Previously on Rebelde Way: Someone wiped out and I think I was supposed to be worried. I think it was Guido though, so…lol no.
Meanwhile, Marizza and Javier are gushing over how pretty Bariloche is, and you know, it’s a very nice place, but we have been here for literally ever. I am ready to go back to Elite Way and have some garden-variety incompetent school drama, instead of the weird rapey drama that’s been happening so far. Marizza hugs Javier, and then some random dude rolls up on a snowmobile. Rando snowmobile guy turns out to be someone that Marizza hired(?) to take Javier down the mountain, since she thinks snowboarding is too dangerous for him. Javier’s like, “Dammit, I was not expecting my ploy for sympathy to turn against me.” Ha! Suffer! Javier tells the snowmobile guy to leave without him.
The guys successfully make it down the mountain (I guess?) and Pablo’s all worried because he hasn’t seen Guido. Papa B thinks Guido disappeared as a trick to win the skiing competition, but he lost, so who cares! Pablo’s like, “He disappeared skiing down a mountain in freezing weather, I’m a little concerned.” Papa B’s like, “Whatever, let’s go skiing again!” Pablo’s warmed by his dad’s approval and goes off with him. Fuck Guido, man. At the top of the hill, they exchange barbs about how Papa B is a winner and he doesn’t think Pablo is one. Then we have to watch them ski for like five minutes.
Lujan is also enjoying the wonders of nature, fishing with Pedro. Well, she’s fishing while he lounges off to the side and watches. She catches one, and then she loses it, so he has to like…~sexily~ help her catch another one. Lujan’s like really into it even though we’ve had no indication before that she likes this dude. I don’t know what’s going on.
Back at the cabin, Mia frets to Marizza that Feli’s getting close to Pato, who she knows is involved with Sol somehow. Marizza’s like, “So tell Feli,” and Mia’s all, “But we’re fighting!” Mia says that if Marizza doesn’t help her, she’ll tell everyone what she heard between Marizza and Pablo on the plane. “You were asleep!” Marizza bleats, and Mia’s like, “My ears weren’t!” What? Okay, whatever. Marizza grudgingly agrees to do it.
We cut back to Papa B and Pablo, who are still skiing. JUST GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THE MOUNTAIN ALREADY, NO ONE CARES. Pablo stops to watch a dad hugging his son, and gets all emo that his dad doesn’t love him. He loses the race to Papa B, and Papa B gloats that he won and Pablo lost. Pablo’s all, “No Dad, we BOTH lost,” and dramatically skis off.
Back at the hotel, everyone is talking about what happened to Guido. So I guess that was him that wiped out, and everyone feels real bad for him for some reason. Whatever, he’s still alive. Let’s not get too weepy now. All the kids go off to see him, but Marizza says she’s waiting for Javier. Pablo comes in and tries to talk to her, but then Javier rocks up and whines that his head hurts because the snowmobile guy drove too fast. Marizza’s all, “OMG, poor baby,” and runs off to fetch him a drink. Pablo confronts Javier: he saw him skiing down the hill, so why is he lying to Marizza? Javier’s like, “Me, lie? Well, that just sounds uncharacteristic.” Marizza comes back to them arguing, and she gets mad at Pablo for aggravating him. She asks Javier why he doesn’t use the leverage he has on Pablo and tell Papa B where Pablo was this past week.
I love how Marizza thinks it’s not okay to get mad at a guy with a head injury, but selling someone out to their abusive parent is totally fine. Her moral compass clearly hasn’t improved THAT much.
Papa B overhears this, but Javier covers for Pablo yet again and says that they were just talking about what an awesome dad Papa B is. Papa B is appeased by this, as he is every time anyone strokes his ego.
The lawyer lady comes to visit Martavio in the hospital. He’s wearing a neck brace for some reason, even though the last time we saw him, he was perfectly fine. Martavio emos to the lawyer lady that he’s just pretending to be fine for the kids; he actually pinched a nerve or something and he has to stay in the hospital for a while. Maybe they can leave him there when they go back to Buenos Aires, and I never have to see him again. Lawyer lady has the same idea: she tells him that their meeting again made her think that he belongs here, in the mountains, with her. Martavio’s like, “I got seriously injured here, so I don’t know if that’s really a sign that I BELONG here.” Hee. Lawyer lady offers to let him live in her house. Not sure I’d want a rape apologist living in a house with me and my teenage daughters, but you do you, lawyer lady.
Pato — okay literally no one calls him Pato anymore after Feli did it that first time, but I don’t know if he spells his name Patricio or Patrizio, so I’m just gonna keep calling him Pato — tells Feli that he wants to throw a party in her honor at the club. The way these teenagers manage to rent out whole nightclubs all the time is really something. Feli thinks he’s joking, but he’s like, “No, for real, I want to throw you a party, because I like you.” OR DOES HE? Marizza rolls up and shoos Pato away, and Feli gushes to her that Pato wants to put her photo up in a nightclub. Marizza’s like, “O…kay.”
Pablo and Javier end up alone on the slopes, somehow, and Pablo confronts him again about his thing with Marizza. Javier snipes that Pablo’s just jealous that Javier is better than Pablo at everything, including getting girls, or at least gullible angry girls with a superiority complex. Pablo snaps that if Javier thinks he’s better at everything, they can have a race down the mountain to see who wins. I bet this is going to backfire spectacularly on him, the way all things do.
Laura and Marizza reunite. Laura’s all happy to see her friend again, but Marizza shuts her down because she wants to spy on Javier. Heh. She notes that Javier is skiing down the mountain, which he really shouldn’t be doing. She’s all, “What’s up with that?” Yeah, Marizza, what IS up with that? She decides to follow him, and for five seconds it looks like she’s going to figure it out, but then she sees Pablo put his skis on and decides to blame him for it. Marizza, you are making it really hard to like you right now.
Mia manages to corner Pato and asks him about himself. He tells her about the party for Feli tonight and invites her. Mia tries to pry and see if he’s going with anyone, and he tells her that the party is kind of a job, for him. Mia’s like, “Tell me more!” and he says that it’s just a prank that he’s playing on a girl, as a favor to Sol. Mia tries to flirt more information out of him, and they lean in real close to each other. An excellent time for Manuel to walk in!
His jester hat’s not even standing up properly anymore 🙁
I guess Pedro was all impressed by Lujan’s outdoorsy ways, because he walks her back to the hotel and tells her that she’s ~not like other girls. He asks if she has a boyfriend, and Lujan emos to him about her and Marcos’s relationship. She blames herself for being too clingy, even though Pedro rightly says that Marcos sounds like a dick. Lujan says that she doesn’t want to ever date again, and she’s going to dedicate herself to truth and great justice. Which is why Pedro should help her figure out the password to Blas’s laptop. So he IS some kind of hacker dude? Then why — oh my god, whatever. Pedro’s like, “Wouldn’t you rather hang out with me tonight and watch the stars?” and Lujan’s like, “No,” and hitchhikes the rest of the way back to the hotel. Heh.
Marizza confronts Javier and Pablo, and Javier promptly falls down and wails that Pablo made him do it. Pablo’s like, “Whatever,” and skis off, because honestly a variation on this scene has already happened like ten times, and I don’t blame Pablo for being tired of it. I’M tired of it.
Meanwhile, Tomás and Pilar are sledding down the hill and being cute. Why!!! Do I like them so much together!!! 🙁 My taste is tragic. But their adorable snow adventures are cut with shots of ~*~SOMEONE~*~ writing a letter addressed to Pilar and putting it in a mailbox. Ominous! You know, mystery person, if you really wanted to be ominous, you should’ve sent a fax. That’s how all the best bad news is delivered on this show. This letter somehow gets delivered in one day, just as Pilar’s telling Tomás that she loves him. This will end well.
Fernanda tells Marcos that she loves being with him, and Marcos is like, “Oh…totally…me too.” LOLLL, what a douche. You only dumped your girlfriend of two weeks so that you could hook back up with Fernanda, you could be a little more enthused about being with her. They make out, but then Marcos pulls back and says that he can’t get back together with her.
Manuel is sitting by himself, being emo that his ex-girlfriend that he cheated on is talking to other guys. I swear. Francisco rolls up all, “Are you in here because you’re Mexican and you’re afraid of snow?” Manuel protests that he likes the snow, but it makes him sad because Mia told him once that they would learn how to ski and stuff together. Francisco’s like, “How long are you gonna be a buzzkill like this?” and Manuel sighs, “The rest of my life.” “The rest of your life? Don’t be dramatic,” Francisco says. Heh. I hate him but he’s not wrong.
Mia and Pato come in, and Manuel gets all salty and storms over to yell at Mia. Francisco and Nacho both intervene — man, you know it’s bad when FRANCISCO is out here defending girls — and Nacho says that he’s putting Manuel on a bus back to Buenos Aires if Manuel doesn’t chill out. Mia wails that she doesn’t know why Manuel is being like this, and hugs Francisco. He’s like, “Awkward.”
Marizza and Lujan reunite, and Lujan’s all like, “You don’t know how hard it was to be separated from you! I have suffered!” Oh my God, Lujan, it was five days. What she’s going to do when they graduate, I do not know. Laura rocks up, and Marizza’s like, “So I saw Marcos with Fernanda, what’s going on there?” Laura tells her that Marcos was dating her for like five minutes, but now he’s back with Fernanda. Marizza’s like, “What?” and Lujan and Laura just shrug at her, it does sound pretty stupid when you say it out loud like that.
Javier shows up and Marizza fusses over him a bit. They agree to go to the party together, and now Lujan’s the one who’s not in the loop. Then we forget about all that and go back to talking about Laura’s relationship problems. Oh, pacing, you’re as smooth as ever. Marizza rightly is like, “So you left the club with some guy because he told you that your sister was calling, and that pissed Marcos off enough to dump you? Who was that guy and how does he even know your sister?” I love how Marizza’s just poking holes in all the dumbass stuff that’s happened. Laura’s like, “Golly, it does sound pretty unlikely when you say it like that.” Marizza thinks that Laura should go to Marcos and explain, but Laura — also rightly — points out that if Marcos was gonna dump her just for leaving the club to call her sister, she doesn’t want to date him anyway.
Up in the mountains, Vico sadly wanders around her new cabin while Avril Lavigne plays in the background. She thinks about all her classmates having fun without her and cries.
Pablo and Tomás finally manage to recover Guido from the slopes. Shoulda let him die out there, guys!
Papa B comes in and says that he’s going at the hospital to see Martavio. Marizza’s like, “Wasn’t Carmen supposed to be our supervisor?” and Papa B gets all suspicious that Marizza didn’t know about the change. He’s going to find out that they were on tour, you guys! Just kidding, no he doesn’t. They BS their way out of trouble, again, some more, and Marizza goes off to see Martavio.
At the hospital, she notes that he’s still breathing, to my irritation. Marizza gets all emo and says that she doesn’t want anything to happen to him, and curls up with him on the bed. Whatever, Marizza. One day Javier’s gonna do something real creepy again, like sniff your underwear or try to watch you sleep, and Martavio’s useless ass is just gonna be all, “Boys will be boys!”
The receptionist gives Pilar her letter that mysteriously arrived in half a day. Pilar doesn’t want to open it, since she’s sure that it’s just Dunoff putting her in the middle of her parents’ divorce again. She gives it to Tomás for safekeeping and says that she’ll read it later.
Feli and Mia are suddenly on speaking terms again, as Mia has to squeeze into the girls’ hotel room. Mia asks where Vico is, and Feli’s like, “LOL, who knows, nobody gives a shit.” She tells Mia that Vico didn’t sleep here last night — Mia’s cutely almost excited, but remembers that she’s still mad at Feli and reigns herself back in. She’s like, “Oh? Who’s she with?” and Feli says, “You’ll never believe it!” in the weirdest voice ever. What the fuck, Feli.
Mia goes to ask Rocco where Vico is, and he’s all creepy like, “Oh, well, Martavio said Vico went back to Buenos Aires, but I think she’s somewhere a little farther away.” Like six feet under. He tells Mia that the old Vico doesn’t exist anymore why? because she’s dead, and there’s a new Vico around. Mia’s like, “Huh?” Heh. Figurative language is lost on her, Rocco.
Lujan finds Marcos being all emo by the lake. She tells him to stick up for himself instead of letting Fernanda lead him around by the penis. Marcos gets all huffy that Laura was CLEARLY cheating on him, and Lujan’s like, “Like Laura could ever cheat on anyone.” Heh. She’s not wrong. Besides, if any other guy really was interested in Laura, Francisco would probably be out there punching him because of his entitlement to Laura’s love life. Marcos tries to whine at Lujan that he’s going through a rough time, and she snaps at him that she doesn’t care and she just wants him to stop dicking her friend around. HEE.
Mia frets to Marizza that Feli’s about to go to the party with Pato, and she’s going to be humiliated and probably get pig’s blood dumped on her. Marizza’s like, “So do something about it” and Mia’s like, “BUT WHAT.” Mia distracts Pato by asking who he’s going to the party with. Pato says he doesn’t have a date, and asks Mia to go with him. Dammit, I should’ve known he was for sure evil. You can’t trust a guy with early-2000s bleached hair! I wanted to believe Feli was finally going to go out with a non-jerky guy 🙁 Anyway, Pato is about to leave before Marizza can steal his camera, so Mia grabs him and kisses him. An excellent time for Manuel to round the corner!
Guido hooks the guys up with alcohol for tonight and all the boys praise him. Like they’ve ever been carded in their damn lives. ALL YOU GUYS DO IS DRINK. Then Sol, Pilar, and Fernanda waltz by, and I only mention this because they walk in all color-coordinated with a jacket over one shoulder like every early-2000s girl group in existence.
THERE IS NO ONE ELSE THAT I CAN SAY THIS TO, ‘CAUSE THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN A TALK TO YOU~*~
Lujan goes back to Pedro and says she needs his help. He’s all shocked that she would ask. Literally the first thing when she met you — OH MY GOD, WHATEVER.
Martavio comes back to the hotel and tells the kids that Papa B is in charge of them from now on. A literal child abuser! This gets better and better! Before he goes, though, he manages to do one (1) responsible thing, and busts Guido with a bag full of alcohol. He confiscates it, and then Papa B walks in all, “Who brought all this booze!” Martavio takes the fall and BSes that he just has nothing to do except lie around in bed and drink. Even Papa B thinks that’s pretty dumb, ’cause he’s all, “You’re supposed to be watching a bunch of teenagers!” Let’s be real, though, Martavio wasn’t doing that even while he was sober. Papa B snaps that he’s going to tell God and everybody about Martavio being incompetent. Pablo tries to defend Martavio, and Papa B slaps him and walks away. As usual, all the kids are like, “Whatever, disturbing glimpse into our classmate’s home life, whatever.”
Papa B goes off to call Dunoff. Meanwhile, Martavio speechifies to the kids that they don’t need alcohol to have a good time. He gives them the bottles anyway and tells them to have fun. I’m gonna take away that one (1) count of responsibility, and Martavio’s right back down to zero again. He might actually be in the negatives, if I were to actually be keeping count.
All the kids ride off to the party on snowmobiles. Where the hell were these when they were out hitchhiking and wandering into the woods and shit? They go to some pool, where Lujan just happens to already be. Pato introduces Feli and unveils the photo of her — and it’s a photo of a cow, with Sol’s face ‘shopped on its head. All the kids laugh, even though I feel like that’s still pretty humiliating for Feli, since like…no offense, but I think everyone and their mom knows that the cow picture was meant to be of her.
Sol storms off all humiliated, and Marizza’s all, “Lujan, how did you pull this off!” and then Pedro rolls up and Lujan reveals that she gave the photo to him to ‘shop. That’s pretty speedy, considering she had to take it all the way into the woods and back.
Martavio tells the lady lawyer that he thinks they’re gonna fire him. God, I hope so. You’re incompetent, Martavio! He emos that he doesn’t know where he belongs anymore — he thought his place in the world was stalking Marizza, but she hates him, so what to do now? He thinks maybe he should move in with lawyer lady after all. She’s all twitterpated, because she don’t love herself.
Also like…I can’t take Martavio seriously when he’s got that damn neck brace on in every scene.
Mia dances with Nacho while Manuel stares saltily, and Marizza dances with Javier while Pablo stares saltily. Tomás is like, “Dude, this is your own damn fault for being like, ‘lol jk’ when you confessed your eternal love for her.” I love that Tomás is the stable relationship expert here now.
Laura and Marcos talk it out, and Laura’s being really weird and pouty about the whole thing, which…okay, whatever. They make out while janky Eurodance music plays in the background. Romance! When they go back to the pool, Marcos thanks Lujan and kisses her on the cheek, and it’s super awkward.
Rocco visits Vico and they cutely banter about whether or not he saw Mia and if he told her where Vico is. Rocco says he didn’t, but Mia gave him a letter for Vico anyway. It’s pretty sappy, considering that for all she knows Vico just went out for a night, but she basically writes that she always cares about Vico even when they’re fighting, and she wishes Vico would come back. Vico gets all emo and asks Rocco what she should do. “Well, you’re underage and still enrolled in school, and we probably shouldn’t let you squat in an abandoned house in the mountains, at least,” Rocco doesn’t say.
Feli thanks Mia for sticking up for her against Sol, and they hug it out. Then Marizza and Lujan join in for the hell of it, and they should really invite Pedro since he was part of it too, but he just kind of hovers awkwardly in the background.
All the kids are in a good mood when they come back, but Papa B quickly shuts them down: he’s received a very OMINOUS FAX from Elite Way! Aw, hell yeah! Nothing like an ominous fax to up the tension! The kids read it and Pablo’s all, “No puede ser!” What do you think it could be? With an ominous fax, the possibilities are endless.
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