So Pablo and Marizza are like two days into their presidential campaign, and Pablo’s already so paranoid about losing that he’s covered Marizza’s bed in blood and left a gigantic knife there. It’s v. Godfather, sans the actual horse head. Marizza freaks out, as you might, and scrambles off for help, and Diego comes out from behind her door. He throws her bedding out the window and Guido catches it; then Diego scrubs the blood off her floor. I guess the whole point is to make Marizza think she’s going crazy, but like, I feel like she might notice that all her bedding is missing.
Back at Casa Colucci, Andres has decided that the best and most mature way to break up with Maria Jesus is to pretend like he’s cheating on her and hope that she gets upset enough to dump him. What if Maria Jesus is one of those women who doesn’t love herself enough to leave her cheating boyfriend? What then, Andres? However, Papa C walks in on them first, and he is SCANDALIZED! He’s like, “When I said you could move into my house, I didn’t mean use it for your weird harem of self-loathing women!” Andres sputters that it’s not what it seems, and then Maria Jesus starts crying that she thought what she and Andres had was real, and HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO HER. Papa C’s like, “Look, you made this innocent delicate flower cry!” Andres protests, but Papa C doesn’t listen to him and kicks him out of the house.
I mean, I can’t say I feel bad for Andres, but it is a little sad that he was too dumb to see any of this coming.
Meanwhile, Mia and Manuel have made it back to school. Mia cries about how traumatizing it was for her to have her boyfriend kidnapped and held at gunpoint, and Manuel comforts her. Wait, what? Go to a therapist, Manuel! Mia’s like, “So now you have to forgive Blas for being a creepy pedophile stalker because he saved your life,” and Manuel’s like, “Yeah, I guess I do.” No, you don’t, Manuel! Mia should go to a therapist also!
Rocco convinces Bianca to tell him all about her life problems. Bianca cries to him over fighting with Lola, telling him that she’s never had friends before. She doesn’t want to fight with the first friend she’s ever had in her life, but she doesn’t want to go along with all of Lola’s zany schemes, either. Bianca really is just a pale imitation of Luna.
In the cafeteria, Lujan complains to Laura about Marcos not wanting to join PILAS. She’s taking that as a sign that they should break up, and Laura tells her to slow her roll. She’s like, “Just because Marcos shows no interest in one of your extracurriculars, that doesn’t mean you should break up!” Which — well, that’s true, but Marcos’s reaction went past that and was verging on douchebag territory. Also, seriously, he doesn’t want to contribute to PILAS at all? Isn’t Marizza also his friend? He doesn’t even want to like, help her poll the student body or something nerdy like that? Anyway, Laura chirps that just because Marcos and Lujan don’t agree over politics, that doesn’t mean they don’t have everything else in common! It doesn’t? Did I miss an episode where Marcos developed an interest in violence or Lujan started watching Neon Genesis Evangelion?
Andres trudges off after being kicked out of Casa Colucci. Sonia catches up to him to apologize, and offers to let him stay in her house. Oh, sure, that won’t end messily at all. Andres protests, but Sonia’s like, “The way you came up with a wacky plan to break up with Maria Jesus instead of just saying it to her face like an adult really proved to me that you’re a great person!” Andres agrees to move in.
Marizza drags Marcos, Francisco, and Laura to her room, but naturally Diego and Guido have cleaned it up and there’s no sign of a bloody intruder at all. “The only person here is Winnie the Pooh,” Francisco says, picking up a random toy that I don’t remember Marizza having at all. Marcos is like, “You women and your hysteria,” because he’s just gone from zero to douchebag this year. “I have a red shirt, but it’s not blood!” Francisco chirps, via Winnie the Pooh. I hate myself for liking Francisco as much as I do. Nobody believes Marizza.
Manuel goes to thank Blas for saving his life and all, and Blas is like, “You would’ve done the same thing for me.” Manuel’s like, “…not really.” Hee! He and Blas bury the hatchet and shake on it. Ugh. But then! Blas goes to the shady place and meets up with the kidnappers and he’s like, “Gr8 job on that fake kidnapping, guys!” Seriously, where does Blas find all these random actors? He pays them off with thick envelopes that might be…drugs? I don’t know. The camera zooms in weirdly on Blas’s shady suitcase, so I guess that’ll come up later, if they remember it.
Mia cries some more over how scared she was that Manuel was going to die, and they proclaim their love for each other again, some more. I forgot to mention that they have this incredibly weird way of kissing each other, where they peck each other a bunch of times on the lips and it’s not romantic at all. That said, “Crazy For This Girl” is playing again and I appreciate how many times it’s come up so far. I loved that song.
Marizza tells Laura that she talked to Lola, and Laura thanks her for trying, but says she’s done enough on Laura’s behalf. “You don’t know me, do you?” Marizza says. “Marizza Pia Spirito is never done meddling.” No, seriously, she says that! I love this new, self-aware Marizza.
Afterwards, Laura’s off doing something on the school’s lone computer when Lujan rocks up. She tells Laura that she made a list — never make a list, Lujan! — of everything she and Marcos have in common, and she’s come up with absolutely nothing. Uh, there’s clearly not nothing written on that paper, but whatever. “He eats pizza, I eat empanadas,” Lujan wails. What, Marcos only eats pizza and Lujan only eats empanadas? (Does he wear short skirts and Lujan wears T-shirts?) Laura tries to point out that Lujan and Marcos don’t have to have the same interests to like each other, but Lujan’s convinced that she and Marcos are doomed.
Pablo continues on his mission to woo Sol. He sends her a breakfast (brunch? Whatever) tray with a note and some flowers and candles. And he puts it on her bed? That’s such a fire hazard. Anyway, he tells her to bring the breakfast tray to the courtyard, and they can eat together. Sol goes to find him, and tells him she’s not interested. Not in Pablo, not in anybody: “The only thing I want is to finish high school,” she snaps. I was about to be pleased that they’re showing some trauma from her close encounter with Font, but as usual, I was giving the show too much credit. Sol’s like, “I have to focus on becoming a top model!” She storms off, and Pablo’s all like, “Top model, eh?”
“She said no, and ‘no’ means ‘yes’!”
Lujan shows Marcos her list, and tells him that this is proof that their relationship is never going to work. Marcos is like, “So all of last year and our trip to Machu Picchu meant nothing?” and Lujan’s like, “Pretty much!” and waltzes off.
Okay, did I imagine it, or didn’t this whole thing start because Diego implied that Marcos cheated on Lujan with some tour guide in Europe or whatever? Is no one ever gonna bring that up?
In Pablo’s room, he’s all pissed that Sol rejected him again. Tomás is like, “So find another hot girl, this school is full of them.” Almost like they’re a school of abnormally attractive telenovela actors! Pablo’s adamant that Sol be his girlfriend. “What, are you going to make her?” Tomás asks. Oh, Tomás, you’re so naive. “More or less,” Pablo says, and calls Papa B to get his help. Tomás is like, “Cool. Want a rice cake?” Heh.
Cafeteria. Marizza, Lujan, and Laura are all excited over their new PILAS hats, but then less excited when they find out that Lujan blew a ton of money on them and didn’t bother to look for a better deal at all. On the one hand, I feel like a poor orphan would be better at haggling. On the other hand, it’s totally likely Lujan has never handled money at all, so this is kind of on Marizza. They panic that they can’t fund the campaign — my God, it’s student council, you don’t need a super PAC — and Marizza doesn’t want to go to Sonia for help, because that would make her like Pablo. Manuel comes in and offers to help, since he did some buying for Papa C during his internship. We never saw him doing any work at all, so we’ll have to take his word for it. Marizza points out that if Manuel helps her, then he has to be against Pablo (okay, George W. Bush), and Manuel protests that he’s in this for ~the greater good~, not to stick it to Pablo. Meanwhile, Lujan is salty that nobody appreciates her contributions to the campaign.
Papa C tells Maria Jesus that he needs to go back to Tokyo — wait, why did he even come back in the first place, then? — but since this whole Andres fiasco wasn’t really her fault, she can stay in Casa Colucci. Maria Jesus wibbles that she just doesn’t know if she can impose like that, and Papa C assures her that it’s all right, on account of her being such a pure innocent flower and all. Maria Jesus hugs and kisses him and gushes over how thankful she is, and Papa C is a little weirded out, as he should be.
Wait, I just realized, has Peter also been written off the show? Peter :(((
Mia and Manuel coo over each other some more and make out some more. Blas sees them and gets all salty. That’s his own fault; like he thought putting Manuel in a near-death situation was gonna make Mia not want to make out with him.
Lola tears down a PILAS poster and puts up a big picture of Pablo. Bianca comes up and tries to make nice with her, but Lola snaps that if she’s not with her, she’s against her. Man, this show is really capturing that early 2000s political atmosphere. I almost feel like I’m back in grade school.
Pablo uses his connections to get some model agent, Pablo Venieri(?) to come to the school. Sol walks by and sees Pablo talking to Other Pablo, and her starfuckery ways take over. She tries to get an introduction, but the Pablos blow her off. Pilar is just hanging around in this scene too, for no reason, really.
The PILAS party comes up with an idea to hold a raffle to raise money for the election. Raffles aren’t allowed in the school, and they also have no idea what the prize would be, but Marizza’s like, “Excellent idea!”
Mia stares at a photo of Manuel, and flashbacks to all the times they made out in the Galapagos. She decides that they’ve both nearly died at least once in the span of 18 episodes, so they should probably have sex soon. She tries to bring it up to Manuel, although she’s too embarrassed to talk about it, which makes me think perhaps she’s not ready. She’s like, “I want to, you know, do what people in a relationship do when they’re in love, and they’re ready…” “You want to buy a house?” Manuel asks. Hee. No, but he’s picking up what she’s putting down, and they agree to go all the way, and celebrate by pecking all over each other’s faces again. It’s not cute.
Felipe Colombo and Luisana Lopilato were dating in real life at this point, so like…is this how they made out IRL? Maybe that’s why they broke up.
Belen comes up and tells Manuel that Dunoff wants to see him in his office, then stands around while Mia and Manuel play tonsil hockey some more. They’re like, “Do you mind?” and she’s like, “Sorry, just trying to get some more screentime in.”
Marcos rants to Laura and Lujan’s dumbass list, and Laura’s like, “Uh…well, that was my idea. I didn’t think she would actually do it!” Heh. She looks over the list and she’s all, “How can Lujan hate reading? I love reading!” Lujan’s hovering behind some pillar, and she overhears Laura gushing about how she loves everything that Marcos does.
Sol agrees to go out with Pablo if he can get her some modeling connections. She’s like, “I didn’t wanna have breakfast with you, but I’m down with dinner.” She and Pablo make out.
Gloria storms over to Madame Finsky’s, pissed that her 50-peso perfume didn’t work on Dunoff. Madame Finsky’s like, “Oops, guess that means you should just buy this 180-peso bottle instead.” She tells Gloria that it will make Mama D lose all her interest in sex, and Dunoff will get so sexually frustrated that he’ll cheat on her. Gloria falls for this. Gloria! As a fellow receptionist, I know you’re not making enough money for this!
Gloria puts whatever it is in Mama D’s tea — Mama D is like, “This tea is amazing, what did you put in it?” and Gloria unsubtly cackles that it’s an old family secret — and Mama D’s like, “You’re such a great secretary and not at all trying to undermine and destroy my family!”
Lujan tricks Laura into helping her make a picnic for Marcos, under the guise of getting back together with him. It’s actually a passive-aggressive way for Lujan to push Laura and Marcos together. She bitters that they like all the same things and they’re perfect for each other, so she’s just gonna leave them together so they can kiss over her lunch. Laura and Marcos are like, “The fuck?” but Lujan’s already run off. You know, this season is really revealing that Lujan is just as much of a drama queen as Marizza. I can see why they’re friends.
Papa C tells Mia that he’s going back to Tokyo. Mia’s sad for about two seconds, and then she’s like, “So you’re gonna buy me a ton of clothes so I can replace my wardrobe, right?” Once Papa C leaves, she invites Manuel over — Papa C will be on his way back to Japan, Andres has been kicked out, and Maria Jesus is teaching class. It’s the perfect time to lose her virginity! Manuel’s like, “Are you sure? Because I need to make a really big deal about not pressuring you even though I’m going to pressure you anyway,” and Mia assures him that she’s ready.
Bianca finds Rocco sitting in some corner, singing along to “Sweet Child O’ Mine.” She’s all like, “Omg, you’re such a good singer, I would love to see you backing up Erreway in concert.” Bianca thanks him for being nice to her, and they bond a little, with Rocco telling her she’s not like the rest of the prepz at Elite Way. That’s a pretty big compliment, from him. Is it weird that I think they’re kind of cute together?
Manuel goes to Dunoff’s office, where some guy is there to talk him about his kidnapping. Manuel thinks the guy is there to help him, even though he keeps smiling at Manuel really creepily, in a way that seems not at all helpful. The guy tells him that they did some investigating, and it seems that the kidnapping was ordered by a third party. Manuel’s like, “Yes, it probably was!” and then the guy’s like, “And that third party was YOURSELF!” and Manuel’s like, “The fuck, no, it wasn’t!”
Seriously, that is not the smile of someone who wants to help you.
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