Opening monologue: I don’t know which kid is doing this voiceover (sounds kinda like Feli?) but she mumbles a LOT. Something something I never knew there was life outside my garden but then I saw there was and you looked proud of me and I felt heroic? I think?
You’ll recall that last episode was all like, “Oh shit, Joaquin is DEAD!” He’s totally not, though. I, for one, did not see that coming! Blas comes storming in out of nowhere and yells at the gym teacher about how this is his fault. I think Blas is just jealous that even the gym teacher has a real job and he doesn’t. The gym teacher tells Blas to call an ambulance, and Blas is like, “No, let’s call the school nurse! That’s just as effective!” This is why you’ll never be a real teacher, Blas. He sends Mia off to get the school nurse’s number from Gloria. Gloria’s like, “UGH, why must you bother me with student problems?”
Nevertheless, she starts looking for the nurse’s number. (Actually, they say “the school doctor”, but I’m imagining that functions something like a school nurse.) Mansilla comes in and asks what’s going on, and then he’s like, “Dude! CALL AN AMBULANCE!” I’m sayin’! Dr. Robles, who’s followed him into the office, is like, “Dang, this school IS terrible.”
Meanwhile, Sonia’s trying to get the dirt on Mama C from her sleazy ex-boyfriend (Sonia’s, not Mama C’s). Sleazy Ex-BF snaps that Colucci was the beginning of the end for Mama C, she was unhappy because their class difference, blah blah we already know this blah. BUT THEN! Mama C was in a car accident with some guy from her band, while they were on their way to Chile. They found one body, which was assumed to be Mama C’s, but not the guy’s. And Papa C helped cover it up, because Mama C wasn’t exactly running away to sing with the guy, if we get Sleazy Ex-BF’s drift. Sonia’s like, “Well, that’s not what I wanted to tell a 15-year-old girl about her dead mother.”
Lounge. Everyone’s talking about Joaquin, and Nico’s like, “Hey, why were Mia, Vico, and Feli in class with us anyway?” I mean, if they can perv on the girls’ dance group, how come the girls can’t watch their gym class? Mia tells them that they were getting proof of Joaquin’s drug operation on tape, and everyone’s all shocked. Even Manuel, and I thought he knew about it? You know, from the time he and Nico bailed Tomás out? Whatever.
Mama D finds Pilar crying in the hallway over Joaquin. Mama D tells her that they’re pumping Joaquin’s stomach at the hospital, and he’s going to live, but he’s probably going to get kicked out of school. Pilar sniffles that they can’t do that, because she loves him, and Mama D’s like, “Okay, but like…you shouldn’t.” Hee. Pilar tells her mom that Joaquin was “the first boy of [her] life,” if Mama D gets her drift. “Pilar, are you saying…you and Joaquin…” and Pilar nods. Dude! They totally had sex! I’m genuinely a little surprised? I was expecting something more romance novel-y, where everyone comes REALLY CLOSE to losing their virginity to the wrong love interest, but they don’t actually give it up until they’re in the “right” relationship. Way to throw me off, show! There are quite a few things trying to be twists in this episode, but this is the only one that’s any kind of shocking.
Julieta drags Manuel off and asks what he’s up to. Manuel muses on how surprised he is that Mia’s actually like, caring about issues and shit. Julieta, as ever, is not pleased that Manuel’s talking about Mia. She tells Manuel that if he can shut up about Mia for five minutes, she’s noticed Rodrigo is hanging around Marcos, and the Society is up to something. I mean…as usual? It’s news to Manuel, though.
Pepa asks Sonia what she’s going to do about Mia, and Sonia muses that usually she advocates for telling the truth, but in this case, she doesn’t know. I hate to say it, but she should tell Papa C. If Sleazy Ex-BF didn’t have the full story, Sonia could mess up Mia’s relationship with her dad for no reason. It would also probably get much worse if Papa C found out Sonia was telling Mia unconfirmed stuff about her mom behind his back. Anyway, Mia calls Sonia asking what she’s found out, and Sonia delays and tells Mia she has to meet her in person.
Mia and Manuel run into each other in the bathroom again. Oh good, this continues to not be weird at all. Also weird because I remember at some point it was weird for Mia to be walking in on the boys showering? I didn’t make that up, right? Anyway, Manuel appears to sincerely tell Mia he’s glad she’s not a 100% shitty person, and she snips that she doesn’t care about his approval. Manuel gets all up in her face and says, “If I didn’t exist to you, you wouldn’t treat me like this.” Tension! An excellent time for Guido to walk in.
Guido immediately starts waving his dick around and yelling at Manuel to back off because Mia is MINE, blah blah male inferiority complex blah. Manuel immediately starts laughing at him: “Did you say Mia is mine? That’s funny, ’cause…Mia es mia, get it?” Hee. Guido does not, in fact, get it.
Dr. Robles is all pissed at Dunoff for not calling an ambulance straight away, and storms off to take a call from Papa B. Dunoff is all nervous that they’re talking about him behind his back, and browbeats Gloria into calling him as soon as Dr. Robles comes back. “It’s so difficult to be me!” he doesn’t say. (But he comes pretty close.)
Gloria looking like me at work, to be honest.
Marcos gets a note from the Society, telling him they’ve left his next step to joining in his room. He finds a creepy-ass doll hanging in the closet with Lujan’s name attached. Dun dun dun!
It is pretty terrifying, not gonna lie.
He asks Manuel what to do, and Manuel’s like, “Don’t tell her the truth, that would just like…not lead to contrived misunderstandings, and we can’t be having that.” Although in fairness, knowing Lujan’s love of violent confrontation, maybe hiding this from her is for the best. Marcos agrees.
Matías is hanging out with Luna and asking if things are getting better with the boy she likes. Aw! Dammit, I think I like Matías. He asks Luna out and she declines, because she’s still in love with Nico. Matías is gracious about it, although he looks kind of confused by the concept of being rejected.
He goes back to see Tatiana, and tells her Luna didn’t want to go out with him. Tatiana’s response is basically the same as Leslie Knope’s above. Matías emos that Luna’s still hung up on this mystery guy, even though they’re fighting. Tatiana: “THEY’RE FIGHTING? Tell me more!” (Like, does he have a car?) Matías is like, “Can’t you see I’m heartbroken?!” and runs away from her. Hee.
Manuel sees Mia and Guido being coupley in the lounge, which is just an excuse to launch into the video for “Será porque te quiero“. It’s SUCH a bad song and corny video and yet, I love it. Also, it’s WEIRD to see Marizza after she’s been missing for so many episodes. Anyway, needless interlude over, back to the episode. Guido bitters to Tomás and Pablo that Manuel doesn’t believe Mia’s his girlfriend. Tomás and Pablo are like, “Who cares?” and Guido says that he gets the vibe that there’s something going on between Mia and Manuel. Man, even Guido can pick up on it. He says that he’s gonna make sure Manuel never messes with his girlfriend, and storms off to kick Manuel’s ass. Tomás and Pablo hilariously don’t back him up, they just stay behind in the room and are like, “Lol good luck.” Hee. Also, I think this is the only time we see them in this episode.
The next day. Sonia goes to see Papa C about the Mama C drama. Wow, being that it was the most sensible route of action, I was not at all expecting her to do it. Not that she misses the chance to needle him: “What am I here for? Hmm, to tell or not to tell. But first, I’ll take that coffee you didn’t offer me.” Heh. They get settled and she starts off, “I know Mia’s asking about her mom, because another girl at school told me. They tell me these things because they all adore me; I know you’re not popular with the kids, but I am.” Also heh. She finally hedges that she knows that Mama C wasn’t happy with Papa C, and Papa C might consider telling Mia the truth about her parents’ relationship. Sonia says that her dad wasn’t really her dad, so she knows what it’s like to be 15 and surrounded by lies, and Papa C should come clean with Mia. Papa C does not like that at all, and kicks Sonia out.
Meanwhile, Mia and Guido are eating breakfast together. Mia’s all grossed out that Guido’s ordered croissants (the calories!), and that he’s dipping them in his coffee. I mean…I don’t know that I’d do it with another person present, but dipping croissants in coffee sounds pretty good. Wait, does that make me and Guido a perfect couple? That’s a terrifying thought. Guido decides now is the time to beat up Manuel and heads off. I don’t know if he wanted Mia to follow him, but she doesn’t. Heh.
Guido finds Manuel in the bathroom, brushing his teeth with Nico. Does Manuel just live in the bathroom now? Nico’s bittering on about how Luna broke up with him (Manuel: “Uh, you broke up with her.”), when Guido gets up in Manuel’s face and tells him to stop fucking around with Mia. Manuel tries to punch him, but then Nico gets between them and Manuel hits him instead. I shouldn’t have found that funny, but I did. Then Vico comes in and breaks it up, and Guido’s like, “I’M Mia’s boyfriend!!!” and Vico’s like, “O…kay?”
Mia is in the classroom, flipping out over Guido DIPPING HIS CROISSANT IN HIS COFFEE CUP. The horror! “Get over it, Mia,” Feli says. Hee. This episode is pretty funny, I must say. Vico comes running in to tell Mia that Guido tried to fight Manuel over her, and Mia immediately wants to know what Manuel did. Feli: “Are you more concerned about Manuel, or your boyfriend?” Ooh. Then Blas comes in and sends Feli and Vico out (ick!) and asks Mia if it’s true that she’s dating Guido. None of your business, creepy teacher man! Mia reluctantly says yes, and Blas passive-aggressively says that’s fine with him. And guess what! Even if it wasn’t, it’s NONE OF HIS BUSINESS!
SUFFER, YOU CREEPY WEIRDO.
Dunoff wants to expel Joaquin, but Dr. Robles is having one of it. He thinks Joaquin is just like, a victim of drug addiction, and that’s not a good enough reason to expel him. It’s not? My schools always had rules about even bringing drugs on campus, let alone using or selling them. But whatever. Dr. Robles calls Mansilla in and asks if Mansilla will accept the position of principal if they kick Dunoff out. Both Dunoff and Mansilla are like, “Whoa, this escalated quickly.” I appreciate Dr. Robles for calling out how shitty this school is, but surely this is a little unprofessional. Anyway, we cut away, but I guess they resolve it somehow, because next time we see Dunoff, he’s speechifying to the class about how this has never happened in the history of Elite Way! Man, he says that every time something bad happens. Mia stands up and says Joaquin wasn’t just on drugs, he was also selling them, and she has video proof! The entire class starts applauding, except Pilar.
Marizza’s room. Luna is all emo, and she tells Lujan she’s thinking about Nico. “You’re always thinking about Nico,” Lujan says. She advises Luna to forget him and Luna’s like, “You know what? I WILL.” She packs up all of Nico’s stuff and storms out to give it back to him. Ah, the post-breakup exchange of gifts. I bet she’ll go hit up Matías after this. Lujan decides to also look in the closet, and sees that someone’s broken her laptop. “My only contact with my tutor!” she gasps. What, she can’t just…send an email from the school computer?
It turns out Dr. Robles doesn’t believe Mia about Joaquin selling drugs, because clearly he is just an innocent sick kid! Man, Dr. Robles, and I almost liked you. He wants Mia to hand over the tape, but she says it’s her only proof and she doesn’t want to give it away. Knowing how things work in this school, that’s probably smart of her. Then Guido comes in and says he was helping Mia film, so he can back her up on Joaquin selling drugs. Mia beams up at him. Oh, this will end well.
Marcos goes to the chem room, thinking he’s meeting up with Nico, and the Society jumps him and drags him off. And nobody was surprised.
Sonia comes in and greets Random Amanda, and I think she actually says her name, but I couldn’t catch it 🙁 She’s just doomed to be Random Amanda forever, sorry. Anyway, Sonia tells Random Amanda that she’s looking for Mia, because she has something important to tell her. “AND WHAT MIGHT THAT BE?” Papa C asks, popping up behind her. Dun dun dun!
Finally, we get to the last scene. Nico’s writing Luna’s name over and over in his notebook, like this is The Shining or something.
The beginning of his descent into madness.
For some reason, he decides to pop up and look through Manuel’s stuff, and sees that Manuel still has Mia’s diary. Nico’s like, “Well, I have nothing better to do than fix the lock on this thing, for contrivance purposes.” Naturally, Luna picks this moment to walk in and dump all of Nico’s presents on the bed. She catches him fiddling with Mia’s diary and is like, “I can’t believe you’re reading Mia’s diary!!!” What a shocking development!
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