Previously on Rebelde Way: Dunoff went from zero to “spying on the students via hidden camera and breaking into their bedrooms”, which is not what I meant when I said this school needs supervision. He busts Marizza sneaking in to talk to Pablo, but she finagles her way out of punishment. Dunoff’s like, “Dammit! MUST! MAKE! CHILDREN! MISERABLE!” Actually, he seems weirdly pumped by this? Because he successfully stopped Marizza talking to Pablo? Even though she didn’t get in trouble anyway? And Pablo wasn’t in the room anyway? Man, I take two weeks off from this show and I come back expecting it to make sense and everything.
Etchamendi walks in on Dunoff doing his completely undeserved victory lap, and drags him off to his office to hear whether Dunoff’s made his decision about pursuing higher education. Dunoff mumblegrumbles that he’ll get his Master’s (just! hire! more teachers!) and that he knows lots of professors at good universities, but Etchamendi cuts him off and says he wants Dunoff to get the degree from some fancy American university. “In English?” Dunoff squawks. Seriously, is Etchamendi just fucking with Dunoff now?
Laura clears her name with Lujan and Marizza, and they realize the only other person in the room who heard her plan to see Pablo was Pilar. Ergo Pilar must be the snitch, and she hasn’t changed after all. Aw, man, I actually really like Pilar and her shady, insecure ways. I don’t wanna watch everyone be mean to her again 🙁
And yet, everyone is. All the kids leave class and see a big sign in the hallway with pictures from the Dunoffs’ vacation, saying “GREETINGS FROM MAR CHIQUITA!” Fernanda leads everyone in making fun of Pilar, and Pablo follows along. Pablo! I thought you had character development from last season! BE LESS OF A DICK! Pilar storms up and tries to tear the poster down, and Rocco needles her that he wants to get a good shot of it, so he can do a documentary on pathetic vacations. Rocco’s such a fucking poser. He’s all about being edgy and 2 hardxcore for all these ~prepz, but he goes right along with them bullying a classmate. People with shitty haircuts shouldn’t throw stones, Rocco! Dunoff comes up and defends their vacation, which just makes everyone make fun of Pilar more.
Their fun is cut off when the mysterious Woman in Black walks by, and they all just watch her and…don’t do anything about it. Okay.
Back in Mia’s room, Pilar rips up the poster while ranting that she changed and tried to get everyone to accept her, but it was all for naught. “They don’t know who they’re messing with,” she snarls. “I’ll get Feli, Vico, and finally Sol.” DESTROY THEM, PILAR! \O/ I mean, I guess it’s supposed to be creepy, but I can completely understand how someone might snap when they’re surrounded by these assholes day in and day out.
Tomás does his homework at the bar and flirts with what’s-her-face (Ana?) some more. Diego rolls up and needles Tomás about being into her, but Tomás is like, “She is a mere servant!” And yet, when Sol walks in, Tomás ignores her while Diego nearly drowns in his own drool. Diego’s like, “Hey, if you’re gonna keep ignoring Sol, I’m gonna go for it and I bet she’ll like me better than you.” Tomás is like, “Don’t get cocky, you’ve literally just been promoted to a secondary character.” They make a sort-of bet to see who can get with Sol first, except not really because they don’t seem to be betting anything except their fragile egos. Tomás already lost his CD collection to Pablo, so I guess he has nothing left in his life now.
Pilar plays nice and apologizes to Vico and Feli for lying to them about Mar Chiquita, but that doesn’t stop anyone (namely, Pablo) from continuing to mock her. Okay, what’s supposedly wrong with Mar Chiquita anyway? Google says it’s a lake in Córdoba, so not exactly the most exotic vacation, but it’s still a vacation spot. I mean, if any of them are gonna come for Pilar, it probably shouldn’t be the guy who spent his whole summer at home crying over his mother.
Everyone reconvenes in class, and they meet their new math teacher, a Mariano Miranda. He’s youngish and has a square jaw, and I knew in that moment the show was gonna try to make me think he’s hot, even though he literally has a mullet. What the fuck.
Sol goes crazy over him, and announces to the entire class that he could be a model, not a teacher. (Lujan makes a gagging noise. HA!) Mariano politely shuts her down, God bless him. Will the teachers this year actually have some semblance of professionalism and boundaries with the students? I can only dream.
Mama Guido calls the school and finds out that Guido hasn’t been in class. When she finds out he hasn’t, she…promptly covers for him. Dammit, Mama Guido! Cut the cord!
Remember how we left off on a cliffhanger where Mia was about to be drowned by a sea lion? Yeah, just forget that that happened, because the show already has. Now Mia and Manuel are on a beach somewhere. They frolic in the ocean, then Manuel almost drowns and it’s suspenseful for like 10 seconds, but Mia saves him and they make out. Look, I totally appreciate that they sent Luisana Lopilato and Felipe Colombo all the way to the Galapagos and now they have to get their money’s worth out of the location, but there is no point to any of these scenes.
Pablo emos over the fact that his mom hasn’t replied to any of his emails. Marizza asks him what’s wrong, and reminds him that they agreed to try to be friends. Pablo tells her about his parental woes, and Marizza suggests that maybe his mom, like all old people, is shit with technology. Heh. Pablo thinks something worse has happened (he’s not wrong), and Marizza suggests that he try to reach Mama B via snail mail. But Pablo doesn’t know where to send it, and Marizza’s like, “Just ask your dad! I bet he’ll totally tell you the truth!” Marizza, are you new here? She waltzes off to class, and then Papa B calls telling Pablo that he needs to come home because he has news about Mama B. Dramatic!
Pilar overhears Vico asking Feli about her ED treatment. Scare chord! All seems to be well for Feli, but we’ll see how long that lasts. Dunoff comes in and they ask him about their various missing classmates; Dunoff says that Guido’s mom told him he was with his aunt, and Mia and Manuel will be back whenever. I’m glad Dunoff cares about the whereabouts of his students. Vico is confused because it seems Guido’s mom knows that he’s not at school.
The Woman in Black comes in and takes off her veil, and it’s Hilda! I was sort of suspecting that, because of the hair and all, but I was not expecting them to go there so soon after she got her happy ending. She reveals that Hilario died the very day they got married, for maximum pathos, and now she’s in mourning. That’s such a downer ending to their story, and also kind of weird because the actor who plays Hilario was still alive at the time (he died in 2009), so it’s not like he had to be written out. Anyway, Hilda can’t even start class without bursting into tears, and Rocco films it all because he’s an insensitive ass. You know, from reading synopses of season 2, I actually thought I was going to like Rocco, but there is a crushing gap between expectations and reality.
(The actress who plays Hilda, by the way, is actually 10 years older than Hilario’s actor, and is still alive and kicking as of this writing. She’s 96 years old! That’s crazy.)
Andres comes to the school and hems and haws about how Mia and Manuel won a vacation, and Papa C didn’t let them go exactly, and it’s not like anyone lied about it, but there was definitely meddling from a certain Sonia Rey, if you get his drift, which Dunoff unfortunately does. So Papa C has no idea where Mia and Manuel are, but Andres suspects that they might be trying to communicate with their friends at school, possibly via email. Dunoff’s like, “Spying on the students? Count me the fuck in!” This is a very shaky plan, I must say, mostly because it hinges on Mia and Manuel sparing a thought for anything besides their makeout sessions.
Diego and Tomás try to win Sol over with flowers. Tomás embarrassingly has the smaller bouquet (is this a metaphor?) so he plays it off like the flowers are for Hilda, to put on Hilario’s grave. “Thank you,” Hilda wails, grabbing Diego’s flowers, too. HEE!
Vico and Feli speculate over whether or not Hilda killed Hilario with her vagina on their wedding night. These kids are ice cold! Did they not spend like half of last season trying to get those two together? They go into their room and see a package of candy on Feli’s desk, purporting to be from a secret admirer. The secret admirer is Pilar, isn’t it? Man, nobody ever played these types of pranks on me when I was in school. I didn’t have a boyfriend or free candy 🙁 Vico says that the admirer can’t know Feli all that well, because everyone who was around last season knows that she’s not supposed to eat (all those?) sweets. I don’t know if the issue is the amount of candy or the fact that it’s candy at all. If it’s the latter, that seems just as unhealthy since it’s encouraging restrictive/denial behavior. Well, whatever. Actually, if this admirer is Pilar, it’s pretty messed up of her to be fucking around with Feli’s eating disorder recovery. Anyway, this leads Vico and Feli to the conclusion that her admirer is one of the new boys. “Maybe Francisco? I would die if it’s Francisco,” Feli gushes. She says she’ll put the candy in the cafeteria so everyone can share it, and forces herself to march out of the room with it.
Vico lies that she’s going to see her mom (ohhhh dear), except by her mom she means “Guido”, except she unknowingly really does mean her mom. Yikes! She comes home just as her mom is trying to mack on Guido (again) — there’s a brief aside about how Vico’s mom wears Vico’s clothes and makeup and is basically trying to ape her daughter’s adolescence, which might explain her SUPER GROSS seduction of a teenage boy. Anyway, Guido hides in the closet, but his phone goes off when Vico calls him. Ah, the days before we always put our phones on vibrate mode. Weirdly, they argue because Vico’s…upset that his parents think he’s with his aunt? Does she want them to know that he’s in her house? It’s not clear. He still won’t tell her why he’s fighting with his parents and talks her out of the house while Mama Vico watches ~suspiciously.
Mia breaks a nail fishing and freaks out because she’s a giiiirl, so Manuel carries her off so they can ride on an ATV together. “It’s just like Marizza’s,” he says, and Mia’s all, “How dare you mention that name to me!” Uh…didn’t Marizza get them together, though? She’s the reason you’re here in the first place, Mia! They ride around town and make out on the beach some more. Manuel unhooks her bikini top (scandalous!), but then he rehooks it and says he wants her to be completely sure before they go any further. Uh, then maybe just ask before you go for her boobs?
Tomás and Diego continue their pissing match over Sol. She comes into the bathroom while they’re shaving and Diego cuts himself right on the face. It’s really a toss up which one of them is more likely to end up with her. I mean, Tomás is clearly dumber, but somehow Diego is even less smooth. Tomás at least manages not to trip over his boner every time Sol’s in the room.
Papa B gives Pablo a letter from Mama B (OR IS IT?) about how their marriage was just a lie and now she wants to get divorced as soon as possible. Pablo cries that this can’t be (jk, we actually got through like two whole episodes without a “NO PUEDE SER”) and Papa B creepily strokes his face and says that they need each other more than ever now. IIIICK.
Sol sets the feminist movement back a few years and tells Fernanda that there’s no point in studying math, because studying is for ugly girls. Pretty girls can just get hapless boys to do their homework for them! Exhibit A: Tomás, who’s so desperate to get into Sol’s pants that he tries to pass himself off as good at math. Poor dumb Tomás.
Marizza tries to be nice to Pablo again, but he flies off the handle at her (weirdly, she snaps, “Well, I’m sorry for bothering you!” and then he yells back, “NO, I’M SORRY!” like…what?). Then he writes a super emo message to his mom, asking why she left him.
Manuel and Mia wax on about how hot the other is and how in love they are. Do they like…actually talk about anything together? Real question. Manuel’s like, “It was totally worth my dad committing suicide and me wasting a year of my life repeating high school, because our love is so real!” What the fuck does Manuel think he’s gonna do with two high school diplomas? Can’t he just go to college in Argentina? I mean, Simon and Matías were supposedly college students and they had all the time in the world to swing by Elite Way and hit on their teenage girlfriends. Anyway, Mia and Manuel make out again, some more, to “I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman” by Britney Spears. What a song choice. They sink down and out of the frame, which is usually this show’s visual shorthand for “they totally have sex,” but I know they keep fighting about Mia putting out all throughout the season, so I guess they just make out. This show keeps changing up its messages and it’s super confusing.
Back at school, everyone’s working on some kind of “exotic building” project. I don’t know what that is. They’re just building the weirdest structures possible, for no reason I can see. Poor Lujan is struggling with hers (#relatable, I was also shit at art class), and Marcos tells her that he’ll just finish it for her. Marizza drags Lujan out of the classroom, and Laura geeks out with Marcos over her building’s functioning sunroof. Lola swings by to make fun of Laura for being a nerd, and Marcos is just like, “Sibling dynamics are unfamiliar to me because my only brother died from horseback riding under the influence, so…yeah.”
Manuel and Mia make out some more, this time at a cafe. Manuel goes to get them some drinks and for some reason decides to take love advice from the random bartender. Full disclosure, I did not understand half the conversation because the bartender talked really fast, and also the audio situation in all the Galapagos scenes is absolutely terrible. It’s weird because this was not an issue during last season’s beach episodes, but it’s like they just completely forgot how to record sound outdoors. There was a scene earlier with Mia and Manuel in the ocean, and their dialogue was barely audible over the waves and the sound of the wind hitting the microphone. It sounded like a shitty home movie. Anyway, the bartender like…just happens to also be from Argentina, and he’s so happy to see two Argentinian kids in love that he just like…lends him his boat? I dunno, that’s what it sounded like. I usually check against the Italian dub in cases like this, because the dub makes the voices clearer, but as my luck would have it, the sound is muted on the only Italian version of this episode. Just stab me in the face, man.
Vico’s mom continues to creep on Guido. He stands up for himself and says that he feels like she’s taking advantage of him (good for Guido!), but unfortunately just then Vico’s dad(?) comes home and Vico’s mom starts crying that Guido was coming on to her. Vico’s dad The boyfriend kicks Guido out while Vico’s mom smirks over his shoulder.
(I feel like it’s been established that Vico’s dad is not around, so possibly this is another guy her mom is cheating with? I don’t know. Per Guido and Vico’s conversation later in the episode, Vico’s dad has walked out and Vico’s mom is now going through an ever-revolving door of boyfriends.)
Ana complains to Tomás that she gets bored doing nothing in the cafeteria when everyone’s in class. You’d think she’d be happy to get away from these crazy kids, but I guess not. Tomás says he’s brought her something to keep her entertained: math homework! Ana geeks out over this, because her life is sad. She promises to get them done and then show him how the problems work. Uh, the point of tutoring is not to do their work for them, Ana.
Feli finds another present from her “admirer” in her locker. It’s yet more candy that she has to talk herself out of eating, so she runs to the classroom, only to find more candy on her desk, in her pencil case, etc. So then she tries to escape to Mia’s room, where there’s candy on her bed and on her other desk. Feli gives in and stuffs a chocolate in her mouth, while Pilar watches evilly from the doorway. Wow, this is fucked up. Why you gotta be like, this Pilar?
Guido sneaks back into the school just as Vico calls him. Conveniently, she’s hanging out right in the main hall (but somehow didn’t hear Guido’s phone go off this time, for contrivance purposes), so he tries to hide, but she sees him anyway. She’s not mad at all, and is about to ask if he’s okay when Tomás rolls up. Guido’s like, “Welp, I’m escaping this awkward conversation!” and runs off with Tomás. They skip the whole part where Guido has to say that his girlfriend’s mom came on to him, because I guess that would require actual emoting from the actors. Tomás, not understanding the finer points of date and/or statutory rape, is all confused as to why Guido didn’t pick up what Vico’s mom was putting down. Guido’s like, “Because I don’t want to cheat on my girlfriend, dumbass, especially not with her mom.” I never know what to do with myself when Guido’s the least douchey of his friends. Tomás wants to know why he was staying in Vico’s house anyway, and Guido mumbles that he’s just having familial problems.
Ana can’t find Tomás, so she asks Diego to deliver the finished math homework to him. Oh, Ana, you dumbass. She and Tomás deserve each other. Diego changes the answers and leaves them for Tomás. Poor dumb Tomás obviously doesn’t realize that they’re wrong, and chirps that now Sol will date him for sure!
Lola rants to Bianca about her sister and snaps that she’s going to get even with her. And Bianca’s going to help her! “Me?” Bianca deadpans. “How? I have no personality because I’ve only been in five minutes of each episode,” she doesn’t add. The decision to add more randos who aren’t in the main class to the cast confuses me, because it’s not like we don’t already have a fuckload of side characters who eat up a ton of time on the regular.
Vico sits Guido down and tells him they’re gonna have a talk about his weird behavior. How do these two currently have the most mature relationship so far? He vagues up his explanation enough so that it doesn’t explicitly sound like “I’m a dick and hate that my parents work for a living,” but it’s close enough to the truth that Vico accepts it. She rants that all families are the same, and says her dad and brother peaced out on her (I was like, “Her brother? OH RIGHT, AUGUSTO.” Lmao he was so forgettable). Her mom is the only person she has contact with, and Guido’s seen how that relationship goes. He tells Vico that her mom seems to be trying to compete with her, but she’ll never win. Vico appreciates that, and is like, “Haha, it was so funny, when I saw you in her room I thought you guys were like, about to have sex! CRAZY, RIGHT?” Guido’s like, “Yikes.”
Andres calls Papa C to update him about how they…still have no idea where Mia and Manuel are. But it’s okay, because they have Dunoff working on it now, and he has total faith in Dunoff’s competence! Meanwhile, Mia and Manuel are on that random bartender’s boat, which is apparently a rowboat, because sure, that’s safe. They row to some beach and like a dumbass, Manuel doesn’t tie the boat properly. They run off to go make out some more, and the boat floats out to sea. And that’s why you don’t lend your boat to teenagers.
Papa B somehow has control of Mama B’s email, and he receives Pablo’s email to her. “I’ll tell you why, Pablo,” he snarls at the computer. He sends back a super passive-aggressive email about how Mama B is truly happy for the first time in her life now that she’s away from her family. Pablo’s place is in Argentina, with his dad, while Mama B belongs on the other side of the ocean. She hopes they can meet again someday, but she’s not going to put too much effort into it. “Mama B” is all like, “Peace out, my son, and remember that your father is the superior parent.” Pablo puts his head down and cries. Marizza comes by and tries to comfort him again, and instead they just…stare at each other. Back and forth. For like thirty seconds.
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