza and Pablo to talk. They’ve just settled down to cuddle when Sonia storms in and tells Pablo to leave. She snaps that she’s learned from Marizza’s teachers that Marizza is rude at school, so Sonia is going to show her what it’s like to be disrespected. Ha! Suffer, Marizza.
(But also…Sonia’s just learning that Marizza’s a dick now? She was like eighty times worse last season!)
Over at Lalo’s sad apartment, Feli says she feels faint. Lalo goes to open a window, but it’s stuck and won’t open. Haha, because their apartment is so shit, get it? Anyway, Feli faints dead away. Lalo calls Elite Way looking for Michi, but naturally she’s not there. Where could Michi possibly be? I mean, it’s completely in-character for her to abandon her job for no reason, but it’s not like she has any friends or hobbies to attend to. She doesn’t even talk to Sonia anymore!
Anyway, Miranda picks up the phone and says he’ll help with Feli’s situation. He makes a phone call, and then we cut away to…Lalo’s ex-girlfriend, Chela, watching Feli sleep. Uh, I hope that’s not who Miranda called. Once Feli wakes up, Chela starts berating her for “trapping” Lalo, because she knows Feli won’t stick around once she has to settle into the harsh life of changing diapers and living paycheck to paycheck. I mean, she’s not wrong, but who even let her in here? Lalo comes in and drags her out, telling Feli that Miranda’s sending a doctor. Feli is upset that Miranda might find out about her pregnancy.
Casa Colucci. Papa C tells Sonia that he’s disappointed that Mia threw a tantrum over losing her clothes like a total child, and Sonia muses that it’s because Papa C has been keeping secrets from Mia for her entire life — she’s immature because she can sense that there are things she’s not allowed to know. Or maybe it’s because Papa C indulges her every whim, much the way Sonia does with Marizza? Self-awareness, anyone? Speaking of, Marizza comes storming in and snaps that Papa C and Sonia can’t make her stay in the house, separated from Pablo. Papa C and Sonia snipe that they totally can and swan out. I mean…sure, I guess that’s within their parental rights, but they know Marizza goes to boarding school and literally lives with Pablo nine months of the year, right?
Mia advises Marizza to just suck it up and play along with their parents, because you catch more flies with honey and all that. Marizza’s like, “Compromise and try to make another person’s life easier at the expense of my own whims? Surely you jest.”
Their argument is interrupted by a phone call from Lalo, who wants Mia to come to the bad side of town to see Feli. There’s some wacky back and forth because Mia doesn’t know the neighborhood Lalo lives in, and so Marizza has to grab the phone from her and tell Lalo that they’ll be there. Because Marizza is familiar with the bad side of town despite being just as rich as Mia? I swear, these writers think that Marizza’s love of Guns n’ Roses somehow cancels out the fact that she was raised in a bubble of privilege and wealth just like the rest of her classmates.
Anyway, after getting the address, Mia calls Francisco to ask him to come with her. He grumbles about it but agrees to meet her there, even though he’s not from Buenos Aires and surely can’t be that familiar with the area. Whatever. Tomás is like, “Well, if Francisco’s bailing to be with his girlfriend, I’m going to go find Pilar.” Sucks to be Guido, as ever.
Back at school, Javier and Lujan cuddle in the hallway. Gross. He continues to needle her about whether or not Marizza genuinely likes her or only pities her, until Lujan snaps and decides to confront Marizza. She asks why Marizza even befriended her to begin with, and Marizza’s like, “Because despite our different upbringings, we’re actually incredibly similar, in that we’re extremely angry young women with superiority complexes who enjoy enacting violence on others?” Lujan’s like, “Impossible, you could have only befriended me because you feel bad that I’m an orphan!” I don’t know why Lujan bothered asking Marizza if her mind was already made up, but whatever.
While riding in the car with Mia, Francisco finally stops being a whiny punk and tells her that he’s mad because she barely wrote to him while she was on tour. Mia’s like, “I’m sorry I was busy being a nationally famous pop star despite my band not having so much as an officially-released single.” She strokes his ego about how much she missed him and needs him now, and he lets her hug him while “A Sorta Fairytale” plays in the background. If we’re going to play Tori Amos, Mia needs to listen to Boys for Pele instead and learn to love herself.
Miranda shows up at Lalo’s apartment with a nurse for Feli. The nurse reports back to Miranda that Feli is pregnant, and Miranda’s like, “I don’t know what’s more shocking to me, her pregnancy or your flagrant disregard of patient confidentiality.”
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