Full of Salt

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Nancy Drew: Labyrinth of Lies (Part Three)

Previously on Nancy Drew: Labyrinth of Lies: I don’t think Xenia and her friends are a real acting troupe, guys. Not sure what tipped us off, their weird and bizarre interest in the security of the museum, their sneaking around the museum, or the sheer amateur-ness of the play they’re putting on.

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So we just saw Niobe go into a secret passageway. I can’t believe she found it before Nancy Drew. We’re slacking, man. Anyway, let’s follow her! We approach the panel, and it’s locked by a puzzle, naturally. Nancy says that we have to make it so that only lightning bolts are showing. To do that, we have to rotate the top disk so that it covers up the tridents.

The panel opens, and we find ourselves in a tunnel. When we follow it to the end, we find a door, which leads to the workshop backstage. As before, the alarm goes off, and Thanos busts us with a “WHATAREYOUDOING?” Okay, so we have to figure out the alarm code before we go back there.

The clues to solving the workshop alarm puzzle are in Tartarus. We have to go back in there and go to the room with the pool and the jug of water, where we find this piece of paper: “To enter the workshop, you must understand art. To understand art, you must understand the artist…The artist leaves fingerprints on everything she touches. All circles connect.” Okay, so basically we have to do a puzzle involving Niobe’s fingerprints on the alarm in the workshop.

The notes in Tartarus say “All circles” connect, which means that we have to click on the circles and connect them all in unbroken lines. We can get a hint of where some of the lines are from Niobe’s fingerprints. Points for having a realistic puzzle, too, since this is the same mechanism as some phone locks.

Now that the alarm’s off, we can explore. We open up a cabinet to find a bunch of unfired vases, as well as Niobe’s notes: “Why always war on the vases? Maybe they were like a news broadcast…’Hey, have you seen the latest vase?…It’s the usual, there’s war, there is no shirts.’” Heh. Niobe emos that being in the museum makes her wonder if the master artists back then would have liked her. I mean, if they found out you were forging their art, probably not, Niobe. Damn, you guys, I’m pretty thirsty for validation myself, but even I draw the line at wanting validation from people who have been dead for two thousand years.

We can poke around the workshop some more — we want to steal this charcoal stick here. There’s also another cabinet with some finished vases in it, and a note from Melina telling Niobe that the donors have approved her to make reproductions as props. Niobe’s added a note saying, “First entry – bookcase, second entry – cast in Greek alphabetical order.” We’ll deal with this later.

Let’s check out that mysterious red lining of Grigor’s bag. It’s a secret compartment in the flap, and we just reach in and pull out a sheet of paper. Damn, Grigor, you’re not even trying. Like, at least protect the evidence of your wrongdoing with a puzzle (Just kidding, don’t do that. If I see one more puzzle I’m going to cry.)

The paper is an “audition call sheet for the role of Plutus.” Nancy will note that Plutus isn’t a character in the Peresphone myth. The call sheet has a bunch of names listed, and the pieces they’ll be reading: one guy will be reading “Winged Victory” and another will be reading “The Tale of Seven Coins.” Wow, it sure is weird that these pieces have the same names as certain works of Greek art!

This game isn’t subtle.

Anyway, Nancy says that we should run this by Frank and Joe, so let’s do that. We call them, and Frank immediately tells us that Thanos might be listening, and we should only say what they tell us to say. Nancy pretends to make small talk while the Hardy Boys tell us that Thanos is DEFINITELY in the Greek mafia and has DEFINITELY put cement overcoats on a few people. So they tell us to…ask him about Kronos. Damn, Hardys, are you trying to get Nancy killed? I know she’s more popular than you guys, but please relax. Frank tells us that if Thanos alerts Kronos that Nancy’s onto them, then the Hardys and “the Network” are going to get Nancy out of there right away. If Thanos doesn’t say anything, he presumably doesn’t think Nancy’s a threat and will leave her alone.

I should add that the Network that they keep referring to is the organization that the Hardy Boys work for in their books. It used to be called ATAC — and previous games referenced ATAC — which stood for “American Teens Against Crime,” which is the corniest name in the history of this green earth. There’s an optional conversation about it where Joe bitters that the FBI doesn’t like to admit that they need teenagers to help them solve mysteries, so they changed the name. I mean, who the hell are these other teenagers working for ATAC? It’s always been just the Hardys, and I’d be embarrassed to admit that I needed their help, too. I’m embarrassed that we need it in this game.

After that, let’s call Melina and ask what the fuck is up with letting Niobe copy the art. She tells us that, as the play is mostly a publicity stunt for the museum, they wanted to get people interested in actually going to the museum by showing the pieces onstage — but not like, the real pieces, of course. Niobe’s not supposed to be using certain materials or colors, so that they can’t be confused with the real artifacts. That’s actually a pretty sensible explanation for how this all got started. I’m impressed. Anyway, Melina thinks Niobe’s done a good job copying-but-not-copying, but the owners of the museum have been killing her softly over the issue, so she’s not a fan of how it all turned out.

We bring up that we saw Niobe entering the secret museum door, and Melina’s like, “What secret door?” She’s perturbed that Niobe knows about a secret door that she doesn’t, and asks us to keep an eye on her. Damn, Melina, we’ve only got two eyes.

Alright, so remember way back when, when Melina told us that she wanted us to become experts on provenance? Let’s go do that. This is probably my favorite bit of the game; it’s the kind of geeky note-taking, cross-referencing puzzle that I enjoy. I think any time these games resemble an actual mystery — like Alibi in Ashes — I’m all over it.

To prove the provenance of the pieces, we have to take pictures of them, then find the documentation of them being received into the museum and see if it matches up with all the other information we have. So, for example, this necklace here was supposedly received by Stavros on July 2nd, and it’s on loan from the State Museum. We enter this information in the system, and the system will either confirm that it matches the information we have, or deny it.

We get to this vase, and enter that it was received by Sophia on June 30th. But if you’ll recall her time card, she wasn’t working that day — the system tells us that a time gap has been indicated, and it can’t confirm the provenance of the piece. Oh snap!

Let’s call the Hardy Boys and see if they have anything to say about this. They don’t, but they do offer to look up the names on Grigor’s list for us. So we’ll have to call them back in a bit about that.

Speaking of, let’s finally go talk to Grigor. He’s gotten over being mad at us about the fly system, but now he’s mad at us for looking in his bag. “Did you like what you found in my bag?” he snaps at us. Heh. There was a lot of damning evidence in that bag, so…yes, actually. Nancy says she has to keep tabs on everything that happens at the museum, and Grigor snipes, “Oh, then let me help you. The museum is on the exterior of the bag. The interior of the bag? NOT THE MUSEUM.” Ha! I love when suspects call Nancy out for being nosy. It was for the greater good, Grigor! (The greater good!)

While we’re out here making Grigor uncomfortable, let’s also tell him that we know all about his shady past, and he breaks down and tells us his whole story. He survived the foster care system by studying each of his foster parents and changing his personality to fit into their family, which is how he started ~acting. One day, he was caught stealing a warm jacket from a theater. In the best Dickensian tradition, the owner of the theater caught him and took him in. The owner’s name was Grigor, and Grigor changed his name in honor of him.

I mean, clearly OG Grigor didn’t do enough to steer Grigor away from a life of crime, because here we are, but whatever.

We ask Grigor if he knows anything about the stolen art, but he denies having anything to do with it. He tells us that the police searched all their hotels and cars already, and didn’t find anything. Well, then, why are you casting the role of Plutus, Grigor? Nancy pushes that Plutus isn’t originally in the Persephone myth, and it’s certainly a little late to be casting now, and there isn’t even a reference to him in the script, so don’t try acting like you just wrote him out. Grigor yells at us that FINE, they’re his angel investors who were going to invest in his dream of opening his own theater, and now Nancy’s blown it for him. The Hardy Boys are going to call them and embarrass the hell out of Grigor, and now his dream is dead, and it’s our fault. “If you have nothing to hide, then you have nothing to worry about,” Nancy snips at him. Nancy tells people to talk to the police, doesn’t she?

Anyway, Grigor is mad at us again, some more, and storms off. But he leaves his tablet behind! Let’s read through all his secrets again!

The first note is about how Thanos is compromising the “messenger” role, and Grigor is big mad at him. To punish him, he’s “locked away [Thanos’s] access”, whatever that means. Grigor’s all, “He’ll NEVER GUESS to SOLVE THE PUZZLE IN THE JEWELRY DISPLAY BY ARRANGING THE TILES TO SHOW SEVEN GEMSTONES IN EACH SQUARE.” Smooth, writers.

Grigor’s next note frets that things aren’t going too well, and maybe it’s time to take out “insurance.” He tells us to look to the stone tokens, and then he gives some really complicated instructions for a puzzle that I’ll deal with later.

Let’s go see how Xenia is doing. She asks us for a favor: she’s been so busy with rehearsals, she hasn’t had time to arrange the timecards for the actors. So if we could just clock the troupe in and out for the past few days, and do it between regular museum operating hours and not at all at any times that would implicate them in crime, that would be great.

I’M ONTO YOU, XENIA.

Let’s go find that box Grigor was talking about. We unlock the coin display using a key next to the display case — A+ security — and find a box inside. Opening the box shows this puzzle on the lid. There are two sets of tiles, and the idea is that they’re mirrors of each other — so when the hinged lid is closed, the far left tiles will be superimposed over the far right tiles, and the inner tiles over each other, etc. So we want to arrange the tiles so that each superimposed tile will have 7 gems on it. For example, in the image above, see how the far bottom left tile on the left panel has 6 gems, and the right bottom tile in the right panel has 1? We want to do that for all the tiles.

When that’s done, we find a tile that matches a puzzle down in the Tartarus set. I didn’t show you a picture of the puzzle because I’m a dumbass and also because this is a very puzzle-heavy game and that would take forever, but anyway, we’ll go do that later.

After that, I call the Hardy Boys to see if they found out anything about Grigor’s angel investors. Guess what, they’re not angel investors at all! Frank and Joe tell us that the people on the list are all very wealthy and have extensive art collections. Extensive art collections that they acquired through CRIME? Anyway, we’ll have to talk to Grigor again about this.

We can’t confront Grigor, though, because he’s trying to confront us. “Why are you here?” he asks. “Unlike you, I’m rich and can fuck off to Greece whenever I feel like,” Nancy doesn’t say. Bizarrely, we don’t really say much in our own defense — Nancy’s just like, “Deal with it, Grigor,” and then we change the subject to Niobe. We tell Grigor about seeing her sneaking around the museum, and he’s like, “Whatever, secret passageways are just poorly advertised doors.” Post that to r/showerthoughts, Grigor.

We bring up Niobe’s art forgery past, and Grigor leaps to her defense, saying that Niobe just hid behind her friend’s work because she was timid, and Niobe’s friend should be the one in trouble for putting her name on Niobe’s work. Okay, that’s…actually pretty true. It’s not like Niobe’s friend was already famous and Niobe was making money by selling forged copies of her work; Niobe’s friend literally got Niobe to paint art and then passed it off as her own.

We also bring up that we can’t seem to find any critical reviews or references to any of the actors’ past work. Grigor BSes that their performances are more like historical reenactments, and no one reviews those. Right, I forgot about that part in Greek mythology where Hermes monologues at Demeter about irony. The Greeks were very into Alanis. On the other hand, is it THAT suspicious that no one went to see One-Man Oedipus?

Grigor peers at us and muses that, what with all of his life training reading people, he’s figured out that something is up with Nancy. It’s the brain damage, Grigor. He thinks we have an agenda, and he’s looked us up and noticed that we’ve had a lot of shenanigans in our several years of being 18. He asks us if trouble is going to occur here at the museum, and Nancy says, “I don’t think so.” What? Nancy, trouble is definitely already happening here, come on. Grigor asks us to warn him if anything is about to go down. Nancy agrees. Nancy, why would — isn’t he a — oh my God, whatever.

Goddamn, this is a long conversation. Okay, next we mention that there’s like no security here, despite the fact that the museum is safeguarding a bunch of priceless ancient Greek artifacts. Grigor calls us on being here to investigate the stolen art, and wants to know how we know Melina. I’d like to know that too, Grigor. Nancy vagues that we just happened to be available to help, and Grigor’s like, “You just happened to be here? Bro, you’re not even Greek.” Neither are you, Grigor! Or Xenia, for that matter. Only God, Thanos, and Niobe can judge me.

Despite all this weirdness, Grigor tells us that he’ll help us if he can. I mean, I guess, but…I just can’t take a guy wearing mini-antlers seriously. I’m sorry. I can’t.

We have a new message from Melina, telling us that the museum is now on lockdown. I get the sense that this is supposed to impart a sense of urgency and danger into the final act, but since everyone pretty much keeps going about their business as usual, it feels a little anticlimactic. I’m reminded of Secret of the Scarlet Hand, which also took place in a museum, and the way our suspects were removed from the museum until only Nancy was left by the end. That was really spooky and effective, but this game doesn’t quite manage it.

Let’s go check out the workshop some more. Now that we’ve found all of Niobe’s stuff, we can meet Niobe herself there — she’s not wearing her costume, so we finally have a character who isn’t dressing up like a caricature of a Greek person from a Carmen Sandiego game.

Bizarrely, Niobe isn’t at all upset that we’ve found her super-secret forgery workshop. Instead, she gushes at us that we look just like Anaxandra — one of the best painters from ancient Greece! She was so good, she has a crater named after her. “Oh, wow, that’s just great,” Nancy says, very sarcastically. It’s kind of unnecessarily dickish, but then it turns out that Niobe’s compliment is just a segue into her making us do work for her, so she deserves it.

Niobe tells us that she needs us to paint some designs onto a prop vase. Luckily for us, by “paint” she means “stamp a bunch of designs,” and zero hand-eye coordination is needed at all. I can’t believe we put these vases in museums. Clearly, they aren’t that hard to make. Once we’re done with the vase, we put it in the kiln to fire, then leave it alone for a bit.

After I’m done with that, I try to talk to Niobe again, and she shuts us down with a “WHAT NOW?” Jesus, Niobe, chill out. Anyway, she asks if we’ve ever been on stage, and Nancy’s like, “A few times.” Nancy, literally standing on a stage while solving crime doesn’t count. Niobe frets about the show some more, and Nancy’s like, “So…why are you even doing it?” and Niobe says that, when she first signed up for it months ago, she thought it would be a chance to grow. I hear you, Niobe. Self-improvement is a pain in the ass.

We ask her what the workshop is for, again, some more. Niobe becomes like the sixth person to tell us that the troupe is using prop imitations of the art pieces — not fakes, because THAT would be WRONG and ILLEGAL. “The last thing the museum wants is confusion about what’s real and what’s not,” Niobe says. Hmm, but I bet confusion about what’s real would be very helpful for getting away with art theft, NIOBE.

The next bit of the game involves the underworld, so we have to go get the remote back. Since we’re already in the workshop under the stage, we can exit through the sets and take the boat back to the dock where Thanos is. Thanos has put the remote in the yellow box near the lift controls. In order to unlock the box, we have to connect the amount of lines to each knob as the number indicated. So, for example, the knobs with “2” written on them have to only have 2 lines total connected to them, from all directions.

Haha, fuck you, Thanos! You can’t keep Nancy Drew down!

Now that the remote is back in hand, let’s go taunt Thanos. I love harassing mafiosos in my free time! He snipes that it’s very enterprising of us to have found another way down, and now we should fuck off and leave him alone. Okay, but…no. He adds that we shouldn’t believe Grigor’s sad stories — yes, he knows that we’ve been asking around about everyone, because “[our] contacts have contacts.” “No one is ever far out of reach,” he adds. “Of who?” Nancy asks. Thanos: “Me.” Creepy!

Pretty sure the Hardy Boys told us that if Thanos told us that he was onto us, we’re supposed to bail out of here to avoid being murdered by the Greek mafia, but whatever. Let’s keep asking questions! We ask if this is Thanos’s first acting job, and he says it is, but he’s not nervous because playing a god of death isn’t acting for him. O…kay. Then, oddly, he says that hanging around the Underworld set makes him a little nervous, because it makes him think about his own mortality, and how a LOT of angry people are waiting for him after he dies. That doesn’t sound very god of death-like to me.

Anyway, we’re like, “So if you’re this hardcore mafia dude, why do you take orders from a Type A theater kid?” Thanos tells us that he sees a future in Xenia. We also ask about his thoughts on Grigor, and Thanos says that Grigor thinks he can outsmart Thanos, but he can’t. Yeah, having talked to Grigor extensively…probably not.
We can also talk to him about the art thefts — Thanos tells us that the troupe was cleared, and maybe we should be looking at Melina. Nancy’s like, “I agree that she is doing the absolute least to get her museum’s artifacts back, but other than that, she’s not really suspicious.”

Let’s talk about the play some more. The conversation trees in this game don’t make much sense. We ask if he thinks Hades is a good guy or a villain, and which telling of the myth Thanos prefers more. Nancy, do you really get the sense that Thanos has strong feelings about art and literature? Anyway, Thanos says that he doesn’t care for any of the versions; he thinks Persephone should eat all twelve seeds and live with Hades forever. Thanos is a Hades/Persephone shipper.

Holy God, this is a long conversation. Okay, let me just bullet point the rest of it, because otherwise we’ll be here forever:

  • Thanos won’t give us a tour of the set “while [we’re] still alive.” Not creepy at all. Nancy’s like, “Is that a metaphor?” and he’s like, “No.”
  • He tells us that Grigor’s role keeps expanding because Niobe can’t act, but he doesn’t know or care how Grigor feels about it.
  • He thinks it’s a good thing that Niobe is afraid of him, and also doesn’t care very much about the hows or whys of that, either. I mean, I guess he didn’t get into the murder business because he cares about feelings.
  • He knows Grigor is using a fake name, and also doesn’t care about that. Thanos, do you have opinions on anything besides Greek mythology ships?
  • We bring up that he’s killed people, and Thanos is like, “Yeah, and what about it?” Nancy says that it makes her uncomfortable, to which Thanos says, “Good.” He claims he was just doing his job, which involved riding in an armored car to protect a large amount of money. That sounds a lot less like private security and more like THE GREEK MAFIA. He says that he thought it would be more glamorous, but he never got to rob banks or anything — instead he was taught to “walk in ready to fight” in markets and restaurants. Okay, look, I don’t know that much about the mafia, and this conversation is really vague. I’m not entirely sure what exactly he’s referring to by this — I think he was security for a mob boss or something? I don’t know. Anyway, after he shot that dude in some sort of vague mafia struggle, the “pieces of paper” that trained him were gone, so he decided to fall in with an amateur theater-slash-crime group. As you do.
  • He’s not saying he’s going to kill us, but he IS saying that sticking around here is bad for our life, if we get his drift.
  • He owns up to being involved with Kronos — he kind of implies that it’s not of his own free will (“Some jobs you can quit. Some you cannot”) except he’s way too into the prospect of murdering Nancy, so I’m not sure I believe that.
  • He denies that Kronos is involved with the play, and Nancy’s like, “Okay, what about the art theft?” Thanos snarls that we think we know what we’re talking about, but we don’t.

Cool, and that’s it for Thanos. Let’s go do all the puzzles down here. You’ll recall that there’s a plaque down here with half formed letters on it. There are actually a bunch scattered around the sets, so let’s go put them together. We need a sheet of printer paper from Melina’s office to make the rubbings on, and we have a charcoal stick that we stole from Niobe’s workshop.

Doing the rubbings on all the plaques in the underworld — four in all — will create an image of the Greek alphabet, with the Latin counterparts for the letters beneath. That’s…it? We had to do a puzzle for that? Just Google it, Nancy.

Okay, whatever. Let’s just burn through as many puzzles as possible while we’re down here. In the room with the pool, we find this puzzle, which is the one that fits the tile we found in Grigor’s box. We then have to rotate and rearrange the tiles so that all the edges match. When the puzzle is done, a little compartment at the side opens, and we get a small key.

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And now…we have to do this puzzle. I don’t really know why. One of the dumb things about the amount of puzzles chucked into these later games is that you’re never really guided to them in a logical manner. Like, the puzzle is here. We might as well do it, because…we have to for the game to progress. I guess. The only hint that we want to do it now is that we now know how to transliterate Greek letters. Let me also point out that this is another game that is operating on the assumption that the player is in no way familiar with a foreign alphabet.

Anyway, this puzzle is a pain in the ass, and I remember the first time I played this game, eating Thai food in my apartment in college, contemplating quitting the game and doing my homework instead. Okay, not really. I contemplated playing The Sims 2 instead, but whatever.

Grigor’s tablet explained how this puzzle is supposed to work, but it was really long and boring and I don’t blame anyone who didn’t pay attention to it. Basically,  each letter on the board stands for a famous Greek person, and each person is associated with a symbol — for example, the Σ is the equivalent of the letter S, so it stands for “Sappho”, which is associated with the scroll, because Sappho was a writer. Matching the letters and the symbols is easy enough, but THAT’S NOT ALL! No, each letter also has a colored ring around it, and we have to shuffle them around the board so that they’re in the color space that matches the ring as well.

God, this puzzle is unnecessarily long. The pieces can only be moved around the board by being sent to free slots, so it’s like a slider puzzle on crack. AAAARRRGH.

Anyway, I lost several years of my life shuffling the pieces around aimlessly, hoping to eventually get them to the right places. After all that work and trouble, we finally get…

A slip of paper and a stamp. Wow, thanks. This really feels worth the effort.

Let’s call the Hardys and tell them that Thanos is a cold-blooded killer for real. They tell us to call them back, and they’ll have information for us.

I have nothing else to do, so I call them as soon as we hang up. Do you have information for me NOW, Hardys? For some reason, we’re all willing to give Thanos the benefit of the doubt, and Nancy and the Hardys wax on about how if Thanos was really just doing his job, then he must feel super bad about the whole murder thing. He probably cries himself to sleep every night! I mean, he sure seems willing to kill us, Nancy, so let’s not get carried away by his goodness here.

We also tell them about Grigor’s list, and how he told us that it was actually a list of angel investors, so uh…we might’ve just killed his dream. Frank and Joe are like, “Well, then let’s hope that Grigor is a remorseless criminal so you don’t have to face any consequences for your actions.”

So, the point: is the Greek mafia coming after Nancy now or not? The Hardys aren’t sure, because the Hardy Boys are, as ever, useless. They tell us they haven’t heard anything, so maybe Thanos hasn’t said anything, or maybe he’s not involved with Kronos anymore. Either way, they tell us to “stay sharp.” Don’t tell me what to do, Hardys.

We go back to chat with Niobe, and in the workshop, we see this bit of a sphinx vase in the kiln. Uh, that looks awfully like an actual vase from the museum, Niobe. Niobe?

We confront her, and she promptly loses her shit on us, yelling that we don’t know what we’re talking about, and WHY ARE WE EVEN DOWN HERE ANYWAY. Nancy’s like, “You…you asked me to help, Niobe.” Hee.  She kicks us out of her studio.

Alrighty, so after Niobe kicks us out, we can go down the tunnel and find this puzzle. It has to do with that note of Niobe’s that we found, saying “second entry – cast in Greek alphabetical order.” We want to enter the cast’s names, using Greek letters, in Greek alphabetical order. You can find the order on the rubbing that we made.

This opens the door and lets us go back into the museum, which seems like a very anticlimactic result for a puzzle that took us so long to get to.

You’ll recall, way back in part 1, that the box holding the Persephone in Winter poster is locked. The key we found in the flower puzzle unlocks it, and we can take the poster out and read what’s written on the back. The letter to the “VIPs” tells them to “gather the treasures of Greece” during the play, and then to leave before the final bow. That sounds like code for “steal the museum’s art” to me! Nancy says that we need to call Melina.

We call Melina. She’s not too thrilled when we start subtly suggesting that we suspect her, but eventually admits that she’s glad that Nancy cares about the museum as much as she does. And no, she didn’t steal the art. HMMM. Well, they already did “the phone friend is the villain” twist in a previous game, so it seems unlikely that Melina is the culprit.

Moving on, we tell her that we REALLY think that the actors are swapping real art with the reproductions they made for the props. Melina tells us that we have to find proof by testing the items for authenticity. There’s a database on the computer we can use — Melina tells us that the password is “Calliope”, and I think this game is where I learned how to finally pronounce that name, embarrassingly enough. In the meantime, Melina’s going to go to the police.

The database on the computer tells us how to perform the various tests on each artifact, and also gives us images of how authentic materials appear in the tests.

One of the tests we can do for gold involves rubbing a piece of unglazed pottery against it. If it’s real gold, gold flakes will rub off onto the pottery. If it’s fake, we’ll just get a black mark. So we steal a shard of pottery from Niobe’s workshop, and rub it against the necklace in the broken case. Aaaand the pottery comes away with a black mark. It’s a fake! Oh snap!

We next have to test these emerald earrings. In order to do so, we need a spectroscope, which of course the museum doesn’t have, because they’re broke as fuck. Lucky for us, there just so happens to be one chilling near the tree where Thanos likes to hang out. We go to grab it — Thanos chooses to ignore us stealing stuff from right under his nose, which really makes me doubt his whole “King of the Underworld” claim. A real king would’ve put us in the stocks and had villagers throw various fruits and vegetables at us!

Before we call Melina, let’s see what Xenia has to say about all of this. First, we once again bring up that Niobe is like, mortally terrified of setting foot on the stage, so why did they hire her, again? Xenia’s like, “Method acting!” We ask how long the troupe has been together, and Xenia says that she’s basically thrown this whole thing together in a few weeks. That’s reassuring. My God, this play is not only a cover to steal priceless pieces of history from the Greek historical community, but it’s also being inflicted on a real-life audience. It’s diabolical.

Anyway, we use the spectroscope — from Jovic Tech, who I guess are putting Krolmeister out of business — on the earrings, and Nancy will note that the earrings are fakes. EVERYTHING IS FAKE!

Okay, wow, you can’t tell from these posts, but this is actually a pretty short game. The puzzles took up most of my word count, though, so in the interest of making this easier to read, we will get to the resolution in another post. Up next: we find out which of our suspects is involved in all this crime. Melina loses her shit. The Hardys are, as ever, useless.

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