Does anyone else remember that David Cameron Pretending to be Common tumblr? Every now and then I think about it and I laugh, and then I miss 2011.
Anyway, so remember how Manuel was getting guilt-tripped by that Sabrina girl, about how Erreway was the only thing keeping her alive during her bout of leukemia? And then he found out she was in the hospital, and he was all, “Holy shit, my rejection of her made her relapse!” and he ran all the way there to find her. No, it turns out that she’s just there to volunteer with the sick kids, because she is so Noble and Good. Manuel’s all, “OMG, she cares about poor kids, and I care about poor kids.” Maybe he should cheat on Mia with this girl!
I gotta say, this confusion would probably not have occurred in English, where being in the hospital and being at the hospital are two completely different things. Language is wacky.
Meanwhile, Marizza’s trying to keep Dunoff out so he won’t walk in and see her and her classmates in their bras. Also, Pilar is there and she’s not supposed to be. Francisco runs up and tries to help out Marizza, but all that does is alert Dunoff to the fact that there are a bunch of half-naked kids hanging out without any supervision. He shrieks that he’s going to wait right here, because he is certain Pilar is hanging out there without permission.
Back at Pablo’s apartment, he’s trying to recover from the indignity of having all his furniture removed, although they didn’t kick him out of the apartment or anything. He covers all, “Ha ha, they took our furniture because we have SO much debt, because we’re SO working class!” The girls are like, “Being in debt is so hot.” Then Guido shows up with some girl, and he’s like, “The fuck happened here?” This third girl is also weirdly into the no-furniture look, and coos that she loves the minimalism. It’s Scandinavian, like IKEA! Seriously, where do they find all these girls with no stranger danger? Anyway, Pablo and Tomás tell Guido that they can’t go out to eat because they don’t have any money — I really can’t tell if they’re serious or if this is more pretending to be common — so Guido calls his mom and asks her to make them dinner. Don’t do it, Mama Guido! You’re too good for them!
Sol and Feli have their double date in the school lounge. Romantic. Sol’s all salty that she’s saddled with dorky Nick, while Feli got his hot friend. She lies to Feli’s face and pretends it’s fine, and then maneuvers Nick and Feli away so she can hit on Hot Friend. They run off together, and when Nick and Feli come back, Feli finds a note from Sol that’s like, “Stole your boyfriend, have fun with the nerd, bye.” Oh, Sol. In total fairness, the fact that Hot Friend falls for this makes me think Feli’s dodging a bullet, intelligence-wise.
Over at some restaurant, Hilda is freaking out over the hobo in her apartment. Sonia’s like, “Chill out, what’s the worst that could happen?” She assures Hilda that Andres will make it better, to which Hilda calls him useless. HEE! Andres says that he’s gotten the hobo out, but Hilda better go back and live in her apartment, so nobody gets in again. Sonia gets sad, and says she’ll miss her. Andres is like, “Yeah, that’s too bad, huh.”
After her volunteering session, Manuel and Sabrina talk about why she helps little kids, and she tells him all her deep thoughts on life and death and shit. Manuel’s all blown away by how noble she is, and asks to come volunteer with her tomorrow. Damn, Mia hasn’t even been out of the country for five minutes. Control yourself, Manuel.
Mama Guido brings by their dinner — Guido says that he’s trying to impress some girls, so if she could not call him her son, that would be great. I swear to God, Guido, if you try to pretend your mom is your maid one more time, Imma slap you. Anyway, Pablo gets all weepy that his mom never cooked him dinner. Mama Guido adorably asks him what his favorite food is, and she’ll make it for him. When the girls come back, they’re like, “Ew, is this your mom?” Guido’s all ready to throw his family under the bus, as usual, but Pablo jumps in and says, “Yup, this is my mom.” Aw! They eat dinner, and Guido’s date is like, “Uh, do we have any utensils?” and Pablo’s date is like, “Ugh, utensils are so bourgeois.” Guido’s date gets weirded out and leaves, shrieking that she thought Guido was rich. Pablo’s date is like, “I hate liars (but I love guys with no money).” Pablo’s like, “Well, I am definitely not lying about being poor,” and they run upstairs to have sex. Tomás’s date gives him the eyeball, so basically everyone is getting laid except actual working class Guido. Rough life, bro.
Laura blames Francisco for their new predicament, since if he didn’t jump in all shirtless to talk to Dunoff, they wouldn’t be in trouble right now. They argue, and Laura’s like, “Don’t be a dick just because I don’t like you,” and Francisco snaps that he doesn’t like her anymore. They get cut off by Marizza, who has a master plan for all of them to sneak out of there. This plan apparently involves Diego dressing up as Marizza, which freaks Dunoff out enough that everyone else can sneak by him without getting caught.
Rocco and Vico hang out after doing her chores. Vico gets a pain in her face, where her dad hit her, but lies when Rocco asks if he hurt her.
Laura emos to Marizza that Francisco doesn’t like her anymore, and Marizza’s like, “Well, you don’t like him, so…what’s the deal?” Laura’s like, “I don’t know…maybe I do like him…pfft, nevermind, that’s impossible.” OR IS IT? Anyway, they have more important things to discuss, like the fact that Lujan never showed. Laura guiltily confesses that she saw Lujan talking to Marcos, and Marizza’s like, “Aw hell no.” Man, I hate how relatable this is. We’ve all had that friend who’s been totally dickmatized by a guy and ignores all your advice. As ever, Marizza takes it too far and starts ranting about how she’ll get Marcos kicked out of school if that’s what it takes to get him off Lujan’s brain, and why is Lujan being such a dumbass, and she’s Marizza’s best friend but Marizza’s ready to kill her for being an idiot. Lujan comes back and overhears this, naturally. She slinks off all sadface.
The next morning, Sonia gets a message from Martin, and Andres gets pissed that Sonia’s so obsessed with him. Sonia blusters that she’s trying to investigate him for Marizza’s well-being, and Andres points out that nothing’s happened to Marizza, Sonia just wants Martin’s body. Then Dunoff calls. “What did Marizza do now?” Sonia wails. Hee. They meet up at a cafe, and Dunoff tells Sonia that Marizza was having an orgy yesterday. Uh, is it really an orgy if it’s only two people? Sonia assumes Marizza was with Diego, her boyfriend, but Dunoff’s like, “Impossible!” Bizarrely, his reasoning is not that Marizza was with another guy entirely, but because Diego is a transvestite. Sonia starts freaking out, and Dunoff clasps her hand in his. An excellent time for Mama D to rock up! Dunoff and Sonia try to explain, but Mama D assumes that Dunoff is having an affair and snaps that she never wants to see him again. Well, she’s about 15 years too late, but she’s not entirely wrong.
Marizza wakes Lujan up so she can yell at her some more about Marcos. Heh. Oh, Marizza. Lujan lies and says she was out with another guy yesterday, to get Marizza off her back. Marizza wants details, and Lujan blusters that his name is Luciano and she met him on the street — where we all had to meet guys, in the days before Tinder — and he’s super shy, so he’s never going to want to meet Marizza, but that doesn’t mean he’s not real! Because he’s totally real.
Andres calls someone to track down Martin and Octavio Andrade. He specifies that he wants it kept between him and his information source only; he doesn’t want Sonia to know about it.
Sabrina comes to the school to meet Manuel, and Feli (who’s multitasking, emoing over Sol’s betrayal as well) sees them leave together. She’s suspicious. Sabrina and Manuel go to a cafe together, and Sabrina is all shocked to learn that Erreway doesn’t have a manager or an agent or basically anyone besides their dumbass teenage selves. Being that her dad is kind of a big deal in the industry, Sabrina offers to rep Erreway and leverage her father’s contacts for them.
Sonia calls Marizza about her filthy orgy party. “If Dunoff doesn’t know where his daughter is, that’s not my problem,” Marizza snarks. Sonia’s like, “True,” and decides to drop the whole thing. Heh. A+ parenting, Sonia.
Dunoff asks Pilar to help unthaw Mama D a little, so she’ll talk to him. Ooh, put your kid in the middle of your messy divorce. That always goes so well for everyone. Maybe Pilar and Pablo can bond over their parents’ messy marriages.
Back at Pablo’s apartment, Guido’s all salty that he blew it with his date, blaming Pablo for his new obsession with slumming it. Then Mama Guido swings by, and Pablo is cutely excited to see her. I’m glad someone is finally giving Guido’s adorable mom the recognition she deserves. Mama Guido gives the boys food, and she gives Pablo…money? I’m not entirely sure. It’s something out of her wallet, anyway. Guido gets even more upset, but his mom rightly points out that he never wants her to take care of him, whereas Pablo does.
The entire video for “Tiempo” ensues, for some reason. I mean, we only see half of it at the beginning of every episode already.
Feli and Vico sit down to write an email to Mia, and Feli frets over whether to tell her about Sabrina. Vico doesn’t think they should, but Feli reminds her of their promise to Mia. The solution, as ever, is stalking: Vico suggests that they follow Manuel for a bit to see how bad the Sabrina situation is, and if they see anything, they’ll tell Mia.
Vico’s dad comes to the school, and Rocco intercepts him. He introduces himself as Vico’s boyfriend, and claims not to know where she is. Vico’s dad gets all pissy and snarks on Rocco’s outfit, and says he wants Vico to call him. Rocco goes to find Vico, and she gets mad that he told her dad that she wasn’t here. “Who are you to meddle in my life?” she snaps. Vico, Vico, Vico. Meddling is all anyone does around here, you should know that by now!
Marizza catches Lujan wrapping a present, and Lujan says it’s for Luciano. Marizza wants to come meet him, but Lujan blows her off. She gets on a bus, and Marcos sees her and calls her name, but she ignores him too. Later, Marizza casually tells Marcos that Lujan’s out with her new boyfriend today. Marcos gets pissy for about half a second, but then he justifies his title as the smartest of the kids, and cottons on that Luciano’s not real. He tells Marizza so, and she gets suspicious.
Pablo and Tomás invite their dates over again, and their dates are like, “Why aren’t you working today?” Damn, guys, they’re allowed to have a day off! This isn’t the 19th century! They BS that they have two jobs, with their second job being janitors at the mayor’s office. This is a needlessly complex lie. Just explain labor laws to them, Pablo. Anyway, they go to see Mama Guido, and ask her to give them trash to help with their ruse. Mama Guido sighs to Pablo that it must be hard, having money — you never know if people like you for yourself, or because of what you have. Pablo’s like, “OMG, that’s deep.”
Andres’s whining has paid off, and Sonia hangs all over him, cooing that she’s neglected him. But then she tells him that she’s brought him a present: the key to his new apartment! Andres is all pissed that she’s not letting him mooch off her anymore. Jesus, Andres, she found you a whole apartment! She’s paying his rent, too! Oh, Sonia, you’re better than this. Just put him on the street; if Lujan can survive it, so can he.
Feli sees Sabrina drop Manuel off at school, and runs to tattle to Vico. Vico’s busy dealing with her dad, and she tells Feli to investigate herself. Feli runs out in front of Sabrina’s car, and Sabrina flips her shit. She starts sniping at Feli to watch where she’s going. Pedestrians have the right of way, Sabrina! Feli’s kind of weird and awkward, as per usual, but Manuel and Sabrina start acting really cagey and rude to her for no real reason. Manuel doesn’t bother to introduce or defend Feli at all, even though she’s his friend. Feli blusters that she’s not just Manuel’s friend, she’s also his girlfriend’s bestie. “What girlfriend?” Sabrina asks. Oh, fuck Manuel, man. Manuel says that they were just talking about work, and he forgot to mention it. “Hmm, just a little detail, right?” Feli says. Hee. Burn him, Feli.
I…don’t know why there’s a random playground behind them.
Vico tells her dad not to come to school anymore — she has the money for him, and she’ll come by tomorrow and hand it over.
Lujan comes back to school at night, and Marizza confronts her about lying. Aw, Lujan. You should’ve made up a fake boyfriend that goes to another school. Or who lives in Canada.
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