Previously on Rebelde Way: Everyone hooked up in the map room. Mansilla let the students have some fun for like five minutes, and now the entire administration is up in arms. Pilar got Pablo drunk and he spilled the beans about Nacho to her. The students were assigned group projects, which will surely result in some wacky shenanigans (unlike in real life, where it usually just ends up with one person doing all the work and everyone else stumbling through the presentation. I’m not bitter).
Opening monologue: Losing your virginity is scary, but teenage hormones are a force more powerful than we know. I think this monologue is misleading because I’m pretty sure I remember at least half the couples fighting about having sex well into the second season.
We don’t begin where we left off! This is an exciting change. Instead, we start in Manuel’s room. Manuel is teasing Nico about having a giiiirlfriend, while Nico takes his frustration out by…jumping on the beds? I don’t know. He’s still wearing his shoes too, which seems kind of gross. Anyway, Manuel tells Nico that Nico’s gotta do what he has to do, but if he hurts Luna, Manuel’s going to break his face. I’m sorry, what exactly does Nico have to do? The only reason he’s in this mess is because Manuel was slacking on his stalking Mia duties. I guess he means that Nico’s going to break up with her. See? What does this have to do with sex? The opening monologue is full of lies. Anyway, Manuel says Nico should just gently tell her that he doesn’t feel that way, but Nico’s like, “But what if she’s the only girl who ever likes me?!” Manuel’s like, “Oh, true.” Heh. They get interrupted by Lujan, who bursts in looking for Marcos’s inhaler. Manuel and Lujan shriek at each other trying to figure out what’s wrong with Marcos until finally Nico’s like, “Holy shit, am I the only person in this room who knows what asthma is?” They run off and Manuel and Nico revive Marcos and tell Lujan to get Gloria. “DON’T GET GLORIA!” Marcos shrieks. I kind of love how the threat of Gloria is enough to get him over his asthma attack. I bet they could wake people up from comas by threatening to find Gloria. Anyway, they tell him maybe they should call home, and Marcos is like, “NOT MY FAMILY!” I sense Marcos’s backstory creeping to the surface!
Teachers’ lounge. Mansilla is arguing with the British dude that teenagers shouldn’t be repressed, dancing is healthy and shouldn’t be forbidden, blah blah Kevin Bacon blah. British dude doesn’t look impressed, and says he’s going to go talk to Dunoff. Mansilla is perturbed. Mama D comes in, as she always seems to at these times. It’s like she has “Mansilla is alone and troubled” radar. She tells him Dunoff is Not Pleased with him, and Mansilla’s like, “Okay? That’s like barely news around here?” Mama D begs him not to get kicked out of Elite Way, because she just doesn’t know what she’s going to do without him. Yikes! Mansilla, if she invites you to the map room, run away.
Mia’s room. Vico tapes Mama C’s box shut so they’ll see if anyone else tries to get into it. Mia wails that someone is spying on her, and Vico immediately pins it on Feli, as Feli was looking through the box earlier. Admittedly, it kind of makes sense where Vico’s coming from, but it sucks for Feli. Mia storms off to go yell at her.
Manuel’s room. Lujan brings Marcos some water and frets over him until the boys kick her out. She drags Manuel off to the side and snaps that they should really call his parents, to which Marcos is like, “Dude, you’re like two feet away, I can hear you.” Hee. But also, don’t call his parents. It’s just allergies! DO NOT BRING HIS PARENTS EVER INTO ANYTHING. Do you think maybe Marcos has some issues there? The music ominouses in the background.
The not-library. Feli is working on their project while Tomás stares off into the distance. Probably pining for Pablo or some shit. Also I should add, their project is about the Unitarians and Federalists, not that they do much besides name-drop the parties. “What’s wrong with you?” Feli asks him, and the camera cuts to where Guido and Pablo are playing pool together. Ha! I totally wasn’t wrong about the pining. Feli tells him to accept it: without Pablo and Mia, the two of them are losers. Tomás kicks himself for making out with Vico, and Feli tells him that it wasn’t his fault; she “seduced” him. That’s hilarious. Also, I’ve seen that episode, and Tomás could’ve put up more than a 0.3-second fight, just sayin’. Mia storms up and starts trying to tear Feli’s hair out, and Feli swears she didn’t look through Mia’s stuff, which is so not true? I mean, she’s not the spy, but she totally went through Mama C’s box. I’m just saying.
Marizza’s room. Lujan is beating herself up for giving Marcos an asthma attack, apparently struggling with this new emotion called “guilt.” “Who cares, it’s over,” Marizza says, because apparently she has yet to meet this feeling. “Besides, everyone has allergies!” “This is way more than an allergy,” Lujan tells her. Seriously, is Nico the only person in this school who knows what asthma is? (Although, you know, I do remember there being a ton of ~educational~ stories about people with asthma when I was little, and then it sort of tapered off and I never heard about asthma again after like, the year 2003. I guess it’s plausible that anyone who missed that wave of awareness wouldn’t know very much about it.) Lujan says that they should do something to help Marcos and Marizza’s like, “Pfft, caring is for squares.” Because when Marizza wants to throw a party at a nightclub, everyone has to drop everything to help her, but when Lujan wants to help out a sick classmate, Marizza is snippy about it. Sigh. Anyway, Lujan decides that she should call Marcos’s parents. This won’t blow up in her face at all.
Teachers’ lounge. Dunoff and the British dude come in and pretend to be all ominous for 0.5 seconds, and then tell Mansilla that the school board wants to make him the “coordinador” of students. I’m guessing that’s something like a dean. The British dude tells Mansilla that he was very pleased with Mansilla’s modern teaching methods, and hops off to go call Manchester and tell the British about the power of dance. Dunoff whirls on Mansilla and is like, “You can’t fool me with Kenny Loggins so easily! I’M WATCHING YOU.” Mansilla’s just like, “K.”
Classroom. Mia waltzes in wearing free dress, even though everyone else is in their uniforms. Also, the show’s added “Hey Baby” to the soundtrack for her to dramatically walk in to. What happened to “Cherry Lips”? 🙁 Anyway, she tells the girls that their uniform makes her look like a schoolgirl (I mean…it’s a school uniform), and today she feels like a fatale. That’s hilarious. The outfit of a dangerous woman, apparently:
Joaquin walks in with Manuel and Nico and they all stare at Mia. Manuel and Nico tell Joaquin that Mia is a flirt, but she won’t actually go out with anyone. Joaquin’s like, “You sure about that?” and smugly heads off to his desk. Manuel is not pleased.
Gloria leaves her desk for like a half a minute, and Lujan sneaks in and writes down Marcos’s home phone number. Weirdly, you can see that there’s a contact listed for Lujan. Is that her mysterious tutor? It doesn’t occur to Lujan to write the number down, probably because then that mystery would be resolved.
Back in the classroom, Joaquin texts Marizza while “I’m a Slave 4 U” plays in the background. I think I’ve finally put my finger on why this show’s soundtrack cracks me up so much, and it’s because all of these are songs that I haven’t even thought about since I was like, ten years old. Anyway, Joaquin wants Marizza to blow off gym class and make out with him. Lujan comes in late and Hilda kicks her out of class. I only mention this because I totally had teachers that did this in high school, too. I remember one of them told us she was preparing us for college, because ~in college~, you get locked out of the classroom if you’re not on time. And then I actually got to college and it turns out you can waltz in an hour late and nobody gives a shit. That same teacher also made us scan and email our homework if we were sick and couldn’t come to school to turn it in on time. High school teachers are insane. Anyway.
Some hallway. Manuel spills all the beans to Papa C on the phone, particularly about Mia and Joaquin, and Papa C tells him to “wait for instructions.” Ominous! But to be real for a second, it’s pretty creepy how they’re going behind Mia’s back about all this. Like, she’s not the first or the last teenage girl in the world to date a douchebag, and it’s her own dumbass mistake to make, not any of Papa C or Manuel’s business. But whatever. Anyway, Manuel leaves and Lujan rocks up to the phone to call Marcos’s parents.
Teachers’ lounge. The economics teacher gets up in Mansilla’s face about how Mansilla doesn’t deserve the dean of students position, because the econ teacher has been here longer and sucked up way more to Dunoff, blah blah blah. Mansilla’s like, “I mean, I’m the only person in this school who gives a shit about the students, so…” The econ teacher gets all threateny and tells Mansilla that he wants to be the dean VERY BADLY.
Gym class. Alicia splits the boys and girls up, and Pilar immediately derails the girls’ class by drawing their attention to a new edition of the newspaper. Instead of telling them to ignore it and to get on with class, Alicia grabs it and begins reading it, like the crappy teacher she is. Pilar’s blown Nacho’s cover wide open, but Marizza is off hooking up with Joaquin. For some reason, Alicia immediately pins it on Luna: “You should know where Marizza is!” Seriously, why doesn’t anyone ever ask Lujan these things? She’s the one who’s attached at the hip with Marizza.
Marizza and Joaquin are quite literally sitting in a tree, which I don’t recall ever seeing before, but whatever. At least it’s not the map room. They coo about how much they missed each other (even though they’ve had class together like all day?) and how they were thinking about each other, blah blah teenage hormones blah. Joaquin leans in to kiss her, but Marizza jumps away and lies that something pinched her. He asks if she’s ever been with a guy before, and she lies that she’s kissed tons of dudes. He tells her that he didn’t mean kissing. Dude, is he trying to have sex with her in a tree in the middle of campus? Don’t do it, Marizza! Even the map room is better than this! He tries to kiss her again and she squirms away, and then Luna somehow finds them and shows Marizza the newspaper.
Lujan tries to smuggle Nacho across campus, but they’re busted by Dunoff. He hauls them off to his office with Marizza to interrogate them. Lujan and Marizza lie that they weren’t hiding Nacho on campus; they found him on the street and bought him food and clothes. Dunoff tells them that he’s calling the police, but the Sonia shows up and is like, “Let’s not call the police.” Dunoff caves to the power of her boobs, as always. Then he sniffs his hands from where he was holding hers. Ick. He’s like Frollo in “Hellfire.”
Back in gym class, Alicia eventually dismisses everyone because the class is out of control due to her not bothering to actually teach anything. Papa C shows up to needle Mia about Joaquin, and they get into another fight about how he doesn’t ~know~ her and her teenage angst. And he totally lied to her about Mama C! Papa C doesn’t know about Mama C’s diary, and says he wants to see the papers. He gets all emo and tells Mia that Mama C was from another social class, and she had to try to fit into Papa C’s, and she eventually couldn’t deal with his life and left him. And Papa C will never love again, but he’s not lonely as long as he has Mia. Aw. They hug and make up.
Teachers’ lounge. The not-ethics teacher hangs out with Hilda, and she needles him about when she was his teacher, and he turned in his history paper covered in beer. Heh. This would be a cute scene if this episode weren’t already so freaking long. Also, I guess they really did have to do those projects in one day. Jesus. Anyway, she opens up Pablo’s project and is shocked and appalled by whatever Marizza’s turned in for him. Pablo gets called to the office and he and Marizza yell at each other for being so lame at blackmail. Marizza tells him that she has a working tape of his music now and slaps him.
Mia and Joaquin make out in the map room. She tells him that she’s super happy that she worked things out with her dad, and “I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman” (hee!) is cut off with a record needle scratch. Joaquin flips out: they said they weren’t going to tell anyone! Now how is he supposed to two-time her with Marizza? He switches gears and asks her if she’s had sex before. What is Joaquin’s deal with virginity in this episode? He’s such a creeper. Mia says she hasn’t, and Joaquin tells her that he wants their relationship to be “complete.” Don’t do it, Mia!
Papa C stops by Manuel’s room and tells Manuel that he thinks of Manuel as Mia’s big brother (ha), and he wants Manuel to keep an eye on her relationship on Joaquin. Shady shit is going down in that map room, after all. Manuel agrees to dig up dirt on Joaquin, and Papa C hugs him. Manuel’s like, “This is weird.”
Dunoff’s office. He tells Marizza that Nacho will go into custody of the state, and Marizza flips out. Sonia tries to tell her that it’s the law, and Marizza’s like, “Well, laws are stupid!” Okay, but…that still doesn’t mean you can keep him in a trailer without running water and not send him to school, MARIZZA.
Outside, Lujan and Nacho sit in the lobby and wait for the verdict. Marcos’s mom shows up with Marcos’s medical history. Lujan says that if she wants to see Marcos, the students have a break, but Marcos’s mom blows her off. Suspicious!
In the hallway, all the students are marveling over the newspaper and how Marizza hid Nacho on campus for like three weeks. Actually, it’s not that impressive, when you put it that way. Bizarrely, Tomás is hanging out with Pilar’s group again.
Meanwhile, Mia freaks out to Vico about losing her virginity to Joaquin. “He didn’t demand it, but I feel like I have to,” she tells Vico. “OF COURSE you have to!” Vico says. Vico! That’s terrible advice! They calm down a little and Vico tells her that it’s normal to be scared, but what’s important is how Mia really feels about it. Okay, that’s slightly better advice. Slightly. Feli eavesdrops on their conversation and emos.
Marizza and Nacho say goodbye to each other and ugly cry. It’s not supposed to be funny, but it kind of is. She tells him if his foster family isn’t nice, she’ll beat them up for him. It’s nice, I guess. Finally, finally, Nacho leaves. And I never have to see him again! O/
Pablo catches up to Marizza in the hall and proposes a truce. He swears that he didn’t tell Dunoff about Nacho, but either way, he doesn’t have any blackmail material on her anymore, so why don’t they just stop fighting? Marizza mutters that nothing matters to her now that Nacho is gone, so they might as well. Pablo smugly goes back to Guido and tells him that Marizza won’t show Papa B his music now. Oh, Pablo. Guido’s like, “Damn, she does whatever you want, she must be hella into you.” Or, you know, he was blackmailing her, Guido. Guido has…issues.
Marizza emos in the cafeteria and gets the idea to call one of her mom’s entertainment industry friends. This particular guy works in radio, and Marizza says she has a tape for him to play. Dun dun dun!
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