Friends, Romans, countrymen! I was away with no Internet for a week, and thus, I got to spend a whole week free of these kids and their wacky shenanigans. It was pretty rough, I won’t lie. But I’m back now, and thus the saga of all these teenagers with too much time on their hands continues.
Opening monologue: There’s no understanding love, it just shows up and messes up your life, and drags out telenovela plots for hundreds of episodes.
When we return to our heroes, Mia is leaving to go shopping with Mercedes, Papa C, and Manuel. She’s already sworn to Vico that she’s going to try to annoy Mercedes as much as possible, and she starts off by needling Mercedes’s clothes and choice of locations. In fact, Mia’s decided that she wants to hold her quince right here, in the school! It’s the most convenient place for plot contrivances! “But this place is horrible!” Mercedes says. Heh. I mean, she’s not wrong.
Luna goes into the bathroom, and conveniently overhears Feli throwing up in one of the stalls. Feli catches her and accuses her of spying, and threatens her that she wants Luna to leave the school, and she has the ~power to make it happen. Whatever, Feli.
Guido is still mopping floors at the police station. Mansilla finds him and says he’s found a way to get Guido back into school — well, two ways, actually. The first way involves talking to his dad. Guido’s like, “That’s never gonna work. Next?” Mansilla warns him that the other option will involve lots of sacrifice. Apparently, this sacrifice is…talking to Dunoff. Fair enough. Mansilla says that Guido won’t be coming back to school as a student, he’ll be back as an employee. Just then, Sandra bursts in, chirping that she needs a new assistant. I fail to see the point of this. Just send him to public school!
Hilario tries to talk to Hilda about the flowers, and suggests that they stay in touch and be friends. Hilda’s like, “I want your love, I don’t want to be friends! (I DON’T WANNA BE FRIIIIIIEEEEENDS — anyway).”
Marizza and Facundo are putt-putting along in his sad car, when they get pulled over by the “police” (read: Pablo’s hired guy, the Rat, and his friend). They let them go on the car, but then they pull out Facundo’s guitar and they’re like, “What is this tomfoolery?” I guess, if you squint, it does look like a very large bong.
Anyway, they don’t believe that it’s a guitar, or that Facundo plays in a rock band (I guess I can see their reasoning on that one), and they start tearing apart the car for drugs. Then they want to see the receipt for the guitar. Marizza not-at-all subtly gets close to the Rat and overhears him having a suspicious conversation on the phone. Then she jacks the phone, possibly with even less subtlety than before. Man, if Papa B knew about this, the Rat would be wearing a cement overcoat right now. She’s all, “I know this number!” and writes it down (I’m assuming it’s Pablo’s), but then she washes it off later, so who cares.
In the cafeteria, Nico and Luna are being all coupley. Feli comes in and crazies over Luna some more, and Nico’s like, “Whoa, what’s her damage?” But Luna has bigger problems: Lujan comes in and points out that Sandra’s emoing in the corner and, ever the martyr, Luna has to go swoop in and stroke her grown-ass aunt’s ego. She apologizes to her for not realizing that Sandra’s meddling was for the greater good (the greater good!), and Sandra apologizes for said meddling. The speech kinda reminds me of the 1951 Scrooge — I say kinda because I’m sure no one on this show is aware of that movie, much less is consciously ripping it off.
Sandra puts Guido to work scrubbing the floors. Vico comes into the cafeteria and is all twitterpated to see him back in school. They roll around on the floor and have a happy chuckle at being reunited. Oh, Vico, you can do better than this. Then everyone comes into the cafeteria and is all excited that Guido’s back, and he’s forced to reveal that he’s working in the cafeteria, because Mansilla somehow thinks that’s better than him going to another school.
Music montage of Mia torturing Mercedes on their shopping trip, set to the Ketchup Song. Just in case you were wondering if they ever played anything else besides Avril Lavigne anymore.
Mansilla meets with Papa Guido, and tells him that he’s the only one that can initiate the legal process to get Guido back into Elite Way. Seriously, they need lawyers for this? Papa Guido’s like, “Pfft, my son doesn’t need to finish high school!”
Facundo and Marizza return to school, bizarrely without ever resolving what happened to the car. I mean, they could’ve shown us how that scene ended, just saying. Ha, just kidding, this is Rebelde Way, and actually ending scenes properly is verboten. Facundo kind of alludes to them fucking the car up in some way, and Marizza comforts him. Pablo, watching them from across the cafeteria, is like, “She’s being nice and understanding? That is not how this was supposed to go!” In fairness to him, that’s an outcome nobody could’ve predicted.
At the mall, Mia tricks Mercedes into handing over her purse, and she stuffs a bunch of dresses into it before booking it out of there with Manuel. Mercedes gets busted for shoplifting.
Papa Provenza swings by, much less approving of Nico and Luna now that he knows Luna isn’t Jewish. Except then Nico lies to him and tells him that Luna is Jewish. This can only end well!
Meanwhile, Marizza and Facundo make out in the cupboard under the stairs, to the strains of Avril Lavigne. “I can’t believe I’m here with you,” Facundo derps. Me either, Facundo. You’re barely a tertiary character. But lest he get to second base with her, Guido busts in on them, on Pablo’s orders. “I brought you guys some snacks! Am I interrupting something?” he chirps. Hee.
In class, Hilda tells them that she’s caught someone using a cheat sheet. She accuses Marcos, and Marizza immediately leaps to his defense. Marcos, though, willingly takes the blame. Well, Lujan should be pleased by this. We all know throwing himself on the pyre is like, Marcos’s ultimate expression of love. Diego happily lets Marcos take the blame and Lujan’s like, “Omg, Diego is a douchebag, who would have guessed!” Anyway, Hilda tells them that it doesn’t matter, since they all failed anyway. Everyone’s all shocked, for some reason, like their total lack of studying had no effect here. Vico in particular is pissed, and Hilda kicks her out of the class.
Hilario comes back to Mansilla, needing him to fix his emotional problems again. He’s like, “What shall I do about Hilda? She doesn’t even want to see me!” Mansilla’s like, “Well, maybe you should respect that and back off.” Ha, just kidding! He’s like, “Don’t worry, you’re the only guy in her age bracket on this show, thus you are meant2b!” Then Dunoff comes storming in, brandishing a letter from Papa Guido’s lawyer, asking them to review Guido’s expulsion. Mansilla’s all pleased, and tells Hilario that there’s always a way. “Siempre se puede,” he tells him. Yes, we can!
Vico goes to the cafeteria to rant to Sandra about Hilda kicking her out of class. Sandra’s like, “That’s sad, I guess. What grade did Luna get?” Heh. Vico says Luna failed too, and Sandra’s like, “How very dare!” She storms off, and Guido swoops in to comfort Vico. Vico yells at him for lying to her about his return to school, and chews him out for telling lies to try and please everyone. He should just be himself! Since when was Vico the voice of reason here? Anyway, Sandra gets Mansilla involved, and Vico tells him that Hilda failed them all because she’s mad at them over the flowers. Mansilla’s like, “Oops, my bad.”
Luna needles Tomás about how his cheat sheet must have really fucked up the test for him. Tomás, God love him, chirps that there’s no way the cheat sheet was bad — she was the one who made it, after all. Luna’s like, “Do I have to spell it out for you? I fucked up the test ON PURPOSE.” Tomás is like, “Oh. Can we still go out?” HEE. Luna chirps that she’s back with Nico now, and they’re super happy together. Tomás looks confused by this, as he does by all things.
Papa C rants to Peter about how Mia’s mean to Mercedes, and Peter’s like, “Well, this party is really important to Mia. She hasn’t thought about anything else in two years!” Wow, really, because she only brought it up like three episodes ago. Anyway, Papa C’s like, “You have given me an idea!” and Peter’s like, “You’re not gonna make her hang out with the woman she hates?” and Papa C’s like, “Pfft, no. The party will be canceled!”
Luna pulls Mia aside and they finally, finally figure out that Feli has an eating disorder. They decide that they have to do something, and call Feli’s mom. The one that she hates? That will end well.
Marizza calls Sonia and asks her to find out about the fake police. Then Pablo comes in to the cafeteria and he’s like, “I heard you need a car!” Marizza’s all suspicious that he suddenly wants to race with her, and he BSes that he wants to put Simon in his place. Then, to top it off, he needles Marizza about punking out of the race, and she grouses that she’ll race with him. Heh. He totally has her number (although so does everyone else in the school, at this point).
Lujan beats Diego up over the cheat sheet. Marcos swings by and is like, “So I kind of saved you back there, right?” Lujan snips that he was bailing out Marizza, not her, and Marcos is like, “No, I have transferred my affections to you! Your violent personality is a turn-on!” She storms off and Nico pops up: “Are you talking to yourself?” Hee.
Meanwhile, Vico helps Guido study. He whines about how much work they have, and Vico delivers the funniest line I’ve heard so far: “You realize we go to a really demanding school, right?” HA! HAHAHAHA! Oh, show, you are too much. Guido’s like, “I don’t understand why you’re doing all of this for me.” Me either, dude. Me either.
Lujan gives Manuel all the dirt she has on Blas. “Good luck,” she says, giving him a big ol’ kiss on the cheek and wiggling his ears. “You’re scaring me,” Manuel says. Heh.
Renata tells Nico and Luna that, after being browbeaten by a bunch of teenagers and Mansilla, the Math Olympics are no longer mandatory. She offers them the opportunity to back out, and Nico and Luna are all conflicted. Why, they have to be doing math homework to make out? They can’t get together on their own time? It’s unclear. Anyway, she goes to announce to the class that they’re getting their soccer/dance classes back, although they don’t have a teacher yet. Mansilla’s like, “Ooh, pick me, I have a music teacher lined up!” Sorry, I didn’t realize that teaching music also meant Hilario was a dance teacher? I’m afraid he’s gonna break his hip. Anyway, he fetches Hilario and Hilda’s all shocked and appalled.
Papa C comes to the school to yell at Mia for making Mercedes look like a thief, and Manuel for not stopping her. He tells her that the party is off, and Mia flips out. Back at Casa Colucci, Luca tells Papa C that he’s giving up the job in Spain to stay with Sonia. But…but…how are they gonna break up now? Obviously Papa C doesn’t approve, but Luca insists: “Sonia is the woman of my life.” Oh, Luca. She so totally isn’t.
In the cafeteria, Marizza and Lujan wonder if Hilario knows any Pink songs. Heh. It’s been a while since I used the early 2000s tag. Then Simon rocks in, because this school has no security whatsoever. He suggests to Marizza that they race for money, not just for honor or whatever. Marizza, who I’m starting to think is actually physically incapable of backing down from a challenge, accepts. Marizza calls Pablo to tell him about it, and realizes that his number is the same one she saw on the Rat’s phone. Dun dun dun!
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