Previously on Rebelde Way: Everyone swore vengeance. Mostly Vico (she did it twice!), because she (erroneously) thinks Pablo is cheating on her — with Marizza, of all people. Speaking of Marizza, Pablo almost got her kicked out of school, but then it didn’t work. Also, his father might be a Death Eater. Feli (erroneously) thinks Manuel is cheating on her with Luna, of all people. Manuel and Nico are now BFFs, for some reason. In exchange for vengeance (the word of the day!) on Pablo, Marizza told a journalist that Franco Colucci is stalking her mother. Let’s see how that turns out, shall we? It certainly won’t end with Franco and Sonia getting married in 200 episodes, nope.
Opening narration: “I don’t like masks. They don’t feel emotions.” Yes, that’s…kind of their thing. No, but the actual point of the narration is that hypocrisy sucks. Alright.
Inside the classroom. Mia tries to get Feli’s attention, but Feli is too busy staring at Manuel. When are those two going to break up? It has to happen soon, right? Over on the other side of the room, Luna is fretting about the dance group — she’s no good at dancing! What if she fucks up? The other girls try to comfort her by saying that if Mia chose her, she must be good. “Mia is never wrong!” That’s hilarious. I love how Mia’s basically running her own cult inside the school.
Cafeteria. Lujan refuses to eat, because she’s running out of the stipend her Mysterious Benefactor gives her. Marizza’s like, “So what? Just spend it until you find out who it is, and then get more money out of them,” which is terrible advice. Lujan says she’s never going to find the person’s identity out. See, Lujan should’ve thrown her lot in with Mia way back at the start of summer vacation, because Mia is a surprisingly good girl detective. She could probably get to the bottom of this. But no, Lujan had to hang with Marizza, so now she’s stuck wondering who the hell is sending her all this money.
Just then, Tomás comes in, and Marizza grits out that just seeing Pablo’s friends makes her want to vomit. Heh. I must admit Tomás’s haircut makes me nauseous sometimes. Lujan asks if Marizza heard back from the journalist, and mentions that the story she made up about Franco Colucci was “a little over the top.” Which is saying something, coming from Lujan.
While Marizza calls the journalist back, Tomás opens the envelope he found in his locker…yesterday? The other day? I don’t know. It’s a love note! From a giiiiiirl. Tomás is all twitterpated.
Bless.
Who could it be from? Who, indeed? (That’s a genuine question. I don’t remember this subplot at all.) Just then, Pablo comes up and snatches it out of his hand. Tomás tries to insist that the note is just for him, but Pablo’s like, “Pfft, boundaries,” and reads it anyway. Guido pops up, too, but Pablo shoos him away. “You won’t be offended if I ask you to sit somewhere else today, right?” Oh, man. That’s so mean. I actually feel bad for Guido.
Meanwhile, Marizza says she wishes she knew who writes the newspaper — she could write a whole book about Papa B bribing Dunoff with a car. Guido twists around: the newspaper? That’s something he knows about! He offers to hook Marizza up with “someone” who has access to the paper. Dude, Pilar’s going to kill him.
Some hallway. Manuel tells Luna that Feli told him that she went to try and make friends with Luna — was that really how it went down? Luna’s like, hell no, she gave me crazy eyes and everything. She tells Manuel that frankly, Feli’s kind of freaking her out — and then, weirdly, she blames Manuel for the whole thing. “Don’t you realize how in love [Feli] is?” Manuel sensibly says that neither of them can be in love, they’ve known each other for like a month. Luna just laughs at him and pats him on the cheek, and Manuel pokes her back, and the two of them start cutely play-fighting. Naturally, someone rounds the corner and witnesses this. It’s Mia! And she conveniently has a camera! You will recall that, in the early 2000s, phones didn’t have cameras, so Mia is actually walking around with a camera on her person all the time. (Although actually, I remember this is something my friends and I did, too. Little point-and-shoot cameras were like accessories — everyone carried one, even though half the time it wasn’t really yours, just one that you borrowed from your parents. Although Facebook wasn’t a thing yet, either, so I don’t know why we were constantly taking pictures. I think we actually printed them off and gave them to each other. 2004, man.)
Anyway, she takes a few pictures of them, and hilariously, you can hear the shutter go off and the film wind. The early 2000s! Then she conveniently runs off before Manuel and Luna let go of each other, and Manuel tells Luna to stop watching so many Mexican telenovelas. They’re giving her silly romantic ideas, unlike Argentinian telenovelas, which we all know are brimming with realism.
Pilar’s locker. Guido tells her that he knows a secret — a secret secret, the secretiest secret to ever be a secret. He hands her an envelope, which I guess contains the bribery story. Pilar promises she’ll get it to the writer of the newspaper. Guido’s like, “I don’t know, can I trust you to deliver it?” Guido! How can you not know that Pilar is the writer? She has no friends, who the hell else could it be?
Once Guido’s gone, Pilar rips the envelope open and reads it. “It can’t be!” she gasps. I suddenly remember that Pilar is Dunoff’s daughter. Finding out your dad is beholden to the Dark Lord is always rough. She storms over to his office to yell at him, which struck me as kind of weird, in that it never occurred to me that Pilar really cares about her dad’s ethics or anything. But apparently she does, because she nearly starts crying while demanding the truth. If Pilar turned her gossip column into a muckracking paper devoted to busting crime open at Elite Way, that would be awesome. She and Mia could team up! Anyway, Dunoff denies it all and tells her never to ask about the new car again, which is in no way suspicious.
Back in the classroom (homeroom?), the teacher is going over their schedule. Marcos asks if they’re going to have ethics class this year. I’m surprised and pleased to know that the school offers an ethics class. God knows these kids need it. Pilar comes in late and says she was in the office, and Mia and Feli snark that she was probably “blabbing” to Dunoff. I’m kind of curious how Pilar got this reputation as a tattletale. My guess that there was an incident before the show where she ratted Mia’s group out on something, and now no one will talk to her. Pilar takes her seat next to Marizza, and notices that Marizza’s handwriting matches the handwriting on the bribery tip. ~*~SCARE CHORD~*~
I don’t know why that needed a scare chord. There is literally nothing Pilar can do with this information. But whatever.
Papa C’s office. He asks Peter to bring him the newspaper and there’s like a 5 minute back and forth where Peter won’t bring him the paper but Papa C wants to read the paper but Peter just doesn’t think that’s a good idea and OH MY GOD, WHO CARES. Anyway, the front page is all about how Papa C is totally stalking Sonia. Papa C is appalled, as well he should be.
After school (I guess?), Marizza flops onto her bed and complains about the amount of work they have. 10th grade is a rough time. Lujan suggests that maybe she could start her homework now and get ahead, but Marizza blows her off, as she does every time someone gives her halfway decent advice. Luna peaces out to go to dance club rehearsal, and Marizza flips out — what rehearsal? Why does Luna have hobbies that don’t revolve around Marizza? Lujan gleefully tells her that Luna’s joined Mia’s dance team, and Marizza is appalled. How dare Luna hang out with people that she doesn’t approve of!
A random bookshelf in the student lounge, which I guess is what passes for a library at Elite Way. The music keens ominously in the background as Manuel attempts to read a book about economics. Scary! Mia pops up out of absolutely freaking nowhere and asks why he’s reading that — their school doesn’t offer economics, and Lord knows nobody reads books for fun. Manuel asks why she’s talking to him — “Did you want to ask me out?” “Sweetie, I don’t do community service,” Mia snips. Hee. Anyway, she sits down to yell at him about Feli. Manuel is dicking her around, and Mia has proof! Proof printed on shitty filler paper. I thought she was using a film camera? Nevermind, I don’t care. Manuel gets up in Mia’s face: Mia’s not trying to protect Feli from Manuel, the real issue is that Mia, like Nico, doesn’t think Feli is attractive enough to get a boyfriend. “You don’t really care about her. She’s just one of your projects, right?” The show plays it like Manuel is right (Mia gets all flustered), but…that’s not really how it’s gone down in the past few episodes? Mia’s relationship with Feli has always come off as pretty genuine, and her doubts about the Manuel/Feli ship have always been rooted in Mia thinking Manuel is a jerk. And Mia knows how emotionally fragile Feli is — she has real reason to think Manuel’s going to hurt her friend; she’s not just concern trolling. Whatever. Manuel can’t handle Mia’s truth.
She tells him that he better not be using Feli, and Manuel’s like, “I don’t use people. I’m not a Colucci.” Mia’s like, what? “What do you know about my family?” Right? Manuel practically has “I AM PSYCHOTICALLY OBSESSED WITH THE COLUCCIS” tattooed on his forehead. And then Mia mocks him for not having a family and flounces off. Oh, Mia, you make it so hard to love you. But also…right? I know Papa Aguirre is dead, but whatever happened to Manuel’s mom and his tiny lisping sister?
Manuel rips the picture of him and Luna and half and storms off. And then a hand reaches into the frame and takes it. Of course. Of course.
Who could have seen this coming?
Some courtyard. Feli and Vico gleefully cut girls from the dance team-squad-club-thing while Pablo and Tomás watch. Vico is thrilled that Pablo is paying even a modicum of attention to her, so I guess she forgives him for the Marizza thing. Meanwhile, Tomás is wondering which of the girl from the dance team could have sent him the note. “I hope it’s Laurita. Or Jimena.” Who? Tomás, we’ve never heard of either of those girls. They’re not in the credits. It’s probably, like, Pilar.
Meanwhile, Marizza is ranting about the “brainless girls’ dance group.” Again: for someone who thinks Mia and her crowd are obnoxious and snobby, Marizza spends a shitton of time passing judgment on people for…I’m not even sure what her vendetta against the dance group is, apart from the fact that Mia runs it. Are all the girls on the team brainless just because they like dancing? Including Luna, her supposed friend? Marizza is a terrible person, but we knew that. She vows to destroy the dance team, because they…dare to exist without her approval? Seriously, why doesn’t she just ignore them? Marizza has no chill.
(By the way, since the topic of Mia’s projects came up earlier — it’s pretty obvious that Mia is only hanging out with Luna for the fun of transforming her into someone else, and doesn’t like her for who she is at all. But I mean, does Marizza? She’s constantly bagging on Luna for liking things Marizza doesn’t like — dance team, homework, nonviolent resistance — and keeps trying to subtly push Luna into being more like Marizza and Lujan. She doesn’t out-and-out call Luna a project, but…she’s not exactly accepting of Luna as she is, either.)
Just then, Pilar comes up and gets in Marizza’s face: Dunoff’s new car is from a debt the school owed him. Marizza’s note was lies and slander! Marizza snarks that hey, she gets it — it’s hard to accept that your father is trash, but that’s just life! Pilar looks absolutely crestfallen and mumbles that her father isn’t like that, but Marizza continues to steamroll over other people’s feelings, as always: “If you don’t want to accept reality, that’s not my problem!” She plants the idea in Pilar’s head that Pilar should look up the car’s license plate, and flounces off.
Elsewhere in Buenos Aires, Papa C gets into a fight with Sonia’s assistant, Pepa (remember her?). I think it’s supposed to be amusing, but it’s mostly just tedious. Papa C wants to yell at Sonia about the stalking rumors, but he can’t, because she’s not there. Pepa panics because she can’t reach Sonia. That’s the entire scene. It’s almost as thrilling as the scene where Peter almost didn’t bring Papa C his newspaper.
Dunoff’s office. Pilar sneaks over to Gloria’s desk, which Gloria has left unattended while she’s off doing lines in the bathroom to get her through another day at this shitty, shitty school. I mean, what? Pilar uses the phone to call the car company(?) to find out who registered the license plate. Or something. I just watched this scene, and I still can’t remember what she said. Anyway, it cuts away before we find out in some bullshit attempt to build suspense.
Meanwhile, over at the dance auditions which have suddenly moved inside the gym for some reason — wait, have they always had that gym? Well, they have it now. Marizza and Lujan have rolled up to try to antagonize Mia into letting them into the group. Mia tells them that sign-ups have already passed, which is kind of unnecessarily bitchy, but still fair enough. She flounces off to practice, and Lujan asks Marizza what we’re all thinking, which is, “Why do you even want to be in this group anyway?” Marizza’s like, “To annoy Mia, why else?” Marizza needs a hobby in the worst way. Lujan says that she doesn’t think that’ll work, so Marizza shrugs and smashes the CD player.
I think this was the point I started to suspect Marizza was seriously unhinged. Who does something like that?
Back in Dunoff’s office, Pilar stomps in to tell him that she found out that the car was indeed bought by “the government.” Seriously? Papa B uses money straight from the government account for his bribes? That seems like the easiest way to get busted for it, to me. At least siphon it off and pretend it’s yours, you know? Pilar is horrified to learn that her father is corrupt, but Dunoff insists that he’s an innocent! Does she want to bring the wrath of the Argentinian Mafia and/or Voldemort down onto the family? And then, weirdly, he blames Pilar (and her mother) for his inability to say no to Papa B — they keep demanding things from him! It’s their fault! Damn, Dunoff. In the immortal words of Tyra Banks, take responsibility for yourself!
(Also, it’s worth mentioning that Pilar wears a blue watch, just like the ominous hand that stole the picture of Manuel and Luna.)
Back in Marizza’s room, she browbeats Pepa into sending her something right away, immediately, now, because the idea that people have other things to do besides cater to her every whim has clearly never occurred to her. Lujan says, “Marizza, you never rest!” but in that sort of, oh, you so wacky tone of voice. Lujan is testing my love for her dearly. Marizza says she’ll rest once she puts Mia in her place. This rivalry is so hilariously one-sided. Marizza is running around destroying other people’s property just to get a rise out of Mia, and Mia just so clearly doesn’t give a shit about her.
Then Luna comes and tells the girls that she’s been reading the entertainment section, for which Marizza and Lujan roundly mock her. But they’re totally her real friends, guys! Anyway, the paper doesn’t just say that Papa C has been stalking Sonia, it accuses him of sexually harassing her. Even Lujan is like, whoa, this is a little overboard, but Marizza says it’s perfect. She gleefully asks what Mia said when she found out her dad has been accused of sexual harassment. Luna’s like, “Are you crazy? I didn’t show it to her”, which is a perfectly reasonable and empathetic thing to do, especially since Luna knows it’s not true. Of course, Marizza isn’t capable of reason or empathy, and she runs off to go show Mia the paper. Man, I didn’t like her before this episode, but now I’m actually horrified by her behavior.
Mia’s room. Feli and Vico are fighting, as Feli is upset that Vico let Pablo watch the dance team auditions. That seems like a weird thing to be upset about, but whatever. Vico says Feli is just jealous, because Manuel doesn’t give a shit about any of Feli’s hobbies, which is kind of true. Feli says that Vico’s just making excuses for Pablo because this was the first time in history that he actually came looking for her first, which is also kind of true. Mia tells them to shut up about their useless boyfriends and focus on the real problem, which is that Marizza broke their CD player, and now they don’t have a sound system for dance practices. For real. I know Marizza’s incapable of thinking about anyone besides herself, but it’s not like the CD player was even Mia’s — the entire dance team was using it. Mia says that Marizza has “declared war” on them. And speak of the devil! Marizza barges into the room with the paper, because on top of everything else, she also doesn’t know how to knock on a door. She asks Mia how it feels to be the daughter of a sexual harasser and flounces off. Mia starts crying at the thought that her only living parent would do something like this. Christ, Marizza is a shitty person.
Nico, meanwhile, goes looking for Manuel and discovers that he’s left school grounds. Nico’s eyebrows are perturbed. Hey, Nico, maybe it isn’t your business where Manuel is every minute of the day. As it turns out, Manuel has gone off to visit Papa C. I have no idea why we needed that scene with Nico to establish this, but whatever. Manuel’s finally going to carry out his vengeance, in the form of…interviewing Papa C for a “thesis on marketing.” My God, Manuel, just stab him already. He already let you into his house! This is the most fucking roundabout revenge ever. Also, if I were Papa C, I’d ask what the hell kind of 10th grade English class is making the students write a thesis.
Unfortunately for Manuel, before he can ask any armor-piercing questions like “How many industries does the Colucci corporation have?”, Peter comes in with the phone. It’s Mia, and she’s in hysterics. Papa C takes the call, as you do. Manuel glares at him. How dare he show concern for his child!
Back in school, Tomás is hitting on some random extra, possibly Laurita or Jimena. Either way, no one cares. She blows him off and runs away. Hee! Tomás shakes his head. He was sure it was Dolores! Oh, so that was Dolores? Oh, wait, nobody cares. Tomás opens his locker to find another letter. His secret admirer tells him that she’s been having ~dreams~ about him. “Definitely not Dolores,” Pablo says. Like anyone needs all this information on Dolores’s character. Tomás wails that he’ll never find the girl, and “Get the Party Started” starts playing in the background. Lol.
Mia’s room. She’s calmed down, as Papa C has assured her that it’s all lies, and he’s already sued the pants off of the paper. Luna comes in with some tea for Mia, which is really sweet. I know I’ve called Luna annoying before, but in this episode at least, she’s far too good for pretty much all of these characters.
Meanwhile, Marizza sees Pilar moping in the stairwell and she sits down next to her and…apologizes for rubbing her dad’s corrupt behavior in her face. Wait, what?
Is this real life? Am I dreaming? Have we fallen into an alternate universe where Marizza isn’t an entirely self-serving wench? My God, it’s true. Pilar actually tries to apologize to her, for not believing her about Dunoff, but instead of lording it over her, Marizza…empathizes with her? Holy God.
I mean, the scene is slightly ruined by the Smash Mouth song playing in the background, but we can’t have everything, I guess.
Then Lujan runs up with a new edition of the school paper that she found in the “library.” I’m assuming she means that one bookshelf in the student lounge, because I haven’t seen anything else that remotely resembles a library in this school. Lucky for Pilar, there’s nothing about her dad in there! Pilar mopes that it doesn’t change anything — Dunoff is still a bribe-taking, Voldemort-supporting jerkface, whether the school knows it or not. Marizza’s like, “Yeah, but…at least they don’t know it?”
You know, I’m not actually sure what this subplot serves (besides I guess Pilar becoming disillusioned with her dad). Like, has Pilar realized that airing the school’s dirty laundry means that she’s going to have to find out things she doesn’t like? Does she have to think about whether or not she wants to publicize gossip about herself in order to keep suspicion off her? Neither of those things come up, possibly because they’d actually be interesting questions.
Mia’s room. She asks Luna about Manuel, but Luna swears that there’s nothing going on between them. Mia seems to accept this, and switches to complaining about her life. “I’m going to tell you a secret I’ve never told anyone.” She lifts up her hair, and Luna’s like, what’s the deal? “Don’t you see? My right ear is bigger than my left one!” Luna rightly just laughs at her. Then she asks if Mia got her lopsided ears from her mom, and the sad music kicks up in the background as Mia tells Luna her mom is dead. Luna’s like, well, this is awkward. Mia tells her she’s never even seen a picture of her mom. But she does have this beat-up old picture frame with her mom’s initials, which is close enough! This is just sad, you guys. Luna squeals over how hermoso the frame is — wait, really? It’s a piece of square wood. But whatever. You’ll recall that last time Luna said hermoso instead of lindo, Mia made fun of her, but this time, Mia muses on how “cool” the word sounds. Heh. Luna offers to fix the picture frame for Mia, which seems like a pointless task. It’s probably just set up for Luna finding a picture of Mama C in the back or something.
Just as it looks like Mia and Luna might start becoming actual friends, Feli bangs in with the school newspaper, which has one of the pictures of Manuel and Luna in it, and some accompanying gossip that the “Aztec” has been having secret meetings. Mia, of course, is the only person who calls Manuel that, and Feli is suspicious! Luna inexplicably covers for Mia, saying that Marizza took the photo as a joke. I mean, I say inexplicably, but it’s mostly because Luna is a pushover. Still, Mia’s basically turned the full force of Feli’s crazy eyes onto Luna now — any other person would be incredibly pissed at her. And then Feli says that this is basically proof that Marizza writes the paper, and Luna covers for her, too, saying someone must have stolen it. Christ, Luna, slow your martyr roll.
“Damn girl, how many people are you going to take a bullet for in one day?”
Feli tries to kick Luna out of their room, and Mia tries to stop her, but Luna doormats and says she was leaving anyway. On the one hand, Luna really needs to stick up for herself. On the other hand, I’d be afraid of spending time in the same room as Feli too.
Manuel’s room. Nico whines about how late it is, and how he’s just finished his homework. Nerdy Marcos, naturally, finished it hours ago, but is still going over the problems. Just in case! Nico rightly is like, “Jesus Christ, dude,” and tells Marco he’ll go over his problems for him if Marcos goes out and does something besides be a nerd stereotype. Marcos hobbles out just as Manuel comes back in. Nico correctly susses out that Manuel was off doing something with Mia’s dad, and that Feli is somehow mixed up in this whole weird Colucci obsession. Damn, Nico’s detecting skills have improved dramatically. Anyway, he warns Manuel to be careful.
Some hallway. Mia and the rest of the dance team are telling the gym teacher about Marizza going absolutely fucking mental and destroying their CD player, when Marizza pops up and asks if they’re talking about the “accident.” “I’m so clumsy, I tripped and knocked over the stereo!”
Yeah, this…this is not tripping.
Anyway, Marizza wheels in a brand new sound system for the dance team. It’s a gift, since they’re going to let her try out tomorrow! Mia tries to shut her down, but for once a teacher in this school doesn’t let a 15-year-old walk all over her. Marizza squeals that she’s off to practice the moves right now! Seriously, though, I can’t believe Marizza a) destroyed an expensive piece of equipment and then b) made her mother pay for an even more expensive piece of equipment to bribe her way into an audition for a group she doesn’t even want to be in. Just to annoy Mia.
A song for Marizza.
Sonia finally comes back from wherever the hell she was from, and Pepa promptly serves her with Papa C’s defamation report. Sonia is not pleased. This is not how she wanted to spend her day!
In the hallway, Marizza catches up with Pilar and Lujan, who are giggling together because…I guess they’re friends now? Okay, whatever, I’ll roll with it. Marizza convinces them to try out for the dance team with her — Pilar agrees because she’s tried out “like twenty times” and never made the cut; Lujan agrees because she’ll follow her lady love anywhere. Case in point: Marizza says she’s going to go change, and Lujan runs off to join her. I…yeah.
Guido realizes that the bribery story isn’t in the paper, and he is suspicious! He asks Pilar if it isn’t a little coincidental that a story about her dad didn’t make it into the paper. It’s almost as if Pilar’s friends don’t exist (hee!), and she’s the writer of the newspaper.
PRAISE JESUS, SOMEONE FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT! Pilar denies it, of course, and runs away. Guido swears that he’ll make her admit the truth. “And then you’ll work for me, bitch!” That’s…that’s a little creepy.
Papa C’s office. Sonia bangs in and starts accusing him of using her to get publicity for himself and Papa C’s like, to the contrary, it is you who is using me! Sonia’s like, I would never use someone like you! and Papa C’s like, well, I would never sexually harass someone like you! which is hilarious to me because…is he admitting he’d sexually harass someone else?
There’s like five minutes left in the episode, but you know this show is going to somehow cram about ten more scenes in. Back at school, Feli intercepts Manuel and asks him about the picture. It’s a really weird exchange because I have no idea what she’s asking — she tells Manuel that there was a misunderstanding, “with Mia, and Luna, and a photo…” and Manuel says, “Yes, it’s true,” and a scare chord goes off. What’s true? That there was a picture? That Luna is in the picture? That Mia took the picture? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED BY?
Finally, Marizza gets a call from the journalist. She is shocked, shocked by whatever he tells her. And that’s the end of the episode! That ending would be a lot more effective if I even remembered what she needed the reporter for.
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