Previously on Rebelde Way: Lujan was perfectly happy just chilling and having dinner with Blas, until she randomly finds a folder with his medical history and is reminded that he is a violent stalker predator. Because she forgot in the past ten minutes?
Anyway, Blas finds Lujan reading the file and starts choking her out. Lujan bleats that she only wants to help him. What? This is not the violent character that I know and love. Punch him, Lujan! Blas starts yelling at her to get out, but then he breaks down and starts crying, and Lujan’s like, “Omg, you’re crying because you’re suffering on the inside!” OH MY GOD LUJAN, GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE. Instead, she listens to Blas as he wibbles on about how “they” (his doctors?) used to starve him and beat him and lock him in a cupboard under the stairs. I mean, is that not also what happened to Lujan at the orphanage (upon which she learned to grab flies out of midair to assert her dominance)?
But then, in the midst of his sniffling, Blas mentions that, while he was in the cupboard under the stairs, the mysterious “they” would visit him and take advantage of him.* Lujan cringes. I initially missed this line — which was helpfully pointed out by this comment — which I assume is what Lujan read in Blas’s file, and why she suddenly wants to help him. It is extremely dark and a horrible thing to have happened to Blas — but much like Severus Snape, I think I’m supposed to be like, “His life is so sad! I’ve totally forgotten all about his bullying and abuse of children now!” Anyway, eventually, all this emotion is too much for Lujan, and she bails instead of watching Blas cry more.
* He never quite names anyone and I can’t tell if he’s exclusively using the singular or the plural due to his mumbling, so idk if his parents did this to him (with one parent, maybe his dad, doing the sexual abuse specifically) and he was sent to the hospital as a result of his issues, or if he was already in a facility and the doctors were abusive, etc.
Back at school, Manuel is ranting about how their sponsors just don’t respect their artistry, man. This is super rich coming from one of the band members who doesn’t contribute to any of the writing or composition at all. Luckily, though, the sponsor from Bubbaloo comes in and tells them that Bubbaloo still wants to work with them. Good old Bubbaloo! I hope their sales went up from this show and all this relentless product placement wasn’t for nothing.
Guido rants to Tomás that Augustina isn’t picking up, and Tomás tells him to shut up because he’s looking over the English papers that Mama D gave him. I only mention this because Guido then needles Tomás about dating Pilar so that her parents will help him pass his classes, and Tomás snaps back that he’s dating Pilar because he loves her. Aw! Tomás/Pilar forever! Anyway, Guido realizes that Augustina can see him calling via Caller ID, so he decides to call her from a pay phone(!) to hide his number. He runs off and Tomás takes a closer look at his English assignment. He realizes he has to write a whole essay about the importance of being faithful in love, in English. He’s like, “I don’t even know how to write essays in Spanish!” Poor dumb Tomás.
Feli looks at herself in the mirror while “Beautiful” by Christina Aguilera plays in the background. HA! Lalo comes in and Feli speechifies to him that she feels like a new person because they’ve had sex. Lalo apologizes to her that he wasn’t more careful, because he has more experience (because he’s like twenty!!!) and “they” should’ve paid more attention. Uh, being that this was Feli’s first time, I feel like maybe Lalo should be taking more responsibility here. He makes her promise not to let him lose his head next time (because, you know, it’s Feli’s fault). They’re both really vague in this conversation, I guess because this show isn’t quite ~rebelde~ enough to let them explicitly say that they forgot to use a condom, but I think that’s the implication. Should’ve listened to the Spice Girls, Lalo!
For the millionth time, Vico thought she’d gotten rid of her dad, but he shows up at Elite Way. Again. Obviously he is evil and here for revenge and Jesus Christ it’s been so long that I don’t even remember what happened to him last. Didn’t he already come back from fucking off to Bariloche? And then Rocco just paid him more money? I swear, they should just kill him, this is like the third time he’s come back after they thought they’d gotten rid of him for good. Anyway, Vico’s dad starts manhandling her and dragging her out of school because I guess all the security has suddenly disappeared. It’s crazy how these kids can’t come within five feet of the door without a teacher popping up, but adults can just waltz in and out with zero detection. Vico BSes that she needs at least pack her things before her dad kidnaps her, and he gives her five minutes to get her stuff.
Augustina’s dad, who you’ll recall looks freakishly like Nicolas Cage, shows up to kick Guido’s ass. Hee! He’s like, “How dare you take money from my daughter and then cheat on her!” Guido tries to spin it like he wasn’t on a date, he was just using the money to pay that girl back, and he only didn’t explain it to Augustina because he didn’t want to mix her up in his debt to the local prostitution ring. Nicolas Cage believes this. I honestly do not know if it’s true or not because I’m still having a hard time wrapping my head around GUIDO LEAVING HIMSELF IN DEBT TO A PROSTITUTION RING JUST SO HE CAN DATE ANOTHER GIRL ON THE SIDE. God, he’s so dumb and his stupidity doesn’t even have a point to it. I hate Guido.
On the other hand, nothing on this show makes sense, so if it turns out that that girl was a high school soccer player by day and a mob enforcer by night, I would believe it without question.
Rocco busts into Mia’s room and asks where Vico is. Mia’s like, “How could you walk in on me! I could’ve been changing!” And yet, that hasn’t stopped any of the teachers — especially Blas — from barging in whenever they wanted, so whatever. Rocco says that he saw Vico’s dad downstairs and something bad must be happening. Mia’s like, “Maybe they’re just going to have a day out together! You know how fathers and daughters gotta bond sometimes!” Rocco’s like, “Were you asleep for every past subplot involving Vico and her dad?” He and Mia look for Vico, and eventually come across her in the school basement. Vico wails that there’s no way she can escape her dad this time, and Mia says that Erreway will just take Vico on tour with them. They’ll make her part of the show! Vico’s dad can’t find her at school if she’s not at school! I mean, if she suddenly becomes part of the most inexplicably famous pop band in Argentina, I feel like he’s going to notice that pretty quick.
Anyway, Rocco thinks that this is a great idea, and Mia invites him along, too. So I guess everyone is just going on this tour? I hope the label is cool with paying for 2 extra plane tickets and hotel rooms.
In Manuel’s room, Francisco emos to Marcos about Mia. Marcos just shrugs that Francisco’s gotta get over it — like Marcos is still in love with Lujan, but he’s accepted that she’s never going to take him back, so now he’s just going to live with his unrequited feelings forever. Heh. Marcos keeps on whining that Francisco should be grateful, because at least Mia likes Francisco as a friend, while Lujan hates Marcos with every fiber of her being. Also heh. A lightbulb goes off for Francisco, and he’s like, “I gotta apologize to Mia before she too hates me with her entire being!” Before he can do so, however, Manuel comes in and announces the Erreway tour. Francisco pouts because this means that Mia’s leaving.
Lujan calls Blas because she’s worried about him. He’s not there, so she leaves a message.
Maxi shows up at school, looking for Feli. Sol intercepts him and tells him that Feli’s not at school, and Maxi sighs that she’s not at home, either. He emos that she must still be mad at him over the stunt with the helicopter. Sol gets all impatient and is just like, “Why can’t you just forget Feli when I’m here?” Hee. I love that Sol aspires to be a criminal mastermind, but her deep-seated anger makes her incapable of patiently carrying out a long-term con. Maxi says that he was going to take Feli jet-skiing today to earn her forgiveness, and Sol’s like, “Well, let’s not let a perfectly good jetski go to waste!” She suggests that they take it out together just to, you know, make sure it’s working before he takes Feli out on it.
Fernanda and Belen come across them and invite Sol out with them. Sol lies and says that she has to study, which is pretty suspicious given that Maxi is standing right next to her. Even Fernanda and Belen don’t really believe it, but they agreeably leave them alone. Maxi asks why Sol lied to them, and Sol’s like, “They’re just always so jealous of me and I don’t really know why. I guess it’s because I’m so pretty and popular! Anyway, how about that jetski?” Maxi hedges that Feli might not like him taking other girls out, and Sol hulks out and shrieks at him to STOP TALKING ABOUT FELI!!! Then she calms down and tells Maxi that he won’t get Feli by acting so obsessed and desperate (take…your own advice, Sol?), so Maxi agrees to take Sol out instead.
Mia and Vico walk through the courtyard and talk about their plan to take Vico on tour. So…Vico’s dad just gave up and left after five minutes? He was like, “I guess I can’t find my daughter whom I explicitly came here to kidnap, that’s cool”? Ah, but then Rocco comes up and says that he paid Vico’s dad to make him go away and let Vico go on tour. FINALLY someone — aka Mia, aka the only person with any sense half the time — points out that giving Vico’s dad more money is not the solution. Vico and Rocco are like, “Stop saying words.” Mia says she’ll still let them go on the tour, but they should use the time to think about a more permanent solution for Vico’s dad. Is…is Mia advocating killing him?
The rest of Erreway comes running into the courtyard and they gush over the six of them going on tour together. I wonder if this is where Rebelde Mexico got the idea to put six people in the band instead of four — although they included their versions of Luna and Guido (why?) instead of Vico and Rocco. Anyway, Sabrina shows up and tells them that the rooms have been arranged: Mia, Vico, and Marizza are in one room, and Pablo and Rocco will be in another. Mia points out that she forgot Manuel, and it comes out that Sabrina and Manuel are rooming together. Mia runs off all upset.
Papa B comes back from his vacation and calls Javier to see what’s the haps. Javier tells him that Pablo is at school and has been making out with Marizza all day. Papa B is disturbed to hear that they’re back together and vows to destroy their happiness. He bids Javier farewell and we only hear Papa B’s end of the conversation, which is: “Yes, yes, you’ve already told me that you love me.” HA!
Luckily for Francisco, finding out that Manuel and Sabrina are rooming together has caused Mia to have a breakdown right in the middle of the hallway, so he can swoop in and be sympathetic. Francisco tells her that he bought her a going-away present, which is a little bracelet in a box shaped like a teddy bear. I paused the episode and shrieked internally at this point, because I had a box shaped exactly like that as a kid. It was part of a line of bear boxes with birthstone earrings inside that you could buy at one of those preteen girl jewelry stores (like Claire’s), and the bear matched the color of the gemstones. Like if you were born in August, the bear was green to match the peridot birthstone. I don’t know why that memory came back to me so strongly, but whatever.
ANYWAY. Francisco apologizes and says he wants to be her friend, and Mia gets all wibbly and says that she wants to be more than friends after all. Then she says, “I want to love you,” which does not sound quite so romantic, but Francisco chooses to interpret this as Mia definitely liking him and not at all using him to get over Manuel. He kisses her and she just looks sad. I’m not quite sure how to feel about this? The lesson here seems to be that girls will reward you for respecting them by agreeing to date you after all, which is garbage. On the other hand, if everyone at this school is going to get paired up no matter what, the boys might as well receive positive reinforcement instead of being rewarded for their constant cheating and sexism.
Pilar wants to spend the day with Tomás, but he tells her that he’s busy working on his English assignment. Pilar looks at the assignment and is confused, as it’s way above their grade level. She storms off and asks Mama D what she’s up to, and Mama D admits that she heard — from Augustina — that Tomás is cheating on Pilar.
Laura and Lujan are helping Marizza pack. Lujan finds a hair straightener in the closet and gets all hype about the prospect of looking like Avril Lavigne in the “Complicated” video. She and Laura want it to try it out and Marizza has to remind them that she’s leaving in five minutes, so if they could focus on ruining Lujan’s curl pattern later, that would be great. Dramatic music plays as Marizza promises to write them while she’s gone. How long is this tour supposed to be? Are they dropping out of school? Anyway, Marizza tells Laura to make sure that Lujan stays away from Blas, which is not bad advice.
Mia and Vico call Feli to say goodbye. They say they’re sorry for leaving Feli alone, and Feli tells them that she’ll have plenty to do without them, if they’re picking up what she’s putting down. She assures them that everything is going well with her and Lalo, except then Lalo’s mom comes back and starts yelling that she doesn’t stand for STRANGE GIRLS hanging around the house while she’s not home. Wearing Lalo’s shirt, no less! This is a family home, not a brothel! Lalo has to intervene and introduces Feli to his mom. Feli wanders off somewhere and Lalo’s mom tells Lalo that she gets that he’s young and in love, but but Feli is from another world and Lalo doesn’t have a future with her. Actually, the real reason they don’t have a future together is because she’s a high schooler, but whatever.
Laura straightens Lujan’s hair for her, and Lujan gushes over how she looks like season 4 Buffy now. Laura asks why Lujan went to Blas’s house when they all know he’s a violent predator, and Lujan’s like, “But he’s suffered! He deserves our sympathy!” I mean…yes, he deserves empathy for what he went through as a child — and maaaaybe a bit of empathy for how it shaped him as an adult — but Blas has also perpetuated the cycle of abuse himself, and none of these kids need to offer him emotional support if they don’t want to. It’s especially not the responsibility of Lujan, one of his victims, to put herself in danger in order to help him. Whatever.
Guido and Augustina have made up and it’s disgusting. Augustina whines about how very dare that filthy dirty slutty girl try to steal her boyfriend. Even Guido is like, “Whoa, let’s slow down with the early 2000s misogyny here.” Augustina pouts that she won’t go out with him until Guido gets rid of the girl he was seeing. I think Guido told her some convoluted lie about owing that girl money (instead of admitting it’s for that one escort), but I think I missed too much of this plot and I don’t care enough to understand it. Sorry. Anyway, Guido runs off to fetch the money, presumably to pay back the girl and put her out of their lives forever. And yet, I bet that won’t happen.
Lujan enters and Augustina marvels at her new straight hair. It’s a bit dumb because Lujan had like, light waves at most. (Lujan also keeps stroking her hair. That’s only going to make it frizzy again, my dude!!) Augustina invites Lujan out with her and Guido, which is weird if they were going to make out, but okay. Lujan says that she has abusive teachers to visit, so no can do. Before she can leave, though, Pilar rocks up and demands an explanation re: Tomás.
Outside, Erreway is exchanging tearful goodbyes with Papa C and Sonia, aka the only parents who are present in their children’s lives. Papa C takes Manuel to the side and reminds him to take his meds, which Manuel takes remarkably well, considering he was biting everyone’s heads off about it earlier this season.
Mia still inside the school, saying goodbye to Francisco. “A week will pass by quickly,” she assures him. They’re leaving for a week? And everyone thinks this is the end of the world? Vico and Rocco think that’s long enough to shake her dad off their trail? I swear. Anyway, Francisco is still far more into Mia than she is into him, but she does give him a big dramatic kiss goodbye. Naturally, Manuel has volunteered to look for Mia, so he walks in on them. He’s all crushed and glares at Francisco like Manuel wasn’t rubbing Sabrina in Mia’s face constantly.
Augustina cries to Pilar that she was just so upset about Guido cheating on her (not upset enough to not take him back tho) and she couldn’t stand the thought of it happening to anyone else. Besides, a girl answered Tomás’s phone for him! What other explanation could there be! Pilar is all upset and storms off to Tomás. He chirps at her that he worked really hard and finished his homework early, so now they can go out! Aw, Tomás. Pilar dumps soda on his printed assignment then shuts the computer off before he can save it or print it again. Jesus. I usually secretly love Pilar, but it’s wild that she believes a histrionic sophomore over her own boyfriend.
Erreway’s tour van pulls away. Papa C and Sonia wave them off all teary-eyed, and Papa C immediately starts fretting over the kids’ well-being. I don’t know why he didn’t go with them, since he seems to run his company from Sonia’s house with just his cell phone. Sonia assures Papa C that the kids can take care of themselves. Uh…as we’ve seen many times over, they really can’t. Papa C blusters that he didn’t want Mia going anywhere on her own until she was at least 23, which is weird since he totally let her go to Mexico and Galapagos and Bariloche without him. Oh, and she went off with Vacance Club way back at the beginning of this show, too. Just because the writers have forgotten all of this, doesn’t mean I have! Anyway, Papa C is assuaged by this and he and Sonia make out until Papa B shows up. Heh. Papa B is looking for Pablo, and Sonia BSes that he and Marizza are out on a date, but who knows where! Certainly not her!
Lujan goes to Blas’s apartment, but the janitor tells her that he’s gone and probably won’t be coming back anytime soon. Lujan is crushed. She straightened her hair for him and everything!
Lalo’s mom decides to give Feli a chance, so they have a snack or tea or whatever together. Lalo makes mate for them, and Feli tries to joke about how he’s serving it wrong — he’s pouring it out of a pitcher instead of a gourd or whatever. He tells her that it’s mate cocido (like ready-made mate in a teabag) instead of actual mate and Feli is embarrassed by her faux pas. I think the implication is that Lalo’s like, too poor to offer her real mate. Lalo’s brothers tell Feli to dunk her croissant into the mate, which breaks the tension, and Lalo’s mom asks Feli about her family. Feli is evasive. I guess telling Lalo’s mom that she’s secretly already engaged would really bring the mood down.
Nicolas Cage and Augustina go to the sports club where Guido first met his side piece. Nicolas Cage pays the guy behind the bar to let the Elite Way girls hang out there whenever they want, which feels sketchy. Is this to enable Augustina’s stalking of Guido? I don’t know. Anyway, Augustina sees Guido’s side piece across the room and points her out to her dad. Nicolas Cage storms over to yell at her, but the girl of course has no idea what he’s talking about, and she slaps him. Hee!
Feli’s mom shows up at Elite Way, all aflutter that Feli’s in trouble. Dunoff’s like, “Yeah, I don’t really work on the weekends, so…can this wait?” Heh. Feli’s mom wails that Feli’s disappeared, and Dunoff’s like, “Oh.”
Sol and Maxi come back in, and Sol exposits that they went jetskiing and then Maxi took her shopping and footed the bill. Jesus, Maxi, love yourself. Maxi tells Sol that her shopping spree was no big deal, since his aunt owns the clothing brand. Sol’s like, “Tell me more!” and Maxi sighs that his aunt is super stressed because they have to find a model for their new clothing line — and they start work this weekend! Sol’s like, “Wow, what a convenient confluence of my interests!”
Just then, Feli’s mom and Dunoff come back from his office — wow, shortest meeting ever — and loudly go on about how they don’t know where to find Feli. Sol asks if they checked at her boyfriend’s house and everyone is shook by this information. I thought…they knew about Lalo already?
Papa B goes home and asks Ines and Javier where Pablo is. He’s like, “His phone is off! Something terrible could have happened! He could be killed, or worse, on tour with Erreway!” Heh. Ines and Javier both deny knowing anything, but Javier says that he can call one of Pablo’s friends to ask around. He calls Guido and puts him on speakerphone, and Guido’s like, “Why are you confused about where Pablo is? He’s on tour with the band, duh!” Hee. Fucking Guido.
The call ends there, though, because Nicolas Cage has rolled up at the other end of the line to beat Guido up. Again. HA! (Bookeneds? In my telenovela? I’m shocked.)
The cops pull up to Lalo’s house and usher his brothers into their car. This, uh, feels illegal. Lalo and Feli look out to see why some random cops are trying to kidnap his brothers, and then the cops pull out there guns and tell Lalo to step out of the house. Feli immediately goes into hysterics and begs them not to shoot. It’s supposed to be dramatic, but I’m only sorry that the writers think I care this much about Feli. I bet not even the tweens who saw this when this first aired were that shook by it.
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