Opening monologue: The world can be cruel 🙁 Help me fight it and I’ll help you. It’s…mildly related to the episode? Close enough!
You’ll recall that Pepa fucked up and told Mia to forget all about her mom and “that guy”; Mia immediately flips out and Pepa’s like, “Abort mission! Uh…by ‘that guy’, I meant forget Manuel, and whatever he did to piss you off this week!” It’s not a bad save, considering that Mia’s literally always pissed off about Manuel. Pepa hangs up on her, and Mia is perturbed.
Tomás helps Mansilla drag in Pablo’s drunk carcass. Pablo cries all over Mansilla about how sad his life is and how Mansilla’s always there for him. “I’m a loser!” he wails. Well, I won’t argue with that, Pablo. He tells Mansilla that he loves him, in all seriousness. Hee! But really, this is Pablo’s own damn fault for breaking up with Paula two seconds after seeing that she owns a jewelry box. Lujan rolls in and Mansilla asks her to go make Pablo some coffee, because they gotta sober him up quick. Lujan heads to the cafeteria, and the camera pans slowly around the room. I love when they do that, because you can really tell there’s no way that room could hold the entire school. They must stagger their meals (and presumably don’t eat dinner at all). Anyway, Blas busts her and starts getting his power trip all up in her face about how she must be STEALING coffee, because people from the streets always show their true colors! They’re all thieves, it’s backed up by science. Eugenics, Blas? Why am I not surprised? He evils that he can do whatever he wants to her, because he has all the power and she’s a nobody. Creepy! Lujan slaps him. Run away with me, Lujan! Sadly, Blas is less impressed than I am, and snarls that he’s really going to get her in trouble now.
Look at that face. He’s just…the worst.
Guido and Mia come back to school, and Mia makes up some BS to ditch him. Bizarrely, she tells him that she’s going to get some water, pretty much perfectly setting up Mia walking in on Lujan and Blas, but she doesn’t. Dammit, show, I just want Mia and Lujan to hang out 🙁 Anyway, there’s a weird close-up of a bracelet on the floor. We don’t ever see it falling, but I guess Mia’s meant to have dropped it, because she doubles back for it as Manuel and Julieta return to school. Julieta’s all pissed because I guess Mia was ~insinuating~ things about Manuel and other girls at dinner, and Manuel is trying to convince her it’s not true. They have this conversation like every episode. They probably should’ve stayed broken up. Anyway, Julieta is particularly worried about a rumor that Fernanda has been sending Manuel chocolates. Poor Belen and Random Amanda. They really get the short end of the stick, tertiary subplot-wise.
Manuel catches up to Mia in the bathroom (why is it always the bathroom?), and she fake-repentantly says she didn’t know the rumors weren’t TRUE. Heh. Mia’s pissy with him for always bragging about Julieta and for stealing her diary, and Manuel’s like, “Whatever, don’t get all mad because you have an impossible love and I have an actual girlfriend.” Mia shrieks that he read her diary, and Manuel runs off. Later, Mia curls up with said diary, looking to see if she named any names. Feli stops by and she’s like, “Oh, Mia! I didn’t know you had an impossible love!” Why is everyone taking that journal cover seriously? When I was little, I wrote “SPY JOURNAL” on the front of my diary, and you didn’t see anyone accusing me of being in the CIA. Anyway, Feli says that she wouldn’t mind if Manuel read her diary (love yourself, Feli), and maybe this means that he’s interested in Mia. Either way, it mostly just means that he has no boundaries, so don’t get too excited, Feli. Mia’s not impressed by that reasoning, and swears revenge. This time, though, Feli doesn’t agree to help, because she likes Manuel and Mia both. Man, Feli’s not loyal 🙁
The next day. Pablo’s all hungover, and he grumps to Tomás and Guido that Paula DARED to have a box from a jeweler on her desk, so they’re over! What if Paula had gotten a present for HIM, huh? Anyway, Paula calls and Pablo makes Guido head her off and say his family’s on vacation. Then he throws up. Heh, sucks to be Pablo.
There’s a lesson here, I think it might be, “Don’t break up with your girlfriend just because she has a jewelry box and then go underage drinking.”
Mia rolls up to Fernanda in the hallway and she’s like, “Fernanda, your hair’s so pretty, I need you to be a pawn in my vengeance.” They natter on about how Fernanda changed her conditioner recently, and then Mia gets to it: “I need a favor for Manuel.” “Why, is he having hair problems?” Hee! No, Mia just wants to make the rumor reality, and have Fernanda try to get with Manuel. Fernanda agrees, for an exchange: she has a thing for Tomás, so she wants Mia to put in good word for her there. Mia agrees and does the finger-gun thing with Fernanda, who’s all twitterpated. She probably thinks she’s going to be a main character now.
Lujan’s being emo over Blas in the cafeteria. Luna’s like, you gotta fight him!, but Lujan cries that he has all the power. These two are really nothing without Marizza, aren’t they? Mansilla comes in and asks whatever happened to that coffee he asked her to grab, and Lujan mumbles that something came up. Mansilla’s like, “Okay, no prob,” then notices she’s all sad and asks if everything’s okay. Lujan’s like, “Of course!” and Mansilla skedaddles. Luna’s like, “Dude, did you just pass up a chance to get Mansilla, Grand Master of Meddling, involved here?” Lujan emos that Mansilla is nice and everything, but he’ll probably still back Blas up because of teacher solidarity or whatever. Has Mansilla ever sided with the teachers over the students about anything, ever? Has Lujan not been paying attention to the entire show so far? Whatever. Lujan’s like, “But not gonna lie, it WAS really fun to hit Blas.” That’s the Lujan I know and love. Then Gloria comes in and tells Lujan she’s suspended. Sandra notes this and approaches Mansilla (who’s…teaching Cata how to conjugate verbs?), and they are both Suspicious.
In the hallway, Mia’s chatting with some of her minions when Guido rolls up and tries to be cute with her. Mia is not into it, at all.
He’s all sad that Mia won’t let him make out with her, and she quickly agrees to let him get to second base in the map room during third period. No, Mia! Don’t do it! Guido’s all like, “Don’t eat anything spicy, because I am gonna EAT YOUR MOUTH.” Mia is understandably grossed out by this, although it’s weird because she was into it when Joaquin did it. Perhaps she’s learned her lesson since then.
Everyone heads off to class. Pablo comes in still emoing about Paula, and Tomás is like, “Well if you really like her that much, call her and make up.” Some good advice from Tomás! Frickin’ Guido ruins it, though, and is all like, “She made you wear the horns, man! If you make up with her, that’s like cutting your dick off!” Or something. Pablo decides that Guido’s right, and he’ll just passive-aggressively ignore Paula. Masculinity is a hell of a drug. Meanwhile, Julieta and Manuel are being coupley by the doorway, and Fernanda slides between them to give Manuel some chocolates. She pretends to just have noticed Julieta, and pushes past her with a snippy, “Permiso.” Hee! That was funny. Julieta is all pissed that Manuel lied to her, and then Blas walks in and snipes that he’s confiscating Manuel’s candy. Heh. Sucks to be Manuel.
Blas tells the class that Joaquin’s parents have taken him out of the country to recover from his drug problem, so Joaquin won’t be coming back to Elite Way. “Silence!” he says, even though nobody was saying anything. Nobody cares, Blas! Except Pilar, who starts crying and runs out of the room. She finds Mama D, who offers to take her to see Joaquin at his clinic before he leaves.
Paula goes looking for Pablo, and finds Mama B at her tennis club. Mama B greets her pretty warmly — I’m not sure if she knows Paula is Papa B’s thing on the side and has just decided to live with it, or if she naively thinks Paula’s a friend or something. Anyway, Mama B’s like, “Uh, we’re obviously not on vacation,” and Paula is suspicious.
Mercedes’s law office or whatever. Her secretary comes in and tells her that her mysterious rich client has canceled his case, so Mercedes missed the New York trip for nothing. But hey, on the upside, her secretary got a date with him! Heh. Everyone on this show is so chill about making dates with people they’ve never met and have talked to for maybe five minutes. The secretary says they’re going to see Sonia Rey’s show and Mercedes is like, “Why would you go to see that garbage?” Hey, don’t be a dick, Mercedes. The secretary says that the client has an in at the theater, and Mercedes immediately figures out what’s up. I will say, Mercedes is pretty consistently smart at figuring out Sonia and Mia’s schemes. She tries to call Sonia to rip her a new one, but whoever picks up the phone says Sonia’s on vacation for a few days. Mercedes is fine with that: “Mia will just have to pay for the both of them!” she cackles. I love how Mercedes goes from zero to telenovela villain in the space of a few seconds.
Marizza’s room. Lujan sadly emails her tutor about how she’s wasting her time at Elite Way, her life is meaningless, blah blah blah. Mansilla’s like, “Why should Blas get to have all the fun barging into people’s rooms?” and comes in to talk to her. Lujan tells him she was suspended (you’d think Mansilla, being the dean of students, would be consulted about that), and when he asks why, she snaps that it’s her problem. Again, Mansilla is the dean. This is kind of exactly his problem. Mansilla’s like, “So what, you’re just gonna lie down and let Blas walk all over you?” He says that she’s being weak, and what would Marizza think of this behavior? Lujan’s like, “Omg, you’re right, Marizza would be so ashamed.” Hee. He totally has her number. Mansilla says that Lujan has friends, and they’ll back her up. Time for a music video!
Aw, this cast really is pretty cute together.
Back in the show, Pilar and Mama D go to the clinic only to find that Joaquin’s already left. Pilar cries that he would have never left her without saying goodbye and Mama D’s like, “Yeah, well, some guys are douches. You probably should’ve figured that out when he broke up with you the first two times, but whatever.” Pilar sniffles that it’s not just the breakup: she’s three days late for her period. OH SNAP! Do I trust this show to decently handle teen pregnancy? No, I don’t. But I’m sure it’ll be hilarious!
Mia rocks up to Tomás in the hallway and is all like, “Tomás, you have such nice hair, it’s a pity it’s so long.” I love how Mia’s opening line is always to start talking about hair. Also, it wouldn’t be so long if they would just cut the back! For the love of God! Anyway, Mia puts on her best breathy sexy voice and tells Tomás she wants to talk to him about Fernanda. “Oh. Her,” Tomás deadpans. I get the sense that he’s not that into her.
Music montage (to “Pretty Boy”) of Fernanda being all over Manuel, and Julieta being pissed. Maybe deep down, she knows she’s lame for dating a sophomore.
Gloria gives Feli a card and tells her to pass it on to Mia, and not to look at it. Feli totally is going to look at it.
Dunoff’s office. Blas is all like, “Why can’t we just put Lujan back on the street?” and Dunoff’s like, “Wow, even I think that’s a shitty thing to do.” He says they can’t do anything to her yet,because they need to talk to her guardian first. But before they can do that, Lujan comes storming in and tears up her suspension notice. This is an INJUSTICE and she is going to be REBELDE! Dunoff’s like, “God, I hate working here.”
Lujan’s rebeldia continues in class. The chem teacher is teaching again, even though they’re in the regular classroom this time. Whatever, who cares. The chem teacher notes that Lujan’s supposed to be suspended, and asks her to the leave the room. Lujan’s like, “MAKE ME.” Everyone’s like, “OOOOH,” and Mia…compares this to Claudia Schiffer falling off the catwalk? I have no idea what she means by that. ETA: She actually compares it to Claudia Schiffer refusing to get off the catwalk, which I think is pretty complimentary, for Mia. I think I’ve mentioned that Lujan and Mia are my faves, so I love that Mia’s being nice to her here. Dunoff and Blas come in and try to make her go to the office, but Lujan refuses to move. Luna, Manuel, and Nico all stand up, I am Spartacus-style, and say that Blas is persecuting her. Lujan’s like, “Omg, I have friends!!”
Where is Marcos in all this though? Man, some people ain’t loyal.
Class is dismissed, but they refuse to leave. Manuel insists that the real problem is Blas’s shitty attitude towards the scholarship students, and even Dunoff is like, “Say what?” when Manuel mentions that he singles them out for bullying. Luckily for Blas, Mama D runs in and is like, “DUDE, we need to talk about Pilar RIGHT NOW.” Dunoff and Blas leave, and Lujan tells Manuel he doesn’t have to get involved. Manuel’s like, “Are you kidding, I LOVE to get involved!” Heh.
Pablo gets a text from Papa B saying he knows about his secret and they have to talk. Pablo assumes he’s talking about Erreway and flips out. Guido and Tomás are like, “That sucks, man, but we’re not smart enough for this so…good luck.” Heh. Pablo runs off to the sad trailer, and finds Paula there instead of Papa B. He’s like, “How did you find this trailer?” and she’s like, “Dude, everyone knows about this trailer.” She tells him she had another life before she met him (because she’s like in her twenties), but she wants to explain it to him if he’ll listen. Uh, I can sympathize with Paula being forced by Papa B to deflower Pablo, but now she’s getting weird. Paula tells Pablo that she got mixed up with a married guy (PAPA B~*~*~) and she was all young and naive and didn’t stop to think about loving herself enough to not sleep with married men. And now she has to stay involved with him for…reasons. She doesn’t say why. Pablo accepts this and they make up. HE’S FIFTEEN, PAULA.
Wacky scene of Feli ordering food in the cafeteria. She tells Sandra that Luna’s off being rebelde in the classroom, and Sandra’s like, “Aw hell no.” Then Augusto shows up, and when Cata offers Feli a low-calorie meal option, he flips out all, “Don’t you know I love you just as you are? Are you on a diet for ANOTHER GUY?” Then Mia comes in and tells Feli she needs her help RIGHT NOW, but Augusto won’t let Feli go. CREEPY. Also, he looks kinda like a teacher I had in high school. We used to call her the Dinosaur, because she really looked like one.
I’m just saying.
Mia tells Vico that her brother is being a douche, and Vico sighs that she warned Feli, but Feli didn’t listen. Mia changes the subject and asks Vico to go get rid of Guido for her, as he’s waiting to make out with Mia in the map room. Mia’s like, “He wants to put HIS MOUTH on MY MOUTH, the horror!” Hee. Vico’s cutely enthused about getting to fuck shit up, and runs off to the map room. Guido thinks she’s Mia and grabs her, and Vico shoves him off. Heh. Not even Vico will mack it with Guido. She tells Guido that Mia’s sick and she looks gross so she doesn’t want Guido to see her. Guido accepts this, but looks a little suspicious.
Dunoff tells Mama D that she has to deal with Pilar’s pregnancy by herself, since as Pilar’s mom, this whole thing is her fault. Mama D’s like, “Whoa, we wouldn’t be in this mess if you just expelled Joaquin like forty episodes ago.” Just kidding, but she should’ve said that.
Cafeteria. Mia and Fernanda congratulate themselves on their mutually beneficial plan, and do the finger-gun thing. Julieta walks by and sees this, and her suspicions are raised. Then Feli comes in with Gloria’s envelope and gives it to Mia. Mia opens it and gasps, “IT CAN’T BE!” You know what? I’m making a drinking game for this show; take a shot every time an episode ends with someone shrieking “NO PUEDE SER!” I bet we’d all have alcohol poisoning less than halfway through this season.
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