Previously on Rebelde Way: OH GOD BLAS IS IN MIA’S ROOM SOMEBODY GET HIM OUT OF THERE. Seriously, though, Elite Way has the worst security in the world because there Blas is, creeping on Mia in her bedroom. He’s all pissed because she betrayed him (read: finally exposed his predatory behavior and got him fired). Mia finally stands up for herself and yells at him for selling the band out and also for being a sex offender. It’s a pretty legitimately frightening scene. Manuel runs in and is like, “You’re not a teacher anymore, right?” and proceeds to beat Blas up with impunity. “This is for Mia, and this for Lujan, and this for Luna, and this for me!” WOO! This season could end right here and I would be content!
Meanwhile, Sonia’s left Casa Colucci because Papa C won’t back her up on letting their teenage children be professional musicians. But then they both sit sadly in their rooms across town, being all emo when they’re apart! Could they…gasp…want to be together? They flashback to all the good times together, which is weird because this show usually reserves flashbacks for serious fights. Sonia and Papa C have fought way worse than this. Sonia eventually is like, “Fuck it,” and gets up to go see him.
Pablo and Marizza come back to school. They were off to go find Papa B and ask him for his help, but of course we didn’t get to see any of that. Pablo marvels that Papa B seems to have completely gotten over his anger about the band. Marizza’s like, “Uh, that’s called the cycle of abuse.” Pablo gets all sappy about how he likes being with Marizza, and she gives him the strength to confront his dad. Marizza’s like, “Slow your roll, I’m still with Simon,” and Pablo asks if she’s really happy with him. Marizza’s like, “Yeah, he’s a million years older than me and he has a kid and a meddling not-wife, what’s not to love?” “Happier than with me?” Pablo asks. Marizza answers in the affirmative, and Pablo says he’s happy for her and walks off. “I’ll never be as happy as I was with you,” Marizza voiceovers. “But that’s because I’m crazy.” HEE.
Lujan, Feli, and Vico plan their part in Operation Make Up For Being a Dick to Mansilla. They’re all excited that they have everything done, so Lujan hops off and Feli’s dad comes in. He’s brought Feli a white dress, and also a black dress with complimentary passive-aggressive insults about how slimming black is, courtesy of Feli’s mom. Feli sticks up for herself and says that she likes white, so she’ll wear the white dress. Vico’s all proud of her.
Marizza calls Sonia and snaps that Sonia wins and Marizza won’t go to Machu Picchu, but she hopes Sonia knows that she hates her the mostest! Sonia says that Marizza’s going to spend her summer at the beach with Sonia, Pepa, and Nacho, whether she likes it or not. Spending the summer with Pepa and Nacho? I’m with Marizza here; I’d hurl myself off the top of Machu Picchu before spending a protracted period of time with them. Marizza whines that she doesn’t want to go to the beach, and tells Lujan that she has a plan.
Nico is patching Manuel up after his fight with Blas, and Manuel is being a total baby about it. He shuts up real fast when Mia comes in, though, and takes over nursing his wounds. There’s lots of gentle face-touching, and Mia starts crying all over him about how he’s leaving school next year and they’ll never get to make out again. She cries that she wants to get back together, and Manuel says he wishes they could too, but it’s not meant to be. What? Manuel, if this relationship isn’t meant to be, then what are we even doing here? “We’re like this school,” he says. Incompetent and full of abusers? No, wait, what Manuel means is that they’re from different classes, and princesses don’t marry kitchen boys, and things like that can’t be changed. What the fuck? Is this show called Rebelde Way or not? Manuel’s such a poser.
Renata’s still hanging around the teachers’ lounge at night, and tells Mansilla that she was waiting for him. How you doin’? Mansilla confesses that he doesn’t want to leave Elite Way.
The next day, Sandra is all sad. Man, nobody is happy in this episode. She wails that she did so much work to protect Luna from her mom, and now Luna is waltzing off to San Luis to be Flor’s keeper, just like Luna’s mom always planned. Her efforts have been for naught! Cata’s like, “So just go to San Luis with her so you can give her speeches about standing up for herself and then enable her in her martyr complex like usual.” Sandra’s like, “What an idea!”
Lujan not at all suspiciously blows off Luna to hang out with Feli and Vico. Luna’s like, “Hello, shouldn’t you be getting all angry about this?” and Marizza’s like, “What are you talking about, I always support you guys hanging out with Mia’s friends.” OH! Are they all secretly planning Luna’s wedding? Luna tries to tell Marizza that she’s upset over not being given a role in planning “Mansilla’s party”, but Marizza also blows her off and runs away.
Manuel tells Nico about his girl troubles, and even though he’s hella in love with Mia, he doesn’t think they can ever be together. God bless, he actually feels guilty about being an asshole to her for the entire year. He’s like, “I’m a total dick with nothing to offer!” HEE! At least he’s self-aware. Nico’s like, “Bro, I’m fifteen years old, do you think I’m bringing anything to me and Luna’s relationship? Hell no! But our messy personalities go perfectly together, and THAT’S why we’re in love.” Aw. That’s actually kind of sweet, in a bizarrely realistic way that I wasn’t expecting from this show. Manuel thanks Nico for being his friend, and sticking with him for all 138 episodes of this madness. Fuck me, it’s actually making me emotional.
Papa C tells Peter that he wants to go off and be alone for a while. He’s gonna go on vacation and not take Mia? That’s fucking cold.
Guido cracks some misogynistic jokes about how he got an apartment for the summer, and the best part is that it has two doors! “One door for a new girl to come in through, and the other for the already-used girls to leave through.” Who are these mysterious girls, plural, that Guido thinks want to fuck him? I hope he gets punched next. Anyway, Vico rolls up and asks what they’re talking about, and they get all nervous.
Everyone goes to class, where Dunoff is waiting to hand out their report cards. Tomás is all nervous because he thinks he’s not going to pass. Aaaand he hasn’t; he’s failed like everything. Heh. Poor dumb Tomás.
Renata asks Hilda about Hilario; and Hilda’s like, “My friend Hilario is doing very well.” Hilda, we have one episode left, there’s no more time to be playing around with that BS. Gloria comes in and tells Hilda her class has been canceled and Dunoff wants to talk to her, and Hilda freaks out that she means canceled canceled. But no, it’s actually just yet another trap by Mansilla to push her and Hilario together. He gives her a speech about giving love a second chance, and then Hilario comes in and proposes to her. Wait, what? Did he break up with his wife without telling us? Hilda cries all over him and says yes. They hug, but they don’t kiss. Hey, be ~rebelde, show. Don’t be afraid of showing septuagenarians making out.
Lujan tells Marizza that their plan is a go, except for one small detail: how are they going to sneak out of school? Marizza’s like, “We’re on episode 138, and you still don’t know how to sneak out?”
Back in her dressing room, Sonia’s being all emo, and Pepa’s like, “Is it because you have a thing for Colucci?” Heh. Sonia perks right up, though, when a guy comes by with an envelope from Marizza. It’s a pamphlet for Machu Picchu, and Sonia takes that as Marizza relenting and letting Sonia chaperone her. Maybe Marizza got wise and realize Sonia as a chaperone is basically the same thing as Sonia not being there at all anyway.
Over at school, that is exactly what Marizza has realized. Hee. She chirps that while Sonia’s off getting a tan, she and Simon will be sneaking off to mack it. That’s exactly what the Inca built Machu Picchu for. Anyway, then Feli comes in all excited that their plan is ready, and they tell Luna that they need her to do the last bit of it. Sadly, they did not count on Luna getting sick of being blown off and saying she doesn’t feel like putting on a dress and going to the beach. Eventually they browbeat her into it, and over in Manuel’s room, he and Marcos manage to convince Nico to change his clothes and meet them elsewhere.
Tomás is still crying over his grades, so to shut him up, Pablo sits down and starts changing them from the Argentinian equivalent of Fs to Bs and Cs. Ah, the days before teachers put grades on the Internet. Tomás freaks out that he’ll get caught, but Pablo assures him that nobody will find out. And now someone is absolutely going to find out.
For some reason, the kids think Dunoff will just let them walk out of school before the year is officially over. Shouldn’t they be having some kind of final concert, like last year? Hopefully with less inappropriate clothes removal this time. Apparently not, though; eventually Pilar has to run up and tell him that Mama D is upset to get him to leave. Mama D actually is upset, and she tells Dunoff that she was thinking of pulling a Mansilla and leaving. Dunoff promises that things will change, and they kiss and make up. Yeah…I was a happy person before witnessing Dunoff making out.
IF I HAD TO SEE IT, YOU DO TOO.
Nico and Luna are both dressed in white, and they wander around some random lake herp derping about what could possibly be going on. They hear the strains of an Erreway song in the distance, and they’re like, “What could that be?” It’s a wedding! Yes, you’ll be shocked to know that all that secrecy was actually everyone planning Nico and Luna’s wedding. Fuck making anything up to Mansilla, right?
Marizza greets them and she’s like, “Luna, we’ve all dicked you around for 138 episodes, so now we’re gonna do this one nice thing for you and call it even, cool?” She gives them a speech about how, on behalf of all the ~rebeldes in the world (drink!), she sanctions Nico and Luna’s love, and fuck all the adults who think their high school love won’t make it! “I now declare you husband and wife,” she says, because apparently Marizza’s ordained now. Did she print one of those certificates off the Internet?
Jokes aside, it’s pretty cute, and Luna is looking v. early 2010s in that flower crown of hers. They kiss, and everyone claps for them. Everyone except Marizza, who runs off all emo because Simon hasn’t shown up. Pablo follows her and tells her that he knows she doesn’t want him anymore, but he hopes they can be friends. He asks her to dance, and she accepts.
Also being emo is Mia. She admits to Feli that she’s jealous of Luna, and Feli points out that Luna’s spent the whole season fighting for love and her sister and martyring herself for God and everybody. “What are you trying to say?” Mia asks. “I’m trying to say that Manuel is the best guy you’re ever gonna meet in your life,” Feli says. That’s sadly probably true. She tells Mia to go fight for Manuel, and realize what’s important in life. “And realize it’s not so hard to be you.” HEE! Feli calls Manuel over — that’s pretty gutsy of her, and I like it! — and leaves them to talk. They chit-chat about their summer plans, but Mia can’t get up the nerve to tell him how she feels. Manuel apologizes to her for being such a dick throughout the school year, and she apologizes for being slightly less of a dick, but still occasionally a dick. They mention that the thing with Blas went well (OR DID IT?), and Mia says they make a good team. Awkward! Manuel kisses her cheek and walks her back to the rest of the group, and neither of them admit that they liiike each other.
And then there is a random of interlude of everyone dancing on the beach to “Bonita de más.” We’ve really come full circle, guys! They don’t even sing the first verse, they just cut randomly to the chorus. What is wrong with this show? Everyone’s having lots of fun, though, and it’s quite cute.
Everyone goes back to school, and Marizza waxes on about how well it all went as she packs up her room. She and Vico are all excited about their vacations, although Vico’s a little worried about what’s going to happen to her and Guido. Just break up with him, Vico. You’ve wasted too much time on him already! Then Simon shows up, and Marizza is all twitterpated, until he tells her that he can’t go with her to Machu Picchu. Simon Jr. is still sick, and he has responsibilities, and even the idea of underage makeouts isn’t enough to lure him away. Marizza flips out and asks him to wait for her.
Nico and Luna admire their rings. Uh, they know getting married by Marizza isn’t a legally binding ceremony, right? Luna is still emo, though, that Sandra didn’t give them her blessing. Sandra sneaks up behind him and she’s like, “Of course I support your wacky decision! But FYI, you still have to register your marriage, so I’m coming with you to San Luis.” Oh thank God, I was afraid Luna and Nico were gonna be living in sin, thinking Marizza has the power to license marriages vested in her. Sandra says she’s going to leave the cafeteria to Cata, and open up a hair salon in San Luis.
Marizza tells Lujan and Marcos that Simon isn’t coming with them. Marcos looks weirdly upset, possibly at the thought of going on vacation with all that estrogen? Whatever, like he’d want to hang out with Simon anyway. Oh, and Lujan can’t go either, because her tutor blew off all her requests for permission, and so Marcos isn’t going either. Damn, Marcos, I thought you and Marizza were friends! Some people ain’t loyal. I genuinely feel bad for her here, man.
Tomás is still freaking out about his grades, and Pablo and Guido are just like, “Get over it, you’re harshing our buzz.” Guido threatens that if Tomás doesn’t face his dad about his grades, then Guido will be left without a vacation, “and NOBODY leaves me without a vacation.” Isn’t Guido poor? Like he’s ever been on vacation in his life.
Etchamendi reams Renata out for breaking up with her boyfriend for Mansilla. Renata’s like, “But I love him!” and Etchamendi offers to get Mansilla his job back if it means Renata won’t go running off to the wilderness of Argentina with him. Renata runs to tell Mansilla the good news, but he doesn’t want to come back to the school via Renata’s nepotism.
Mia comes into Marizza’s room, and Marizza’s pissy with her, thinking she wants to argue. But no, Mia is not here to argue: she’s here to invite Marizza on vacation with her. Since Luna’s off playing house in San Luis, they have a free spot, and then they can go to Machu Picchu afterwards. Aw! Mia is pure of heart and I love her, and I even love Marizza when she’s being nice. Mia’s like, “They have a shopping in Machu Picchu, right?” “Yeah, there’s the ruins’ mall, which the Incas left behind when they all died,” Marizza deadpans. Heh. Marizza grudgingly admits that she understands why Sonia loves Mia so much, and musses her hair in thanks. “Look, if you really want to thank people, this is how you do it,” Mia says. She kisses Marizza on the cheek and leaves her all confused in her wake, while “Complicated” plays in the background. This…is kind of homoerotic, no?
Dunoff calls Lujan into the office — wait, so did he ever figure out that they all snuck out of school or not? Was that wedding just like five minutes then they all went back?Dunoff tells her that her tutor has sent her a suitcase, and Lujan’s like, “So…what’s it for?” Dunoff’s like, “Golly, it looks like your tutor wants us to kick you out of school. Too bad, huh?” Could…it not be implicit permission for Lujan to go on vacation? Tutor, bro, you gotta stop being so vague about these things.
Feli’s all salty about Mia inviting Marizza, but Mia and Vico tell her to get over it. Well, maybe now that she’s not mortal enemies with Mia, Marizza will stop throwing around insults about Feli’s weight. Mia mentions that she left the tickets with Marizza, and even Vico’s like, “You WHAT?” Mia insists that everything will be fine. OR WILL IT? Because the camera pans over her shoulder, and there Blas is, being a fucking creeper. ~*~DUN DUN DUN~*~
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