Previously on Rebelde Way: Francisco likes Feli! Except maybe he doesn’t! Maybe he does! I don’t know and I don’t care, because I am not interested in a single thing Francisco does, but whatever.
So when we last left off, Feli thought that Francisco bought her a present to indicate his totally genuine romantic interest in her, but then she found out that he gave the present to Mia. Cliffhanger! JK, in the first five minutes of this episode, Mia assures Feli that the presents — an Amarte duele poster and CD — are obviously for Feli and Francisco just left them on the wrong bed. Feli believes her and we are back to square one with these two.
Meanwhile, Marizza thinks Sonia is on her deathbed, but she still won’t talk to her: instead, she’s trying to convince Martavio to call the ER and ask if Sonia’s okay. Martavio’s like, “Okay, if you really think your mother is dying, now is probably the time to extend an olive branch yourself.” Marizza’s like, “Counterpoint: no.” Pablo comes up and excitedly gushes to Martavio that his mom faxed over the documents giving him permission. Marizza’s like, “Quit trying to steal my dad.” Let me point out that like half the kids have adopted Martavio and Sonia as parental figures because their actual parents are so terrible, and Marizza still doesn’t appreciate her parents at all. Anyway, Marizza storms off, and Martavio assures Pablo that his mom is still thinking about him and wants to help him, it’s just that she’s not allowed to contact him. Pablo’s like, “How would you know?” and Martavio’s like, “Uh…I don’t! I’m just guessing! LOL!” Then he changes the subject and says that they should celebrate Pablo’s good news. He invites Pablo and his friends to some place where Martavio’s performing. (Remember how Martavio’s like, a stand-up comedian in his off time? I know, me either.)
Over at Sonia’s house, Hilda and Michi are trying to take care of her — Michi by summoning the healing spirits, until Hilda barks at her to go find some aspirin. Hee. Lujan calls asking after Sonia, and Michi’s like, “Oooh, tell her that Sonia’s dying for maximum drama!” Hilda pretends not to hear Lujan and hangs up on her, and they all decide to play cards together. I…I don’t know what just happened.
Meanwhile, Sol is in bed, wailing that she’s just SO SAD and NOTHING CAN MAKE HER FEEL BETTER. She can’t even eat! Blas is like, “Would you eat better if I took you out to a restaurant?” and Sol’s like, “Sounds good!” and hops out of bed. Why is this happening?
Marizza and Lujan fret together over Sonia potentially dying. Lujan tells Marizza that she wasn’t able to find anything out from Hilda, and Marizza says that she’s going to her house — with Sonia, not Martavio. Lujan says they can’t leave without permission, and Marizza snarls that she’ll find a way, as usual. She asks Blas for permission, saying that her mom is in the hospital. Blas is like, “Well, if she calls and gives you permission, sure.” Marizza’s like, “…she’s IN THE HOSPITAL,” and Blas is like, “Too bad, huh. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an underage girl to take out to lunch.” Marizza threatens to tell Dunoff about Blas’s shady past and Lujan drags her off. Blas is like, “Whatever,” probably knowing, as we all do, that Dunoff does not give a shit about keeping children safe from predators at all.
Rocco gushes to Vico about Amarte duele and what an amazing movie it was because apparently no one in this damn school has ever seen an adaptation of Romeo and Juliet before. They disagree on their interpretations of the movie, though: Rocco thinks it’s a beautiful movie about a world with no differences or prejudices, while Vico thinks it’s about how society doesn’t accept class or racial differences. I mean, neither of them hit the mark, but Vico’s closer than Rocco. Not sure what part of that movie Rocco thought was about a totally equal society. Anyway, this segues into another argument about Dani: Vico argues that, just like in the movie, people don’t accept those who are different, like Dani being gay. That’s why Rocco should stop hanging out with him! Rocco’s like, “EXCUSE?” and Vico bleats that she doesn’t have a problem with gay people, but OTHER people do, and OTHER people are judging Rocco for hanging out with him, and Rocco shouldn’t want to be associated with Dani, blah blah thinly veiled homophobia blah. Rocco snaps that he thought she was different, but she’s just like all the other jerks at this school. He stalks off.
Night falls. Feli is officially back on the “convinced Francisco is in love with her train”, and after Mia leaves to go to dinner with her dad, Feli starts clinging to her Amarte duele poster and kissing a photo of Francisco and it’s real weird.
Cut to: some restaurant where the waitresses walk around in leotards and fishnets. Yes, this is the venue to which Martavio thought it would be appropriate to invite a bunch of students. Even leaving the weirdness of that out, I don’t know why he thought Pablo, Guido, Tomás, and Francisco could go to a place like this without acting like fools. They’re salivating over all the waitresses, and one waitress is salivating over Guido right back. Why? He’s sixteen! And also a terrible person! LOVE YOURSELF, RANDO WAITRESS!
You know, I think what irritates me the most about Guido getting all these girls is that he does NOT know how to act. I can kind of get girls being into Pablo or Tomás, but Guido and Francisco literally can’t look at a human female without like, putting their tongues out and panting and it’s super-weird and off-putting. Who in their right mind would ever go out with either of them? And what is WITH all the grown-ass adults on this show lusting after teenagers?
Mia and Papa C are at dinner, and Papa C says that he wants to finally tell her who his girlfriend is. Mia’s like, “I don’t want to know! I have my life and you have yours, and I don’t really care about who your girlfriend is anymore.” WHAT? What kind of Veronica Mars shenanigans are these? I have been waiting for this drama for like fifty episodes!!! Sadly, I am not heard, and Papa C’s kind of like, “O…kay,” and Mia yet again does not find out that Sonia is Papa C’s girlfriend.
Lujan tells Marizza that she actually doesn’t appreciate Marizza threatening to broadcast Blas’s shady past all over the school, because that would mean everyone also finding out about Lujan’s sad abandoned orphan past. Marizza’s like, “Oh, yeah, I totally didn’t think about your feelings in all of this, because I kind of never think about anyone’s feelings. Whoops.” Then Javier pops up and offers to be Marizza’s savior again — he heard that they can’t leave without permission, but Blas is gone for the night (because he’s out perving on Sol), so if they can jack something with his handwriting on it, Javier can forge a permission note for Marizza. Marizza runs off to find a note, and Lujan sidles up to Javier: “You would do anything for her, wouldn’t you?” she asks. “Yeah, I would,” Javier says. Besides tell her the truth about anything, but whatever.
Prophetic Emo Hair parks her car in the lot where Manuel works as a valet, because I guess it’s the only parking lot in Buenos Aires. Actually, upon further examination, her hair isn’t that emo anymore, she just has some intense side bangs. He tells her that she can’t park here unless she’s going to the restaurant. She’s all bummed, and he says that he’ll let her park here if she invites him out for coffee later. This is not a good deal at all, but Prophetic Side Bangs is all twitterpated. So…I guess Manuel is not only macking it with Sabrina when he’s not interested in her, but he’s going to actively two-time her and Prophetic Side Bangs? What a terrible person. Anyway, after his shift is over, he and Prophetic Side Bangs go off together. And who should then show up at the parking lot but Sabrina! She’s looking for Manuel, but his coworker tells her that he saw Manuel leave with another girl. Sabrina looks all taken aback, like she’s never heard the phrase, “If he’ll do it with you, he’ll do it to you.”
Javier shows Marizza and Lujan how he can trace over Blas’s letters to forge a whole note from him. Marizza’s like, “OMG, Javier, you’re so amazing and not at all creepy.” Lujan pulls Marizza to the side and is like, “Remember how someone once sent a note to Diego from you that you didn’t write?” Wait for it…wait for it…Marizza’s like, “It doesn’t matter, and Javier would never!” “It was Pablo!” Javier pipes up, and Marizza believes him. SIIIIIIIGH.
Over at the inappropriate club, Martavio is in the middle of doing his comedy/song-and-dance performance, which everyone is applauding, even though I bet IRL people would be throwing tomatoes at him. Guido goes off to hook up with the tragic waitress because apparently watching his girlfriend’s dad shoot things for three days didn’t make him at all wary about cheating on her again. After he’s gone, Martavio comes up to gather the boys and wants to know where Guido went. The other guys admit that Guido’s off with one of the waitresses, and Martavio is all surprised at the turn this took. Martavio, have you been paying any attention at all to what these kids do under your watch? After the club closes, he tries to find out who the waitress is from the bar guy. Oh, sure, NOW you care about statutory rape, Martavio. He gets a lists of addresses of all the blonde waitresses from the bartender and goes out to search, dragging the other guys with him.
Back in Mia’s room, Feli is dancing around to the Amarte duele soundtrack while Vico is being emo, quite literally — she’s complaining that the music isn’t angsty and Feli is too upbeat for her tastes. Ugh, prepz. Mia comes back and announces that she has no idea who her dad’s girlfriend is and she doesn’t care, because then she would have to acknowledge that her dad is going out with a real human woman and then she might have to meet her and be polite to her, and all of that is no good. Feli and Vico cackle at her ingeniousness. I can’t believe not one of them would be pissed that she spent all her time melting down about her dad’s girlfriend and then is failing to get any gossip about her at all. “She doesn’t exist to me,” Mia snipes. “But she does, like…exist,” Feli derps. Hee.
At Sonia’s house, Michi tosses all of her cards in the air and says she’s tried of playing this game. Heh. “You’re tiring of losing, you mean,” Hilda snipes. Also hee. Their little party is interrupted by Marizza and Javier, who have come by to see how Sonia is doing. They see that she’s perfectly alive and well, and the whole thing blows up in Sonia’s face, to the surprise of no one. Imagine lying to your daughter, with whom you already have a contentious relationship, about being on your deathbed! Marizza snaps at Sonia that she wishes she really WAS dying. Javier’s like, “Wow, I’m just gonna…go outside.” Hee. Marizza verbally slaps Sonia with a speech about what a bad mother she is, and Sonia begs Marizza to forgive her and accept her. Marizza just calls for Javier and storms out with him. It’s meant to be emotionally affecting, but Marizza is just so damn ungrateful for everything she has and her judgment is so bad that I am just tired. Like I’d sympathize with her a lot more if she didn’t keep reaming people out for lying and then turning around and coddling Javier every five minutes.
Sol and Blas come back from dinner and Sol tries to get Blas to kiss her. He’s like, “Look, you’re super hot and underage and all, but I can’t get fired from this job.” Yeah, where else is he gonna work that’s going to let him be unsupervised around teenage girls all day? He walks off, and Sol gushes to Fernanda that she ALMOST had him that time. She’s also changed her mind about rubbing it in Mia’s face; she wants to keep it a secret because now she thinks her and Blas’s love is ~real. Jesus.
Lujan is doing sit-ups in bed. Ha! It’s been ages since we had a needless reminder that Lujan is a tomboy. I was starting to miss them. Laura comes in to talk to Lujan about Marcos and how she thinks he’s still in love with Lujan. She backs this theory up with a bunch of stuff that I don’t remember happening, but the gist of it is that he liiiikes Lujan still. Lujan denies it and switches the topic to Lola. She tells Laura that finding out your bio parents didn’t want you sucks, and she gets how Lola probably feels right now. Then Blas comes barging in, wanting to know where Marizza is. Maybe you should’ve stayed at school and did your job instead of perving on a student, Blas!
Martavio and the boys run around town looking for Guido. They finally find the waitress’s house, and Guido comes out in a robe. All the boys fall all over themselves to praise him for getting laid. Uh, none of the women on this show love themselves; it’s not an accomplishment. Martavio yells at him to get dressed and they drag him back to school. It’s meant to be funny but it’s Guido so I hate everything about it.
Javier and Marizza come back to school, and Javier’s like, “So if you hate your mom so much, why were you all broken up when you thought she was dying?” “I can be mad at my mom and still not want her to DIE, Jesus,” Marizza doesn’t say. Then Blas rocks up and busts them for sneaking out. Javier and Marizza both try to jump on the pyre for the each other, and Blas is like, “Ugh, all this arguing is harshing my sex offender buzz.” He sends them both to their rooms and says that Dunoff will deal with them tomorrow.
Somewhere in the middle of a street, Manuel and Prophetic Side Bangs are making out in the car when someone pulls up and rear-ends them. I thought for a second it was Sabrina but it’s not, it’s just some dude. Manuel acts all offended even though as far as I can tell, he is literally in the middle of the street. You can’t park a car there, Manuel! He tears off after the car that rear-ended them in a fit of road rage, because THAT is totally normal behavior. Prophetic Side Bangs asks him to stop driving like a maniac and Manuel’s like, “Your feeble girl mind doesn’t understand my road rage!” and he and the car drag race each other right into a circle of police. Nice going, Manuel.
In Marizza’s room, Fernanda is showing Sol photos of her family with the queen — remember that Fernanda supposedly is related to English nobility by marriage? Me either, because they last brought it up like 100 episodes ago — and Sol’s like, “OMG, they’re all so good-looking, just like Blas.” Lujan and Laura are listening in, and they’re like, “What the fuck.” Speaking of whom, Marizza storms in yelling that she’s going to kick Blas’s ass. Lujan and Laura — who I guess Lujan told about Blas’s sob story past? — insist that Blas is only a jerk because he’s had a hard life. “Yeah, poor him,” Marizza snipes. Heh. I’m with her there. Eventually Marizza starts an argument with Fernanda and Sol and they storm out, but Sol has overheard that Lujan has a connection to Blas: “I have to get close to her and Marizza to find out his secrets!” she tells Fernanda. Fernanda’s like, “Or you could just ask him.” Hee! Sol’s like, “Stop saying words.”
Over in Mia’s room, apparently Vico has told them about Rocco and Dani, because they’re arguing over the rights and wrongs of it: Feli’s all upset that Rocco would…dare to stand up for his friend? Mia, on the other hand, says that Rocco is right, and he can be friends with whoever he wants. “Who cares if he’s gay?” she asks, meaning Rocco. Mia remains too good for everyone in this school. She suggests that the reason Vico is taking this so hard is because Vico is in love with Rocco. Vico’s like, “AAAANYWAY, how’s Francisco?” Feli says she hasn’t seen him yet to thank him for the gifts that were definitely for her, but she’s going to do it tomorrow. Then she very weirdly and overdramatically quotes the movie (I think?) while grinding up on her poster again and it’s uncomfortable so let’s just move on.
In the hall the next day, Sol gives Lujan one (1) cookie and immediately starts asking her for information on Blas. Hee! She’s not subtle. Lujan’s like, “Why do you want to know?” After some waffling, Sol confesses that she’s super in love with him, so if Lujan could tell her anything about Blas, his family…Lujan’s like, “Yeah, you don’t want to know,” and runs off. She immediately runs off to tattle to Marizza that Blas was out with Sol last night. Marizza is all aflutter, and when Blas comes up to drag her and Javier to the office, she threatens to tell Dunoff about Blas dating a(nother) student. If you thought that would lead to anything, though: of course it doesn’t. Martavio comes up and hustles them into class while Blas seethes.
In class, Martavio tells everyone that he has an announcement: last night, one of the students never came back to school. Mia immediately notices that Manuel is missing, and Martavio confirms. Don’t worry, guys, I’m sure nothing’s happening to Manuel that he didn’t bring upon his own damn self. Mia volunteers that Sabrina might know where he is, but Martavio says that Sabrina already told them that he stood her up. It’s amazing that nobody’s called the police, ’cause then they could’ve just told the school about how they saw Manuel plow right into where they were parked. Anyway, Mia is all bummed, even though bodily injury to Manuel can only be a good thing.
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