Opening monologue: Being young means we have the future in our hands. The world depends on us! The world depends on these kids? That’s terrifying.
When we last left our dubious heroes, Mia was shrieking “No puede ser!” at Mauricio, their contact with the record label. Manuel’s like, “Whoa, what’s going on? Is the future of our band, the very main plot of this show, hanging the balance?” Mia decides not to tell him, to string the drama out a little longer. After all, you know what’s more important than the cliffhanger they left us dangling on since the last episode? Literally everything. It takes them like half the episode (twenty minutes) to get back to this point.
Lujan and Marizza tie Hilda up and throw her in the map room with the guy who they think is Hilario, but is actually Dunoff’s important guest, Mr. Gonzalez. I mean, I award them points for realizing that the map room is where all the action happens in this school, but take away points for every other aspect of their plan. Hilda starts panicking that she’s going to miss her class, which has never happened during her tenure at this school ever (except the whole ton of them she missed when she was suspended? I guess that doesn’t count). She starts hyperventilating and faints dead away.
Meanwhile, in the bad part of town — you can tell it’s the bad part because it’s dark in the middle of the day, and they’re playing rock music instead of teen pop — Lito yells at Nacho for stealing a single apple and getting like five dollars from the grocer guy. They must steal more money! Blah blah Nacho doesn’t want to do crime but is successfully emotionally manipulated into it anyway blah.
Then we cut back to Elite Way, where it’s suddenly sunny again. I guess it’s permanently nighttime where the poor people live. Luna is emoing in the hallway, and she tells Nico she’s sad because the newspaper writer is going around spying on everyone and spreading gossip. He or she’s not a very good friend! Nico’s like, “Yeah, welcome to high school, Luna.” And then! AND THEN! He’s like, “How can you not see it’s Pilar?” DUDE, WHAT? When did Nico figure this out? Luna’s all offended, and says Pilar is her friend. “Well, for me, she’s the top suspect,” Nico says. Boy Detective Nico is back, son. Also, I swear to God, everyone’s figured out that Pilar’s the newspaper writer. Why won’t they confront her? They can’t be that afraid of her. Of course, Pilar picks that moment to rock up, and Luna flounces off with her in a huff.
Okay, I can see how he’s a little afraid of her.
Hilario recovers from his breathing problem — Sandra has to come to the rescue, since Feli shrieks at the girls for like five minutes to get water, and not a one of them moves. Hilario charms the pants off of Sandra immediately (though not literally) and she tries to get Blas to bring Hilario to Dunoff. Blas is like, “Now that I can’t be inappropriate with Mia anymore, my only joy is cockblocking people in this school from getting what they want. So…no.” Sandra huffs that she’ll just go find Dunoff then, and she’ll leave Hilario with Blas. What? I wouldn’t even leave a pet rock with Blas. For some reason, Blas decides to bring Hilario to the third years’ classroom, where Marizza’s entertaining everyone by recounting how she locked Hilda and Mr. Gonzalez in the map room together. Everyone’s like, “Wooo, they’re breakin’ some map shelves for sure!” Anyway, Hilario introduces himself — not by name, which I should add he didn’t do with Sandra either. I like how they have to be shifty about that because otherwise this would be resolved in about five minutes. Instead, he tells them he’s an old teacher, and they used to call him “Professor Beethoven,” because he used to teach music. All the students are like, “We had a music class? Now all we have are ethics, econ, math, and the occasionally mandatory dance-and-or-gym class.”
Etchamendi is meeting with Dunoff in his office, re: Renata. Dunoff says that he’s very impressed by Renata. As am I! I love how mean she is!
Me every time Renata is a dick to someone at this school.
Etchamendi weirdly says that he hopes everyone at Elite Way treats Renata well, as she’s “very special” to him. I really hope he’s her dad or uncle or something. I bet he isn’t, though. Gloria comes in and panics to Dunoff that Mr. Gonzalez has been kidnapped — he called her and said he was in the school, but then his phone was cut off. I didn’t mention it, but he’s shown calling someone when he and Hilda are first stuck in the map room. I guess he called the school and Gloria answered. Anyway, they panic over what to do.
Hilario’s still charming all the kids — he’s like, “Omg, calculators! The future is now!” Then Mansilla comes in, and is like, “I know this isn’t a very good school, but even we don’t let strangers hang around the classrooms for extended periods of time.” Hilario once again introduces himself without giving his name, and calls himself an old teacher of “this glorious institution.” Man, I hope he’s being sarcastic. Mansilla tells the kids that they have to go into the main hall for an inspection, and Mia grabs Nico and tells him that the band has to sneak out and have a meeting.
Pepa, Sonia, and Luca all fret over Nacho. Sonia finally has the idea to go to the press about it. This is so boring, I’m going to roll over and die.
All the kids gather in the main hall, and a SWAT team busts in through the doors. You’d think that would signal to them that something serious is happening, but no. Lujan wonders if they should tell someone that Hilda’s in the map room, and Feli’s like, “Are you kidding? We’ll interrupt them during the best part!” Hee. But also, how are these two suddenly getting along?
Hilaro, for some reason, is all excited. He’s like, “Being back at this school is bringing me back to life!” (Waking him up inside?) Fernanda sniffles to Tomás that she’s scared, and Guido’s like, “More like horny, amirite?” Fernanda pins him up against the stairs and is like, “You want me to set you on fire, son?” Heh. He deserved that.
Also ignoring the presumable gravity of the situation are Pilar and Luna, who are off hanging out by one of the pillars. No need for the kids to stick together when there’s a kidnapper in the school! Pilar’s all hurt and offended that Luna thinks she writes the newspaper. She snaps that Nico obviously is trying to break their friendship up, and Luna jumps to assure her that she doesn’t believe him. Well played, Pilar.
The band meets in the sad trailer, and Mia tells them the news: the record label still likes them, but they want them to sing songs that are written for them, not their original compositions. I mean, it’s almost like they resemble a teen pop group instead of a band. Almost like they are one in real life! Marizza and Manuel are okay with this arrangement, seeing as they don’t contribute anything except some dubious quality singing anyway, but Mia and Pablo are like, “Writing and composing are how we express our teenage angst! This cannot stand!” Mia’s pissed that Marizza and Manuel are willing to take the deal, and crumples up one of her songs and throws it away. They fret over what to do, then Lujan interrupts their meeting and tells them their plan majorly backfired, and they need to get their butts back to school.
Some police guy finds Nacho, but he wriggles out of suspicion. Then half a second later, Sonia pops up on TV with a picture of Nacho, and the police guy is like, “Omg!” but of course Nacho’s already gone by the time he turns around.
“Maybe I should retire, considering how slow my reflexes are.”
The SWAT team breaks into the map room and rescues Hilda and Mr. Gonzalez. The kids go back to class, and Dunoff comes in to yell at them. Mr. Gonzalez is remarkably chill about the whole thing; he tells Dunoff it was just a wacky misadventure. Nevertheless, Dunoff wants to get his punishment on, so if Gonzalez could just point out the students who brought him to the map room, that would be super helpful. Lujan, hilariously, makes sad eyes at Gonzalez from the first row. He tells Dunoff he didn’t really see them, and Dunoff’s like, “But to do that to Hilda! Tie her up and kidnap her! A lady of her age!” Lujan and Marizza actually look like they might feel a little guilty, and both of them stand up, trying to take sole responsibility. Dunoff brushes past Lujan’s confession all, “Woo! Finally a chance to punish Marizza!” He tells her to wait in her room while he calls her parents and Marizza’s like, “Sonia? Ha, good luck with that,” and he says he’s actually going to call her dad. Marizza sweatdrops.
In the cafeteria, Sandra says what we’re all thinking, re: meddling in Hilda’s personal life. “How could you?” Luna’s like, “I was carried away by love!” and Sandra’s like, “You wanted to get out of doing homework, didn’t you.” Luna’s like, “Well, that too.” Sandra is worried that Marizza’s going to be in real trouble with her dad, and suggests that Luna own up to her part in it. Feli comes in with all the girls trailing after her, sucking up to her for a spot on the dance team, and Luna hauls Feli off to talk.
Lujan tells Marizza that an ambulance had to come for Hilda, and Marizza’s like, “I can’t have Hilda’s death on my conscience!” What conscience, Marizza? She makes to leave her room, and Lujan says, “Don’t make things worse.” Heh. She knows Marizza so well. Marizza asks Lujan to cover for her and sneaks out of her room.
In Pablo’s room, Guido and Pablo are trying to convince Tomás to dump Fernanda. Guido’s like, “Look at you, she’s made you all messed up! You can’t let a woman own you, man!” Tomás says he’ll do it, but Guido’s coming with him. Hee.
Manuel comes in with the song Mia trashed earlier, and tells Pablo that he added his own lyrics to finish it. Pablo’s impressed by Manuel’s songwriting skills, and remarks that he and Mia seem to feel the same way. Manuel’s like, “Pfft, that’s just a coincidence!” If you say so, Manuel.
Marizza sneaks down the stairs, and Pablo runs into her. He’s carrying his guitar, for some reason. Maybe he’s going to see Mia or Nico? Who knows. Anyway, Blas busts Marizza, and Pablo covers and says he was playing her a song and wouldn’t let her go back to her room. Aw! Marizza’s all twitterpated. Pablo still cares, guys! Blas makes Pablo turn his guitar over to him, and walks off all pleased that he got to dole out some kind of punishment. It’s a good day to be Blas! Marizza carries on trying to find Hilda, and Pablo’s like, “Are you crazy?” He agrees to help her anyway, because he’ll follow her anywhere, probably.
Pilar tries to sneak into Dunoff’s office, but Gloria stops her. This doesn’t come up again.
Papa C comes to see Sonia, and she’s all snippy until he tells her that he’s sorry to hear about Nacho, and all his security personnel are at her disposal. He’s got people out looking for Nacho now. Sonia’s like, “Omg, he’s so hot when he’s being helpful.” And that, thankfully, is it for the Nacho subplot in this episode.
Tomás finds Fernanda in the lounge, and Guido’s like, “Okay, go break up with her, just call for help if you need it.” “You sure you won’t fail me?” Tomás says. It’s Guido, Tomás, of course he’s going to fail you! He goes over to Fernanda and says, “Okay, before I tell you anything, you need to remain calm.” Heh. Oh, Tomás, you’re not good at this. She figures out that he wants to break up with her and she’s like, “That’s cool, whatever.” Tomás is like, “Oh. I thought this was going to be harder.” He runs back to Guido shrieking, “I’m free, I’m free!” Oh, Tomás.
Pablo tells Gloria some fifth year kids are being rowdy, and she’s like, “Woo, time to go shut down kids having fun! The best part of my job!” With her gone, Marizza sneaks into the teachers’ lounge to see Hilda. Hilda’s like, “Oh God, not you!” Ha! I feel that, Hilda. Unfortunately, Blas busts Marizza before she gets a chance to explain. Then Gloria comes back in and snaps that there were no fifth years outside. “I swear I saw them, believe me, Gloria!” Pablo wails. Hee. It feels good to like you again, Pablo.
Marizza’s like, “We just wanted to reunite Hilda with her first love!” “WHAT?” Hilda shrieks. She’s understandably not impressed that they’re meddling in her love life, and Blas says Pablo and Marizza are grounded next weekend. I hate to say it, but that sounds fair. Ew. Agreeing with Blas makes me feel dirty. He and Hilda clear out, and Pablo snaps that this is all Marizza’s fault. Then Paula calls him, and Marizza sneaks out while Pablo talks to her. Paula wants to go out this weekend, and Pablo’s like, “Dude, Marizza got us grounded like five seconds ago.” Paula’s not happy: “Marizza again, huh?” You know it, Paula!
In the cafeteria, Mr. Gonzalez is hanging with all the girls, who explain their plot to him. He’s like, “What wacky times! I mean, apart from you nearly killing Hilda.” Dunoff comes in to apologize some more, and Mr. Gonzalez is like, “Actually, it’s kind of funny. Your students are delightful and I would like to hang with them!” Dunoff’s like, “No, they are all going to be punished because that is my one joy in life.”
Marizza sees Hilario in the office, being all emo that Hilda didn’t recognize him. “You guys knew each other?” Marizza derps. Oh my God, Marizza. It finally dawns on her: “Are you Hilario?” What, is there a third old guy wandering around this school? Marizza drags him outside, where Hilda’s sitting on a bench. She goes over to Hilda is like, “So I know this Hilario guy was the love of your life,” and Hilda says it was painful and a very long time ago. She’s like, “I’m old, and time passes, and people die and stuff.” Uplifting! Marizza’s like, “Not everyone is dead!” and hustles Hilario over. He and Hilda are all twitterpated over each other, and Marizza’s all pleased with herself. Dunoff comes up behind her and she’s like, “Go away, this is a beautiful moment.” Hee. For some reason, that doesn’t work on Dunoff, and he drags her off. Hilario tells Hilda he could never stop thinking about her. He was never happy! Way harsh to his wife and kids. Hilda’s like, “So, speaking of dead people, is your wife out of the picture now?” Nope, he’s still married. YIKES.
Guido’s playing pool when Fernanda rocks up behind him. He gets all jumpy that she’s going to stab him with the pool cue. Hee. She pouts to him that everyone thinks she’s a bad person because of that story about her ex-boyfriend. None of it’s true, you know! “Do you really think I’d do anything bad?” she asks, shoving her boobs in his face. Guido’s like, “My penis is very conflicted right now.”
Wait, I lied, that scene with Sonia and Papa C was not the end of the Nacho subplot for now. You’re killing me, show. Nacho runs from the police (again, some more), and trips over one of the pictures of him. It’s ominous, or whatever.
The band gathers to rehearse in the sad trailer. Nico hands out the music for one of the songs the label wants them to sing, and everyone hates it. Marizza’s like, “Ugh, these lyrics are so embarrassing! ‘I love your kisses, I love your caresses’, ick!” I mean…is that any worse than “Sweet Baby“? Nico says they have to sing love songs, which — wait, what? Aren’t all of their songs already love songs? Whatever. Manuel says he kind of wrote one. Didn’t he just finish Mia’s song? Behind every successful person is Manuel, smiling and taking partial credit. Mia snarks that Manuel doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body. Well, he’s got some kind of bone, Mia. Anyway, Pablo backs him up and says it’s good, and I guess they somehow found time to record it and add percussion, because they play “Amor de engaño” for the rest of the band. Mia and Manuel stare at each other and emo as the song plays, and Marizza and Pablo are like, “Awkward.” (No shots of Nico. That’s just cold, man.) Finally, Mia shuts the CD player off and snaps that Manuel stole her song, and Manuel’s like, “It’s our song now!” Marizza and Nico back Manuel up, of course. As they argue, Marizza notices that Paula’s showed up at the trailer, so she marches over and lays one on Pablo. Cliffhanger!
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