No opening monologue today! Instead, we roll right into a whole bunch of bizarre non-sequiturs and sexual tension, as usual.
When we last left our heroes, Pablo and Guido were…standing around in their underwear, slapping Tomás with towels? Wait, no, that has nothing to do with where we left off at all. What the fuck? Anyway, they’re trying to get Tomás up, as he’s curled up in bed crying over his failing grades. Poor dumb Tomás. He snaps at them that this is part of the curse Marizza’s friend put on them. Guido’s all like, “You mentioned witchcraft, we must salt the earth we stand on!” Pablo, meanwhile, rolls his eyes. But when they go to the take showers, the water turns scalding, and they run out naked in the middle of the bathroom. An excellent time for Simon to come in with his camera! All the other guys see them as well and start laughing. Guido’s like, “Witchcraft is real!”
Pilar is in the office, arguing with Mama D. Mama D found out that Pilar was the one who passed out the exam, although she won’t tell Pilar who snitched. Pilar’s like, “So it was Luna.” Heh. Mama D says Pilar is clearly incredibly messed up, and she promises to help her. But first, she thinks they should expel Pilar. Dunoff’s like, “But the scandal!”
All the adults gather in Papa C’s office to be immature and exchange snipes. Sonia’s wearing a shirt that makes her look bizarrely nipply. Anyway, Chiche’s brought along his plans for the quince, and he wants to charge Papa C hella money. Papa C’s like, “I mean, this is basically just a birthday party.” Chiche’s like, “How very dare!” and storms out, and Sonia makes Papa C go after him — which leaves her and Mercedes alone, which goes about as well as you’d expect. Mercedes tells Sonia that Papa C is never going to be hers, and Sonia’s like, “Fine by me, but he doesn’t love you either, FYI.” Mercedes is like, “I hope you remember this little chat when me and Papa C get married,” and Sonia’s like, “Oh, honey, that’s not happening.”
By the way, this whole quince business made me realize that Marizza and Mia are both fourteen. Wow, everything about their interactions with men is 1000x more uncomfortable now.
Tomás, Guido, and Pablo tattle to Blas, but when they check the faucets, everything is working fine ago. “Maybe they were bewitched,” Guido says. Even Tomás seems to think that’s stupid.
Pablo calls Papa B’s secretary and asks her about that visitor Papa B supposedly sent. Meanwhile, Marizza’s emoing on some bench, and Simon swings by to hit on her. Does Simon not have a job? I mean, I know he’s technically the school photographer, but that can’t be all the time. Marizza complains to Simon about Pablo always running to Papa B for help, and Simon’s like, “Maybe this embarrassing photo I took of him will make you feel better!” Marizza’s like, “That does make me feel better!” Simon’s like, “Why don’t you blow off class and let me creep on you,” and Marizza’s like, “For sure.” Pablo’s like, “Where are they going? What are they talking about? I MUST KNOW!!!” Sadly, he doesn’t get the opportunity to stalk Marizza, as Tomás and Guido come back to class. They freak out to him that they’re cursed, and soon Pablo’s going to believe it.
Simon takes Marizza to the one computer in the lounge. They eat Gogurt together and plot against Pablo. Marizza prints out the photo of Pablo while cackling that she’s going to make him suffer more. Simon’s like, “You two are kind of obsessed with each other.” Marizza finally tells him about Pablo’s fake amnesia and the bet, and Simon’s all sympathetic. Whatever. Given how he treats Feli, he’s only being nice to Marizza because he wants to get into her pants. Then Pablo rocks up and demands that Simon give him the roll of film that has his picture on it, and Simon’s like, “Well, this is a digital camera, so it doesn’t use film.” The future is now! He deletes the photo, but of course Marizza already has a copy. Then they waltz off together, leaving Pablo in the dust.
Pilar jumps Luna and starts beating her up for being a snitch. Lujan walks in and she’s like, “The only one who gets to beat up Luna is me!” Pilar leaves and runs into Feli in the hall. Feli’s like, “Omg, you hate Luna? I also hate Luna!” They decide that they must destroy her.
Tomás and Guido ask Marizza about Debora, and she spins them a story about how she’s not a witch, but she does have immense power. She’s a friend of Sonia’s, and Sonia told her everything about Marizza and Pablo’s love drama. “I don’t believe in all that, but she does kind of scare me,” Marizza says. Tomás and Guido are all shaking in their boots.
Mansilla asks Hilario if he’s married, and Hilario says that he’s separating from his wife this very minute. He’s like, “The moment I saw my college girlfriend again, I realized several decades of marriage and children meant nothing to me!” Mansilla’s like, “That’s beautiful.” Hilario’s discouraged because Hilda shut down his romantic gesture and told him that she wasn’t interested, but Mansilla’s like, “‘No’ is such an ambiguous word!” Hilario thanks him for his efforts and says la familia Mansilla must be very lucky to have him, and Mansilla’s like, “Actually, they died in a car accident of which I’m the only survivor so…maybe not.” Hilario’s like, awkward. He tells Mansilla he has to make a family so he won’t be lonely. Maybe he can hook up with that math teacher who hates him! (Just kidding, he doesn’t say that, but it’s implied.)
Simon finally gets around to taking pictures of a student other than Marizza. His next victim is Manuel, who sees Simon’s motorcycle and is all twitterpated over it. I can’t believe they remembered Manuel’s motorcycle, but not his tiny lisping sister. While they’re stroking their boners to the bike, Blas comes out talking to someone on his phone. He’s being all shady about money, as usual. He drives off, and Manuel’s like, “Ugh, if only I could follow him!” Simon’s like, “Hey, I feel a bond between us, on account of us both being stalkers and all. Wanna take my bike?” Manuel follows Blas, and sees him leave some building called “International Financial City.” (All in English, helpfully.)
Marizza, Lujan, and Luna discuss Marizza’s revenge. Marizza says she’s going to orchestrate a meeting between the boys and “Debora” eventually, but first she has to find a Debora. Luna isn’t entirely enthused by the conversation and wanders off to go be a sadsack somewhere else.
Mia considers making Luna her #3 minion at her quince, and Feli shuts the idea down. She tells them that Luna snitched about the tests, and Mia and Vico both defend her. They both get mad at Feli for trying to besmirch Luna’s honor. In revenge, Feli crosses out Luna’s name on the invitation list…with pencil, over marker. So you can barely tell it’s meant to be crossed out. I don’t know what she’s trying to accomplish. (I mean, I do, but you’d think she’d be sneakier about it.)
Pablo sits Tomás down and explains to him, very slowly, that witchcraft is not real. HEE. Tomás is like, “No, Marizza told us everything! Debora is real!” “You can’t be that stupid,” Pablo says. You sure, Pablo? Then Gloria comes in and tells them that they’re in trouble with Dunoff. Marizza’s made a fake edition of the newspaper and…put the picture of Pablo, Guido, and Tomás in it? And that somehow made Dunoff think that they were lying about the water heat? It’s not clear. Does he think they took the photo themselves? I don’t know. Anyway, then Papa B shows up, and Marizza’s also captioned the photo with a snarky remark about Papa B’s political campaign. Papa B is not happy at all. (Gloria’s the one who points this out to Papa B. She’s such a tattletale.)
Vico promises to protect Guido from the curse, and he’s like, “You’re so hot when you’re indulging my belief in witches.” They run off to make out. Elsewhere in the cafeteria, Feli tells Pilar about how she disinvited Luna from the party. Sure, as long as Mia doesn’t like…ever look at the list again and notice Luna’s name has been crossed off. Then Marizza storms in and starts beating Pilar up for messing with Luna, and then she tries to pin the fake newspaper on her. I mean…Pilar didn’t even know about the photo, so how could she have had anything to do with it? That fact flies over everyone’s head. Papa B drags Pablo in and is like, “You said the photo was Marizza’s fault!” Marizza’s like, “I would never, I know how important your image is. You’re a public figure, kinda like my mom.” “I’m just like your mom,” Papa B says. HA! Papa B yells at Pilar that if the photo gets out, she’s going to be wearing a cement overcoat, then he takes a swing at Pablo. Everyone in the cafeteria starts laughing all, “Abuse is hilarious!” There is something deeply wrong with the students of Elite Way.
“Please stop laughing at my abusive home life, guys.”
Mansilla calls Hilda in to talk about the behavior grades. What’s to talk about? Everyone at this school would fail, except maybe Luna. He chirps that they’re trying a new thing where the teachers discuss the grades in pairs. And what a coincidence, Hilda’s partner is Hilario! Mansilla’s like, “I’ll just leave you two alone! Now kiss!” Hilda snaps that she doesn’t want to work with Hilario and storms out.
Manuel comes back to school, and is late to chem/physics class. Naturally, the only available seat is next to Mia. Their job is to like…touch something in a bag and describe the texture. How is this related to chemistry? Maybe this is suddenly a physiology class. He needles Mia as they do the project (“It has…sort of hairy threads…much like the facial hair of my project partner…”), until Blas comes in and tries to pull Mia out of class. The chem/physics teacher shuts him down, bless her. Manuel asks Mia if she knew what Blas was up to this morning. Maybe she should ask him! I swear to God, they do this every time Manuel witnesses Blas doing something suspicious. He volunteers to do the rest of the experiment if she asks Blas, so she does.
Etchamendi rolls up to the school. Renata thinks that he’s there for Mansilla’s project, but he doesn’t know a thing about that. He’s actually there on account of Pilar being a human disaster. Etchamendi and Dunoff walk off, and Renata goes to yell at Mansilla some more about the project. He finally snaps that he is working on a project, but it has nothing to do with her, so she should chill. “You’re so paranoid,” he tells her. Heh. He’s like, “Why are you so obsessed with me? Is it ’cause you feel the UST here?” Also heh.
Mia goes to see Blas. He asks if she’s having a problem in biology class, which you’ll recall was chemistry class 50 episodes ago. Anyway, Mia tells Blas that Manuel told her something unsavory about him. “Again?” Blas asks. Hee. I mean, he has a point. He tells her that he went to the bank, and Mia pouts that he didn’t tell her. Blas is like, “I have to tell you every time I want to run to the bank?” I hate that I’m agreeing with him here. Then he distracts her with some flowers that he bought. Aw, man, he totally has her number. Blas tells Mia not to worry about Manuel; if everything works out, he’ll be giving her Manuel’s head on a platter for her birthday.
“I have totally forgotten about all your shady dealings!”
Etchamendi tells the padres Dunoff that normally, the punishment for cheating would be expulsion, but since Dunoff’s sucked so much school board dick, they’re willing to just suspend Pilar for a week. Pilar tells Feli that getting Luna uninvited from the quince isn’t enough; they must be rid of her FOREVER!
Pablo confronts Marizza about putting the photo in the newspaper, and she denies it. She gets all emo about how she doesn’t even want revenge on him, and she just wants to forget about him because he really hurt her. It’s meant to be all emotional, but…she’s lying? She totally is getting revenge on him? Whatever. Anyway, Marizza goes to hang out with Simon, and he sympathizes with her some more. Then Pablo rolls up to confront him, and they start fighting. Sonia rolls up and she’s like, “Whatever, this is normal.”
Chiche comes to the school and tells Mia that since Papa C doesn’t want to pay for him, he won’t be planning the party anymore. Mia flips out and makes Papa C come to the school. Coincidentally, they all run into Sonia and Marizza. Papa C says paying for Chiche to plan the party is ridiculous, and Marizza’s like, “Right? I’m saying!” Hee. I love that they’re showing similarities between Marizza and Papa C now, not just Mia and Sonia. Papa C and Sonia start fighting over the party, again, some more. Sonia and Mia eventually get their way, and Chiche stays on. That was pointless.
Renata suggests to Gloria that Mansilla might be angling to give someone else her job. Gloria’s like, “How very dare, no one can be passive-aggressively mean to teenagers like I can!” Renata advises her to keep an eye on Mansilla and report back to Renata, so she can do damage control. Heh. Renata is sneaky.
Nico pops up forty minutes into the episode to reassure Luna that he’ll defend her against Pilar. Luna says she wants to clear everything up with Feli, like she thinks that’s going to help. She finds her in the bathroom, and she’s all, “I bet you’re throwing up! Open the door!!!!” Uh, what if she’s just using the toilet, Luna? Feli yells at Luna to stop meddling, and Luna’s like, “I will never stop meddling!” Then Mia comes in and Luna tells her that Feli was making herself throw up. Mia’s all upset, and Feli tells them both to leave her alone.
Marizza and Lujan come into the cafeteria, and Marizza looks around for Simon. Lujan’s like, “Oooh, you liiiiike him.” Dammit, Lujan. Since when was she going around shipping her classmates anyway?
Pilar tells Feli she’s come up with a way to get rid of Luna. She’s forged a letter from Luna’s mom, telling her that Flor is sick and that she needs to come home right away. Feli hesitates: since Luna is a scholarship student, she’ll get expelled if she leaves without permission. Pilar’s like, “Uh, what did you think ‘getting rid of her forever’ meant?”
Manuel tells Papa C about Blas’s trip to the International Financial City, and Papa C says he’ll investigate. Meanwhile, he sends Manuel to help plan the quince in his place. Mia wants the most expensive options for the invitations, even though Manuel tries to shut her down. Chiche sends her off to get the invite list, and Manuel tells Chiche that if he doesn’t do what Manuel says, there won’t be a party and he’ll lose Papa C as a client. I get that Papa C doesn’t want to spend that much money on the party, but why you gotta be so threatening, Manuel?
Blas’s shady background checker calls him back and tells him that Papa Aguirre was involved in business with Papa C. But that’s all he knows, and Blas would have to go to Mexico to find out more. Blas is like, “Why not, it’s not like I have a real job anyway.”
Sonia goes looking for Marizza, and sees her laughing with Simon. Love yourself, Marizza. Then Pablo comes up looking for her, and Sonia snipes at him that she won’t tell him, because Marizza’s off with her new boyfriend, totally forgetting about Pablo. Pablo sees Simon leave, and runs over to Marizza. It’s very dramatic and slow-mo for like five seconds, then goes back to normal. He tells her that she can’t go out with Simon, because he loves her. Aw. I’m kind of pleased that he just came out and said it, instead of dragging it out around some BS excuse for another hundred episodes. He kisses her. Also aw! Dammit, I miss them together 🙁
Man this episode was boring. I wasted a perfectly good Monty Python title on it.
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