Elite Way is taking on politics! Apparently in this super-fancy advanced school that prepares students to lead the country, the concept of a student council is brand new information. Pablo and Marizza have stepped up to run against each other, in a long tradition of political opponents bitterly hating each other. They’re the Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson of early 2000s Argentina, if Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson had a lot of UST. (And who’s to say they didn’t?)
Pablo and Guido talk about his campaign moves, which mostly seem to consist of bribing students with Pablo’s connections so they’ll vote for him. Ah, the rich popular student bribing everyone to vote for him, while the poor underdog tries to win by running on a platform of fairness and equality. I think that’s the plot of every middle grade book about student elections ever, although in my experience, people usually just voted for their friends. Guido offers to be Pablo’s right-hand man in exchange for some of these sweet bribes, and Pablo gets all offended: “I’ll just ask Tomás! He’ll help me for free!” Guido rightly points out that none of us have seen Tomás in the past two episodes, and Pablo’s like, “Okay, fine, whatever. I’ll be bribing a lot of people, so I guess I should get used to it now.”
Over in Dunoff’s office, Gloria puts her plan to win his love into action. She “accidentally” spills ink onto his pants, and then offers to wash them for him. He hands them over, and Gloria runs off with Dunoff’s underpants like a total weirdo.
Meanwhile, Manuel’s been kidnapped two feet outside the Elite Way gates. Is Elite Way in a bad neighborhood or something? You’d think such a fancy school would have better security. Anyway, they take him to some creepy room somewhere and pull guns on him. For a second I thought they were working for Blas — and I mean, they might be, it’s not confirmed either way — but apparently they want to ransom Manuel for the Colucci fortune. Manuel’s all, “Mia would never agree to that!” and the guys are like, “Okay, so we’ll kill you. Do you not see the guns?” They force him to write a note to Mia telling her not to worry about him.
Over in Marizza’s room, she’s trying to come up with a name for their party. What? Marizza, it’s student council, not the presidency. Does she plan on forming two parties and slowly dividing Elite Way over the centuries? GEORGE WASHINGTON WARNED US ABOUT THIS! Lujan comes up with “Action for the Rights of Elite Way Students”. “I wouldn’t even vote for that,” Laura says, which seems unnecessarily mean. Anyway, Marizza passes over Lujan’s suggestion in favor of Laura’s: “Unbreakable Principles, Working in Solidarity.” That’s a clunky translation, sorry. It can be boiled down to PILAS, which is a catchy acronym that also means “batteries.” Marizza likes it, and Lujan gets all salty that everyone seems to like Laura better than her. Aw! I don’t know if I’m revealing too much about my own high school issues, but I really relate to Lujan here.
Mama D and Pilar come to see Dunoff. They’re a little weirded out that he refuses to stand up or move his legs out from under the desk at all, but then they’re like, “Whatever” and start to regale him with tales of their shopping trip. And they even brought him clothes! Dunoff’s all like, “Did you say CLOTHES?” but sadly, all they’ve brought him is a wacky hat, and he remains pantsless. Etchamendi comes in to remind Dunoff that they have a meeting with the board today, and Dunoff’s like, “Oh, for sure, I will totally be ready. I am also totally wearing pants right now.”
Gloria goes to see Madame Finsky, and hands over Dunoff’s gross-ass underwear. They like…burn his underwear? God, that must be the worst smell in the world. Anyway, Gloria’s all, “May the smoke from Dunoff’s janky-ass boxers liberate him from the clutches of his wife!”
Lola sees Lujan and Marcos making out in the lounge, and Lola’s like, “Laura must be avenged!” She enlists Bianca to help her, and Bianca whines about it, as usual. I feel kinda bad for her, because it’s not like the girl playing her is any worse than the rest of this show’s actors, but she gets absolutely nothing to do besides play second fiddle to Lola.
Meanwhile, Mia rants to Feli and Vico that she hasn’t been able to find Manuel anywhere. He’s probably off somewhere, having fun without her! (Feli: “Maybe he’s stuck in the bathroom.” Hee.) Pilar somehow has gotten her hands on the letter Manuel wrote, and she gives it to Mia. The note says Manuel has stuff to do, so he’ll be gone for a couple of days. Mia completely flips out that Manuel left without saying goodbye. She’s all like, “HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO ME?”
A wacky music montage ensues, of Dunoff wandering around the school trying to find clothes. Doesn’t he live at the school? Go to your house, Dunoff. He sneaks down to the laundry room to presumably steal pants. Ew, God, if Dunoff went commando in your trousers, you’d have to burn them. Anyway, he gets caught by some random kid. “What, do I have monkeys on my face?” he snaps. “No…and you don’t have pants on your legs, either,” the kid says. Hee! Dunoff dives headfirst down the laundry chute just as Etchamendi walks by. Then Lola and Bianca come in, looking for Chopy. Chopy’s escaped, and they run off to look for him. Dunoff’s like, “The fuck is a Chopy?”
Lujan feels a little better post-making out with Marcos, but when she goes back to Marizza’s room, Marizza and Laura are still waxing on about PILAS. Laura goes off to hang out with Francisco, and Marizza keeps musing on Laura’s slogan. Lujan snaps that they can work on the campaign without her and stalks off.
Bianca and Lola put their revenge into action, and it’s hilariously lame. Bianca distracts Marcos, and Lola steals his math homework and rips up his notes. That showed him, guys!
Blas creeps up to Mia and tells her that Manuel needs to sign something, and it’s so important that he has to come up and tell her about it despite promising to stay away from her like one episode ago. Mia’s like, “Well, Manuel can’t sign anything, because he’s gone.” Blas is weirdly chill about this, agreeing to cover for Manuel and suggesting that Manuel just didn’t want to ramble on about his issues if he’s only going to be gone for a little while. I’m suspicious! Blas would never miss an opportunity to break Mia and Manuel up! Mia flips out again that Manuel leaving without saying goodbye is the worst thing he could have ever done to her. Blas is like, “Oooookay.”
Laura breaks up with Francisco, telling him that she’s finally getting along well with Lola and she doesn’t want to mess that up, even for him. Francisco agrees to this, but then he’s like, “Let’s make out one last time.” And of course, this would be the exact moment that Lola walks in.
I just realized that Lis Moreno looked a lot like Marina & the Diamonds when she was on this show. (I just googled her and not so much anymore, but when she was a teenager, wow.)
Meanwhile, Etchamendi and the two other meeting attendees are waiting for Dunoff in his office. Dunoff apparently could not find a single pair of pants in the whole laundry room, so he waltzes in wearing a sheet as a toga, and he’s like, “It’s educational!” Etchamendi thinks he looks like a dumbass, but the other board members love it. They’re like, “Dressing up for education! You must really care about the students and have the finest quality teaching at this school!”
“I’m sorry, Fran,” Laura wails at a photo of Francisco she has taped up inside her locker. Yeesh. Lola rocks up to her, and super passive-aggressively asks how her relationship with Marcos is going. After all, Laura said she was never going to date, so what gives? Laura BSes that getting along with Lola finally got her to open up to love and some shit, and Lola finally loses it and jumps her. Francisco tries to break them up, and then Dante rolls up because he still thinks anyone cares about him. Lola shrieks that she knows Francisco and Laura were dating behind her back. “I don’t want to say I told you so, but…I told you so,” Dante says, helpfully.
Let’s take a break from the romance drama, and have some political drama instead. Pablo, Guido, and Tomás have set up shop in the cafeteria, and are handing out buttons. They have a box set up for kids to write down what they want from the student president, so Pablo can read them later, because he cares! Also, he’s giving them free food. Marizza comes in all, “Nobody will ever choose bribes over honest government policy!” because that’s what the poor underdog always does, and Pablo’s like, “Teenagers love free food and hate government policy, are you new?” Especially considering that Elite Way makes students pay for their own meals! Marizza is forced to concede this, and seethes.
Dunoff is still looking for pants. He finally manages to pull some kid aside and get him to give him the pants he’s wearing. With all the time he’s taking, he could just leave and buy another pair of pants at this point.
Pablo and Guido take out everyone’s surveys, and Pablo wants to throw them out. Guido’s like, “But, but, shouldn’t we listen to the concerns of our constituents?” and Pablo’s like, “No? Why would we do that?” He evils that he just wants the students to think he cares about them so they’ll vote him into power, and then he can do whatever the hell he wants. Jesus, this story arc feels eerily prescient.
Marizza goes to find Lujan in the gym, where Lujan is punching the smallest punching bag ever. She apologizes to Lujan and insists that she needs her on the campaign, too: Lujan can be, uh…the director of recess and sports! Lujan’s like, “Uh-huh, sounds legit.” Nevertheless, her desire for Marizza’s approval is stronger than her hatred for Laura, and she agrees to help Marizza with her campaign again.
Mia flips out about Manuel being gone again, some more. She wails that Manuel doesn’t love her anymore, and she wishes they were back in Ecuador, when they were happy. They were also stranded and afraid they were going to die, so…whatever, Mia. Feli and Vico are like, “There, there.” How can they literally have a gun to Manuel’s head and yet make the story so boring?
Back in Pablo’s room, he’s reading The Art of War. HA! He reads a passage aloud to Tomás and Guido, about infiltrating the enemy. Tomás naturally doesn’t understand it. Seriously, do you think Tomás even understands the instructions to play Candyland? Anyway, Pablo explains that they have to find a way to get into “Marizza’s body.” “Yeah, I bet you do,” Tomás snarks. Okay, hee. No, what Pablo means is that they need a spy. Tomás immediately suggests Pilar, because everyone in that school knows she’s really good at sneaking around and stabbing people in the back. Pablo swings his dick around about how he doesn’t trust a woman to do the job, and they’re like, “Well damn, Pablo, we only have a limited amount of secondary characters.” Lucky for them, Diego walks in all, “Sup guys” and they’re like, “Diego! You exist! Do you want some lines in the next few episodes?”
The kidnappers make Manuel call Mia, and she immediately starts reaming him out for ditching her. Manuel tries to explain that he’s being held up at gunpoint, but she won’t let him get a word in edgewise. Eventually one of the kidnappers grabs the phone and tells her that they want $30k, and not to involve the police or any adults. Mia’s like, “Where the fuck do you think a 15-year-old is going to get $30k?” Blas happens to be hanging around in her room when they call — not weird at all! — and she tells him that Manuel’s been kidnapped. He promises to help her.
By the way, if you were wondering if Luisana Lopilato’s acting has improved at all, the answer is no. Watching her scream into the phone is painful. Literally, she’s hurting my ears a bit.
Speaking of campaigns, Maria Jesus is still working on hers to slowly chip away at Andres and make him her boyfriend. She invites him to the movies, he says no, and then she passive-aggressively goes on and on about how she has no friends and thought he’d go with her, blah blah guilt trip blah. Andres agrees to go to the movies.
At school, Laura cries to Francisco that she doesn’t understand why Lola got so mad at her. What? Laura, I thought you were supposed to be smart! Anyway, Francisco wants to fix everything between the sisters as usual, because he’s way too involved, but Laura decides that she has to talk to Lola herself. A few scenes later, she sits Lola down to talk to her, but I’m just going to put that part here, because this episode drags all its plotlines out forever and it’s way too fucking long. Laura offers Lola a teddy bear as a peace offering, and Lola snaps that Laura’s not her sister and she never wants to see her again. Uh…much like Francisco in the last episode, does Lola not realize she lives with them? Once more, Laura derps that she has no idea what could’ve upset Lola.
Meanwhile, Pablo, Tomás, and Guido work on planting Diego in Marizza’s party. They give him a blood capsule and stage a fight in front of her, with Guido and Tomás beating Diego up. Pablo whispers the plan in Guido’s ear right before he leaves, and I can’t tell if Marizza is supposed to have seen that or not. Anyway, Marizza comes to Diego’s defense and he’s all like, “Omg, Marizza, I really admire how you stick up for the underdog, that is the exact quality I look for in a student council president!” Marizza seethes that Pablo sent his friends after Diego, and decides they need to get revenge. Lujan volunteers to beat Pablo up, because of course she does. “Slow down, Rocky,” Marizza says. Hee. Later, Tomás and Guido play another prank on Diego, and he pretends to flip out and join Team Marizza.
Dunoff goes outside, for some reason. He’s now wearing jeans that I guess he got off that kid. Why was he wearing jeans and not uniform pants? Nevermind, I don’t really care. Dunoff sees Chopy in the bushes outside and tries to crawl after him, and sticks his hand in dog poop for his troubles. Then, of course, Etchamendi and the other board members find him, wearing jeans with dog poop all over his hand. It’s pretty awkward.
Andres orders pizza without getting any for Maria Jesus, and she gets mad at him. Doesn’t he care about her? Aren’t they more than fuck buddies? Andres is like, “…no?” Maria Jesus backs off and says she’s just tired, and apologizes. Andres apologizes too and agrees to try harder.
The kidnappers call Mia again and tell her to get the money by tomorrow or they’ll kill Manuel. She cries to Blas that Manuel’s gonna die (hee! Don’t give up so easily, Mia!) and Blas is like, “That’s rough, buddy.”
Leave a Reply