For the first time, this episode opens with a disclaimer that the characters and situations are fictional. Did someone finally sue Cris Morena, or were they trying to dissuade people from writing Felipe Colombo/Luisana Lopilato fanfiction? Also weirdly, the opening credits show up again, except now they’re set to the music video for “Para Cosas Buenas.” This episode is crazytown.
So anyway, we pick up where we left off, with Manuel making out with Sabrina. I mean, Sabrina is evil, but I do love how she knows all she had to do was stroke his ego and now he’s like, “Girlfriend? What girlfriend?”
He manages to overcome his boner long enough to be all, “We mustn’t!” He starts wailing about how he shouldn’t have let anything happen and he would NEVER cheat on Mia and oh, how SHAMEFUL it is to have kissed Sabrina, and Sabrina’s like, “Okay, you don’t have to rub it in.” Manuel immediately starts blaming himself, and how he fell for her wily charms because he’s going through a rough time right now, and Sabrina’s all, “Well, making out with me would probably fix all your problems, but that’s just my opinion.” They agree to forget it. Sure, until Manuel’s boner takes over his brain again.
They go back to the apartment, and Marizza asks, “Did you guys come together?” They both shout “NO!” which isn’t suspicious at all. Sabrina tells the band that she has news. Marizza, God love her, snipes that they came here to rehearse. I love that she’s backing Mia up, despite everything. Manuel and Pablo side with Sabrina, though. She chirps that she talked her dad into letting them remain a quartet, and Manuel and Pablo are like, “OMG, Sabrina, you do so much for us!” Mia and Marizza are not happy.
Back at school, Papa B and Etchamendi are trying to pressure Dunoff to sign a check for them, so I guess he’ll take the fall if the shadiness of the money is discovered. They’re like, “Here’s some money, and here’s your master’s degree that you’ve been trying to earn, NOW SIGN THE CHECK.” So Dunoff does. Oh, Dunoff. He shows his payoff money to Mama D and Pilar, and he’s like, “I got this for being such a good principal!” Mama D’s like, “That sounds fake, but okay.” Pilar wants to use it to buy a motorcycle(?) because I guess biking is part of her character now, but Dunoff shuts her down, and she’s all, “You never let me do what I want! No one understands me!”
Feli’s still at some restaurant somewhere, talking to Mateo. He wants to know about Sol, and Feli’s like, “Sol is the most amazing girl in the world, she’s so generous and giving and has never done anything wrong, ever.” Mateo asks about Sol’s hobbies, what she likes to do, and Feli’s like, “Uh, I don’t know, we don’t really have real conversations.”
Speaking of Sol, she’s going off on Ana, thinking that Ana told Tomás about Sol cheating on him. I can’t blame Sol for not believing that Tomás figured it out himself. For once, Ana sticks up for herself, and they end up having a rumble in the middle of the hallway.
In the lounge, the most random mix of characters are studying together — Marcos, Laura, Rocco, Diego, and Tomás. Since when do any of them like each other? Guido rocks up, and he’s like, “Tomás…are you…studying?” Hee. Tomás tells Guido that he knows Sol is cheating on him — with a guy that Guido hired. How did Tomás find that out? Whatever. Tomás punches him and walks away. Guido’s like, “I can’t believe my plan backfired! Plans on this show never backfire!”
Erreway rehearses “Será de Dios”, while Pablo and Marizza emo over each other. Their love is so real! But they’ve been hurt before! WHAT DO. Manuel’s like, “So…are you guys gonna contribute to this rehearsal or are you just gonna sit there?” Heh. They get their butts in gear, but they still spend the rest of rehearsal thinking about each other.
Blas takes Maria Jesus out for lunch, and they plot to overthrow Sonia. Maria Jesus strokes Blas’s ego about how much she admires his assholeish ways of handling the students. Blas says he admires her, too — he’s very into strong women with their own opinions. Bullshit, Blas! You’re into teenage girls you can manipulate into not loving themselves, I have evidence. Anyway, they’re like, “You’re so evil!” “No, you’re so evil!” and then they make out.
Erreway comes back to school, and Manuel tells Mia that they have to talk. He’s all, “I know I said I wouldn’t pressure you, but I’m like in a really bad place right now because you won’t have sex with me. Blue balls is a real medical condition!” and poor Mia starts crying that she’ll have sex with him if that’s all he cares about, and Manuel’s like, “No, no, we don’t HAVE to have sex, I’m just saying that I’m totally miserable not having it! But everything’s fine!” What a passive-aggressive dickhole. Once again, Mia explains that she’s not ready, and he agrees to wait for her and not cheat on her. WHATEVER. He’s lying to you, Mia!
Meanwhile, Feli comes back from hanging out with Mateo. She’s all, “OMG, Sol, I just met the most awesome guy!” Sol’s like, “No, let me talk, my life is in SHAMBLES!” and Feli’s like, “But Mateo –” and Sol’s like, “Tomás broke up with me!” and Feli’s like, “So there’s this guy –” and Sol’s like, “HOW COULD HE BREAK UP WITH ME? Feli, are you even listening?” Feli’s like, “I really don’t feel like you’re supporting me right now,” and Sol’s like, “Of course I’m not, keep up.” Feli’s dumb ass still doesn’t cotton on that Sol doesn’t care about her.
Vico’s dad won’t let her leave the house, and they get into another fight. Vico snaps that she’ll never let him hit her again, because she’s going to report him. Naturally, when she goes to report her dad’s abuse and ask for him to be kept away from her, the officer’s just like, “Sounds like you were being a brat, I probably would’ve hit you too.” A+ child protective services!
Back at school, Rocco goes to ask Mia about Vico’s whereabouts. Mia says Vico’s still with her dad, and Rocco’s like, “Speaking of, what is up with Vico’s dad?” Mia says that Vico told her that she and her dad have normal, parent/kid disagreements. Rocco muses that he has a bad feeling — is Mia sure? Is she SURE? Mia’s like, “Dude, I don’t know!” Then she adds that it’s cute how much Rocco cares about Vico. Aw! It really is!
Guido tells Pablo that Tomás found out about their dastardly plan, and they find him in the courtyard, drowning his sorrows. He starts crying all over them (poor dumb Tomás), and then Blas and Maria Jesus show up. Well, that’s unfortunate.
Laura goes waltzing by with more invisible friend notes for Lola. Francisco’s like, “Dude, this is getting a little fucked up.” He asks what Lola’s deal is, anyway, and Laura explains that Lola is the unfavorite of their family. Francisco muses that maybe Lola is getting blamed for everything that goes wrong in the house, even when it’s not her fault — like him. Laura’s like, “Say what?” and Francisco tells her his tragic backstory: his dad cheats on his mom, and his parents take all their problems out on him, which is why he decided to leave and come to Elite Way. You know your home is dysfunctional when Elite Way is less messed up. He suggests that maybe bad shit is going down in Laura’s house, and she’s like, “No way, we’re perfectly fine!” I bet they’re not.
Bianca and Lola make up and are officially friends again, like anyone cares. Lola says she thinks Francisco is her invisible friend, as she saw him hovering around her locker right before the letter showed up. Bianca’s like, “Not Francisco again.” Hee.
Night falls, and Manuel lies awake in bed, probably wondering about the best way to get Mia to put out. Francisco notices him awake, and Manuel confesses that he feels guilty, because he kissed Sabrina. Francisco’s like, “What the fuck! She’s my girlfriend! I mean, not that she’s ever expressed any interest in me or anything, BUT STILL!”
The next morning, Vico flips out on Sol for something minor, and Mia’s like, “Uh…are you sure you’re okay?”, but Vico blows her off.
And halfway through the episode, a weird subplot shows up. Papa C rocks up to the gym where Sonia’s exercising, and he tries to play off like he comes here all the time but all the exercise makes him like, pass out. Sonia takes him home and takes care of him, and he’s all, “OMG, maybe we’re meant to be!” and has a wet dream about her. That’s it, that’s the whole thing.
Manuel find Francisco in the cafeteria and they talk it out. Manuel’s like, “I don’t like Sabrina, I’m just sexually frustrated because Mia won’t put out, and you know guys have to have sex otherwise we’ll literally explode.” This show has not aged well, at all. Francisco recommends that Manuel find another girl to have sex with — like, not break up with Mia, just have a side piece solely to stick his dick in. WHAT THE FUCK, FRANCISCO!
Gloria tell Dunoff that he got a call earlier, and he’s like, “I bet it was from the board, telling me how awesome I am for signing that check!” and Gloria’s like, “Uh, no, it was from Sol’s mom, who wants to yell at you for letting Sol get beat up by the cafeteria girl.” Then, to make Dunoff’s day worse, Blas comes in and tells him about busting Tomás for underage drinking. As ever, when faced with a modicum of responsibility, Dunoff opts to shove it off on someone else: what up, Martavio! He’s like, “You did such a great job intervening in Diego’s sex life –” (he really didn’t) “–that you should be the fourth year advisor!” Martavio derps that fourth year is doing just fine, and they don’t need any help. Martavio, they need all the help. Dunoff’s like, “They’re too rebelde! You must stop them!” Martavio sighs but agrees to give them a lecture about underage drinking.
Guido and Pablo confess to collaborating and setting Sol up with Mateo. They apologize for going about it badly, but they maintain that she was bad for Tomás. Tomás forgives them, bless his dumb, forgiving soul. Then Ana rocks up and she’s like, “So how about that test, huh?” and they’re like, “Oh fuck, we have a test.” Hee. Been there.
Their set-up is that Ana has a copy of the test, and she’ll text the answers to Pablo, who not at all subtly whispers them to Guido and Tomás. Carmen deserves to have her students cheat if she can’t catch this. Carmen eventually notices that Pablo keeps staring at his lap, where his phone is. I had a teacher once, in college, who pointed out that she always knows when we’re texting in class. She said, “No one stares at their crotch that much naturally!” Carmen takes a similar tack, barking, “What are you staring at between your legs?!” Marizza: “What he’s got is so small, he was trying to see if it grew.” Guido rips a picture of Marizza out of his notebook (he’s carrying around a group photo of Erreway), and quickly passes it to Pablo. Carmen picks it up, and Marizza says, “YOU WERE TOUCHING YOURSELF TO A PICTURE OF ME?” Hee. For some reason, her reaction makes Diego all pissy. What, did he want her to be happy about it?
Dunoff comes to lecture Ana about beating up Sol. To her surprise — and mine — he believes Ana when she tells him that Sol started it. He gives her another chance, because, as he says, “I am a magnanimous man.” Heh. And he gives her a final bit of advice: “The customer is always right.” Ana, no! Love yourself and leave customer service!
After class, Pablo is less salty that everyone thinks he was jerking off to Marizza’s photo, and more salty that he didn’t get the chance to get all the answers from Ana. He tells Marizza that he won’t be paying Ana, as she didn’t give him all the answers. And whose fault was that, Pablo? Marizza’s like, “You better pay her, or I’ll make you regret it,” and gets all in his face. Diego walks by and she’s like, “Diego, come help me threaten Pablo!”, but Diego blows her off. She catches up to him and he calls her out for being obsessed with Pablo, again, some more.
Dunoff tells Sonia that Maria Jesus is now the cheerleading coach. She takes that as well as you’d expect. Possibly even worse — she crawls on his desk and crazies at him that he’ll find out just what she’s capable of when she’s not happy. Jesus Christ, Sonia.
Mia tells Feli that she’s worried about Vico, but she has an idea — they’ll have a secret-sharing meeting! Vico will have to tell them her secret, because they’re all telling secrets! Feli wails that she doesn’t like those, because she always ends up saying stuff that she regrets. Hee. Then some girl who has never, ever worked at this school before shows up, and says there’s a phone call for Feli. Who is this? Gloria’s new assistant? SHE DOESN’T EVEN GO HERE!
Feli answers the call, and it turns out to be Mateo. She’s all twitterpated.
All the kids go to class, where Martavio gives them a lecture about how their class keeps causing trouble. “You guys are too rebelde!” he tells them, and they’re all, “No such thing!” He’s like, “Maybe you’re acting out because of problems at home.” Mia immediately scoffs at the idea. She’s like, “Only poor people have problems at home! And none of us are poor!” Mia, you have literally seen Pablo’s dad hit him. Sometimes, it’s hard to love her. Vico looks like she’s about to take offense at Mia’s opinion, but then she passes out and falls on the floor.
Sabrina comes to visit the school, and she meets up with Francisco. She wants to know what’s going on with Manuel, and Francisco’s dumb ass tells her that Manuel’s all salty that his girlfriend won’t put out. Sabrina gets an idea. A wonderful, awful idea. OH, SABRINA.
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