Previously on Rebelde Way: Feli thinks she might be pregnant, so Pilar and Laura go to the closest Walgreens to buy her a pregnancy test. Naturally, everyone and their mom decides to show up at that pharmacy — namely, Tomás and Dunoff. Hijinks!
Dunoff catches sight of Pilar and Laura and wants to know what they’re doing there. Pilar immediately tosses the pregnancy test over the counter (heh) and tells Dunoff that they were there to buy painkillers — but you know, her headache has mysteriously passed! So they’ll just be leaving now! She and Laura run out and leave the test behind. See, this is really why Feli should woman up and do things herself.
Dunoff steps up to the counter after they leave, and a new cashier — because I guess the doctor who was originally helping them didn’t feel like finishing this scene? — is like, “Oh, were those girls with you? Here’s the pregnancy test they were buying!” Dunoff starts hyperventilating and nearly collapses in the pharmacy.
Pilar and Laura go back to school and they’re like, “Welp, I guess Feli’s screwed.” Heh. Laura’s mom comes by and tells Laura that she’s here to talk to Dunoff about excusing Lola from her finals, so that Mrs. Arregui can take her to Europe. Laura’s like, “Wow, I guess I just have to stay here and get fucked, then.” She gently suggests that Lola doesn’t even want to go to Europe, and Mrs. Arregui’s like, “Well, that’s just too bad for her.” She snaps that she’s not going to let some rando take Lola away from her, and Laura’s like, “Uh, I think Lola chose her bio mom over you, on account of all the emotional abuse you heaped on for years.” Mrs. Arregui yells at Laura for speaking the truth letting Lola betray her like this.
Back at school, Tomás yells at Guido that Pilar’s pregnant and he has no idea what he’s going to do. Guido snarks at him for forgetting to wear a condom, and Tomás is like, “I did wear a condom!” Wow, so Pilar and Tomás have been having sex this entire time? I guess their relationship doesn’t warrant a dramatic scene of overwrought dialogue the way all of Manuel and Mia’s attempts to have sex did, although we should probably be grateful for that. Tomás wonders why Pilar hasn’t told him yet, and tasks Guido with finding out “everything” from Laura. What’s everything? Laura wasn’t there when you guys had sex!
Laura tells Lola about their mom’s visit and says that Lola’s going to have to do something to stop Mrs. Arregui from taking her to Europe. She suggests asking Mari (Lola’s bio mom) for help, which is weird because I thought she was sick? Whatever. Lola and Laura run off to call her. I hope there are no long-distance fees for calling to Jujuy!
Back in Lujan’s room, she’s gotten under the covers and Javier tells her to get some sleep, while stroking her leg over the blankets. WEIRD. She asks him not to tell anyone about this and he’s like, “Of course I won’t!” I bet he will, though. He offers to stay and massage her to sleep — also weird — and when she asks why he’s doing all this, he says it’s because she’s the only person who ships Javier/Marizza and not Pablo/Marizza. Lujan is like, “Team Javier forever!” because she is a horrible judge of character.
In his office, Dunoff’s breakdown continues. Mama D tries to get him to calm down and he’s like, “CALM??? I’m in the middle of an embezzlement scandal and my daughter is pregnant by a guy who can barely spell his own name!” He vows to wring Tomás’s neck the next time he sees him. Then Pilar comes in — rubbing her stomach for some reason, which of course only makes her parents freak out more — and Dunoff yells at her to explain how she got pregnant. Pilar starts laughing and says that she and Laura were buying the pregnancy test to play a prank on Guido, but then they changed their mind and decided to not do it. As you do! Besides, she can’t be pregnant, because she’s on her period right now — remember when she asked Mama D to buy her all those pads? She can’t help having a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina! Dunoff’s like, “I believe you, please stop talking about your uterus.”
Meanwhile, Feli is still waiting at Lalo’s kiosk for Pilar and Laura. Hee. Why doesn’t Lalo just buy the test, since the kiosk is apparently like two blocks away from the pharmacy? And — okay, two seconds later he offers to buy it himself when he has a minute, after Laura calls and tells Feli that they got busted at the pharmacy. I hate when the men on this show are mildly responsible and ruin the insults I have for them.
At Casa Colucci, Sonia is stretching and doing some dance moves when Papa C comes to sit by her. He apparently doesn’t find her sudden re-interest in dancing weird at all, because he just wants to know what she thinks about the Papa B situation. She starts going off about the absolute audacity and how he clearly has just bought all his TV appearances to look good. Papa C’s like, “That’s not what I’m talking about at all, were you even listening?” Sonia admits that she wasn’t, and Papa C explains that they’ll be looking into Papa B’s ownership of Elite Way, and if they find anything strange, they’re going to close the school. I mean…they could also just remove him as owner or give control back to the school board? Anyway, then Papa C gets a call from Miranda, asking him to meet tomorrow.
Guido comes back and tells Tomás that he didn’t talk to Laura, but he heard that Dunoff and Mama D have dragged Pilar into the office for a meeting. He starts panicking that Dunoff is going to kill him, and Guido’s like, “Well, maybe you should ask Pilar if she’s really pregnant first, dad.” “DON’T CALL ME DAD!” Tomás shrieks. Hee.
Over in the girls’ hallway, Feli’s mom and bodyguards have finally picked up that she’s not here. Feli’s mom yells at the mustachioed bodyguard — who is the only one allowed to have any lines — that he better find Feli now, except then Feli walks up a second later. She lies and says that she went out to clear her head, and she decided on her walk that her mom is right: Feli can’t date a waiter; they’re from different worlds. Feli’s mom is like, “Well, that is some unexpected good news!” She gushes that she’ll put Feli on a new diet straightaway so that Feli can get Maxi back.
Tomás goes to see Pilar and asks if she has anything to tell him. She’s like, “Uh…that I love you, and that you’re cute, and that I really wanted to see you?” Aw! I love them! Tomás is like, “Is there anything else?” and Pilar’s like, “No?” then kisses him. Tomás is presumably distracted by her tongue and doesn’t ask any more questions. Poor dumb Tomás.
That night, Lujan leaves to go see Blas again. Marcos intercepts her on her way out and tells her that there’s no point in waiting all night for him to wake up. “Did I ask for your opinion? Then don’t give it to me,” Lujan snipes. Then Javier rocks up and is all, “I’m here to enable you, Lujan, unlike your ex-boyfriend!” He and Lujan are going to the hospital together, and Marcos is all jealous that they’re hanging out and that Lujan told Javier about Blas. Lujan gets in another dig that Javier never pressured her to tell him anything; she trusts him and told him about Blas of her own free will. They flounce off while Marcos scowls.
In the girls’ room, Sol asks if Feli if she overheard any calls for Sol today — say, from Maxi, for example. Feli tells Sol that Maxi is a good guy (is he, though?) and that Sol is going to hurt him if she’s leading him on — which Feli knows that she is. Sol snaps that Feli is just mad that Maxi’s ditched her for Sol. Then some random girl comes in with a wrapped present for Feli — presumably the test from Lalo — plus a phone call from Maxi. “That’s for me,” Sol says. “No, it’s for Feli,” the random girl says. Heh. Burn, Sol.
Laura sits in the library, emoing over her earlier fight with her mom. Across the lounge, Tomás watches her and tells Guido, “Look how worried she is! It’s because Pilar’s pregnant!” Guido tells him to calm down, since Pilar would surely tell him if something’s wrong. “She’s pretty reserved,” Tomás says. Guido: “Reserved? She’s the school’s biggest gossip.” HA! Tomás tells Guido to go ask Laura about Pilar.
Laura is working on some homework about El Niño — the weather phenomenon — and says a bunch of easily misinterpretable things about how it always brings disaster even when it’s expected. Guido’s like, “Yeah, kids are like that, huh?” and Laura’s like, “What?” Guido gives up the game and says that he knows about the pregnancy, because the father told him. Love how he conveniently isn’t using any names here!
Lujan parks herself at Blas’s side while Javier hovers around behind her, occasionally staring evilly at her and Blas but mostly doing nothing. It’d be pretty dark if Javier’s plot to hurt Lujan involved pulling the plug on Blas’s respirator or something. I might actually have to start liking Javier if he gets rid of Blas.
Feli psyches herself up to take the pregnancy test, but just as she and Pilar are about to go to the bathroom, Laura comes in to Feli’s room. She tells them that Lalo told Guido everything, which Feli immediately doesn’t believe. Wow, for once a girl’s unyielding faith in her boyfriend turns out to be the right move! Laura says that Guido knows about the pregnancy test — what, that they…have one? — and Feli immediately starts having a breakdown. Pilar, God love her, grabs Feli and says that important thing is just to take the stupid test and find out whether or not she’s pregnant, and then we can all move on with this subplot.
Over in the boys’ room, Guido confirms to Tomás that the girls indeed bought a pregnancy test. Tomás has a nightmare wherein Pilar is…dressed up like a jester and opens her top to show him her pregnant belly? Actually, that’s a pretty accurate depiction of a trippy nightmare, so fair enough, although I know they just dug out a bunch of old costumes from Cris Morena’s child entertainment vault.
Feli takes the pregnancy test and makes Laura go in to look at the result for her. Laura hems and haws and Feli’s like, “You would only be dancing around the answer if it was positive.” So yeah, she’s pregnant, with the Law of Inverse Fertility in full effect. Pilar, who’s been having sex with Tomás for at least 100 episodes with zero consequences, is like, “That’s rough, buddy.”
The next day, Michi announces to Dunoff that she’s arranged everything for their new girls’ soccer league, and the rival team will be arriving tomorrow. Dunoff snarls that they should just go straight to her hotel, and Michi’s like, “Oh, well…we kind of already offered to let them stay here, you know, for the cross-sociocenomic bonding.” Dunoff wails that the last thing this school needs is more teenagers wreaking havoc, which is honestly fair enough. Michi says that she’ll personally make sure that nothing bad happens. Oh, Michi. I would not make that kind of promise regarding any of these kids.
Laura tells Guido that the test came out positive, and he’s about to panic, but he’s cut off by the arrival of Nicolas Cage. Nicolas Cage wants to know why Guido hasn’t called him, to which Guido totally throws Laura under the bus. I can’t believe she’s going to hook up with him after this. Love yourself, Laura! Anyway, Nicolas Cage drags Guido off to finally have their talk, which I can only hope is code for something bad. Guido begs Laura to help him, and she’s just like, “No.” Hee.
In Mia’s room, Feli is crying and refusing to get out of bed. She wails that she’s going to be expelled if they find out she’s pregnant, and since Guido already knows, there’s no way it’s going to stay secret for long. And then, of course, Laura comes in and admits that she told Guido that the test was positive. Fucking Laura! She bleats that telling him was the only option; she had to do it! Did you, Laura? All she had to do was keep her trap shut for the 2 seconds that it took Nicolas Cage to show up and distract Guido. “But Agustina’s dad is here and he wants to kill Guido, so that should solve it,” Laura adds. Okay, hee.
Nicolas Cage tells Guido that all Agustina has told him is that she doesn’t want to date Guido anymore — she was crying too hard to say anything else. As such, Nicolas Cage is only here to tell him that Guido better not go anywhere near Agustina anymore, and he has no plans to beat Guido up for trying to get into Agustina’s pants. Nicolas Cage cackles that Agustina is probably going to go back to Diego now, then slaps Guido on the back and walks off. And that’s the entirety of the consequences Guido faces. I truly hate him.
Miranda goes to Casa Colucci to discuss Papa B’s downfall further. Papa C wants to know what, exactly, Miranda’s stake in all this is — how does he know Miranda’s not secretly working for Papa B? Miranda shrugs and says Papa C is just going to have to trust him. Then he leaves without them actually talking about their plan — because why bother telling us what they’re up to! — and Sonia’s director, Sammy, calls the house. Papa C picks up and Sammy starts rambling about how he can’t find Sonia anywhere, and he needs her to come see him now so they can work out her outfit for the premiere. Papa C’s like, “What premiere?” and Sammy’s like, “For the theater show we’re putting on behind your back, duh!” I swear, didn’t Sonia tell him that it had to be secret earlier? I guess Sonia can’t be a secret burlesque dancer the way her children are secret pop stars.
Tomás finally drags Pilar off to have a talk about the pregnancy — him thinking that it’s hers, and Pilar thinking that Guido is just telling God and everyone that Feli is pregnant. Tomás assures Pilar that he’ll stand by her, which Belen and Sol overhear by way of those weird plastic windows in the cafeteria. Naturally, they run off to spread the gossip before hearing the next part: Pilar promises Tomás he can be the godfather (I hope Lalo didn’t have any friends or relatives he wanted to give that honor to?) and Tomás is like, “Am I not the father?” and Pilar’s like, “Are you telling me you slept with Feli?” and Tomás is like “What? No!” and Pilar’s like, “Well, then how are you the father!” and Tomás is like, “Because you’re pregnant!” and finally, finally someone just flat out says that Feli is the pregnant one. Proper nouns are your friends, guys! Anyway, Laura runs up and pulls Pilar away to talk more, leaving Tomás confused — as ever — in their wake.
Lola calls her bio mom, but Mari’s roommate or whoever tells her that Mari’s packed up and left, and they don’t know to where.
Laura and Pilar try to sneak Lalo into the school, as Feli is having another breakdown about seeing him. Their super-subtle method involves wheeling him in using a wheelbarrow, with a blanket covering him. Naturally, Dunoff picks that moment to leave his office. He’s suspicious of the wheelbarrow, but Pilar BSes that they’re just carting stuff from the garden around, you know, for a bet. Admittedly, these kids make so many stupid bets with each other that that’s almost believable. Dunoff seems to think so, anyway, because he lets them go.
Sol immediately wants to discuss the best way to sell Pilar out to Dunoff, and Belen’s like, “Why do you want to hurt her, Sol? We all used to be friends!” Sol’s like, “Because I’m a two-dimensional villain, keep up.” Just kidding. She snipes that used to are the operative words, and getting Pilar expelled from school will be the perfect revenge for…some betrayal or another. I don’t even remember why they all stopped being friends. Belen says that they don’t even know if it’s Pilar who’s pregnant, so they better keep their mouths shut.
Then Fernanda comes in and brags to Sol that she’s not the only model around here anymore. Sol’s immediately, “Don’t tell me Mia got a modelling job!” Heh. Thanks for remembering Mia exists, Sol. But really, Mia’s a nationally famous pop star by now, she doesn’t need any of Sol’s modelling jobs. Fernanda’s annoyed that Sol doesn’t even consider that she might be the model in questions, so she flounces off without telling either of them about her and Pilar’s modelling career.
Laura finds Guido and tells him that if Dunoff asks if he’s lost a bet with her and Pilar, Guido should say “yes” and roll with it. Guido snipes that she didn’t help him at all with Agustina’s dad, so he’s not going to do shit for her. Except Laura did, in fact, talk to Agustina’s dad on the phone when Guido was too scared to do it, and it’s not like she could hold him off forever. Also, why tf should Laura help Guido evade the consequences for trying to pressure his 14-year-old girlfriend into sex? I hate him.
Lalo goes to see Feli and tells her that he’ll stick with her and they’ll get through this pregnancy thing together. Feli just keeps crying, so Lalo asks what she wants to do. He reassures her that he’s just thrilled about this baby thing, but she keeps crying and saying that she’s scared. Then they…don’t really talk about it further, and Lalo says that he’ll just have to be the upbeat one in this relationship. I mean, okay, but they didn’t really resolve whether or not Feli actually wants to have this baby, you know?
For what it’s worth, I think Feli’s fear is quite realistic and it’s nice that supportive speeches from her friends and Lalo don’t magically make her ready to have a baby at the age of sixteen. That said…this is still a Feli subplot and I can’t bring myself to care that much. LOL.
Feli switches to talking about the rumor that Guido knows she’s pregnant, and Lalo swears that he didn’t tell him. Do Lalo and Guido even know each other? Feli worries that the rumor’s already made its way around school and she’ll get expelled. Lalo reassures her once again that everything will be fine, although he does ask what she plans to do about the coming year. (That would be fifth year, their final year before college, although this show ends with the fourth year anyway, so who cares!) Feli sniffles that she doesn’t know — even if she doesn’t get expelled, how is a single mom supposed to live in the school dorms? Lalo’s all offended that she called herself a single mother, because obviously he’s planning to marry her. Well, Lalo, it’s not that obvious if you don’t actually ask her to marry you. Anyway, Feli gushingly accepts, and then of course Sol walks in. Feli asks her not to tell Dunoff that Lalo is here in her room, and Sol agrees to keep her trap shut in exchange for an unspecified future favor from Feli.
Fernanda tells Pilar that their first modelling job was such a success, the photographer wants to work with them again on a catalogue for the brand. Pilar’s hesitant about doing more modelling, since that will just increase the likelihood of Dunoff and Tomás finding out. Fernanda’s like, “But think of the money!” and reassures her that Dunoff and Tomás will never find out. I bet they will, though.
At the hospital, Javier wakes Lujan up and says that they have to leave. Lujan strokes Blas’s face and creeps that she can just tell that his facial expression is changing, because he’s totally alive and conscious. “Yes, I can see,” Javier deadpans. Heh. He does not give a shit. He leaves Lujan alone for a few minutes while he waits for Miranda to come pick them up, which gives Lujan enough time to give Blas an inspirational speech about not giving up. Lujan, he was in a head-on collision with a mack truck.
Of course, the more fool I, because this is a telenovela, and Lujan has a vision of Blas waking up and talking to her. Not sure if she’s just hallucinating or if he’s meant to be telepathically communicating with her or what, but he’s all glowing and shit. He tells her that she’s special and deserves to be loved. “And I know you’ll find someone,” he tells her. Seriously, Blas? You’re putting all this effort into a final telepathic communication to talk about Lujan’s LOVE LIFE? Anyway, he babbles a bit more about how he was just trying to prove his dad wrong about how awesome Lujan was, but she is awesome and Blas has just been a dick. He begs her forgiveness so that he can move on in peace, and Lujan cries at him not to leave her. When Miranda walks in, though, all he sees is Lujan crying over Blas’s unconscious body.
Lujan keeps insisting that she can talk to Blas, and Miranda finally is like, “Yes, I’m sure you can.” Nevertheless, he tells her that if she loves Blas she has to let him go. Then he leaves her alone anyway so that she can continue monologuing. This time Lujan tells Blas that despite “everything” (read: his insane abuse of her and all the other students in that school), she’s learned to love him now. That’s called Stockholm Syndrome, Lujan.
Also, like…did we ever really figure out what happened to Blas? Like why he was sent to that place where he was abused? Was that an orphanage after his dad died? Oh well, who cares.
Sonia comes home to Casa Colucci, and Papa C confronts her about the show. She tries to explain that she wanted to help pay the bills, and he’s all, “I’d rather go bankrupt and have both of our children starve than see you return to show business!” Jesus. I mean, Sonia thinking that she could keep her entire career secret from Papa C was stupid, but he knew what her job was when he got involved with her, and he’s bein’ real sexist about not allowing other men to see his woman’s midriff. Sonia doesn’t try to argue this with him, though, so Papa C snaps that he’s leaving and storms out.
Sol calls Maxi to the school and tells him that Feli is cheating on him. She caught Feli with Lalo in their bedroom, and they spent all day locked up in there together! What else could they have been doing! Maxi is all crushed, like he didn’t know Feli’s been dating Lalo this entire time? I don’t know.
Blas wakes up just long enough to flashback to all the scenes he had with Lujan right before the car crash, and then he flatlines while staring off into the distance. Damn.
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