So Mia walked in on Manuel and Sabrina, looking very much like they’re cheating. She’s like, “I hope you can explain this!” and Manuel’s like, “MIA MIA I’M SO GLAD YOU’RE BACK, SO GREAT TO SEE YOU, I WAS TOTALLY NOT THINKING ABOUT CHEATING ON YOU AT ALL.” Sabrina is not happy at all, but she pastes on a smile and says she’s going to look for Francisco. Poor Francisco. He’s just collateral damage in the eternal on-off nature of Manuel and Mia’s relationship.
Manuel asks Mia why she’s back, which I’m also wondering. If I were Papa C, I’d be pissed that I flew Mia all the way to France, and she came back to Argentina after like two days. Except she was in Brazil, apparently. Manuel’s like, “And you didn’t tell me that because…?” and Mia’s like, “Well, clearly there were other things to discuss.” Manuel grovels, and Mia admits Pierre was some made-up dude, and they make out. Then Francisco cockblocks them. HA!
Pablo knocks on the door of his apartment, pretending to be Diego. Marizza lets him in, and Pablo immediately starts yelling at her to get out. Marizza won’t hand over the keys, and then she drops them down her bra, telling him to come get them. Pablo’s like, “Is that supposed to deter me?”
Martavio calls Sonia, and tells her that he knows he conveniently missed their meeting today where he was gonna prove that his brother is real and he’s not some weird stalker — but he can totally do it tomorrow! As long as they meet far away from the school, just the two of them (and his brother). Don’t do it, Sonia! They hang up, and then Papa C calls. Hilda answers, and Sonia refuses to take it, as she does.
Rocco’s dad is still bugging him about meeting Vico. Rocco tries to blow him off, saying that Vico’s out doing Important Things and no, he has no idea when she’ll be back — oh, hi, Vico. She walks in all hunched over, wearing a pair of sunglasses and looking very sus all-in-all, but Rocco’s dad is over the moon to meet her all, “VICTORIA, YOU ARE A REAL GIRL, PRAISE JESUS MY SON IS NOT GAY!” Vico refuses to take the glasses off, and runs away real fast. Rocco’s dad’s like, “Well, that was a little weird, but the important thing is that YOU’RE NOT GAY.”
From above, Tomás and Guido have witnessed this exchange, and Guido’s like, “I can’t believe Vico’s dating him!” I mean, she dated you, Guido. The bar doesn’t get lower.
Pablo chases Marizza around his apartment and eventually tackles her, trying to get his hand down her bra while Marizza shrieks at him to get off her. An excellent moment for people to walk in! Pablo’s working-class girlfriend walks in with her friend, and she’s like, “Attempted rape is so bourgeois!” (Also, hey, check me out spelling bourgeois right on the first try.) The working class girls are like, “Shouldn’t you be out collecting trash?” What, Pablo can’t pick up trash and assault girls at the same time? Multitasking is also very bougie. Marizza promptly blows his cover, announcing to them that he’s the mayor’s son. Both girls slap Pablo and walk out. Marizza finds this all hilarious, and drops the key in his hand before waltzing out herself. Oh, Pablo, the shenanigans you get into.
Oh, hey! A dance break! We haven’t had one of those in a while. Also, it’s not set against a shitty white backdrop! This show has stepped their game up so much.
All the girls in the class slap Pablo, then they dance around him, then they all turn into Marizza and knock him out. Pablo’s like, “Well, this is not the way I wanted my dream sequence to go.”
Back at school, Carmen asks Tomás where Pablo is. Poor dumb Tomás eventually comes up with their go-to lie, which is that Pablo is in the bathroom.
You’ll recall that Feli walked in on Pilar and Fernanda talking shit about Sol, and now she’s promptly reporting back to her. Feli, why don’t you love yourself? Sol heaves a sigh: she’s sorry people are jealous of her, but she can’t help being so popular. Besides, she’s clearly the best choice for team captain, so it doesn’t matter if they hate her or not. So…they haven’t voted her in yet? Why is she trying to call practices, then? Whatever. Feli and Sol hug, but then Mia comes in and Feli ditches Sol to run into Mia’s arms instead. Sol is not happy.
Hilda’s trying to calm Sonia down, by…putting her in a robe and bonnet? It’s unclear. Naturally, Papa C stops by and witnesses Sonia in her weird Puritan goodwife getup. “Wow, that’s ugly,” he says. What? Papa C, you’re usually smoother than that. Anyway, he’s here to tell Sonia to keep her nose out of the Coluccis’ family life, particularly the issue of Mia’s mom. Wow, I had completely forgotten about that, and I bet Sonia did, too. No one would’ve thought of it if you hadn’t brought it up again, Papa C! Sonia’s like, “Fine, whatever, I’ve got my own problems.” Papa C perks up: he sure would like to hear about those! Sonia blows him off, so he corners Hilda instead.
Marcos asks Lujan if she really has a new boyfriend. “And please, tell me the truth,” he says. Lujan caves and admits she doesn’t. Marcos’s fuckboy ass is pleased to hear it, but Lujan snaps at him to go away before he can start professing his love or some shit.
Mia tries to get Feli to tell her what’s going on with Vico, but they’re interrupted by Rocco. He asks Feli what she got from stalking Vico the other day, and Feli’s basically like, “Uh, I dunno, I ditched her to go talk to Sol.” Not in so many words. Rocco runs off to go check on Vico, and Feli tells Mia that they caught Vico pawning her friendship bracelet. Feli says she tried to ask her about it, but she couldn’t get anything out of her. Mia’s like, “Ugh, you’re so bad at interrogating people. I’ll do it.” Heh.
Guido catches Vico hunched over in some corner of the stairway, doing her makeup. Sure, that’s subtle. Go to the bathroom, Vico. Guido notes that Vico’s still wearing her sunglasses — she gives him some excuse about it being her new #aesthetic, and she is acting super, super sketch about it. So of course Guido’s dumb ass is like, “Cool, anyway, you should break up with Rocco.” PRIORITIES, GUIDO. He tells Vico that he thinks Rocco is gay, and Vico says, “For me, he’s the best…in every way.” Burn, Guido. Rocco walks by and Vico grabs him and kisses him. Rocco’s like, “Well hey,” but Vico snaps at him that she’s just trying to get Guido off her back, and she doesn’t actually like him, and she definitely doesn’t want to talk about her issue with him, so goodbye. Rocco tells her he left her a gift in her room.
Ana asks Tomás how their plan for Pablo to cheat his way through his book report worked. Tomás is like, “I dunno, he hasn’t come back.” Ah, but we know Pablo went off to go jump Marizza instead. All that work for nothing!
Sol waltzes in, and Pilar’s like, “Oh look, there’s your boyfriend with Ana. He’s totally not into her, though.” Sol marches up and drags Tomás off, just to prove a point. Ana doesn’t say anything, just watches them go. Ana really needs some self-respect.
Bianca’s gotten Lola to study with her, but Lola’s spacing out, thinking about her invisible friend. Lola, girl, please actually think about the words you are saying. Bianca’s like, “Maybe she got tired of the game,” and Lola sniffles that it was real to her. Why does everyone leave her?! Bianca’s like, “I still like you,” and Lola’s like, “No, you don’t count.” Uh, Lola? Maybe that is why no one likes you. She continues to insist that it’s Marizza, and Bianca’s like, “Okay, but entertain the slightest possibility that it’s not,” and Lola’s like, “Stop saying words.”
Vico goes back to her room and takes off her sunglasses, and of course she has a big ol’ black eye. But she sees the gift Rocco has left for her — he bought back her friendship bracelet. Aw. Then Mia and Feli come in, so Vico has to scramble to put her glasses back on. Feli’s like, “Dude, what is up with that, sunglasses indoors are not a look.” Not unless they’re shutter shades, and those won’t be a thing until 2009. Mia and Feli needle her until she takes the glasses off, but she puts them off with an excuse about how she fucked up her makeup. Mia’s like, “It looks like a bruise,” and Vico’s like, “Pfffft, what would make you think that!” Feli buys it, but Mia shoos her out and tries to talk to Vico one-on-one. Vico insists there’s nothing wrong, and says Sol has been filling Feli’s head with bad ideas. Mia believes her.
Francisco whines to Manuel that he’s not getting anywhere with Sabrina. That’s because she doesn’t like you, fool! She’s trying to get with Manuel and his weird frosted tips! Francisco wants Manuel to teach him to be smooth. Francisco, the only game Manuel knows is “try to kill her dad and hope she still likes you after she finds out.” Nevertheless, Francisco’s dumb ass thinks that going on a double date with Manuel and Mia will help him. He’s like, “Sabrina seems to really like you! So if I pick up some tips from you, then she’ll like me!” Francisco, you sweet summer child. Manuel is reluctant, but eventually gives in.
Sol asks Tomás about the dance group — what made Mia a good team captain? “I’m a man, I don’t care about those things,” Tomás whines at her. Yeah! Real men don’t care about their girlfriends’ hobbies or interests! He plumbs the depths of his brain (not that that’s much) and says that Mia dances well and had good ideas. Then Ana rocks up and tries to drag Tomás away. Man, it’s like she and Sol are playing tug-of-war with him. Ana tells Tomás that Pablo’s come back to school. “OKAY, I’M DONE NOW,” she snaps at Sol. Sol tells Tomás that if he wants to be with her, he has to stop talking to Ana. Well, damn, Sol! He’s never gonna pass the 11th grade now!
Lola rolls up to Dante and says she’ll kiss him if she tells her who her invisible friend is. Dante checks his breath (hee) and goes for it, and Lola spends the entire thing like DDD: And of course, Dunoff catches them. He’s like, “No PDA in the hallways! Take that shit to the map room!” Whatever happened to the map room, anyway? Dunoff’s all, “The fourth year is bad enough, I don’t need the sophomores making out all over the place, too!” “But we were doing it properly, right?” Dante asks. Heh. Dunoff is pissed and marches them off to his office.
Marizza and Laura yell at Lujan for telling Marcos that Luciano isn’t real. They’re like, “We went through all of that trouble of cleaning him up, and we got a knife pulled on us for NOTHING?” Oh, and they still owe Fake Luciano thirty pesos. Lujan and Laura run off to go find some money, but Pablo comes up and stops Marizza. He yells at her that she must not have anything better to do than mess with him. “Yes, I do,” Marizza chirps, and jumps into Diego’s arms. Marizza, no! He has a secret girlfriend in a house somewhere! What if Diego has a secret kid too, just like…oh fuck, what was his name? Simon! That guy.
Bianca runs up and begs Marizza to help her with Lola. Marizza’s about to run off, but then Mia stops her. “I want to thank you for what you did for me,” she says, and tries to hug Marizza. “I have an image to maintain,” Marizza says. Aw! After she scurries off, Manuel broaches the topic of helping Francisco with Sabrina. Mia’s like, “Aw hell no,” but Manuel waxes on about how nice and special and giving Sabrina is. And so mature! Much more mature than other 15-year-olds! Mia’s like, “Excuse?” and Manuel’s like, “But not you! Because I’m definitely not thinking about cheating on you!”
In Dunoff’s office, he’s yelling that he’s going to call Dante and Lola’s parents. Dante is way too excited about this. Dude, your parents don’t need to know about you getting to first base with a girl. Marizza barges into and tries to take the blame, saying she dared Lola to kiss him, but Dunoff’s like, “Dammit, I want to get my punishment on, and you won’t stop me!” Hilda saves Marizza by saying she was going to take Marizza to lunch, and she’ll decide on a punishment on the way. And then, to top it all off, Lola takes this as proof that Marizza really is her invisible friend after all, and won’t let Dante say who it really is. OH MY GOD, LOLA.
Meanwhile, Guido’s whiny ass is going on about how he’s getting blue balled, and it’s all Pablo’s fault, and his life is sooooo haaard. No one cares, Guido. Pablo’s like, “But, but, Marizza!” and both Tomás and Guido are like, “Why are you so obsessed with her?” Anyway, getting back to the real problem: Ana gave Tomás an idea; Pablo can cheat his way through his book report by just Sparknoting it, except SparkNotes doesn’t exist yet so Ana will bullet point the book for him. I thought he was going to cheat off that tape she made? Ana puts in so much work for so little reward. Anyway, Ana hasn’t written the notes yet, but she probably will if they ask. Pablo’s like, “Great, go ask her,” and Tomás is like, “Uh, well, I can’t do that.” Pablo protests that Ana will only do it for Tomás, and then Tomás gets distracted by two freshmen laughing at him. Oh, Tomás. Everyone laughs at you, not just those two. The two kids say they weren’t laughing at him, they were actually talking about how awesome he is, and Tomás is like, “Oh, we cool then.” What? What is the point of this?
Marcos gives Marizza the biology and chem homework that he did for Lujan. They’re taking biology and chemistry at the same time? WHAT KIND OF HIGH SCHOOL IS THIS? Marcos asks Marizza not to tell Lujan that he did her homework for her.
Papa C comes by while Sonia’s out jogging, and tells her that he knows everything about Martavio and Marizza, because Hilda told him. Oh, Hilda. He says that after everything Sonia’s done for Mia, he wants to help with Marizza. Sonia breaks down and admits that she’s freaked out by the whole thing, and she’s all, “Hold me, Papa C!”
Francisco gushes to Mia and Manuel that Sabrina called him! Like on the telephone! She wants to go to the opera with him! And also Mia and Manuel! Mia’s like, “Hold up, no way.” She goes to talk to Feli, and Feli’s like, “Manuel would never cheat on you with Sabrina!” She advises Mia to go and prove to Sabrina that Mia and Manuel are #unbreakable. Then Sol rocks up and chases Mia off, and whines to Feli that she hopes that now that Mia’s back, Feli won’t completely abandon Sol. Feli’s like, “Omg, I would never, because you’re such a good friend!” Literally everything Feli has said in this episode is wrong.
Fernanda tries to talk to Marcos, but he’s all pissy and passive-aggressive with her. She tries to ask him what’s wrong, but he snaps at her to leave him alone. Welcome to Lujan’s world, Fernanda! Eventually Marcos tells her that he’s mad because she lied to him about Lujan’s boyfriend. Fernanda’s like, “But I did see him! He was all shirtless and everything!” Marcos snaps that from now on, he’s going to believe Lujan, not her. Well, it’s a little late now, Marcos.
Sonia goes to meet Martavio. Naturally, his “brother” isn’t there, and Martavio says that he’s finally ready to tell her the truth. Does he tell her the truth? Of course not, because Papa C shows up, and Martavio’s all like, “How dare you invite another man to the truth party!” He storms off in a huff, and the writers just found a way to drag this out for another twenty million episodes.
Fernanda rants to Pilar that Marcos is clearly not over Lujan, and she SAW Lujan’s hot shirtless boyfriend, and he IS real, and oh look, he’s standing right in the middle of the hall. What up, Fake Luciano! He says he’s looking for Lujan, and Fernanda’s like, “Right this way!” She takes him to meet Marcos, and Marcos is like, “You’re…Lujan’s boyfriend?” and Fake Luciano’s like, “Yeah, you got a problem with that?” because as you’ll recall, he’s from the ~streets. Marcos and his poser-ass eyebrow ring and frosted tips are cowed. Fernanda leads Fake Luciano to Lujan and is like, “I found your boyfriend! Oh, and Marcos knows about him, bye.” Marizza runs off to get Fake Luciano’s money, and Marcos comes by all salty that Lujan lied about lying to him. It’s lieception up in here. Fake Luciano is like, “Who is that dude? You’re clearly not his type.” Lujan’s like, “Say what?” and Fake Lucian’s like, “You move differently, you talk differently. You’re not like everyone else here.” Marizza comes back with the money and Fake Luciano leaves, but he and Lujan are all vibing now over their shared background.
Mia comes across Vico crying on a bench. Vico, if you don’t want anyone to find out about your troubled home life, stop crying in public. This school has several perfectly good classrooms that nobody ever uses, because no learning happens here. Rocco saves Vico from explaining, saying that he upset her but he’s apologizing now, so they’re all good.
Pablo and Guido tell Ana that Tomás is avoiding her because Sol told him to. Ana’s remarkably un-upset by this. She’s like, “Ah, that explains it.” Poor Ana. She knows that Tomás is weak. Pablo’s like, “But you’re still gonna do my homework for me, right?” and Ana’s like, “…no.”
Diego tells Lola that even though she doesn’t want to hear it, Marizza isn’t her invisible friend. It’s Laura. Lola’s like, “Say what?” even though she really should know by now that Laura’s the only person in that school who can stand her, besides Bianca.
Gloria tells Marizza that Hilda is looking for her, to take her to lunch and punish her for the whole Dante/Lola business. Marizza wails that she has to get out of here, and Martavio pops up out of nowhere and he’s like, “Do you need to hide? Come with me!” They run off, and then Sonia comes in, looking for Marizza. Lujan tells her that Marizza’s gone off with Martavio. Sonia’s like, “Oh crap.”
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