So like, I’m lazy as shit and I’ve never willingly run anywhere in my life, but I feel like this is what a marathon is like? Like, I’m looking at the episode number going shit, I only have twenty more episodes left! I’m gonna make it! i’M GONNA MAKE IT! Then I actually look at the number 139 (the last episode in season one), and I’m like…goddamn that’s far away. So close! Yet so far!
…and I still have 179 episodes in season two, plus a movie. HA. HAHAHAHAHA.
Opening monologue: Sometimes we’re happy, and sometimes we’re sad. And sadness leads to anger, which leads to hate, which leads to suffering…or something.
When we last left our heroes, Manuel was mad at Mia, so she grabbed him and stuck her tongue down his throat to shut him up. Now you know how it feels, Manuel! Then she’s like, “That was to show you that I feel nothing for you!” What? Manuel’s like, “I kissed you back to prove that I, too, feel nothing for you!” I don’t think these two know how it works. He snaps that making out with him isn’t going to make him forgive her, and unlike Blas, he’s not into shallow underage girls. Mia’s all hurt and stalks out.
Meanwhile, Sonia’s fallen asleep on Papa C, and he’s all twitterpated. He starts monologuing out loud about how she’s crazy but he hella wants to make out with her, and naturally Sonia wakes up and hears it. She pretends not to be awake, and then! And then! Papa C leans over and kisses her while he thinks she’s asleep! Ick. The kiss goes on for fucking ever. I wonder if Sonia’s kissing back or if Papa C’s just like, tonguing her mouth while she pretends to be unconscious. Romantic!
Pablo and Guido are emoing over their girl troubles. I hate to say it, but this isn’t even Guido’s fault, for once. Then like their whole class sneaks in to have a secret party celebrating Guido’s return. What? Since when did any of them even like Guido? They are remembering like…his personality, right? Guido’s all happy that the attention’s on him, but Pablo gets mad and storms out.
Mia and Feli aren’t at the party, because they’re still trying to (literally) drag Vico there. Mia’s like, “That party is the only thing that can distract me from my problems!” and Vico and Feli immediately want to know what she’s talking about. “Problems with Blas?” Feli asks. Avril Lavigne kicks up in the background as Mia sighs: “It wasn’t Blas. It was Manuel.” Complicated, indeed! Mia cries to them that Manuel said she’s plastic and doesn’t have feelings, and she totally has feelings. Vico bitters that all men are garbage. Hee. I love man-hating Vico and I wish she was around more often. Guido comes in and explains that the poem he wrote was for Tomás, because he wants to break up with Pilar. Mia’s all, “Omg, really?!” Oh, boy. I bet spilling that in front of Mia and Feli won’t blow up in Guido’s face at all.
Renata departs for the night, and Mansilla blusters that he has to stick around and gather his stuff before he can go. She says she’ll wait for him, and he very obviously tries to blow her off. Sure, that’s not suspicious at all.
Sonia and Papa C finally make it back to Buenos Aires. Papa C whines about how his ankle hurts; Sonia berates him for being a baby, blah blah blah. He tells her that he’s come around to her way of thinking, and he’ll let Mia have her party and hang out with whoever she wants. Including her pedophile boyfriend? Jesus, Papa C. Anyway, Sonia gets all huffy that Papa C hasn’t offered her coffee, and needles him into making some for her, for no reason other than to bend him to her will. Then she tells him that she had a horrible dream that an ugly guy was making out with her, blah blah making fun of Papa C’s ego blah. He spills coffee over himself in his offense, and then Sonia tries to wipe it off, and they fight while she tries to wipe him down. It is, like all of their interactions, obnoxious and boring at the same time. Then Mercedes walks in on Sonia trying to pat down Papa C’s crotch area, and of course comes to the wrong conclusion.
Pablo is sadly playing his guitar in the sad trailer. SO MUCH SADNESS. He leaves for a minute (for no reason apart from contrivance) and Marizza shows up. She tells Pepa she’d rather stay in the sad trailer for a while, instead of going back to her room and dealing with questions from Lujan and Luna. What a coincidence! Pablo comes back in and sees her crying and stroking his guitar (which sounds like a euphamism, but it’s not). He tells her that he did get together with her because of the bet, but then he really fell in love with her. Marizza refuses to forgive him, unsurprisingly. Yeah, you’re gonna have to work harder than that, Pablo. Even Heath Ledger had to publicly serenade Julia Stiles and buy her a guitar. Marizza says she’ll be fine, because “Debora” is going to help her. Pablo’s like, “Who?” I am also like, “Who?”
In Pablo’s room, everyone’s getting down to “Toma que toma.” I screamed in horror because my Spanish teacher made us do a dance to this song, in Spanish 1. Manuel is all up on Fernanda, and Mia gets pissed and leaves. Guido gets up and says he’s going to perform a song for them, which Tomás wrote for Pilar. It’s really mean, and ends with everyone chanting “Go away!” at Pilar, even Marcos. Dang, Marcos, one makeover and he’s joined the plastics. Tomás tries to stop Pilar from leaving, but she runs away. Aaaand there goes Tomás’s chance of escaping summer school. Mia, meanwhile, has run into Marizza in the hall, and she goes back to the party to tell everyone Marizza’s back. Luna and Lujan run off to rejoin their lady love, leaving Nico and Marcos in the dust. Heh.
Marizza cries to Luna and Lujan about Pablo, and they tell her to move on and forget him. Well, Luna does. Lujan’s like, “No, you must get revenge before you can move on!” That’s the Lujan I know and love. Marizza crazy-eyes at them that she already has a plan for vengeance.
Mansilla goes back to Gloria’s desk to use her computer. Dudes, even when I was in kindergarten, in 1998, we had a computer lab. We had like, five Macintosh IIs that ran Word, Oregon Trail, and Reader Rabbit, but it was still better than Elite Way. Anyway, Renata storms in and accuses him of working on an educational project (seriously, why is that supposed to be scandalous?), and he cottons on that she already looked through his secret floppy disk. He calls her out on going through his stuff, and she snips that all’s fair in love and war. “Oh, is there love going on here?” he asks. Heh. She accuses him of wanting to present the project solo to cut her out of the dean position, and storms out.
Pilar drags Dunoff out of bed to bust everyone partying in Pablo’s room. Oh, Pilar. Dunoff walks in on everyone slow-dancing, and he’s like, “Bodily contact between teenagers! QUELLE HORREUR!” He yells at all of them that they’re going to be in trouble, and they’re going to be under stricter supervision. Supervision? At this school? Don’t make me laugh, Dunoff. Although, in fairness, I bet finding out that Mia was hanging out with Manuel will make Blas stalkier than ever.
The next day. Tomás and Pablo are bummed over their girl problems, and Guido is, of course, totally unhelpful. They eavesdrop as Luna and Lujan come in, talking loudly about Marizza’s new friend, “Debora.” Pablo grabs Luna and asks for Debora’s number, so she can tell Marizza to forgive him. Luna says that Debora’s not quite that kind of friend. “Do you believe in witches?” she asks. Pablo and Guido totally do!
Mercedes and Papa C fight about Sonia, again, some more. I’m so bored of them, you guys.
Dunoff tries to get Mama D to resign, again. She refuses, again. Then Pilar comes in, crying over Tomás. “What did he do?” Dunoff asks. Uh-oh. Poor dumb Tomás.
Blas is all pissy that Mia went to Guido’s party with Manuel. He gets even pissier when she’s like, “Maybe you shouldn’t make him repeat sophomore year.” He’s like, “How very dare! That is a totally proportionate punishment for what he’s done!” Then Papa C and Manuel show up. They’re super passive-aggressive about how nice Blas and Mia look together, and it flies right over Blas’s head. “That went well,” he derps.
In the teachers’ lounge, Hilda is giving Mansilla the cold shoulder. He’s all like, “I was just trying to fix your life without your permission! IS THAT SO WRONG?” Hilda’s like, “Maybe I didn’t want to be serenaded by my teenage students and my married ex-boyfriend in the middle of the night,” and Mansilla’s like, “No way, that was super romantic.” Heh. Hilda points out that Hilario is still married, and Mansilla’s like, “…oh. Well, that kills my boner a little.” “Before you mess with destiny, dig a little deeper,” Hilda advises him. Burn, Mansilla.
Papa C and Manuel have a moment. Papa C wants Manuel to keep stalking Mia, but Manuel’s like, “The UST is too strong, man.” Just kidding, but he is very emo as he refuses. Papa C is all sympathetic and tells Manuel that he’s like the son Papa C never had, and he wants Manuel to look after Mia like she’s his little sister. Manuel’s like, “This is getting a little too Flowers in the Attic-y, but okay.”
Meanwhile, everyone else is in math class. I guess Manuel is just skipping. You know, if he gets left behind a year, I’m not sure it would be entirely Blas’s fault. Anyway, Gloria comes in and says Papa B’s sent someone to see Pablo. This someone is a teenage girl wearing a crop top, so obviously Pablo is all twitterpated. She gives him a present from Papa B, as a thanks for Pablo helping with his campaign. While he’s distracted, Marizza turns around and dumps white-out all over Pablo’s quiz. I’m ashamed of Renata for not being enough of a mean teacher to catch her. When Pablo comes back and flips out, Renata doesn’t believe that his answers have been erased. I mean, the white-out still looks wet. He can’t just wipe it off?
Papa C goes to see Blas in the teachers’ lounge. Blas is like, “I just want to tell you that my intentions towards your daughter are completely honorable.” No, they’re not. I hate him. Papa C gives Blas a form signed by Dunoff, saying that Manuel is going to be working for Papa C after school, so he can’t hang around and do Blas’s chores. Hee! It’s not as good as getting Blas fired for statutory rape, but since I’ve accepted that that’s never happening, I have to take what I can get.
Mama D finds all the kids in the cafeteria, and asks them if they stole the English exams ahead of time. I forget how she found out, but whatever. She promises them that they won’t get in trouble, and sadly says she just wants to know if she’s a bad enough teacher that someone was stealing her tests. Feli caves and admits that they had copies of the test, but won’t say who gave it to them. The rest of the kids look suitably shamefaced. Aw. Mama D doesn’t deserve this. The camera lingers on a shot of Luna looking sad, and then immediately cuts to…
…Luna and Lujan, smiling while running out to talk to Marizza about her revenge. Oh. I guess Luna didn’t feel that bad, then. They all squeal about how Pablo might not believe in witches, but he will soon. Then Simon shows up. I swear to God, Marizza’s weird tertiary suitors are like whack-a-moles. The second we got rid of Facundo, Simon popped up. He’s just doing some drive-by creeping — he remarks that he’s proud of Marizza for coming back to school, and he likes strong women, if she knows what he means. Then he walks off. Marizza is all twitterpated. Please love yourself, Marizza.
The gift from “Papa B” turns out to be a warning that bad things are about to start happening to Pablo. Guido and Tomás start freaking out about how it must be witchcraft, like how his test was messed up! Pablo’s like, “No, that was obviously Marizza.” Heh.
Blas tells Mia about how Papa C and Manuel are cockblocking him, and Mia storms off to go yell at them. She thinks that Manuel is hanging around their house to spy on her, and Manuel snarks that she’s not the center of his universe. Then Sonia and Chiche show up, and Sonia tries to calm Mia down: “Have you heard the good news?” “The Mexican is going to be deported?” Mia asks. Is Mia suddenly the president of my country? Sonia tells her that Papa C has agreed to help with the party.
Dunoff calls Tomás to the office, and tells him that his behavior grade is a 2. “Isn’t that a little low?” Tomás derps. Dunoff’s like, “I don’t know, was the way you treated Pilar a little low?” He suggests that if Tomás wants to bring his grade up, he should try to be nicer to the Dunoffs. Heh. Poor Tomás. He can check out of Hotel Pilar, but he can never leave.
Luna feels bad for Mama D, so she goes and tells her that it was Pilar who gave them the tests. She’s like, “There’s still good in her, I can feel it!”
Blas calls someone asking them to investigate Manuel’s background, particularly any connection between the Aguirres and Coluccis. Whatever, he didn’t turn up anything when he tried it with Mansilla.
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