Previously on Rebelde Way: Pilar likes Tomás! Until he threw a party and tried to assault her at it, anyway. Then Vico showed up and saw Pablo with another girl, and has decided to enact her revenge by hooking up with Tomás. Tomás resisted for about 0.3 seconds, then was like, “Nvm” and went for it. Lujan remembered she has a mysterious benefactor and almost found who it was, then she didn’t. Feli and Manuel nearly broke up, then they didn’t.
Opening monologue: Defeat is depressing. Losing a soccer game is like LIVING IN A NIGHT WITHOUT STARS. Well, if you say so.
We left off at a ~*~CLIFFHANGER~*~ wherein it looked like Marizza was about to get busted for hiding a small child in the school. Does she? Of course not. Nacho and Marizza both live to annoy me another day. Lujan aids them in this madness, to my chagrin. Nacho exposits a little about how he came to be here: he’s the younger brother of one of the guys Papa B sent to jail for beating Pablo up in the ghetto!, and the reporter somehow got a hold of him, but then he had to peace out for whatever reason. Question: if Nacho is from ~the bad side of town~, why is he dressed like Little Lord Fauntleroy?
Our other cliffhanger was that Papa C has come to pay a visit to Manuel, just as Manuel was fantasizing about stabbing his daughter in the face, like a normal person. Papa C compliments Manuel on the report he wrote up about Papa C’s company, and Manuel’s like, “Thx.” Papa C says, “‘Thank you.’ Is that all you can say?” I mean…what else is he supposed to say? Manuel offers to be Papa C’s assistant to get closer to him, but gets blown off. Papa C leaves, like five minutes after he arrived. Couldn’t he have just called Manuel? Anyway, Mia runs into her dad as he’s leaving, and Papa C asks her about the economics assignment Manuel claims to be doing. Mia tells him they have an ethics assignment, not economics. Busted, Manuel! Feli pops up for five seconds and Papa C is v. cute with her and gives her a hug. See? The Coluccis are like, the only people that bother to be nice to Feli without any ulterior motives. After she runs off, Papa C and Mia put their heads together to figure out why Manuel would lie about the assignment to get into the Coluccis’ house. Like Keith and Veronica Mars! But will Vico be murdered after having an affair with Papa B?
Speaking of whom, she and Tomás are hooking up in…idk what this is. The art room, maybe? There are shelves of what looks like construction paper and stuff. Whatever, who cares. Anyway, Vico seduces Tomás by doing a dance to “Fallin’” by Alicia Keys. This show is amazing. She starts like…crawling on the floor towards him, even though there are a bunch of candles set up there too. What if she knocked one over and started a fire? I worry about these things.
I seriously can’t say anything that will improve on this image.
I think they have sex? I don’t know. It’s hella vague. Anyway, Vico’s awkward dance routine/striptease goes on way longer than it has to, and PRAISE JESUS, we finally cut away to Mia. She tells Manuel to stay away from her family, which is fair enough. He storms off to angstily play pool and blow off Feli when she tries to be nice to him. I’m swinging back around to the Manuel hate train. Dump him, Feli!
Nacho has lice. Ew.
Dunoff calls Manuel to his office for a DRAMATIC CONFRONTATION with Papa C. Papa C wants to know why Manuel was trying to get into his house, and Manuel covers up by saying that he does admire Colucci, and he wanted to get ahead, because he’s all broke and from Mexico and stuff. Papa C buys it. Look, when I say the Coluccis are the smartest people on the show, I am clearly grading on a curve. Manuel skedaddles, all pleased his revenge plan is still in effect. Papa C asks to see Manuel’s file, and I swear to God, Dunoff says, “Well, actually you can’t, but…heh, for you it’s no problem!” Oh my God, take some responsibility for the school you run, Dunoff!
Pilar sees Tomás sneaking out of the art room after his secret sexytimes with Vico and evil monologues to the camera about all the gossip she’ll be able to put into the paper. So Pilar doesn’t care that the guy she likes (liked?) is hooking up with someone else now? She’s not worried that he might’ve date-raped whoever was in the art room with him? Why do I ask these questions when I know the answers?
Did this show ever even have a fourth wall?
Amazingly, Vico and Tomás have just left all their romantic props in the room. I guess they’re going to reuse them? It’s good they’re being economic. “The candle is fresh,” Pilar muses. Duh, Pilar, you literally just saw Tomás leave the room.
Meanwhile, Marizza has decided to use their ethics assignment to bust Pablo wide open. She tries to get Manuel to be smug with her, but he is too busy angsting over his near-miss with Colucci. They have a conversation about the dance group that’s actually a heavy-handed metaphor for Manuel’s vengeance. Manuel tells Marizza he’s not sure they can pull off beating Mia’s group, but Marizza says they’re strong enough to do anything. Manuel and Marizza bond over wanting to ruin Mia’s life, even though she hasn’t done anything to either of them.
Pilar nearly catches Nacho in the girls’ room, but then she doesn’t. She does see the lice shampoo they have out and cackles evilly. (I don’t know why any of them were just carrying around lice shampoo in the first place, but whatever.)
In class the next(?) day, everyone turns in their ethics assignments. The teacher is pleased that Marizza’s written more than the assigned two pages, and he reads out the title to the whole class: “The Groaner Syndrome.” Pablo somehow knows that Marizza’s talking about him and flips out. He asks Vico to find out what Marizza wrote. Vico stands up for herself for about five seconds, then Pablo emotionally manipulates her into doing his dirty work for him. Siiiiigh. Meanwhile, Guido asks Tomás for help in stalking Mia. Tomás tells him to give up, as Mia doesn’t give the time of day to anyone (not even Pablo). Guido’s like, “Yes, but I am different, because of reasons.” Tomás cracks up and says he and Guido can bet on it. Guido takes the bet like an idiot, but what else did we expect from him, really?
Nacho gets up to hijinks in the girls’ room while they’re in class. It’s super obnoxious. I dunno, does this show actually think I care about this kid?
Dance class. Mia and her group start performing their way oversexualized dance routine when Marizza busts in. I never thought I’d say this, but PRAISE JESUS for Marizza interrupting. Her group is made up of Manuel, Lujan, and…Nico? Who suddenly has rhythm and shit? I don’t know. They do a dance to “Bonita de más”, again. I know Erreway released more singles than that, you guys! I own all three of their albums with only minimal shame! Anyway, as before, everyone suddenly breaks character and does the dance routine to that song before turning around and pretending like that didn’t just happen. Is it bad that I’m just used to this now?
(What’s really funny is that Erreway the band does eventually exist in-show, and “Inmortal”, for example, is credited to Pablo. But obviously they’re all dancing around to “Bonita de más” while they still hate each other so…I guess they’re just dancing to a completely different song in their heads and WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT IS.)
Mia wails that there can’t possibly be two groups and storms off. Marizza’s group is just like “To hell with the fourth wall!” and start dancing again to the music that comes out of absolutely nowhere. The dance teacher is just like, “This song is pretty catchy” and stands off to the side being useless. As is expected with this school.
Pablo and Tomás talk about Vico. Tomás awkwards his way around the subject and tries to get Pablo to break up with her, but Pablo says no, because Vico is part of his villainous plain of villainry, which he then proceeds to lay out in detail for Tomás. Anyone walking by could totally listen in and find out what Pablo is doing! Naturally Nacho is hiding in the bushes, and is DEEPLY OFFENDED by Pablo’s besmirching of Marizza (oh my God, whatever). He throws an acorn at Pablo. See, I’d usually enjoy Pablo getting hit in the face by a small object, but I kind of hate Nacho entirely, so. Anyway, Pablo sees Nacho scurry off after his projectile attack, and is immediately suspicious. All random strangers on the grounds of the school must somehow be connected to Marizza!
Mia, meanwhile, takes the opportunity to sow discord between Feli and Manuel. She points out that she wouldn’t be so chill if her boyfriend was dancing like that with another girl. Feli’s like, “Didn’t you just tell me I had to stop being so insecure about Manuel?” and Mia’s like, “Yes, but only when it benefits me.” Fair enough. So naturally when Manuel comes up asking Feli if she liked the dance, she flips out on him and runs away. I don’t know, you could kind of look at it both ways. Feli does belong to Mia’s dance group (if only as the girl that pushes the buttons on the CD player), and Marizza’s trying to mess the whole thing up just to spite Mia. It’s kind of douchey for Manuel to throw his weight behind Marizza there. But whatever.
Guido sneaks into Mia’s room like a CREEPING CREEPER. He sits in her chair and goes through her stuff and steals a picture of her. GROSS! Guido sucks. I hate him. I hope he and Nacho get attacked by squirrels.
Pilar, who has been creeping in Marizza’s room (WHY ARE THERE NO LOCKS ON THESE DOORS), sees Guido come out from creeping in Mia’s room. She smirks evilly and stands in the doorway, writing in her notebook. I’d love for someone to come along and see Pilar in the open doorway of a room that isn’t hers, very obviously writing something gossipy. Nobody does, of course. I’m trying to remember if Pilar ever gets caught or if the newspaper storyline just gets quietly forgotten about later on.
Vico manages to weasel information about Marizza’s ethics essay out of Luna. Oh, Luna. Admittedly, she really only tells Vico that the essay seriously goes in on Pablo. This is apparently a shocking revelation?
Guido brags to Tomás that he totally creeped on Mia and he knows she uses kiwi lotion and she likes Britney Spears (lol), and so basically they’re already dating, and he is going to win the bet, so THERE. Even Tomás thinks that’s stupid. Then, weirdly, he adds that Mia and Pablo are meant2b, and no one ever turns down a Bustamante. But like, has Pablo ever even mentioned wanting to date Mia? Whatever. Guido pulls out the picture of Mia and whispers that he’ll do anything for her. CREEPY.
Peter brings Papa C a background check he ordered on Manuel. Papa C is sympathetic over the death of Papa Aguirre, but he’s still suspicious about why Manuel is all the way in Argentina when he was doing perfectly well at school in Mexico. He orders a deeper background check. Drama! Although he doesn’t seem to notice that Manuel’s been out of the 10th grade for two years, but then again, we might just be pretending that Manuel’s been 15 all along. Who knows with this show.
Lujan sneaks into Dunoff’s office again to try and find her files. I guess she didn’t find them the last time she was in there. It was a little unclear, what with the cutting away and never mentioning it again in the last episode. Anyway, she doesn’t find them this time, either. Blah blah fake suspense blah, she almost gets caught but then she doesn’t.
Vico tells Pablo what she learned from Luna, which was basically nothing, but for some reason Pablo’s like, “Omg, I know EXACTLY what she’s written about me! Now I have to kill her!” Not really that last part. He sends Vico off to lure Marizza into meeting him, like he couldn’t just get her to show up by yelling “FIGHT ME” across the campus or something. Anyway, Marizza falls for it and he’s all threateny and grabs her by the face and acts generally serial killer-y. Then Nacho jumps on him and runs away. Pablo tells Marizza if she doesn’t change her paper, he’ll tell Dunoff about Nacho. Please do, Pablo! I’d love it if child services took Nacho away so I don’t have to watch him anymore!
Although, you know, it’s not like Marizza can really get in trouble for Nacho being on the grounds. As far as anyone can tell, he’s just a kid that knows her. No one actually knows that Marizza’s hiding him in her room.
In the cafeteria, Luna decides to stay with Mia’s dance group. I want to say this is an excellent decision, because choosing Mia over Marizza is always wise. On the other hand, at least Marizza’s dance routine doesn’t involve the gross sexualization of adolescent girls. Man, even when Luna makes good decisions, they’re still kind of terrible. Anyway, Feli rolls up with the latest newspaper and overdramatically reads them the news. Tomás has a lovah! He was spotted coming out of the art room with a “cassette player” under his arm. That is hilarious. Pilar also mentions the lice shampoo in Marizza’s room, but Luna covers by saying she was using it to moisturize Marizza’s skin. Mia and Feli fall for that, incredibly enough. Finally, Feli gets to the part where Guido was seen creeping around Mia’s room. The newspaper calls him a “secret detective.” Wrong, Pilar! If anyone has to be the school’s boy detective, it’s probably Nico “Knows Manuel is Up to Something Shady but Keeps Drawing the Wrong Conclusions About It, but At Least He Knows” Provenza. Whatever.
(Sidebar: the earlier part of this scene is pretty cute, with all the girls sitting together. They egg each other on to read the different stories in the paper out loud, and it’s a sweet and actually pretty realistic depiction of friends hanging out.)
Guido catches up to Pilar and is all, “I know you write the newspaper! How could you reveal my creepiness to everyone like that!” Pilar’s like, “Well, maybe you should’ve tried stopping me when you first found out three frickin’ episodes ago.” Not really. He tries to blackmail Pilar into taking it back, but she just laughs at him. I…I kind of love her. Then Mia throws him up against the wall and tells him that she knew Manuel sent him and she’s going to go yell at him RIGHT NOW, so there. Is Mia forgetting that Manuel and Guido hate each other? Oh, well, who cares. Guido’s like, “That was hot.”
Back in Pablo’s room, he finds a copy of the newspaper and is all pleased to see that Tomás is getting some. Tomás and Guido come in, and Pablo tells them that “Pablito” has Marizza under control. Dig the third-person sociopathy! Pablo needles Tomás over who his mystery girl is, while Tomás frantically looks for a way out of the conversation. I like that Tomás is self-aware enough to know that he’s incapable of keeping this a secret.
The ethics teacher comes to Marizza’s room (what) and knocks on the door (what) and has an entire conversation with her in her bedroom (WHAT). This is so wildly inappropriate. Anyway, he tells her that Pablo told him that Marizza plans on rewriting her paper. Marizza sweatdrops. ~*~CLIFFHANGER~*~
Manuel’s room. He strokes a picture of his family and cries over not being able to stab Franco Colucci when he had the chance. Then Mia storms in, because she totally can, because this school has absolutely no security whatsoever. She calls him out on being a stalky stalker, and Manuel’s like, “Ha! I would never stoop so low as to stalk YOU!” and Mia slaps him. Then they make out. Oh my God, finally.
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