We open with…Mia yelling at Feli. Wait, what? That is not where we left off. I mean, I know nobody working on this show gives a shit about continuity, but damn, guys. There’s like an entire scene missing here. Well, anyway, we can fill in the blanks, as we must do so often on this show. For a brief second I had completely forgotten how Feli even knows what’s happening, even though I just watched that episode like yesterday, so if you’ve also forgotten, Pilar tricked Laura into telling her what Marizza’s up to, then Pilar told Sol, who told Feli.
Mia tries to get Feli to tell her what’s going on, snapping at her, “You have to tell me! You’re my friend!” “I can’t,” Feli says, and runs away. Tomás and Guido are like, “Awkward.”
Pablo’s still…being held captive in the main office? I don’t know. Martavio runs in asking, “How are you? Are you okay? How are you?” like he thinks Pablo’s being tortured or something. Then he sits down and starts trying to talk to Pablo about his problem and OH, RIGHT, THAT PROBLEM. For one beautiful moment, I had forgotten all about this whole bizarro subplot rotating around a bunch of teachers being obsessed with Pablo’s dick. They start doing the dance of one dialogue, two conversations, where Martavio’s like, “The thing is that you just gotta relax, let it pass, man,” and Pablo’s like, “I’m just too worked up!” and Martavio’s like, “Well, of course you’re worked up, but you’re gonna hurt yourself,” and Pablo’s like, “I’m not gonna hurt myself, I’m gonna hurt Marizza,” and Martavio’s like, “Well, it’s not her fault you can’t perform,” and Pablo’s like, “It literally is, though, because now I’m going to miss the show,” and then Martavio’s like, “Well, it’s a little weird that you call it a show,” and Pablo’s like, “I want out of this conversation now.” Finally Martavio snaps that he knows Pablo’s impotent, and Pablo wants to know who the hell told him that, and Martavio hems and haws that it was a she, but he won’t say who she is, and of course Pablo leaps to the conclusion that it was Marizza. Oh boy.
Lujan cries to Marizza that she thinks Marcos likes Fernanda. Does Marizza think so? Marizza’s like, “Uh, uh…no idea.” Of course, then Mia picks that moment to storm in and be like, “WOW, so you’re gonna shoot the messenger just because I told you Marcos and Fernanda are fucking around?” Marizza’s like NO, STOP, DANGER WILL ROBINSON, but Lujan’s already overheard and she is not pleased at all. She starts shrieking that Marizza didn’t tell her out of PITY and HOW VERY DARE SHE PITY HER! and now she has to go kick someone’s ass, please and thank you.
Inappropriate closeup of Sonia’s rear end! Can this show stop trying to get me to objectify Catherine Fulop? Gloria comes bearing the bad news that Dunoff wants to suspend the workshops in order to add more sports. What? They have enough sports! Gym is the only consistent class these kids have!
That random lady who showed up last episode is apparently named Martina. So she and Martavio are Martin and Martina? That’s not confusing at all. Martavio enlists her to teach him how to teach art (God, that’s confusing), except she’s going to pose as his student, except she’s the one teaching him. Sure, let’s just make this even more complex than it means to be.
Laura continues to be a dumbass and tell Sol’s group all about Marizza and New Erreway. For some reason, she thinks a bunch of high schoolers can help promote the group, like any of them have any pull with radio stations or club bookings or anything like that. Sol, at least, has some model friends that I guess are going to…tell…their other model friends about it? Man, it’s not like they can post about it on Instagram. 2003 was a different time. Anyway, Marizza and Francisco rock up and announce that Francisco’s officially in charge of making the posters, which gets Laura all upset. Then Rocco comes up and wants to rehearse, but Marizza’s like, “Pfft, rehearse for our upcoming show? Nah, I got better shit to do,” and blows him off.
Tomás and Guido finish their forged letter from Papa B and deliver it to Pablo. It sounds okay, I guess, but we don’t get to actually see the letter. I’m assuming everything in it is misspelled. Then Tomás lets it slip that Marizza’s plotting against Erreway, and Pablo flips out. She keeps ruining his life! First with the impotency rumors, now this! He is going to kill her! “Yeah, you have to kill her,” Guido agrees. Heh. It’s terrible, but the absolute casualness with which he says that cracks me up.
They’re so proud of themselves.
Hilda is still hanging around bugging Andres, and cracking me up. She has a tab to pay at the store, and Sonia chirps that they’ll just send a check — “No, I said he would pay,” Hilda snipes. After all, it’s not like Andres contributes to living in the house in any other way. HEE!
Marizza’s Erreway rehearses “Será de Dios” together. Ah, I see her logic — putting Rocco in her band means she gets access to all his emo songs. Well played, Marizza. Hmm, in a battle of lyrics written by rich kids with shaky relationships with their parents, who would win? Rocco or Pablo and Mia? Anyway, trouble is already brewing within the band, as Rocco is singing over Francisco and Diego. They’re like, “This isn’t ‘NSync! We want equal singing parts, like the Backstreet Boys!” Then Diego tells Marizza that he’s found a place for the benefit concert. And then he kisses her, and then it devolves into yet another conversation about their relationship. What? Okay, whatever.
Sol and Feli are hanging out again, while Mia and Vico seethe. Enter Pilar — through a door that, weirdly enough, has Lord of the Rings posters on it, like any of those girls would like LOTR — and she drags Sol off. Mia takes the opportunity to take her bed back in the most passive-aggressive manner possible. Sol comes back and Mia snarks at her that this bed was always hers, and she’s just putting everything back where it belongs. They almost fight, but Feli and Vico manage to pull them apart, and Sol runs off while Vico and Mia snicker. Feli is not happy at all to be in the middle of this. Seriously, is there no one in charge of the room assignments at this school? Don’t answer that; I know there isn’t.
Marizza overhears Tomás and Guido talking loudly about how THIS THING happened with PABLO at his APARTMENT, not that it’s any of Marizza’s business. Marizza’s like, “Something might be going on with Pablo? MUST MEDDLE!” She tells Lola to deal with Lujan’s emotional problems while Marizza stalks her ex-boyfriend. Man, hasn’t Marizza ever heard the phrase “uteruses before duderuses”?
Lola’s grandma is avoiding her calls now that Laura’s told her to, which poor Lola is upset and confused by. Then she gets locked in the laundry room, and despite the show not hinting at all that someone else is in there, it turns out Bianca is. She’s locked herself and Lola in to talk their shit out, and asks Lola to think if there’s anyone else who could’ve told Laura about Lola’s plan. Lola’s like, “Oh…well…I guess I told Marizza, but she would never betray me!” What? Lola, you barely know Marizza. Bianca says that she wanted to fix things because their friendship mattered to her, but if Lola’s willing to believe that Marizza’s more trustworthy than her, then she’s going to let it go. Aw, man. That shit really hits me where I live, so I find it quite emotionally effective. Well played, show.
Night falls. Guido and Tomás continue to overact about how they CAN’T POSSIBLY be sneaking out of school, but they can’t leave Pablo alone with SONIA REY, who is AT HIS APARTMENT. That is the fakest story I have ever heard in my life, but Marizza panics and runs off to Pablo’s sex dungeon. As soon as she runs in, she sees Sonia’s not there, and Pablo locks the door behind them. Oh my God, if he tries to assault her again, my head is gonna pop off and fly around the room.
Pablo tells her that she’s being kidnapped. She manages to run to the door, but she can’t open it. The hell kind of front door locks from the outside? Pablo ties her up and tapes her mouth(!!!), although he removes it so she can confess all to him. She tells him about the benefit concert and swears that’s all she’s up to with her new band, but Pablo doesn’t believe her. Then he tapes her mouth up again, says he’s going to forge a note saying she’s spending the night with a friend, and leave her here. JESUS CHRIST, PABLO.
Kicked out of her bed, Sol proceeds to spend the rest of the night bawling. “I’m trying to sleep,” Vico snaps at her. “If you don’t shut up, I’ll shut you up.” Down below, Feli tries to get up and go to her, but the second she moves, Mia sits straight up in bed: “One more step, and you can forget our friendship, Felicitas. If you want to keep being friends, GO BACK TO BED.” Oh my God, this is absolutely terrible of them, but Mia and Vico’s new mafioso-type approach to dealing with their roommates is so hilarious that I kind of love it.
Lujan’s still crying in the basement. Man, has she left that place in like two days? She has a dream sequence of Marcos and Fernanda going on a date — Marcos does that thing for Fernanda where he puts his jacket over a puddle so she can walk on it, like they can’t just walk around it — and Lujan has to tag along as the valet. It’s very “You Belong With Me.”
She wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts~
And then it goes from being sad to creepy when she storms into Marcos’s room in the middle of the night and starts yelling at him to swear he didn’t cheat with Fernanda. Manuel and Francisco try to pull her off (I guess Diego just doesn’t give a shit), and Marcos confesses that he and Fernanda kissed once. They did? They probably did and I’m just forgetting. Blas comes in and wants to know what Lujan’s doing here, and all the boys try to cover for her, but Lujan throws her own damn self under the bus and says she’s here to try and get into Marcos’s pants. What? Lujan, you don’t gotta martyr yourself for him! Blas gets all gleeful that this is grounds to expel her and send her to a reformatory, Spring Awakening-style. I guess that’s what Lujan might be going for, so she doesn’t have to deal with Marcos and Fernanda anymore.
Oh, and Diego is in the background, also protesting on Lujan’s behalf. Aw, he does care, after all!
Marizza falls asleep and Pablo watches her and fantasizes about making out with her. He cares! Not enough to let her go, though. In the morning, Marizza asks him again to let her go and Pablo’s like, “Hmm, how about no,” and waltzes off to school. Marizza cries her way through the day, but then has a memory of stomping on the ground when she was little, and Sonia admonishing her that she was making too much noise. Marizza starts stomping on the floor to alert Pablo’s neighbors that he has a girl tied up in his apartment. Jesus, he looks more like a serial killer every day.
Sol wakes up early to dump glue(!) in Mia’s hair. Feli catches her and apologizes for not sticking up for her earlier, but Sol blows her off. Not that Feli’s on Mia’s side either, since she lets Sol get away with it. Mia wakes up, and…it’s not pretty.
She starts freaking out, and Sol slaps her to snap her out of it (heh). I mean, it works. Then Sol waltzes off to go cry to Dunoff that she’s being bullied. How’s that going to work? She’s not the one with glue in her hair. Oh, like Dunoff cares enough to look that far into it. Ah, no, Sol is saying that Mia taking over her bed is the last straw, and she’ll be leaving Elite Way now, and Etchamendi certainly won’t like hearing about this. Dunoff bleats that she doesn’t have to tattle to Etchamendi; he’ll take care of this himself. After all, good relations between the students is “fundamental” to Elite Way. Ha! Oh, that is hilarious.
Marizza’s group meets to pat themselves on the back on a concert well-planned, but then they realize Marizza’s not here. Laura says she never came back last night, but then they all kind of shrug and they’re like, “Eh, if she doesn’t show up by lunch, then we’ll worry.” Thankfully, Sonia shows up and flips out the second she realizes Marizza is gone. Sonia’s really stepping up her parenting game this season.
Lujan turns her signed confession in to Blas, and even he tries to get her to rethink what she’s doing. He’s like, “You’re just going to give up your place here? Thousands of orphans would love to have your opportunities.” God, I hate when Blas makes a good point. Don’t go back out onto the streets over a stupid boy, Lujan! Nevertheless, she hands over the confession.
Meanwhile, Gloria is not having a good day. She has to call Papa C about Mia’s crisis, and then Sonia bangs in wailing about Marizza. Diego gives her Pablo’s forged note, saying she’s spending the night with a friend — how did he get that note? Whatever, the show doesn’t worry about it, and neither will I — but Sonia quickly cottons on that Marizza doesn’t have any random friends that aren’t already at Elite Way.
Dunoff proceeds to have an incredibly boring dick-sucking meeting with Etchamendi. He tells Etchamendi that he’s written a strongly-worded letter to try and make these kids behave better (sure, that’ll happen). Etchamendi is all pleased by this, and also pleased by Sonia’s workshop, apparently. You know, the one Dunoff’s been trying to shut down. Dunoff’s like, “Oh, right, the workshops. Excellent idea, I always thought so.”
Papa C calls Mia, but the story as he and Dunoff have heard it is that Sol messed up Mia’s hair because Mia took over her bed first. Well…okay, that’s true, and Mia shouldn’t have torn up Sol’s posters. Still, why did Sol want Mia’s bed so badly when there was a perfectly serviceable one upstairs the whole time? Why is this elite school packing kids into the dorms like sardines? Anyway, Papa C is pissed at Mia and won’t hear her out. Admittedly, it is really hard to understand Mia when she whines like that.
For some reason, Papa C then calls Sonia, but she won’t take his call as she’s too busy freaking out. She screams about Marizza all the way down the hallway, and Martavio catches wind of what’s going on. He completely loses his shit all, “How very dare you lose your daughter, who I’m not sure is also my daughter and who it just looks like I have an inappropriate interest in!” Sonia’s like, “Who are you to talk to me like that?” and he snaps, “I’M THE FATHER, DAMMIT!” Oh. Oh, dear.
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